OT-What to do? Send preschooler to school or not?? HELP!

[jboysen]

Here is my 2 cents. My DD is 34 1/2 mos old she will be 3 on Oct 20th. She had her first day of preschool today and loved it She didn't want to leave. She will be going Th/Fr from 9-11:30 each week. My suggestion is to point out to your DH all the different valueble lessons your DS will be getting at a preschool than at home w/ Grandma and Grandpa. I'm a stay at home mom, so I know that even though you may try and keep routine going it is very easy to break it. As far as keeping him back a year because he may be too young. My husband is currently going for his school Admin License and is half way through his Doctorate in Education and he says studies are showing the trends to be starting kids early rather than holding them back. Besides, kids still get the opprotunity to be kids in preschool, it is just more structured and they have fun in more of a learning envionment. Learning can be FUN

 

[fortheboys]

Hello! From my experience, I would send him to preschool. My son was in a similar situation, being cared for my husband and grandparents during the day, and we opted to send him to preschool last year(he was 3 going on 4), He is attending preschool again this year, 3 half days a week. I am also a teacher, with a masters in Elem. Education.

Preschool is so much more than learning their letters and number etc. Its so important for children to learn how to interact with other children, how to learn in a group setting and how to function away from the family unit (parents or grandparents). Some of the skills they teach in preschool, such as letters and numbers take more time than you would ever imagine to really comprehend, and with kindergarden becoming more and more academic, there is less and less time for the teachers to play catch up with students that don't have a firm background. For kindergarden teachers, what is more fustrating than lack of academic background, is lack of social skills in a kindergardener. If they can't sit still, interact appropriately with their peers or work in a group, then they need to 1st work on those skills before "real" learning begins. Unfortunately, for us moms of boys, these are skills that our DS's tend to lag behind in due to good ol' mother nature

Best of luck with your decision!

 

[MSSANDRA]

Preschool director here.. I did not send my DS at 3 ( I was SAHM) just because I wanted another year with him.
He was still so ready for Kindergarten with one year of a good preschool. I would base my decission on the chance there would be an opening next year or not. If there is a good chance he will not get in then I would put him in, otherwise I would give him that one last year at home.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

He will never in his life have the opportunity to spend that time with his grandparents, again. He will have a lifetime of school and work. There is plenty of time to do the same old preschool stuff.

 

[imthatgirl]

i wouldnt send him. all of my kids have done the 1 year of pre K and then to k. and even at that they only do 2 days of pre K a week for 2 1/2 hours. im not a big fan of sending them early.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I would send him. I am a SAHM and I sent my kids to 3's preschool. Not for the acedemics, but for the social aspect. I could teach them what they would learn in preschool but I couldn't teach the social aspect. Think of how much more fun it will be for him to be with kids his own age. He will get to make new friends , play with all sorts of new toys, do art projects, learn songs , learn rules, circle times where he has to to sit still and pay attention. It's not everyday so he isn't loosing his "baby" qualitys but is gaining some independece. All my kids loved it and I bet if you give him a chance he will too. Just my opinion

Ditto this reply! (only my kids are 9,7, and 3)

 

[dougsmom98]

He will never in his life have the opportunity to spend that time with his grandparents, again. He will have a lifetime of school and work. There is plenty of time to do the same old preschool stuff.

I totally agree with this. I also think that you made your decision earlier and you shouldn't second guess it.

 

[miprender]

i wouldnt send him. all of my kids have done the 1 year of pre K and then to k. and even at that they only do 2 days of pre K a week for 2 1/2 hours. im not a big fan of sending them early.

ITA, I think these poor children are being pushed too early. DH is a 7th grade math teacher and the kids he are getting are actually learning less from Elementary school than they were just a few years ago.

Your DS will only get one chance to be young, my mom and mil babysit one day each week and that is what they will remember.

My DD5 just started Kindergarten last week after going to PreK two days a week and she is doing fine.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[justhat]

I would without a doubt send him to preschool this year. He's nearly 4yo, right? I think that's old enough that they enjoy more than just playdates or informal socialization with other kids. They really like the structure preschool offers and being part of a group. Both of my kids are in preschool right now and they love it. My 2yo son started Monday and is running up to his teachers to hug them as soon as we arrive. He's never away from my husband or I, other than school, so I think that it offers him the great opportunity to realize that he's okay without us around and how to follow group direction.

I don't really look at preschool as preparation for school at his age, but as a chance to take steps towards becoming an independent person and developing your own interests. At school my son loves to help make snack and set/clear the snack table. Sure, he could do this at home, but honestly, how often are young kids offered that opportunity? I know that it never occured to me to ask him if he wants to slice cheese or strawberries, but he loves doing it at school.

