ot: some dvice please

[livie1205]

this is driving me crazy....my husband and i have 3 kids dss8, ds9 &dd1....we have been together for 4 years, married 3.I always make huge effort to treat my dss the way i treat my bio children...i buy all of his clothes,toys (mom does not) nd have been the one to mke sure he has had vacations nd so on....but this is driving me nuts...the THATS NOT FAIR thing...i try to make things fair ll the time but when he is only here 50% of the time that is hard and i get the thts not fair...we have tried to explain to dss & ds that they will not always get the same things, when ds is with his dad he will miss out on things nd when dss is gone he will too and whenthey are both gone our dd1 who is here 100% of the time will get things.my poor parents get stuck in the middle too, they 75% of the time make sure they get BOTH of them things (they have even brought my dss school clothes)but sometimes my ds is with them alone and gets stuff...BIG MESS....to me its simple sometimes one person misses out but are with their other parents and get things from them, am i wrong?we do Agree he does whine a little more than our other kids but we are hoping he gets over that...HELP

 

[haley's mom]

I can feel your pain. I have dd (4), dss (8) and dsd (14). The step-children live with their mom. They are only here on weekends. I figure for 8-9 days per month, why spend all the money. They have a full set of clothes, toys, PS2, etc. here at my house. The only thing they have at their moms house is a cellphone, but that's a mute point. I am getting off topic. Anyhow, when dd was born, I explained it to the kids and we still do every year, that they will have 2 Christmas' Birthdays' etc. and my dd will only have 1. When you look at what they get at their moms and what they get here, they will get more than my dd. That is not fair. My MIL spends equal amounts on all 3 kids, they are her gkids. My parents buy for all 3, but obiviosly, my dd is their only gkid and she gets more. What we try to do also, it to leave some things at my moms house to open and then the skids won't see. Another thing I do as I go shopping throughout the year I will buy stuff for dd for no particular reason. The reason for me is to make-up for holidays.

 

[livie1205]

thank goodness their is someone else lol the boys just dont get tht i buy them all the same amount for christmas yet they will have two nd dd1 will only have one.....

 

[haley's mom]

The holdiays are definately the hardest time to deal with a "mixed" marriage. Sometimes I do not think that dh or step-kids understand how difficult it is on me. This Christmas we do not get the step-kids until 2pm. They get upset when we do Christmas morning with dd3. I refuse to take that away from her. I also hold back some gits that she can open when they get here.