OT: Sleep (or more specifically lack of it!!)

[luvmy3jewels]

I know this is a Disney board, but you guys have such great advice, I'm hoping someone can tell me what we can do to help with this problem (and have a more enjoyable Disney trip in May ;-)

My youngest dd is 2.5 and for the last two months she has been a terrible sleeper!! Before that she wasn't sleeping through the night on a regular basis, but was only waking up once a night, so we could deal with it. Now she refuses to sleep alone at all and wants to sleep as close to my dh or I as possible. One of us has to lay in bed with her every night to get her to sleep and then sneak down to our own bed. She usually wakes up within an hour and comes down to get in our bed. Then she tosses, turns, kicks, whines, etc. until 4 or 5 o'clock (and then she seems to go into a deep enough sleep that she doesn't keep us awake).

It is exhausting and we have to figure out a way to get her to sleep for all of our sakes!! I know that we shouldn't be allowing her in our bed...but how do we keep her out? My father has suggested locking her in her room, but I just can't do that. I think if we could solve the problem of getting her to sleep when she first goes down for the night, then her coming to our bed in the middle of the night will eventually resolve itself.

I would appreciate any suggestions/advice, etc... How do you get your young children how to learn to get themselves to sleep?

Thanks for any advice!!

Michelle

1st trip to Disney planned May 2-10 (offsite)
(6) (4) (2)

 

[PrincessGracie]

We've been there...maybe not as bad...but still we've been there!!!

She just turned 3 a few weeks ago and she hasn't done it in while. But every so often she just wants to sleep in our bed/room. At this point, we do not let her sleep in our bed...we make her a little "fort" on the floor in front of our bed.

The hardest thing for us was/is that in the middle of the night you'll do ANYTHING just to back to sleep. So we pretty much just let her do what she wants. Thank God her brother sleeps though the night!!!

I would try to see if she'll sleep on the floor...or even try to make a "fort" in her room. Maybe she'll feel so special that she'll want to sleep there.

I just keep telling myself, "it's just a phase, it's just a phase!!"

Good Luck!!!

 

[luvmy3jewels]

Thanks for the advice!

I totally agree....we are so exhausted that we don't care where she sleeps, as long as she sleeps!! When she gets in our bed, I'm so tired I don't have the energy to pick her up and carry her upstairs to her room.

I think the fort idea is a great one!! Thanks!!

 

[boysmom5150]

How about sleeping with one of the other kids. May not be the ideal situation, as she she is depending on someone and not by herself. But I'm thinking if she wakes up an hour or so after she 1st gets to sleep and then sees one of the older kiddies maybe she will just go back to sleep. My boys love to sleep together even if they dont share the bed, as long as they are in the same room they are usually ok and comfort each other(DS1 and DS4). We make it fun by telling them they are camping out like big boys. Waste of another bedroom, but if they want to share a room its better than being in our room/bed. Sorry I dont have better advice but looking foward to what other do.GOOD LUCK

 

[Perditamarie]

I went through this with my dd at about that age...never thought it would end!! At bed time and every time she woke up I would go in her room and hold her hand and sleep on her floor w/a pillow! I didn't want her to learn to sleep anywhere else and then have to start all over again trying to get her back in her bed/room. Eventually persistance won out and now she happily goes off to bed and stays there!! Good luck!

 

[fofinia]

You might want to get the book - The No Cry Sleep Solution. I found it at my library. Sorry I don't remember the author. I found it to be very helpful. She talks about keeping a log of nightime wakeups and what you did to calm your baby/child back to sleep. and then you work on one or two things at a time. For instance my DD 2 has had a cold off and on for over a month. So sleeping has been hard. And I've recently weaned her from nursing. So I had to stop bringing her in bed and nursing her to get her back to sleep. So instead I go in her room and just stand and tell her to put her head down on my shoulder and I will rock her. Sometimes she points to the door and sometimes to the rocking chair. But I say no, but mommy will rock you put your head down. Sometimes she does no problem. Other times she cries for a little bit (10 mins or so) and sometimes she'll just point at her bed and she'll lay down again. I might have to go back in the room one more time. But that's not usual. It did take a week or so for her to stop fighting it all the time. I'm not saying this is what is recommended in the book. But it is mostly working for us. her most recent stuffy nose has interfered with a smooth routine of sleep.

Good luck!!

 

[TheDizMom]

I would start by doing your normal bedtime routine. Then put a chair by her bed and sit next to her until she falls asleep. Every night move your chair a little farther away until you are outside the door. Don't talk to her other then to tell her it is time to go to sleep now. Hopefully by the time you are outside the door she will be getting herself to sleep or will shortly there after. Once she is falling asleep on her own in her bed tackle the sleeping in your bed issue, should it still be happening once she has learned how to get herself to sleep. From there when she comes into your room tell her the first time she can not sleep with you and take her back to her room. Then just keep taking her back without saying anything until she gives up and goes back to sleep in her own room. It may take a few long sleepless nights but eventually she will get the picture, the key is not to interact with her because she gets the attention she wants and keeps doing it. If all she gets from you is a silent escort back to her room she will discover it's not so fun and stop.

