OT: What would you do about a toddler who won't eat?

[wrldpossibility]

This has gradually become more and more of a problem, with our 22-month-old getting pickier and pickier about what he likes. Then last week he got a bad cold and lost his appetite. Since then (he's better now), he has eaten next to nothing. He refuses all his meals outright (even dumped his dinner on the floor at one point), and even refuses desserts. Over the course of a day, I can convince him to eat maybe a handful of crackers, and a few glasses of milk or juice (if it's on the run...he hates to sit at the table). I've even tried letting him take his dinner plate and eat other places (like the toddler table, in his room, etc, even though that's a no-no at our house). Nothing is working, and he's grouchy all the time.

He had a doctor visit today, and there's nothing physically wrong at all. I've been keeping a log, and yesterday he ate 3 animal crackers and a small bowl of popcorn over the course of the day. (Trust me, I offer healthy options, but at this point, I'm happy to see him eat anything.) Should I go buy pediasure and give up on table foods? That almost seems like a step backward toward baby foods again. Thoughts?

 

[karenTX]

I have a preemie who is also VERY picky about what she eats. Every so often she eats great then 2-3 days of crackers or something like that. So I know what you are dealing with!! Her doctor has her on Pediasure instead of milk at most meals. It's basically a high calorie meal replacement shake for kids. You could try that, it works for us. DD drinks 2-3 cans a day and whole milk the rest if the time. Hope that helps! Good luck!!

 

[surfgirl]

I remember having kids with off days (many it seemed in a row) and my doctor said, 'as long as they are peeing and pooping, they are fine'. Kids' bodies know what they need. Obviously, if this goes on for a long time, then I would be concerned...

what did your dr say ?

I would be careful about 'breaking' the rules... because once he's figured out how he can eat wherever *he* wants to eat, then he will go on eating strikes until you let him break the rules.

 

[belle&beast]

I found that my kids did much better at a child size table when they reached 2. It was a struggle to keep them in a high chair or in a booster at the table, so I moved the kids table to our dining room and they ate there. I am a speech therapist and work with preschoolers. One of the occupational therapists told me that she recommends kid sized tables for a number of reasons: 1. It gives them control they are so desperate to find at that age, 2. It gives them stability- by being able to put their feet on the floor, kids can organize sensory input, 3. They feel "big" and are more like the grown ups. This is what worked best for us when they decided to run around and ignore meals.

 

[wrldpossibility]

Thanks guys! Keep the ideas coming. I agree about not breaking rules. He will manipulate us that way. We are generally really consistant, and it works well for us, but I'm just so darn worried that nothing is going in his mouth! I will try to put him at his toddler table for meals, and see if that works. Our doctor suggested replacing liquids with pediasure (which is what one of you suggested, thank you), since he is only in the 20th percentile. His doc wasn't too concerned though. I mostly took him in to rule out any other problem like a sinus infection or ear infection. I'll try these ideas, and try not to worry!

 

[katie111]

My son is now 3. At about your son's age we had him tested for all kinds of things (allergies, celiac disease, etc) and everything came up negative. He's just a really bad eater & has been ever since he went on solids. All of the specialists we met with suggested pediasure. He's been on it since, about 3 cans a day instead of regular milk. It just gives him the nutrition he needs and some calories. Other than that, I just try to make every bite count. That means I try to get as many calories into each bite, i.e. I put lots of butter, oil, etc on anything he eats. I also pretty much feed him all of his meals. He just really has no interest in eating but if I sit down with him on my lap I can get him to eat. For some odd reason, he seems to do much better eating at restaurants than at home. I also just pretty much just feed him what he wants to eat...lots of pasta, mac & cheese, hot dogs, waffles. And I give him 3 meals a day, he eats at least a little at each meal. He seems to have no interest in snacks, even junk food. Of course if your son is not underweight then you probably don't want to load up the calories too much. I also feel like my son is grumpy a lot! I think maybe because he's hungry but he just doesn't seem to make the connection. Keep trying, hopefully its just a short phase for you.

 

[PaMom001]

Your little one may also be sensing that you're starting to get stressed over him not eating. Kids won't starve themselves. He'll eat when he's ready.

 

[stacy6552]

Ohhhhh I feel your pain. Here's what helped in our home (though at 7 hes still not a good eater. Dont serve him anything special, just whatever you are giving the family. Make him take one "no thank you" bite (this works more as he gets older). No dessert or snacks unless he eats all his meal. He cant leave the table untl everyone else does. If he's hungry enough he'll eat. if he doesnt eat he will be hungry later and regret it.

