OT: When friends are adopting......?

[design_mom]

How thoughtful of you to be thinking of your friend! Congratulations to them!

I have two thoughts --
1) is what we did
2) is some current philosophy that may/may not apply to your friend

We adopted our children as toddlers from Russia (two separate adoptions). Our friends and family met us at the airport with balloons and signs and it was *so* wonderful to see them. (One time it was at 1:00 in the morning and I didn't expect anyone would be there -- we were originally supposed to be in earlier but missed our connection.) They all got to meet our new little one briefly, then we went home to our quiet house.

I was so excited to share our joy (so I was glad we were there) but I was also exhausted (so I'm glad they didn't come home with us.)

We also had a baby shower/welcome home party about a month after we got home where everyone got to meet him. Actually, the party was a surprise to me (but my mom and DH were in on it), then after our little one got up from his nap, DH brought him to the party for the end of it, so everyone got to meet him.

However, some experts suggest "cocooning" your children during their first months home -- especially if they're toddlers who have been living in an orphanage environment. If so, they've probably rarely been outside of one room at the baby home, so every experience is a new experience to them. Things that regular toddlers are used to -- phones ringing, riding in cars, trips to the grocery store -- can be scary and overwhelming for them.

We kept things low key the first few weeks home, but we didn't follow that advice strictly. However some people follow it *very* strictly (No visitors, no outings, no fanfare.) (We took DD to WDW two months after coming home which about gave one of my very-strictly-followed-the-advice friends a heart attack.) So you might want to get a "read" on what your friend is thinking. (I really hope that came out right. I'm not trying to be negative, really.... Just that's the current philosophy, and explaining why some people might not want a large party or lots of fanfare.)

If your friend wants a welcoming party at the airport or one shortly after returning home, I think that would be a wonderful gesture -- I still get warm-fuzzies thinking about coming around that corner and seeing everyone. But if you're not sure/can't find out, I think the idea of decorating the house/yard and giving them a gift certificate for a restaurant that does take-out (or a freezer full of meals) sounds wonderful.

 

[iluvdisnee]

My daughters are from Russia. I have several friends who have adopted internationally.

When we came home we had friends / Family meet us at the airport then went home to a quiet house.


When one of my friends came home from China with her daughter we decorated the outside of her house with Balloons, Streamers, a Big Sign that said Welcome Home Abbie and signed by us all. Etc. We hid behind a bush until they arrived and they were SO Surprised.

When another friend who I am close to adopted we were fortunate enough to be let into thier house by her Mom. We bought several dozen Pink Helium Ballooons and put them all up in the Living Room with a Note. We told them to Release the balloons into the air to signify thier New Lives together.

They were VERY touched.

 

[livndisney]

I say this as someone who has adopted an "older child".
1) you are a wonderful friend for caring enough to ask the question and wanting to do something for them.
2) I know when I travelled, I did NOT want people at the airport. My daughter was so shell shocked from everything that has happened in her world, it would have just been too much to have people at the airport.
3)One of the BEST things, was walking into my house and having the fridge full. I did not have to deal with the grocery for awhile. (maybe this is an idea for you). There is so MUCH newness when you first come home with your child, all you want is food you recoginze!
4)The zoo was too much for my daughter when she first came home. She was TERRIFIED of animals (having never seen an animal before). The same with the pool. (A family pass to the zoo would be a wonderful gift, but I would wait and ask the new parents first-I paid for a pass and only used it once)

Just my experience

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

You are a wonderful friend for wanting to celebrate such an important event! I think at first I would just try and do things that would make life easier for the family, like dinners or gift cards for dinners out, nothing too obtrusive. I'm sure they are going to need a good while to let the kids adjust to their new environment the way it normally is before they start introducing them to any type of gathering of friends or family. Kids get overwhelmed so easily and even though it is well intended, I'd wait a little bit to do something like that. We are in the process of adopting too, but our situation is much different since we are adopting my nephew. If I was bringing a new child home (meaning new to the environment), I think I'd want some space for us at first. I think the portrait certificate is also a great idea as someone else suggested.

 

[badblackpug]

I think a nice card, or balloons, or flowers would be nice. As far as gifts go, I would stick to gift cards or certificates. I think some good ideas would be toy stores, childrens clothing stores, grocery stores, bookstores, or places like Target or WalMart, where the family could get the things they need.

 

[ohiominnie]

Why not a membership to the local zoo? Someone mentioned tickets to a zoo or museum, but by the time you add up admission for 4, you're usually pretty close to a membership. That way they have somewhere fun to take them for a year.