OT- Skipping a grade?

[dreamer17555]

My DD6 (well will be on Thursday) in Kindergarten walked up to me today with a First Grade report card. The teacher had mentioned at our first conference back in the beginning of the year that she was sweet and behaved but obviously bored. She mentioned the idea of possible moving her up a grade level at the end of the year, hear by skipping first and going straight into second and I really do not know what to think. This was a way for me to see how DD compares to the other First Graders.

DD6 is a good kid, her report card for “First Grade” curriculum had her at 2’s or 3’s for everything. She reads at a level 8-9, first grade proficient if 7-8, but she is still just a Kindergartener. I work with her daily because I love to teach her. She also does competition dance for five hours every week (not to mention practicing at home), we have a meeting next week with the Principle and it just feels like people are leaning towards moving her up a grade but I am the one dragging my feet.

Her teacher is amazing and DD does the same work as the class and then when finished (normally 15 mins before everyone else) the teacher’s assistant takes her to a table to work on the next step up. (i.e. They are doing counting addition in class; she is working on number sentence subtraction)

Still I am worried that it will be too hard, socially if nothing else. I worry that she will have a massive burn out instead of enjoying being a little (or a lot) further along then her classmates. But DH thinks we should do it. He mentions a lot that she needs to be challenged but I feel that if I am challenging her at home and she challenges herself at dance why should we want to add on to that? So what do you think? Would you move her up?

I am so confused.

-Becca-

 

[brightvalleyjrts]

I personally don't like the idea of skipping grades. I just don't think that socially most kids are ready for that. And I think if she is on top of her class then let her be. If you move her up she will just be average with the other kids I am sure.

I went through this myself when I was in 5th grade. When we moved from the west coast to the east coast, I was a whole grade ahead. And my teachers recommend to my dad to skip me to 6th grade. He went through the pros and cons and decided to leave me ahead of the other kids in my grade.

I feel like he made the right choice.

Anyway, sorry to ramble on. That is just my opinion for what it's worth.

I hope you get some good advice and feel comfortable in your decision.

 

[stacy6552]

Doubt means don't. The school should be able to challenge her within the appropriate grade. Trust your instincts. It may not seem like alot now, but consider when she's going through puberty late compaired to all her friends, or not driving when everyone else can. Teenagers want to fit in, not stand out.

make the school accomodate her within her appropriate grade.

 

[disalways]

They don't skip grades here anymore. They found that the social skills are just as important as the education. Putting someone in the spot of being the youngest always can be difficult on children. Our school system has fabulous challenge programs, so the children who are looking for more are receiving it.

 

[DisneyCrazyX5]

I think your gut is telling what you want to do. If your daughter is happy in Kindergarten and not having behavior problems due to boredom why move her up a grade. I have also found children do not usually say they are bored until a grown-up asks them if they are bored.
When my twins sons were 5, I had them tested to qualify them for speech classes. I was told they were ready academically for Kindergarten, but I (a past first grade teacher) did not believe they were socially ready, due to their speech delays or mature enough for all day Kindergarten. I knew they were smart enough to start school (they already knew many of the skills taught in kindergarten), but saw no reason to rush them. So they started Kindergarten at age 6, were in the same class, did not cling to each other and had their own friends. They are now in first grade and reading at the end of first grade level.

 

[8 Ears]

A couple of things that come to my mind are, how old will she be when she graduates? She will get her license a year before her classmates, what about the age/grade of puberty?

I know these things are hard to imagine right now but they may make a big difference to her when the time comes, for the good and not so much so.

We ended up keeping our 2nd son back a year for several reasons but one was he would of JUST turned 18 when he graduated. We thought he might be "too young" then.

Our DS 13 is in the 7th grade now, would of been 8th and is shaving! OK, just chin and side burns but he is the only one in his class......

Good luck in what ever you choose.

Oh, and congrats on being such wonderful parents, you have obviously spent lots of time with her!!

 

[daisyduck123]

My DD13 skipped first grade...she's now in 9th grade (August birthday) with a 4.25 GPA.
They don't really skip grades here either. The principal said DD was the first student he's ever skipped in 20 years.