I totally sympathize with you as my DD is a crappy sleeper and she is days away from 6! She was really terrible at 2, and because I have trouble myself sleeping I rarely if ever let my kids sleep with me. Right now she goes for a night or 2 every month or so where she wants to sleep with me. I do let her sometimes for my sanity, but she usually is happy to go back to her bed the next night. There have been a few nights where she has insisted on sleeping in our room when it's bed time. We let her because obviously we go to bed later, and because our bedroom is in the basement she quickly changes her mind because we are upstairs and she is alone in the dark room downstairs. It works like a charm every time.

Good luck with her. I know it's a pain and there will be some long nights ahead to break her of this, but eventually you will win out if you stick to your guns and remain consistent.

 

[3DisneyBuggs]

My 2 yo son does the same thing. He will cry scream, if DH puts him to sleep in his bed. If I put him to bed, he just refuses to lay down at all. During the night he will come into our bed. He then does the toss, turn, whine routine. He also tries to sleep on my head and grabs my hair. Night time is not fun, I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in a long time.

 

[rmjkharrisfam]

My 2 yo DD is having a hard time now also. We recently stopped rocking her to sleep - looking back that wasn't the best plan in the world but it made getting her 4 yr old brother to sleep so much easier. We did as a previous post suggested except without the chair. I started out holding her and rocking for a few minutes and then rubbed her back. Gradually I have moved towards the door. We did this with DS also so I know it works but it is sooooo hard to be patient. As for getting up at night - our bedrooms are all in the same area. We put a gate in front of her door when she moved into the big girl bed so she wouldn't wander around without us hearing her. I have gone in to check on her and found her sleeping on the floor though

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Please do not lock her in her room. I am sorry but that is cruel.

How about letting her sleep in your bed if she wants to and then one of you just go sleep in her bed? This way she can move around and she has enough room and everyone gets some sleep. Our kids slept in our bed at that age and we do not have any bedtime problems. DH and I slept wherever we could get some sleep. Now they go into their bed with no problem and stay there unless they are sick. If they get up and come in our bed in the middle of the night we don't mind. They outgrow it eventually.

 

[Merriwind]

DD9 did not sleep more than 2 hours at a time for the first 11 months of her life. Then, just at her 2nd birthday, she had some medical issues that were probably traumatic to her and she stopped sleeping again. She had night terrors if left by herself, but would sleep with one of us happily. For a long time, DH slept in the guest room and DD slept with me. At some point that year, I decided to start rewarding her when she would sleep in her bed--and the Big Girl Bed Fairy was born.

It started with naps (she was much better about sleeping alone during the day). In her nighttable drawer, the BGBF would bring a little treat--a few jellybeans, a temporary tattoo, stick-on earrings, some dollar store trinket, a coin, etc. Somehow we let the idea that a big present would be waiting after her first whole night sleeping in her bed. That took a little bit, but when she slept through the night, a wrapped present and a congratulatory letter was waiting from the BGBF. After that, everytime DD woke up, we would hear her night table drawer open. In the afternoons, she would often get candy and would come out of her room chewing happily. In the mornings, she would run into our room to show us what the BGBF had brought her.

Retiring the BGBF was tough. We waited until DD lost her first tooth at age 5. The BGBF left her last gift that night with another note, telling DD that her good friend the Tooth Fairy was now taking over for her and she was moving on to help other little girls sleep in their big girl beds. DD accepted that happily and has really never mentioned the BGBF again.

It was lots of fun and I have very fond memories of the Big Girl Bed Fairy. I'm not usually a big fan of bribery, but at not quite 3, DD just wasn't old enough to reason with on this issue and I needed a motivator that was stronger than her fear of being alone. Greed did it.

Good luck. I always say that DD's first 11 months aged me 11 years. I feel your pain. Whatever works is the way to go--it is something she will outgrow when she's ready.

 

[luvmy3jewels]

Thanks so much for all of your advice!! You guys have given me some great ideas that I will definitely be trying!!

I will say that I know trying to let her cry it out just isn't an option with her. She throws up whenever she gets really upset, and it's just not worth the trauma to her.

My other two kids (6 and 4) have their own bedrooms, but refuse to sleep in seperate rooms. Right now there is a daybed with a trundle in one room and one sleeps on the top "bunk" and the other sleeps on the bottom. I know that one day they are going to get old enough they won't be able to stand seeing each other, so I'm not pushing the issue as long as I at least have two kids sleeping through the night.

If dd would sleep peacefully with us, I would just let her at this point. But even with a king size bed, she has to be up against either dh or I all night kicking and pushing at us.

I especially LOVE the big girl bed fairy idea!! It may be a little tricky, since the two older kids may get jealous though. I'll have to figure out a way to do it so they don't. My oldest daughter is about to loose her first tooth, so maybe I can tie that in with the idea somehow!

Thanks again!! I'm looking forward to the prospect of a decent nights sleep hopefully in the near future.