OT some what- how would you handle this

[cheermom1]

your teen (13) saved his money and bought an xbox 360 - now with christmas you find an amazing deal on a game for it but it is for the youngest child (9) would you get games and let the other kids play his game system or would you let him have all rights to it and deside if anyone gets to play or not or let him not let anyone play at all? thanks all

 

[dismom24]

We have a bigger age difference between ours, but I asked my oldest when he got his Wii if he minded the little ones using it and he had no problem with it. He has actually gone off to college and keeps it here still. I think it depends on how your 13 year old feels.

 

[Mom2Satan&Daisy]

If he paid for it, it's his.

I had that growing up. If I paid for it, I HAD to share. I absolutely hated that. And there was a big age difference, so they never had to buy their own items to share.
It was hard. Especially at the 11-15 age.

 

[cheermom1]

He has already said that no one else is allowed to use it however this weekend he let our 14yr play with him? anyway i guess my main question is would you make your child share even though he spent his own money (but then that money was once yours from b-days and such) thanks btw I am not on either side of this i can see both sides i was curious as how most people would handle this since I am on the fence. thanks

 

[Crystal0608]

If he paid for it, its his, so I wouldn't buy the game for the other sibling.

 

[PrincessButtercup]

Whether he decides to share is up to him, but I would definitely NOT purchase games for someone else to use on it.

 

[Swimnoid]

Since he bought it with his money I would consider it his. I would ask him if he would let his siblings play with it but honor whatever his answer may be.

 

[scottybnyc]

It's all about asking him. If you want the siblings to do this together, break it to him as if you want him to teach the younger sibling about how to play the game. The older child will feel responsible and happy that you came to him for something only he can do, but he may also say no and that has to be accepted if that is his answer. Again, it's all about how you ask, and the circumstances.

 

[FLAngie]

Whether he decides to share is up to him, but I would definitely NOT purchase games for someone else to use on it.

I have to agree with this too. I would not make him share with the others. If he choses to, that is great. If you buy games for others to use on it you are making it a family toy and taking away any incentive he has to save his money and budget for things.

 

[dis-happy]

I'd show him the great deal you found on the game and ask if he wanted to give it his brother as a gift. It allows him to make the decision to share (or not).

JMO, but I wouldn't make him share it. But I also wouldn't let him spend hours locked up in his room playing it and not interacting with the rest of the family. (not saying his does, just saying I would put limits since a lot of teens I know like to spend A LOT of time playing).

 

[mjkacmom]

Ds10 bought our Wii (and gamecube), and everyone shares (it was ds's idea, actually). Dd12 bought the extra controllers, and some other accessories. They've all chipped in for games, unequally, with no problem.

It's in our living room, and although they've received games as gifts, everyone plays everything. I bought the Wii fit, just because. I don't know if it's because they're close in age, get along great, or because we're a big family, but this has never even been questioned. I asked them if they would rather receive individual, smaller gifts from grandma, or a couple of Wii games to share, and they all said they'd rather share.

Since there are 5 of them, the only way they got expensive gifts is if they share.

 

[lindsmom]

Whether he decides to share is up to him, but I would definitely NOT purchase games for someone else to use on it.

Since he bought it with his money I would consider it his. I would ask him if he would let his siblings play with it but honor whatever his answer may be.

I agree with these statements, and pretty much what everyone else has said. The fact that your 13 year old set a goal and saved for his purchase is admirable (for both him and you) - I think to oblige him to allow the 9 year old to use it diminishes what he did. However, if he's entrepeneurial (sp?) maybe he could rent time on the xbox - that may even motivate the 9 year old to save for his own?

 

[DVCLiz]

I would have a real problem telling one of my children she could not spend money she had received as a gift on something because "it was once my money." I just don't think that is a reasonable argument.

If you let him save up for it and didn't put any restrictions on it then, it's too late to make it any sort of "family share" system.