It was the best thing we ever did for her.
No problems socially, academically, or emotionally.

If you have any questions, please pm me.

**Edited to add...I saw one above poster mention "imagine your DD going thru puberty a year later than everyone else". Well my DD actually went thru all of it a year earlier than the kids who are in her grade...all of her friends included. (She got her period at 10yo).

 

[brergnat]

I wouldn't consider it unless your daughter has been having issues at school as a result of being bored. If she is doing fine, is well behaved, etc, I'd leave things as is. When kids are TRULY bored/not challenged, they act out with negative behaviors at school.

I have a son who is 3.5 He's mildly autistic. However, he is extremely smart and learns VERY fast. He can do second grade level math and reads at a second grade level. He's 3.5. Just because he CAN do this stuff, it does not mean that he's READY for second grade. He can't carry on a normal conversation with his peers...obviously, he is very behind socially. Although I know once he starts school, he will be WAY ahead academically, he will still always lag behind socially due to his condition. The social aspect of school is just as important as the academic...perhaps more so.

Wait until you get some cues from your DAUGHTER that she is not in a suitable environment for her, but until you do, don't go changing her world too much. She's just a kid.

 

[momo3hods]

I skipped third grade and it was the best thing my parents could have done for me. They waited until I could help make the decision, I had been with both my second grade class (for music, art, etc) and the third grade class (for academics) so I knew the older kids and they knew me. When I 'skipped' to fourth grade, I was much happier and was still an A student.

My advice, and I was a teacher before having my own kids, is to wait it out a few years and let them challenge her at school. When she gets to third or fourth grade, see how things are and if she is socially ready for the older kids. I believe skipping kids too early is not good for their social development.

 

[_queenie_]

I know (well used to know) a few parents who's child skipped a grade (private school). From what I've heard it's a decision that parents have to make on their own. I've heard some success stories, others not so much (staying back and ending up back in the same boat). My kids (older two, the rate DD3 is going she'll be in the same place) have been bored in school and in the same boat since they started, my DD's second grade teacher even suggested looking into her doing some fourth grade classes instead of sitting through the "boring" third grade ones (that's huge for our district), but now school has gotten a little harder for them. DD13 is still very advanced for her grade, but she keeps busy all of the time, it's just not like how it used to be where she'd finish a worksheet any before anyone else (of course, alot of kids stop worrying about quality too), there's now always something to do. It's changed so much in that the kids who take their time actually do better!

It'll have to be your decision and your's alone, but something to remember is that you may regret it in a few years. I wish you luck with whatever you choose to do!

 

[Fabinva]

My 7yr old son is on 2nd grade, he gets bored too often and last year when he was on a different school he was joining 2nd grade class for reading and math because his grade level was just too easy for him, this new school does not do that but his teacher gives him a different homework to challenge him. Even though he is smart his organizational skills need lots of improvement and for that reason I would not think about him skipping a grade.
I do have a 5yr old daughter in Private Kindergarten and she goes all day, her birthday is towards end of October so she was about a month short of the cut off date for the state to start public school but I knew she was ready and she loves her school, her teacher says she is very good socially and quite smart too, I worried a bit at first but figured it would not hurt to try and I'm glad we did.
I think you should trust your instincts on this one and go for whatever is best for your kid, if there is a trial time period may be worth trying to see how she does.

 

[collcass]

I know that 27 state do say "on or before sept or oct date". Ours does not. In CT most kids are or are turning 6 in first grade. DS in 1st just turned 6 at the very end of the year. He's young for his grade but doing okay.

Personally, I would not skip a child from K to 2nd grade. Too many skills learned in 1st. If anything, I would switch her now into the first grade. It doesn't happen very often in our district, but if they are going to do it, it is usually done from K-1. Another option is integrated day if your school system has it. Thats a great program for some kids!

