OT~ What do you working moms do when your kids are sick?(long one)

[ampc3]

ok, First a great big to all you working moms that have small kids... I had one of those moments today that I never thought of before.

I am a sahm,and for almost a month now someone is my house has been sick!
It started a week before Halloween with my oldest getting strep she was out of school for a week, then my ds missed a day of school with a cold then my dh was sick for over a week with some mystery virus (he missed the whole week of work) Now my youngest is sick with the same virus it seems ,going on 10 days and missed the whole week of pre school..

So this morning I had a job interview (trying to find something pt, whole different topic) but had to cancel and not sure they can reschedule me.
So it occured to me that what if I had a job outside of the house? What would I be doing this past month with everyone being sick? We don't have any family where we live so that wouldn't be an option and my hubby just missed a week of work due to his illiness so that would not have been an option either..

So what do all you working moms/parents do when your little ones are sick? I would imagine this to be a very stressful time in your households when this happens..

Now I could have sent my older kids to school sick I suppose if I had to being a public school , but I wasn't forced to make that decision. But my youngest preschool is very strict with this stuff and there is noway I can send her with even the slightest signs of an illiness. I also imagine day cares to be strict?

I can't imagine having any employer being ok with calling in to work for almost a month saying their kids are sick, even calling in a few days every week... So again to you all , what do you do?I can't even imagine the stress this must cause in your lives when this happens!

ps.. please keep this on topic I don't want this to turn into any debate about working mom vs stay at home etc!

 

[mom23boys]

I am a SAHM (I do work 12 hours a week while they are in school) but I did work full time then part time when my oldest two boys were young.

It was really hard to make a descision to stay home if they were sick, I felt guilty for calling out of work (and I felt my bosses did not understand) and I felt guilty for sending them to daycare if they were not feeling good (just sniffles, not a fever or throwing up).

I finally quit working to be a SAHM when my middle son had so many ear infections and after tubes still had them. It was not worth the money, I was paying daycare when he was not there but not paid by me employer because I was part time.

I am glad I do not have to make those descisions, but many of my friends and my DSis' have to and I know it is hard.

 

[Princess Roo]

Most daycares take kids when they are somewhat sick (sniffles, cough) but not if they have a fever or have thrown up/diarrhea in the last 24 hours. I think when DS has a cold, he's actually happier at daycare than home, because he's more distracted there. (Now that he's older...it was a lot harder to leave him with a cold when he was less than a year and just wanted to be cuddled.) The downside, though, is they catch more colds from other kids until their immune system beefs up.

The only family that we have in town has small children, too, so that's not an option for care when DS is sick. Basically, DH and I need to take turns staying home with him. I'm in a similar situation to what you would have in that we only have DS in daycare part time. So, some of our illnesses do fall when I'm not working. Others fall when DH can take a half-day off work instead of a full day, etc. It also sounds like you've had a really "unlucky" month of illness and it doesn't tend to go that way (For example, I don't think DH or I have EVER had to take a full week off being sick, and if that hadn't happened presumably your DH could have stayed home for a half-day for you to go to your interview.). Plus, you may find that you and DH go to work a little sicker than you normally would, knowing that you need to save some sick days for the kids' illnesses.

 

[flipflop]

When our kids went to a sitter, she would take them semi-sick. DH and I would take turns taking the one or two days off necesarry to get the sickies to the doctor. Because we have three the same age, sickness often comes in waves - DD sick, two days later DS sick, etc. We now have an au pair and that is working out a lot better. We still take time for Dr. visits but unless they have a stomache virus, we don't need to take any other days.

 

[Darcy03231]

My daycare provider would take my children as long they weren't throwing up or had diarrea (sp). If they were I would stay home with them until DH got home and then I would go in the office and work my 8 hours (luckily I work for a small office and could to this).

 

[mikymouse]

My DH & I take turns. I am very lucky with a understanding boss and portable work that can be done at home if necessary so that helps too. My older children do not get sick very often and I think the early years of day care gave them super germ fighting powers.

 

[linda0706]

Fortunately we've never had an extended illness with my DD7 (more than 4 days or so) but here's what we do if it's more than 1 day:

We split the day. DH goes in the morning & leaves at lunchtime. As soon as he gets home I go to work in the afternoon. (and can stay late if needed to get my work done) I think both employers appreciate it because neither is left high & dry for more than 1/2 day.

If you get into weeks at a time, I really don't know how we'd handle that. I hope we never have to figure it out!

 

[NotUrsula]

You take sick time off, and tag-team with your spouse as much as possible.

 

[Mkrop]

I went throught his before I finally had to quit my job. I worked PT but my bosses were not very understanding. My mom watched the kids but there were many times, my mom would get sick, then the kids, and then me. DH would take off if he could but he was the primary breadwinner and his job is in sales so many times clients wont reschedule so it fell on me to take off. One time I got called into my bosses office bc I had called out sick. DS had the stomach virus, my mom got it from him etc. So my boss told me I should have a backup, I said I normally do but 1) I really dont think it is fair to dump a vomiting, feverous child on my best friend, and 2) best friend happened to have back surgery that week. And believe I wasnt one to call out all the time and MOST times my mom would take them if the kids were sick. I just had enough esp after that last comment so DH and I started making plans for me to stay home. I really dont know how people do it btw Drs who dont have evening hours, to kids being sick, to inservice days, to 2 hour delays or complete snow days. I am wondering about how I will do it in a 2 years when we thought I would go back.

