OT-Tell me more about adoption

[shelby101301]

China mommy here. I used Bethany Christian Services which does International and domestic adoptions. If you have any questions about them, or the China process, please feel free to pm me.

 

[LoriMomx5]

We had 4 bio sons prior to adopting our daughter and the agency we used was open to placing her in our home. The birthmom did not wish to have any say in Hannah's placement because of her (birthmom's) circumstances. I hope that if she could have chosen a family for her daughter she would be pleased with us. Our Hannah is such as blessing and I think about her birth mom often hoping she is alright.

 

[Kimberly Hill]

Another bio/China mother here!

I photograph many adoptive families through Celebrating Adoption (celebratingadoption.org - my daughter's the middle child on the splash page) and love hearing the stories of my client families and meeting their children. Most are from South America and I've had one from Haiti and several domestic adoptions. No other China kids yet though!

 

[mom2kayzb & jakers]

Another Korean adoptive parent here!

I don't have to much to add to everyone else's good advice, but I do have a lot of our adoption story posted on our blog if you want to check it out:

www.theoadoption.blogspot.com

I think we may be "neighbors"!! What a small world!! I also have three kids adopted through Korea!

 

[KristinU]

Another Korean adoptive parent here!

I don't have to much to add to everyone else's good advice, but I do have a lot of our adoption story posted on our blog if you want to check it out:

www.theoadoption.blogspot.com

And I just sent you a PM - we're an adoptive family too - DS is Korean and also named Theo!!!

OP - lots of great info and thoughts already. One thing I want to tell you is that the internet is an awesome, awesome resource...but like everything on the net - you can't believe everything you read. We were always drawn to Korea (I had a few Korean adoptee friends growing up), but something I had read early on led me to believe that we couldn't adopt from Korea as residents of CT. So we started looking into China. We were at an open house of an agency we were looking at for China, and we learned by accident that indeed we could adopt from Korea after all (not that i'm not for Chinese adoptions - my gorgeous Goddughter was adopted from China).

Read as much as you can from the perspective of adult adoptees and on transracial adoption and toddler adoption if these are the routes you are considering. Lots of food for thought out there - digest it, but don't let it deter you or make you feel less capable of parenting your potential child.

Join forums, ask questions, and follow your heart. Adoption is a beautiful way to build a family!

 

[star sweeper]

My DS and DD (both 2) were born in Guatemala. It took us about 3 months to do our paperwork. We received referrals within another 2 months when both babies were about 2 weeks old. It took DS 8 months to have his adoption approved, but only 5.5 months for DD. DS was almost 9 months and DD was 6 months when they came home.

With any adoption, domestic or international, you need to research, research, research! Forums.adoption.com is a great board because it hosts discussions on a variety of adoption situations and countries for adoption, as well as, providing general information. Like other people posted, sit down and really think about what would work best for you. Does race matter? Infant, toddler, older child? Domestic versus international? Travel requirements? Waiting time? Open to foster-adopt? Once you do some intial research and answer these basic questions, you'll know which avenues look most promising for your family, and can research specifically on those avenues.

 

[disney_family_1247]

We are almost finished with our home study to adopt a newborn in our home state. We have three biological children and want one more to complete our family. We have both always been drawn to the idea of adoption to add to our family and give a family to a child in need. We are using a local non-profit agency to adopt a newborn of any race, which almost certainly means that our baby will be bi-racial or African-American (we are white). At least in our area, those are the babies that the agencies have more trouble placing. For the entire adoption, it will cost us about $9-10K. The adoption tax credit is about $11K.

In our state, the mom cannot terminate her rights before the baby is five days old. At that time, we will pick up our baby, and the parents cannot change their minds. The agency checks on you a few times over a six month period, and then the adoption is finalized.

Hope this helps!

 

[TandT]

We are almost finished with our home study to adopt a newborn in our home state. We have three biological children and want one more to complete our family. We have both always been drawn to the idea of adoption to add to our family and give a family to a child in need. We are using a local non-profit agency to adopt a newborn of any race, which almost certainly means that our baby will be bi-racial or African-American (we are white). At least in our area, those are the babies that the agencies have more trouble placing. For the entire adoption, it will cost us about $9-10K. The adoption tax credit is about $11K.