Good luck

 

[Rylee]

My DD6 (well will be on Thursday) in Kindergarten walked up to me today with a First Grade report card. The teacher had mentioned at our first conference back in the beginning of the year that she was sweet and behaved but obviously bored. She mentioned the idea of possible moving her up a grade level at the end of the year, hear by skipping first and going straight into second and I really do not know what to think. This was a way for me to see how DD compares to the other First Graders.

DD6 is a good kid, her report card for “First Grade” curriculum had her at 2’s or 3’s for everything. She reads at a level 8-9, first grade proficient if 7-8, but she is still just a Kindergartener. I work with her daily because I love to teach her. She also does competition dance for five hours every week (not to mention practicing at home), we have a meeting next week with the Principle and it just feels like people are leaning towards moving her up a grade but I am the one dragging my feet.

Her teacher is amazing and DD does the same work as the class and then when finished (normally 15 mins before everyone else) the teacher’s assistant takes her to a table to work on the next step up. (i.e. They are doing counting addition in class; she is working on number sentence subtraction)

Still I am worried that it will be too hard, socially if nothing else. I worry that she will have a massive burn out instead of enjoying being a little (or a lot) further along then her classmates. But DH thinks we should do it. He mentions a lot that she needs to be challenged but I feel that if I am challenging her at home and she challenges herself at dance why should we want to add on to that? So what do you think? Would you move her up?

I am so confused.

-Becca-

I think I would take the wait and see approach. Seriously, if she is gifted, she will always be so.

I don't think that I would recommend skipping 1ST grade or 3RD for that matter, (possibly 2ND or 4TH) as they are such transition years and so important to the basic foundation to build upon.

Here in our district, my daughters have all skipped a year in certain subjects... 2 skipped 6TH grade math, 1 skipped 8TH grade math, 2 skipped 8TH grade English (Freshmen English teacher flat out told us she resented these students in her class, ) all 3 skipped Spanish I, and took AP History and College Chem, in their junior years. In addition, because of skipping a year of Math and/or English, the girls took college level courses in those subjects in their senior years. They ranked 6TH and 14Th in their graduating classes, other daughter is currently a junior.

They were never bored, (somestimes I think "bored" is more of an attitude) they took pride in their work and were eager to please. They were often selected for special things, as they could afford to miss some instruction time away from their classrooms. Our school also offered a "Talent & Gifted" class... I didn't think too much of the program itself, but allowed them to participate.

Anyway, I would look into what other services and programs the school provides for gifted children. Perhaps she could start next year in 1ST, and after the first marking period, you and your husband could schedule a conference with her teachers to decide what would be in her best interest.

You should definitely discuss it with your daughter, too. Even very young children have a way of sensing what's best for one's self.

 

[MiniGirl]

This was a discussion we had about our oldest, and ultimately, we didn't do it. Our oldest does fine with her peers but is still quite "young." For us, driving was the big issue. All of her peers would be getting their licenses 12 to 18 months (or more) before her; and as a 14 yo, I didn't want her riding around with a bunch of 16 yos.

We did what we were comfortable doing and what we thought was best. Because of her birthdate, she is one of the oldest in the class and is really turning into a class leader. She's still doing well academically, too, but has been able to develop leadership skills that I don't think she would have been able to if we had moved her ahead.

I should also note that friends of ours started their dd in K a year early, so she is the youngest in her class, and she is also doing well. It really just depends on each individual child.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[tzolkin]

my DD9 "skipped" a grade. it was really a smooth transition and i dont know if we would have done it otherwise. for the first half of first grade she was going to the second grade class for 2 hours a day. this was not that noticable to the other kids in her class because at her school all the kids switch classes for reading and math (there are 3 levels of each). after winter break she just moved into the second grade class full time. there were no transition issues because she already spent a portion of the day in that class and she had already made friends and felt comfortable with the teacher.

