OT: When friends are adopting......?

[pl'smama]

Hi Everyone, a couple of friends of mine are preparing for the arrival of their two new sons, ages 2.5 and 3.5. They will be bringing them home to stay in about three weeks. We are thrilled to death for them and they to are over the moon with joy. I want to do something really special to mark the day for them, but I don't know how. I don't want to intrude on what will be a very private event, but I don't want to ignore it either.

Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions? My friends do not have any other children, but did suffer the loss of quadruplets during a very difficult pregnancy about two years ago, so I want to be sensitive, yet celebratory.

Any thoughts or suggestions would be welcomed.

Thank you, Suz

 

[DVCJEN]

Has anyone planned a shower or welcome home party for them? We were given a shower before our DS arrived. Friends of ours had a "meet our family" party about a month after their 2 children arrived home.
Celebrate the new arrivals just as you would if they gave birth to their children---be happy and excited for them. I think if is wonderful though, that you want to be so sensitve to them. You are a good friend.

 

[ldo]

The neighborhood gave her a "welcome" BBQ reception (with little gifts). I like the idea, and I like that it was 1 month later. She knew something special was planned (so she knew friends were thinking of her) but the month gave the new family time to adjust before appearing at a function.
No "baby shower" type things--no banner, cake, etc. just a nice get together to mark the special new family member.

 

[pl'smama]

Thank you guys, such great ideas! I have talked about a shower idea with my mom, but we are unsure because I do not really know their families. I would not want to step on any toes.

I had thought of having a balloon-o-gram delivered on the day they arrive home to stay, with maybe a stuffed toy each and some kind of cake or special dessert. I am really unsure how to approach this.

I plan to get my friend a subscription to Today's Parent magazine, as little something for her. Should I concentrate on "things" for the boys or get mommy and daddy to be a separate gift?

Thanks again for the encouraging and supportive advice.

Suz

 

[DVCJEN]

I think a nice idea for a gift would be a "family gift". Some game or activity they can do together. Since the children are a little older, "bonding" activities are going to be especially important, it will help the children attach to their new mommy and daddy.

 

[pl'smama]

I think a nice idea for a gift would be a "family gift". Some game or activity they can do together. Since the children are a little older, "bonding" activities are going to be especially important, it will help the children attach to their new mommy and daddy.

What a great idea! My first thought was a bigger version of a kiddie pool, but that is probably not so good. I have no idea if these boys like water or would be afraid of it. So, no pool ,but there are other things for kids and parents to do. I should have some ideas as I am a parent!!!

Thank you DVCJen, I appreciate the help.

Suz

 

[Tink561]

When we brought our daughter home from China a group of our friends met us at the airport with balloons, etc. They did *not* come home with us...just greeted us. Also, they arranged to bring dinners for a few days.

That would be nice for when they first get home. I also like the idea of planning a shower/family event for them about a month or maybe even two after they arrive home.

Do they have what they need for when the boys arrive? If not, you could plan a shower before they arrive.

 

[pl'smama]

When we brought our daughter home from China a group of our friends met us at the airport with balloons, etc. They did *not* come home with us...just greeted us. Also, they arranged to bring dinners for a few days.

That would be nice for when they first get home. I also like the idea of planning a shower/family event for them about a month or maybe even two after they arrive home.

Do they have what they need for when the boys arrive? If not, you could plan a shower before they arrive.

Thank you Tink, I like the idea of having a meal or two prepared for them in advance. That would certainly help. I know they are in the process of finding out what the boys will bring with them, like clothes, toys etc.. My friends have already bought the kids each a bed and dresser and have started to decorate a room each for them. Apparently they have separate rooms now at the foster home and it was recommended they have separate ones in the new home.

Can I ask Tink, did you prefer that your welcome home group not come to the house or would you have wanted them around?

Thank you, Suz

 

[Tink561]

Thank you Tink, I like the idea of having a meal or two prepared for them in advance. That would certainly help. I know they are in the process of finding out what the boys will bring with them, like clothes, toys etc.. My friends have already bought the kids each a bed and dresser and have started to decorate a room each for them. Apparently they have separate rooms now at the foster home and it was recommended they have separate ones in the new home.

Can I ask Tink, did you prefer that your welcome home group not come to the house or would you have wanted them around?

Thank you, Suz

We would not have wanted them to come home with us. BUT, we had travelled for over 24 hours from China. We were also reunited with our 3 teen boys after two weeks *and* my parents were staying at home with the boys. So, I was pleased to see the friends at the airport but it was nice to come home to a quiet house.

Our dd was only 10 months old when we brought her home. Since these boys are older I think you have to be even more careful not to overwhelm them.

 

[jcc0621]

How about sime tickets to the local zoo or museum do they can plan a family trip....I did this when my DF and her husband adopted their first son. Got them tickets to the local children's museum.

 

[pl'smama]

How about sime tickets to the local zoo or museum do they can plan a family trip....I did this when my DF and her husband adopted their first son. Got them tickets to the local children's museum.

