OT: Puppy issue with DD

[jeepgirl30]

I typed a long update but it disappeared.

Anyway I want to thank all of you for your responses. One thing I have learned on DIS is that passionate people often read posts and skip some details or misread details and also forget they are only getting a small portion of the whole situation. So I'd like to clarify a few things!

First, my post yesterday was a result of frustration. I was so upset seeing my child in bruises. She is 9, not 6. the 6 yr old is my son who is NOT having issues with the puppy. My DD bruises easily as do I. She is not left unsupervised except if i'm in the shower or run down to switch laundry. She occassionally walked the dog by herself as we thought this would be good for both of them, a mistake which we have corrected.

The puppy is not crated "day and night". He is crated during the day while we are at work. This is as much for his own saftey as the well being of the hosue! At night he is uncrated even with the sports, one parent is with him.

We did get our last dog as a young pup. He too chewed and was a lot more hyper overall. This puppy actually is not hyper in general, just when he first sees DD or me. With me he calms down right away but with her he just gets crazy. I tend to forget the accidents our lab had, like eating the couch! He was housetrained in 24 hrs but the chewing was bad, I just forgot. I did know we would deal with puppy issues but I was not prepared for seeing my daughter bruised. I don't know any parent who would have see their child looking like mine and thinking oh well its a puppy. I was alarmed and scared. I was wondering if this is a sign of aggression or what. Yes, it was an over reaction but she is my child.

I don't believe I said I was even thinking of dumping my dog at a shelter. I would never do that. Sure when he grabbed my cell phone and ran through the house this am I was tempted to tell him he was headed there but I also tell my kids santa is real and if they aren't good he will leave them coal. Santa has never left them coal.

I appreciate the suggestions on training. I had actually looked up trainers yesterday and called a private person. We talked and she suggested coming to our home and training DD and I with the dog. I completely realize the dog is MY responsibility. We got the dog for DD to be her pet and to help teach her responsiblity we never expected her to take care of him alone. We want him to be a happy and healthy part of our family but we want the kids to be happy and safe too.

To the posters that mention rescues, my post was written in frustration. Please understand where I was coming from, I do love this puppy and would never just dump him somewhere. If you have suggestions on training, preventing aggression, books to read, etc I'd love to hear more.

For the other lab owner, thank you! You really seem to have understood where I am coming from and reminded me this is a stage and the big reward is not far off.

As for quitting sports, not an option. The children need their exercise and socialization as well. We can be well rounded it just takes dedication, commitment and the thing I'm lacking most, patience!

 

[MyDizneyBoyz]

A couple suggestions for helping kids play safely with dogs from someone with lots of experience.

- Have your DD interact with the dog in a non-contact way like playing fetch with a tennis ball or something similar. The dog gets exercise, your DD gets to play with the dog.
- Implement NILF for the dog (Nothing In Life is Free). Make him "work" for everything by doing a basic sit or down before getting food, attention, treat, going outside, etc. You have dozens of training opportunities throughout the day so use them all. Everytime you want to pet the dog, play with him or give him something, ask him to sit and then do the activity. This is a simple, consistent way to teach him that sitting (which is a calm behavior) makes good things happen.
- Don't give the dog any attention at all unless he's got "4 on the floor". All 4 paws firmly on the floor before he gets greeted when you come home or when he wants attention. Teach your kids to say "Off" in a strong voice, cross their arms and turn their backs on him if he jumps. You should be there to reinforce the "Off" with your own verbal cue if the jumping doesn't stop immediately. The moment he's got all 4 on the floor or sits, he gets affection. The second he jumps, the attention goes away.
- If you feed him dry food, take a handful of kibbles out of his dish before you give it to him and use those for a quick training session at mealtime. A few sits, downs, and whatever else you want to work on for a few moments before giving him the rest of his food is a good way to work on long-term consistency.
- If you free-feed (leave food out for him whenever he wants), stop. Give him meals at set times to remind him that you control the good things in life and also to create those training opportunities.
- Get one of those toys that hold treats and the dog needs to work to get them out. They're physically and mentally stimulating to the dog. Give him one when you get home (after he has a chance to go potty) and he's at his most "needy" so he has a few minutes to burn off some excess energy.

That first year can be very hard! But the time and effort you put in now will help you develop a polite furry family member who will be so much fun to have around. Social skills take practice so give him lots of opportunities to work on those skills. And of course as much exercise as you can give him is always a big help! Tired pups are well-behaved pups.

Good luck!!

 

[Pumbaa_]

good luck, i hope it works out. If it doesn't, I am in CT and would happi;y come and take him home

 

[Fortune1211]

We too have a labradoodle, a 5 month old female. She was actually just spayed on Wednesday and so her feeling a little out of it has been bliss! I can totally appreciate where you're coming from as she needs an enormous amount of exercise in order for her to be "reasonable". I'm a WAHM so she's not crated that much, but when we do leave her for any long period we notice a HUGE difference in how she acts!

I hope you're able to work things out to keep your pup but there is in fact a doodle rescue group, here's website; http://idog.biz/IDOGRRR.html

Good luck!

 

[BelleRocks]

Did you get the dog from a breeder? Most breeders will take the dog back if the situation becomes unmanageable. I too thought I "would never", but sometimes you have to live through something to understand it. No, I would have never "dumped the dog at a shelter", but knowing that the breeder would keep her until she found a more suitable home was a reasonable answer.

Was it our fault for not making sure we were making the right choice? Absolutely. But I didn't feel our family deserved to be torn to shreds for the next 10-14 years in penalty.

If it really reaches the point where it is destructive for your family, your family needs to come first. By finding a good home for the dog that is better suited than yours, you are still fulfilling your responsibility as a pet owner.

And yes, we had the dog for about a year and spent tons of both hours and money on training.

 

[El&Asmom]

Lots of great suggestions already, so I'll only add a book that I recommend to clients. "Living with Kids and Dogs....Without Losing Your Mind".

Bottom line:
Kids and dogs are never left alone.
A tired dog is a better behaved dog.
Training is lifelong. A single class won't do it. It takes ~100 hours of training, (preferable by you), before a dog is considered well behaved.
7-12 months are the rambunctious "teen" years for pups. They are testing you and even if starting to be well trained before will often regress.

Good luck. Please don't give up on your pup. She is a family member, and just needs some exercise and training. It's not easy, but it will be worth it.