 

[lizally]

I understand what you are going through because I have 2 very picky eaters! They live on bananas, dry cereal, and chef boyardee! It doesn't seem very healthy, but at least they are eating something, so that's what I give them. It sure does seem like taking steps backward. When they first started on solids, they would try all kinds of food! They loved green beans, and now despise them. They even refuse hot dogs now!

Luckily my girls love milk, but want nothing to do with the pediasure. I also make them smoothies out of vanilla yogurt, frozen fruit, and apple juice. They love those and it seems healthy. Would your son drink one of those? They are very sweet and tasty.

I do agree about feeding them whatever we eat, but I try to put at least one "sure bet" on their plates too. Sometimes they don't eat any of it, but at least they drink some milk!

I did notice that if I don't offer something they used to like for a few days, they are more likey to try it when I do offer it again. For instance, they started to refuse mac & cheese, so I didn't offer it for a week. When I did, they actually ate it. Of course, that only lasted one night...

Good luck!

 

[tjmw2727]

Your little one may also be sensing that you're starting to get stressed over him not eating. Kids won't starve themselves. He'll eat when he's ready.

That is what I was going to say - BTDT so try and relax, its OK, its a stage its developmental and it has some meaning for him. Kids are self regulating and will eat when they need to. Offer small healthy meals and snacks 4-6x a day. If he is only eating a bit then make it count by offering things that are ok with you.

IMHO if he is healthy I would hold off on the pediasure, this will just backstep him into drinking his meals when you want to be moving forward with eating meals. I would also offer milk at the end of the meal if your wanting him to eat more solids and table foods. Also as a pp mentioned don't stress, he won't starve and he will feed off your want to have him eat. Try switching from a highchair to a booster and maybe let him have a snack in a regular chair. I wouldn't change the way you do mealtime, ie allowing TV or feeding him to get him to eat as he will come to expect it, almost like a reward for not eating.

Toddlers are wanting to get some control and independance. I would serve him a small plate with 2-3 different items at each meal at least one of which you know he likes. I would make the servings very small and then offer more of something if necessary.

Good luck and let us know how its going

TJ

 

[wrldpossibility]

Thanks for all the advice. I don't think we have a problem with allergies or celiac, because he doesn't get allergic reactions or chronic sickness (like celiac) from eating. I serve him the same food everyone else has, including a "sure bet" (I like how you phrased that). It's just frustrating that he's refusing his "sure bets" now too. I used to get him to eat chic nuggets (vegetarian kind), string cheese, or yogurt for sure, but now he's shaking his head to that too. He's recently learned "NO" and is enjoying making liberal use of it.

He's been in a booster chair for a long time, since he climbed out of the high chair early. I put him at the toddler table tonight and he ate three bites of a plain cheese quesadilla, and one bite of rice. The rest of us ate enchiladas and rice, so I did make him something kind of special, but it was on hand, and I knew the enchiladas would not go over well.

Then he drank a cup of milk before bed. I guess that's not terrible...and I do know he won't starve himself. Thanks for the encouragement. He is small for his age, and it does worry me. And it's no fun opening containers and slicing fruit just to have him refuse it! One ironic note: during his bedtime story there was a picture of a bundle of grapes, and he got really excited and ran to the fridge...but we don't have any. Ugh!

 

[toesmom]

He'll eat if he is hungry. If my little guy is not really hungry, he will just refuse something. But if he is hungry, he will wolf down whatever I feed him. Try that. good luck

 

[Schmeck]

Make sure the picky eaters get a daily multi-vitamin in there too, although it's always better to get it by a food source. There are nutrients that the brain and body need to function properly. A very grumpy child can be telling you that there's a vitamin deficiency problem, as well as a protein deficiency.

 

[brymolmom]

Man - this is a tough one - especially after an illness you're so concerned about giving them 'energy' that we parents usually do let the rules slide a little (or a lot!), in the interest of helping them get better.

Now that he is better - like some pp's I too would try my best to refrain from the rules sliding...It will be tough to break him of any bad habits from during the sickness, but decide what you and your family's 'rules' should be and try to stick to it.