That is an excellent idea JCC, I like that a lot. Being summer there are several options here to choose from. Thank you so much!



And Tink, I think you are right that since the boys are older they may get over whelmed easier. Very good point. Thank you.

Suz

 

[belle&beast]

This is a timely thread for me. My friend (and coworker) just got her referral and picture for her daughter yesterday, so we all were talking about what to do for her. She will be traveling to China in 7-10 weeks, and they started their adoption process about 2 years ago, so I think they have almost everything they need- I know the nursery is waiting and she has lots of clothes. I still am going to have a some type of shower for her just to celebrate that her baby will be home soon.

 

[Tink561]

This is a timely thread for me. My friend (and coworker) just got her referral and picture for her daughter yesterday, so we all were talking about what to do for her. She will be traveling to China in 7-10 weeks, and they started their adoption process about 2 years ago, so I think they have almost everything they need- I know the nursery is waiting and she has lots of clothes. I still am going to have a some type of shower for her just to celebrate that her baby will be home soon.

Congrats to your friend! I remember getting our referral the end of August last year...such a magical day! Definitely do a shower for them. Though they have been buying things for a couple of years (aske me how I know!) now it's even more fun to shop/get gifts because now they know who it's for.

 

[Zoemakes5]

When my girlfriend adopted, we had a big shower for her before they brought their son home. I hosted it. I got her a "baby book" that was specifically for adoptive children. The questions are more toward "this is the first day we found out you were coming. this is the first picture we got of you. etc. It was something very special to my friend, as the traditional "baby" book didn't work, but they wanted something like that.
She got her DS when he was a little over two years old. We didn't even know what size he was, only that he was a bit "small for his age". I had the theme be a "library" shower, where everyone brought a book to build the little boy's library. Most people also brought other presents, but others gave special attention to the books. Not knowing the boy's size, they didn't want to get a ton of clothes for him beforehand, especially with the dramatic weather changes in this area! Plus, I knew that her family had a shower for her, too. The one I did, I invited mostly friends and co-workers. I did invite her mom and sisters, but this wasn't her "family" shower.
I also think that hosting something after they're home might be a great idea. I'd give them a bit of time, and then host a bbq, or shower or picnic or something. If you're not wanting to do that, I'd recommend one of the "experiences" that others have mentioned and one of those adoption "baby books".

 

[Pixiedust34]

I love the idea of a shower or celebration and the family gift, especially a gift like a zoo or museum membership. That is something fun they can all do together.

Also appreciated would be a meal or two during the first few weeks. I know that the new mom is not recovering from childbirth, but she is still a new mom and will probably be not sleeping much as the kids will take time to sleep well in their new homes. Having a dinner brought over (or even a gift certificate to a local pizza or take out place) would probably be appreciated. It'll give the mom a chance to rest for an evening or give much-needed attention to her kids as they acclimate into their new home.

Congratulations to your friends!

 

[PiperPizzaz]

I think passes to the local zoo or museum was a great idea!

How about family pictures? You can buy photo packages through Sears I know and probably other places too.
Here is a link: http://www.searsportrait.com/cpi/en-US/products/Certificates/

 

[GoinToDisney]

Applebees and other restaurants like that have meals to go. My friend just had a baby and she said she got gift certificates there. She said it was so nice not having to cook and being able to order what she wanted.

 

[KristinU]

Our friends and neighbors deocrated our yard with a big yard sign, balloons, and luminaries on the night we brought our DS home. It was wonderful and perfect because we knew that they were thinking of us yet they did it while we were at the airport meeting DS and didn't intrude on our first moments as a family together. Not to mention, the luminaries made the evening even more magical...it makes me all misty to think of it actually! They also left us a gift card tied to the door handle - ours was to Babies r Us since DS was still a baby...but the same could be done with restaurant GCs or the zoo passes that were mentioned.

 

[DawnM]

I personally would plan a get-together a week after they get home if they are coming from far.

I was so exhausted after flying in from China, never mind the time change, trying to keep a 2 year old busy by myself for over 20 hours, etc.....also, due to storms in NJ, our NJ-NC flight was delayed for 4.5 hours so anyone meeting us at the airport would have had to re-arrange any plans to come around 9pm instead of 4:30pm.

Dawn

Thank you Tink, I like the idea of having a meal or two prepared for them in advance. That would certainly help. I know they are in the process of finding out what the boys will bring with them, like clothes, toys etc.. My friends have already bought the kids each a bed and dresser and have started to decorate a room each for them. Apparently they have separate rooms now at the foster home and it was recommended they have separate ones in the new home.

Can I ask Tink, did you prefer that your welcome home group not come to the house or would you have wanted them around?

Thank you, Suz

 

[wehavesix]

When we adopted our children 8 years ago, my friends threw us a huge shower. We adopted 4 children (a sibling group) ages 2, 3, 4, and 5 years old. They came from the foster homes with very little so we needed it!