prior to the move, we met with her three teachers (1st grade, 2nd grade, and math) and the principal and superintendent to discuss the issue. basically they said that every time before that the issue had been raised there was some reason (emotional, social, age, etc) that they decided that it would not be best to move the child ahead. her teachers were really insistent that this would be best for her even though the school had no experience with it. we discussed it at length with our DD and felt confident that she was comfortable in the class and was doing better with the more challenging work. her K and 1st grade teachers were very helpful in working with her one on one and giving her more challenging assignments, but all we could think about was what would happen when she got a teacher that wasnt willing to work ahead with her. my parents had the opportunity to move me ahead, but were convinced by family that they shouldnt. i wound up playing games on the computer, organizing the classroom, and wandering around the school passing notes between the teachers just so they had something for me to do. my elem. education was really poor and i was miserable, but i was quiet and well behaved so i was relatively ignored.

my DD is in 4th grade now and doing very well. there is a wide age range in each class, so she is not really younger than anyone else. in kindergarten there were 4 year olds and kids that turned 6 at the beginning of the year. her best friend turned nine in November and she just turned nine in January. they are in the same grade and only two months difference.

good luck with your decision.

 

[hoosiergirl7]

I agree with the poster who said take the wait and see approach. I think in Kindergarten it's just too early to tell especially if she's not bored. However if it gets to the point where she's doing academics of a class ahead of hers (in the next 2 or 3 yrs), then I would seriously consider it.

This being said, my Dh is a skipper. He started his freshman year of high school as a freshman (freshmen were still in the jr. high where he went to school at that time) and was walking next door to the high school for a good majority of his classes. So at the end of the first semester his parents, the school and he realized that most of the classes he would be taking for the 2nd semester were over at the high school. So he jumped to a sophomore. The following fall he started as a junior. He graduated high school a year ahead of schedule but then went to college on the 5 yr work/study program so it all worked out.

I also have a cousin who was skipped from 3rd to 5th. She is a smarty pants and went to summer school so she could graduate high school early and also because she wanted to spend her senior year as a foreign exchange student in Italy. Technically she graduate high school when she was 15. She started college when she was 16, but turned 17 two weeks after starting college. She never felt like she was younger than her peers and was actually still academically ahead of her peers in college and went on to graduate cum laude with a double major in Telecommunications and Italian with a minor in Biology. Talk about an overachiever!!! I love her a lot and we're close.

Didn't mean to go into this whole spiel but give it some major consideration because in a few years skipping her might be the best thing you can do for her. One of the reasons we go to school it to learn and be a challenged and if she's not being challenged then she's not working to her full potential (just my opinion though).

 

[sl_underwood]

I havent read all of the responses but I do have some experience. My dd has skipped 2 grades, first and 3rd and is now 14 and a jr in highschool. The school stated skipping was the right thing to do in earlier grades and then when she was 9 and entering middle school and wasnt socially ready they suggested I homeschool her, that she wouldnt be accepted by her peers, etc. We agreed to homeschool and now she is graduating next year and is very social, has friends of all ages. For us, it worked out, but I cant imagine it working well for a child in a traditional school situation.

 

[CastleCreations]

My DD13 skipped first grade...she's now in 9th grade (August birthday) with a 4.25 GPA.
They don't really skip grades here either. The principal said DD was the first student he's ever skipped in 20 years.

It was the best thing we ever did for her.
No problems socially, academically, or emotionally.

If you have any questions, please pm me.

**Edited to add...I saw one above poster mention "imagine your DD going thru puberty a year later than everyone else". Well my DD actually went thru all of it a year earlier than the kids who are in her grade...all of her friends included. (She got her period at 10yo).

Oh God!! Period at 10...someone please pick me up off the floor...I'm not ready for that...

 

[dreamer17555]

I really wanted to thank everyone for the replies. I talked to the teacher and she had mentioned starting next year with an intergrated class. Half a day in 1st and half in 2nd. And while I think that might be okay the more I think about it the more I feel uneasy about moving her up a grade. Girls can be pretty cruel and she just does so much outside of school.

Starting in 3rd Grade they have AG classes that could challenge her and since Cat is not acting up and loves school (though she doesn't get why they are working on word walls when she knows how to spell and read those words- this came from her mouth last night). I am leaning towards keeping her where she is and then just challenge her at home. DH and I are still talking about it and we have a school meeting coming up but I think that is what I am leaning towards.

-Becca-