 

[tchrchgo]

I agree with these statements, and pretty much what everyone else has said. The fact that your 13 year old set a goal and saved for his purchase is admirable (for both him and you) - I think to oblige him to allow the 9 year old to use it diminishes what he did. However, if he's entrepeneurial (sp?) maybe he could rent time on the xbox - that may even motivate the 9 year old to save for his own?

great idea! maybe the 9 yr old could do some of the older child's chores in exchange for time on the xbox?

 

[Shmily1]

I had to share like that when I was younger and I resented it sooo bad!!!! If I had been asked, it wouldn't have been so bad, but being told to share was awful!!! If he bought it, it's his....

 

[kimsuenew]

your teen (13) saved his money and bought an xbox 360 - now with christmas you find an amazing deal on a game for it but it is for the youngest child (9) would you get games and let the other kids play his game system or would you let him have all rights to it and deside if anyone gets to play or not or let him not let anyone play at all? thanks all

Absolutely not! It is his system. If he chooses to share the system and games he has with siblings (when he feels it's appropriate) than fine, otherwise no. Your DS saved and used his money for what he wanted... the other children did not.

The only way I would see the sharing as a possibility would be (first the owner DS would have to agree to this) is that you divide the total cost of the system/accessories, ect... that DS bought by the number of potential players, and give DS the cash equivalant (taken from other childrens Christmas fund), and then there would be an "all ownership" and yes... games could then be bought.

 

[cheermom1]

I agree with these statements, and pretty much what everyone else has said. The fact that your 13 year old set a goal and saved for his purchase is admirable (for both him and you) - I think to oblige him to allow the 9 year old to use it diminishes what he did. However, if he's entrepeneurial (sp?) maybe he could rent time on the xbox - that may even motivate the 9 year old to save for his own?

ok that's funny and true but since I see both sides of this i want to raise a question - what about being selfish? it this teaching him to be selfish? but then on the other hand it teaches budget to and the rewards of it? I am so confused on what would be the right thing in terms of teaching them not to be selfish and budget and taking away from the rewards of saving their own money can you tell i'm frustrated? i am just not seeing a clear answer - see the 13yr has some issues on being selfish but he's not that bad of a kid i just want to him to learn what sharing is and why - but then I don;t want to take away from him saving his money and the rewards of that as well. thanks

 

[PrincessKsMom]

If he saved for it, and he purchased it, I think it's entirely up to him whether he wants to share or not. What if the younger one accidentally breaks the system because your "force" your 13 year old to share? Are you willing to replace the system? Also, if you wanted everyone in the house to have access to the system, you should have purchased it as a joint gift for the family. JMHO.

 

[cheermom1]

I would have a real problem telling one of my children she could not spend money she had received as a gift on something because "it was once my money." I just don't think that is a reasonable argument.

If you let him save up for it and didn't put any restrictions on it then, it's too late to make it any sort of "family share" system.

ok I should let you guys know that he is my stepson and I don;t have a say so over what his mom lets him do at her house - however he brings the xbox back and forth from his moms and our house which fine no big deal - together my dh and I have 5 kids - now like I said he let my 14yr play with him this weekend but as far as i know he won;t let any of the other kids play it either at his moms or at ours but why does one get to play and not any of the others? ok off my soap box on that but i agree he should have some control he bought it - i am having a hard time with the fact that he chooses one kid to play but not the others - can i say that it's all or no one? thanks

 

[eeyorethegreat]

My kids share just about everything they are close in age- 4 kids in 5 years so it is something they have always just done even without me asking. That being said the OP son did save his money for this game system so I would not go out and buy games for it for the other children. Here is where the parent needs to get the consent of the child...if he is cool with it then I suppose you could take advantage of the amazing deal you found but as you said he has already atated he doesn't want others using it. I think having someone play with him is different than letting someone else use it on his own. I probably would encourage him to play WITH his siblings but not get games FOR the siblings. I think you need to congratulate your son on saving his money for an expensive item and respect his wishes as to who plays with it.