At home, and I'm a SAHM, I feel that his interests are somewhat dictated by what I guide him towards. Not intentionally as he has free reign of toys, but say, I help him wash his hands, make his meals, put him on the potty, etc. That limits what he can do for himself, simply cause I look at him as my baby, not capable of doing 'big kid things'. At school he does these things on his own and it makes him proud to be able to learn and perfect new skills. He was thrilled to come home and show me how he can get the stool and climb onto the potty himself.

And I think the same applies to what interests them. The preschool will have different toys/books/crafts than you and your in-laws. He'll get a wider variety of stuff to choose from and can pick what interests him most. Plus he'll have the added benefit of not only being with your in-laws, who I am sure love him dearly, but also your mom as well. I think the memories with her as equally as important and he'll probably like spending the time with her. And he'll still have 4 full days a week to be a 'baby', no worries there.

And lastly, with a son who loves Spongebob, I have to say, I really wouldn't want my 4yo watching it all day. And I know just how many times a day that show is on, it's insane! So if it came down to Spongebob or preschool, I'd go with the school.

 

[weesignlanguage]

Hey guys! Thanks for all the responses! If you've read all the posts, then you can see my dilemma is expressed in every post on here! ARGH! I have taught in school (special ed) for almost 12 years and the "teacher" side of me is really what is pulling me towards the preschool. However, I am a big family person and I love and respect my dh and his parents. So then I get tugged to the other side.

After letting the idea soak in last night and today, dh and I discussed it again. DH's parents are older than mine by about 10 years and dh's dad is a diabetic and is not in good shape. Literally everyday we see him get a little weaker and decline a little more. Bottom line w/ dh is that he wants ds to be with his parents for the rest of this year...it's not a $ issue but rather a "quality time" issue w/ grandparents. I think my dh is realizing that his father is not going to be around alot longer and that we will regret not allowing our son to spend time w/ him when he could have....does that make sense??

After some thought and prayer, we have decided to keep to our original plan of not sending ds to school till next year. I told dh today that I am letting him make the call this year but that next year I get to make the call....no questions asked and he was fine with that. So next year he will go to this school...there should not be a problem getting him in next year according to my mom.

Also, in our conversation, I told dh that I really want HIM to let his mom know that we want to start preparing ds for his year of preschool (his mom knows that this is their last year w/ him) and that we want her to help. I bought a bunch of workbooks (glue/cutting, numbers, letters, preschool concepts, etc.) and so I told dh that I am going to make him a folder to take to meme's house and that I want his mom to work on a couple of these a day. No big deal in my opinion. DH agreed that he loved that idea and that HE would take the folder to his mom and get her excited about "helping teach" our son. She's a smart and sweet woman and I know she will do fine with this. That makes me feel a "little" better. Like I said, I really think ds will be fine w/ one year of preschool before kindergarten but it would have been great to get the extra year. If he can get some concepts under his belt w/ his grandmother than I am satisfied w/ that.

As for the social aspect, I do think it is realllllly important...believe me, I see special ed kids that need this everyday. However, ds is in church every Wednesday, Sunday morning, and Sunday night. My dh is a children's minister so we are ALWAYS there...lol! He gets alot of structured classroom type socialization here. Now granted there aren't 10-15 kids in his class but there are usually 4 or 5 his age. They do art projects, listen to stories and music each week. So, he is getting "some" socialization and also learning to follow directions. If we weren't as active in church as we are, I would DEFINITELY be pushing the preschool opportunity this year with dh.

Hope this all makes sense! It is sooooo great to have online support like y'all gave me....I appreciate it so much and want to thank everyone for lending me their wisdom.

Oh yeah...and for the gal from Bon Secour...HI!! The school is in Fairhope at First Baptist Church of Fairhope...it's called the Learning Tree! It's great!! You are RIGHT that there is not much at all to offer our kiddos in Foley...sad, huh?? I keep telling my dh (remember he's the children/family minister) that our church needs to start a preschool but I'm afraid we have church members that aren't quite keen on this idea....argh! I will tell you this if you work or are willing to drive to Gulf Shores...there are some good preschools in that area....my friend who has a 2.5 year old is very happy w/ her dd's school in Orange Beach. My only problem is that I drive the OPPOSITE way b/c I teach in Daphne so F'hope is a much better "middle ground" for my family plus my mom/dad live there. Anywho....great to meet ya!! PM me anytime! Who knows....we may know each other!

 

[sk!mom]

My DD12 did not go to preschool at all. She stayed with her beloved Memaw until Kindergarten. She has breezed through school and is now an AP 7th grader.

I will say that my mom did a homeschool program with her starting at 3 and read to her. I read to her and did fun learning in the evenings and in the summer. She has a very active mind that we had to keep busy.

To me a loving nuturing environment was the number one concern for those early years.

Would your inlaws be willing to include some educational activities if you provided them?