If you think that he should be sitting at a table for meals - make him do it or use your disciplining method to enforce it. (a friend of mine uses a timer and has the 15 minute rule -- his twins have to sit at the table until the timer goes off - a good idea if you're interested in trying it). As for food - we have one (out of two) picky eater and we do have her eat our dinner with us - but we always have something there that we know she likes - grapes, apple slices, etc. If we're having something I know she doesn't like - sometimes I'll offer one slice of bread with butter or yogurt as another option. For my own peace of mind - I have no desire for her to learn now that she can get other meals prepared for her. Who knows how long she would want that to continue? But we also don't force it (much) - because the last thing we want to do is make mealtimes stressful.

As a former VERY picky eater as a child I can tell you that I hated dinnertime for many, many years and to this day i think that's the reason I do not like a lot of 'meat and potatoes' type meals. I am hoping that my strategy will help my dd be a little different as she gets older.

But definitely work with your doctor on this - you obviously have to abandon your rules if it is having a negative impact on your child's health. If your ped. says he's healthy- I say that YOU say what goes...not go by what he wants.

Best of luck!

 

[Boncho]

When my son was younger, he started going through a picky stage. I started giving him a choice of three things (I decided what the choices were) and he could decide which of these things we would have for lunch but I decided what we had for supper. I think it made him feel as though he had some control over what he got to eat - his picky stage didn't last very long at all.
He knew if I had to eat what he wanted at lunch, he had to eat what I wanted at supper. Breakfast was never an issue. Good luck.

 

[disneyohana]

My dd has always been petite and not a big eater. It wasn't until her weight percentile compared to everything else was really low that the doctor tried giving her allergy medicine to help her appetite. It worked. She eats a lot better when she is on it. I had the same problem with her not eating her favorite foods. I would make her four to five different things just so she would eat. That was insane. We tried pediasure which worked for a while, then she didn't want that. So we have to keep her on the allergy meds. Oh well. Good luck.

 

[disnutt]

As long as there is no other medical problem just keep offering the healthy stuff. At that age there is a lot to do that is more interesting than eating! (I can't believe it myself!) Kids will eat when they're hungry enough. They will soon learn that if they wait just a little longer you'll bring out the 'good' stuff and be happy to see them eat it.

I know this from allowing my 1st DD to manipulate me. She's now 10 and is the pickiest eater of my 3 kids. I'm still living w/ the consequences.

 

[Robmom]

My DS (18 mo) can be picky. I was so happy when he started table food. He was eating ok, but stopped eating fruits and vegetables. I realized that he really needed to be eating these things, so I had to revert back to baby food. Now he's eating veggies and fruits along with the table food. Let him eat whatever he will eat.

 

[shady]

My first did the same thing. Almost to the T.

We cut milk out of his diet completely and voila! It was almost overnight, he started wolfing down all foods. If you try it, just make sure you give him other sources of calcium etc that he'll stop getting.

 

[NotUrsula]

Up until very recently, DS was essentially a non-eater. He's nearly 5 ft. tall and very lean, but strong as an ox. DH used to worry himself sick and get into battles trying to get him to eat more, but since he was always strong and active, I took the tack that if he didn't want it, forcing him would only make him defiant and give him bad associations with certain foods (which was true, and which we are still dealing with years later.) At 9, he is just beginning to develop a real appetite, and gets positively piggy when faced with favorite foods (the kid could easily eat his weight in crab!)

Really, kids need very little food to get by; a couple of tablespoons may be plenty on a day when they are not burning a lot of calories. It is important to be sure that they get enough liquids, and before age 2 they do need fat in the diet -- whole milk will usually cover those bases. However, kids who really like milk will sometimes fill up on it, so be careful giving it between meals if you want him to eat at table.

There is one caveat to using the strategy of leaving out healthy food and assuming that he will eat when he is hungry -- kids sometimes don't realize that hunger pangs can be stopped by eating. Especially after a gastric illness, they may refuse to eat because they associate tummy pain with getting sick, and not be able to tell the difference between a hunger pang and a nauseous stomachache. If you hear the growlies, you may have to work on making the connection between hunger and food.

DS has some sensory issues, and one thing that worked well with him was to emphasize that food that smelled good to him would almost always taste good, too -- it encourages trying. As I also have sensory issues, I know that changing the preparation in order to change the texture will also sometimes work. For instance, I eat almost no cooked green vegetables, but I can eat most of them raw. (An exception for me is cruciferous green vegetables; I find the smell of them totally intolerable; even raw, so they don't even come into my kitchen.)