 

[ampc3]

I know that is exactly what I am thinking now.. it has been dificult to find something that is flexiable opposit my hubbys shifts.. So I thought once my youngest goes full time to school in 2years, then it won't matter what my Dh shifts are b/c I can just work 9-2 while they are all in school. But then I started thinking about what to do when they are off from school, summers ,sick etc... This is so stressful I don't know how families manage when they do have frequent Illinesses. Some must have really understanding bosses, but I am sure not all! I guess working in a school district (but I am not a teacher)would be the best situation..
Thanks to all you replied

 

[SandrainNC]

Sometimes I stay home with whoever is sick and sometimes DH stays home. DH can actually work from home sometimes, so he doesn't always have to use a sick day. We usually take turns on who stays. It is taking some getting used to now that we have two. One will get sick and get better and then the other one catches it.

Sandra

 

[Caitsmama]

I own my own gift shop, in our lil' town, so if dd was ever really sick, i could close for a day or two, or whatever. I have made it clear from day 1 that my dd is my #1 priority. PERIOD. I know i am lucky in that aspect, i work, but i work for myself.

 

[storzo]

My DH and I take turns taking off when the kids are sick and out of school. I don't keep them home unless they are REALLY sick...fever, throwing up, fatigued, uncontrollable cough. They don't stay home for a belly ache or sneeze.

We are allowed to use our sick time if any family member is ill and we need to care for them. When DS's appendix ruptured and was in the hospital for a week and home for another we each took a week.

 

[crisi]

As was said, they are seldom sick enough for long enough - when they have the sniffles or a mild cough - they go to daycare. Only if they have a fever above 100, diaherria, vomiting or a really bad cough, or you suspect strep do they need to stay home.

Even with that, there is a time when you have sick kids a lot. My daughter was prone to ear infections. One thing you do is quickly get kids to the doctor - if its something that can be cleared by antibiotics.

We tag teamed, had my mother watch kids. Both my husband and I have the luxury to work from home, so we usually just do that now if the kids are ill. That was much harder when they were smaller. When I accepted my job I explained to my boss that my income was the secondary one and we had small kids, so I might be out a lot - he still hired me and he was always fine with it - though my husband or mother will take one day in three (I've since taken a new role, but all my bosses have been very supportive).

 

[Princess Roo]

For those of you concerned about care during teacher in service days and school vacations, I know a lot of the day care centers around here run "camps" during those days for kids. The ones at our daycare have a theme (for the week-long ones) that ends in a field trip and seem to be really fun for the kids. You can sign up even if you don't normally use the center for before- and after-school care.

 

[LilGMom]

You take sick time off, and tag-team with your spouse as much as possible.

Yep. It helps if you have an understanding boss/job but even then there might be times where you either are having to go in early or stay late to make up the time/work, you use your available sick/vacation time or you just don't get paid for the days you have to miss.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I'm a single mom. (no tag teaming here )

When my son was younger, I'd use sick days or vacation days to stay home with him. If I was out of days, I took the time off without pay.

 

[emma'smom]

Tag-team with DH when he is in town...when he is out of town, I have to work from home (which isn't as efficient, but at least I'm not off-line completely) and sometimes I will take her back to daycare and beg for mercy if she doesn't have a temperature and hasn't really been acting sick (but maybe vomited the day before).

I've only had a few times when DH has been out of town and I have HAD to work, but those days have been very, very stressful! I really appreciate how difficult it must be for single moms without family support on a daily basis.

 

[I believe]

Yikes, that is a lot of illness. I would try and get my kids to be sure they aren't drinking from their siblings cups and that they wash their hands more and longer especially before they eat at school. I definitely have to stay home when my kids are sick too, my work is a little more flexible than my husbands work. You are right, it is reallhy hard when I have to stay home - no matter how sick they are - as not everyone has kids and understands. Because of this I really focus on getting them to keep their hands clean trying to stop them from picking these things up in the first place.

 

[barkley]

tag teaming can work well unless you or dh work any distance from home-then it can be almost impossible. when both of us were working, since we had over an hour's drive each-one of staying home in the morning would have meant that the other taking off at lunch would'nt have been home till 1-which meant the 'a.m. person' would'nt have gotten into work until 2, only to turn around and leave at 4:30 which was'nt terribly effective.

some jobs will let you adjust hours, neither mine nor dh's would-and we could'nt use vacation or other time to cover sick days for us or the kiddos. if we used our sick leave up and went into a.w.o.p status we ran the chance of getting a negative comment on our employee evaluations. i had to do the same to my former peers when i went into supervision-did'nt like it, but it was the employer's policy. so it's not always up to an individual boss or supervisor.

because i had 2 kids who were both prone to ear infections and such when they were little i ended up having my pediatrician fill out the paper work for fmal-that way any absences in excess of my sick leave accruals but under the 12 weeks per year could'nt reflect negativly on me.

we were also in the 'boat' of having no family that could help out (and ALL our vacation and float holdiays were used to cover holiday breaks, minimum days and teacher in-service days each year-summer breaks were done via summer sessions in day care-which ran about twice the normal daycare fees ).

one thing to keep in mind if you do work and use daycare-most do not give any reduction or decrease for days-even extended days missed by the kids due to illness (so if you go awop at work you are still going to be paying for the daycare the kids are'nt using).