Hi everyone,
This is so off topic, but I'm not sure how to handle it. Last weekend, my kids and I were shopping at a local store a little more than a mile from my house. While we were inside, a horrific crime happened in a store across the parking lot. I'm sure many of you heard about it because it was a top story. Five women were killed during a robbery.
Immediately after the shooting, police came into the store in which we were shopping and held all of us there. We knew very little other than that there had been a crime and that the police wanted to make sure no one entered or left the store we were in until the police could verify that the shooter was not amongst us.
Seeing police officers with huge guns at the ready is not a great experience on a Saturday morning. It was clear that the police were concerned the person they were seeking was inside the store.
When we were finally allowed to leave, we had to show our ID to the police (they recorded names and such), and then we were told to hurry to our cars and get out of the area. This was after we waited inside but in the front of the store for about 30 minutes. The shootings had happened an hour before by this point. It was only on my way out of the parking lot, when I saw my neighbor who is also a police officer, that I was told five people had been shot.
For the rest of the day, police helicopters flew over our house, looking for the suspect. They have not found him to date.
Both my boys visited the school psychologists at their schools. My younger son (age 8) was horribly frightened that the killer saw our car and will be able to find us (we drove through the parking lot at just about the time he would have entered the store). My oldest (age 10) has been afraid too, though he seems calmer than his brother probably because he understands the situation better.
Three days after the incident, the kids and I returned to the store we had been in during the incident, so they could see it's still there and still the same--though the police are across the parking lot at the site of the murders themselves of course. That helped my younger boy who had told me before he never wanted to return there again.
But I've been very stressed. I cannot sleep, and yesterday, I had a minor panic attack at work, for no real reason that I can tell--and I've never had panic attacks before. I'm surprised at how I've felt.
Do I just wait and assume things will get better? What is "normal"? The school psychologists told me my kids' reactions are within the normal range of what you'd expect after such an experience, and that's good.
I just think that I've spent so much of the early part of the week focused on my kids that now I'm having a delayed reaction to it. When should I not have a pit in my stomach? When will I be able to not think about what happened? I know you're not mental health experts, but I'm curious if you have any ideas about what would be normal for me? The kids seem to be doing better than I am at this point!
This is so off topic, but I'm not sure how to handle it. Last weekend, my kids and I were shopping at a local store a little more than a mile from my house. While we were inside, a horrific crime happened in a store across the parking lot. I'm sure many of you heard about it because it was a top story. Five women were killed during a robbery.
Immediately after the shooting, police came into the store in which we were shopping and held all of us there. We knew very little other than that there had been a crime and that the police wanted to make sure no one entered or left the store we were in until the police could verify that the shooter was not amongst us.
Seeing police officers with huge guns at the ready is not a great experience on a Saturday morning. It was clear that the police were concerned the person they were seeking was inside the store.
When we were finally allowed to leave, we had to show our ID to the police (they recorded names and such), and then we were told to hurry to our cars and get out of the area. This was after we waited inside but in the front of the store for about 30 minutes. The shootings had happened an hour before by this point. It was only on my way out of the parking lot, when I saw my neighbor who is also a police officer, that I was told five people had been shot.
For the rest of the day, police helicopters flew over our house, looking for the suspect. They have not found him to date.
Both my boys visited the school psychologists at their schools. My younger son (age 8) was horribly frightened that the killer saw our car and will be able to find us (we drove through the parking lot at just about the time he would have entered the store). My oldest (age 10) has been afraid too, though he seems calmer than his brother probably because he understands the situation better.
Three days after the incident, the kids and I returned to the store we had been in during the incident, so they could see it's still there and still the same--though the police are across the parking lot at the site of the murders themselves of course. That helped my younger boy who had told me before he never wanted to return there again.
But I've been very stressed. I cannot sleep, and yesterday, I had a minor panic attack at work, for no real reason that I can tell--and I've never had panic attacks before. I'm surprised at how I've felt.
Do I just wait and assume things will get better? What is "normal"? The school psychologists told me my kids' reactions are within the normal range of what you'd expect after such an experience, and that's good.
I just think that I've spent so much of the early part of the week focused on my kids that now I'm having a delayed reaction to it. When should I not have a pit in my stomach? When will I be able to not think about what happened? I know you're not mental health experts, but I'm curious if you have any ideas about what would be normal for me? The kids seem to be doing better than I am at this point!
I'm so sorry you had to go through something so scary. It's great that your kids have seen a professional and seem to be handling the situation within normal limits. It's normal for them to be afraid. It's important to continue listening, reassuring and resuming normal routines and activities. (I am a school psychologist! 
)
The cops are involved and I am waiting to go to Court for it.) The school staff can be a big help but don't be afraid to get additional help if you need it!
as I read your post. I'm in IL, too, so of course it's everywhere you look, tv, papers, radio etc. Gotta agree with everything that's already been said, too.