In our state, the mom cannot terminate her rights before the baby is five days old. At that time, we will pick up our baby, and the parents cannot change their minds. The agency checks on you a few times over a six month period, and then the adoption is finalized.

Hope this helps!

How does one get involved in a homestudy and what is the approx. cost?

 

[ERMama]

We asked around about opinions of local homestudy agencies. Picked one, told them we were interested in getting our dossier (paperwork) ready for Guatemala adoption. They called and told us what we needed to do. Cost a couple hundred bucks (varies greatly by state/area).

Our placement agency (we used a local homestudy place but chose an out of state adoption agency that would be doing all the work of finding our child, keeping us up to date on legal happenings) also helped us with paperwork.

Our adoption blog was....
www.adaughtertolove.blogspot.com

Weve since moved over to our family blog. www.fiestaof5.blogspot.com

 

[disney_family_1247]

In our case, we first researched local adoption agencies. Some were for-profit and charged outrageous fees (in our opinion). We chose the Volunteers of America program. I know that they don't do adoptions in all states, so you'd have to check with yours. We filled out an application (no fee) and had an initial meeting with the social worker. After looking over our paperwork and talking to us, she determined that we were good candidates to adopt through VOA. She then began the home study. That costs $1,500, the fee due at the time we get the baby will be $5,500, and when he/she is six months old, it will be $1,200 for finalization.

There are also social workers you can hire to complete a home study without using an adoption agency if you are going to find a birth mother yourself and hire an adoption attorney.

 

[crisi]

How does one get involved in a homestudy and what is the approx. cost?

You contact an adoption agency or a social worker licensed to do homestudies. Costs will vary state to state and agency to agency - we paid $3k for ours over 10 years ago, but I know other people who used other providers who paid less about the same time and still others who paid much more. It does not necessarily help to shop around - our agency would only take homestudies done by them, and they were the only agency in our state who had access to Korea as a choice. Pick your agency or method of adoption first (you may work through a lawyer or do a private adoption without an agency in many states), then do the homestudy that they need.

A homestudy will likely involve one or more home visits, perhaps writing an essay about yourself, getting references, probably a background check on you and everyone in your home, perhaps a workshop, probably getting a letter from your doctor.

 

[TandT]

You contact an adoption agency or a social worker licensed to do homestudies. Costs will vary state to state and agency to agency - we paid $3k for ours over 10 years ago, but I know other people who used other providers who paid less about the same time and still others who paid much more. It does not necessarily help to shop around - our agency would only take homestudies done by them, and they were the only agency in our state who had access to Korea as a choice. Pick your agency or method of adoption first (you may work through a lawyer or do a private adoption without an agency in many states), then do the homestudy that they need.

A homestudy will likely involve one or more home visits, perhaps writing an essay about yourself, getting references, probably a background check on you and everyone in your home, perhaps a workshop, probably getting a letter from your doctor.

How extensive to they look at your medical history? I have a heart condition which I am managing with medication.....hence the reason why I am interested in adoption..I cannot have my own children and would love to give a child a home who needs it. I do not necessarily need a newborn....I am open to a 2,3,4, or 5 year old...... THANKS!!!

Thank you for the info.....everyone!!!

 

[design_mom]

How extensive to they look at your medical history? I have a heart condition which I am managing with medication.....hence the reason why I am interested in adoption..I cannot have my own children and would love to give a child a home who needs it. I do not necessarily need a newborn....I am open to a 2,3,4, or 5 year old...... THANKS!!!

Thank you for the info.....everyone!!!

Different programs have different requirements. (It's possible that there might be some programs that would disqualify you or put you at a disadvantage due to a chronic condition. For instance, I think China is very strict.) However, as long as your doctor feels that your condition is well-managed and would not affect your ability to raise a child, I think you will be okay.

 

[Denine]

I'm sorry. I'm sitting here dumbfounded. You could have brought your baby home two weeks earlier but you decided to wait so you could take your vacation first.

Yep. everyone encouraged us to do it, including the social worker. It worked out great as we are still friends with those we cruised with.