 

[NEDisneyFans]

My first thought upon reading your post was to wonder if your DH has any issues with your parents or concerns in having your son spend solo time with them? If not, this sounds like a wonderful time to expand your son's world!

He will never in his life have the opportunity to spend that time with his grandparents, again.

I agree -- and for this reason I encourage you to let your son have quality time with BOTH sets of grandparents.

My suggestion is that you let your son try out the new school/schedule for the fall term. If it works, continue through the Spring and he'll have a spot for next year. If it doesn't work, go back to the status quo.

It sounds like your DS has a wonderful relationship with both his father and paternal grandparents. The new schedule would give him a transition between home & school, as well as a chance to build memories with his other grandparents.

 

[Benducci]

Personally I would do the pre-k - there is alot he can learn PLUS he would get the time with one set of grandparents PLUS time with his other grandmother - how can this be bad?

 

[weesignlanguage]

Well, I took my ds to my parents' house today b/c dh had things to do on his day off and usually he keeps ds on Friday. When I dropped ds off at my parents' house, I broke the news to mom about dh not going for the Prek idea.

She was a bit disappointed and said that she was really hoping to spend more time w/ ds. I told her she can have him ANY DAY she wants. She seemed better after that. Up until recently, she has kept my brother's son so she hasn't always been able to do this but now that she is truly retired (she was a teacher then kept my nephew) she is hoping to be w/ my ds more. My father feels the same way but he is gone lots b/c we have a river house a few hours from here and he goes fishing, hunting, etc. alot.

Well...when I came back by to pick up ds this afternoon, she asked me if I thought dh might consider letting him go after Christmas if there was an opening then. When my mom originally asked the director at the school about openings, she seemed to give her the impression that he could start mid-year and they would have a spot for him. She is going to talk to her again when she picks my nephew up for my sis-in-law next week. I told mom to see if that would be an option and that I would talk to dh.

When I got home a bit ago, dh asked how my mom took the news and I told her she was disappointed and that she had mentioned that maybe we could think about starting him after the holidays. I about !! Dh said that would be GREAT! I asked if he was sure and he said yeah! That way he could give his parents fair warning that is coming and give him a little more time w/ ds before having to "cut the cord." I called my mom and told her to get w/ the director to see if starting in January would be a possibility and she said she'd take care of it! So...it is a very big possibility that ds may start preschool in January!! Whoo hoo!! If it doesn't pan out then we will start looking at preparations for that school or another school for next year. Still...I feel good about the compromise that we made...all of that and we didn't argue one bit!! Now that is pretty dern good!

 

[I_Know_You2!]

Nice happy medium! Yeah for your family!

 

[marcyinPA]

I would send him. I am a SAHM and I sent my kids to 3's preschool. Not for the acedemics, but for the social aspect. I could teach them what they would learn in preschool but I couldn't teach the social aspect. Think of how much more fun it will be for him to be with kids his own age. He will get to make new friends , play with all sorts of new toys, do art projects, learn songs , learn rules, circle times where he has to to sit still and pay attention. It's not everyday so he isn't loosing his "baby" qualitys but is gaining some independece. All my kids loved it and I bet if you give him a chance he will too. Just my opinion

I'm a preschool teacher, and I agree with this~ I think kids gain alot from being with other adults and children, besides their own parents and siblings. There are many things that the children in my class will do when they are with me and my co-teacher and the children that they absolutely will not do when their parents are around. Our parents are AMAZED at what their own children learn at pre-school and what we get them to do!! (I teach 2's, btw, and our parents are in awe when they see their kids painting and playing and socializing on their own!)

 

[holly7347]

If this is a good school that can be hard to get into I would put him in now to make it easier to get him a spot next year. I tried to get my oldest into a certain local preschool for 2 years and she was on the waiting list each year and never got in. With my second DD we tried getting her in at age 2 instead of age 3. She was put on the waiting list but did make it in just before the start of the school year. And since she was a current student we had no problems getting her into a 3 year old class the next year since current students got to enroll before new students. So if the school you are looking at is hard to get into and this opening is a fluke I would totally jump on the chance.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I am glad it is working out for everyone! I also want to add it seems you and your DH have good communication skills and respect for each other.

 

[lisadr]

I am so glad for you . It's great you were able to find a win-win solution for everybody!

 

[happy_redhead]

Glad it worked out for everyone....

I found preschool to be a wonderful experience for all of us.

It also made the first day of Kindergarten much easier. While some kids were hanging on to their parents and wailing...both of my boys walked into their classes, found their cubby, stashed their bookbag, found their seat and started coloring! Basically the same routine they had at preschool. They were happy and secure knowing I wasn't leaving them there for eternity, just a few hours with some new friends and I'd be back to take them home. They're in the 3rd and 5th grades now and both enjoy school.