OT: Puppy issue with DD

[jeepgirl30]

The kids (DD9 and DS6) have wanted a new puppy since our lab passed. We pushed off but for DD's bday we got her a labradoodle. We picked this because of the non hyperallergenic/non shedding, etc. We love labs but not the shedding and DS has allergies.

DD was carrying around a stuffed puppy for months, feeding it and loving it. We knew she would need help obviously but she was showing she would atleast help.

DH and I have always had animals in our lives and our lab was our first child.

Anyway we got the puppy end of June. He is now 6 months and acts just like Marley from Marley and me. Eats everything. We had a struggle housebreaking him but he seems okay now. We even did puppy training.
However, he is a jumper and a chewer. When DD walks in the room he goes nuts and jumps all over her. DS does not have this issue, the dog will jump on him some but stops. With DD the only way he stops is if she leaves the room, I pull him off or we put him in his crate.

She no longer walks him because she would come in the house in tears because he was biting her. Yesterday she pulled up her sleeve and I was appalled. Her little arms are COVERED in bruises. Big, little, in between but absolutely covered. I was mortified. My precious baby looks like she was attacked.

I noticed before a couple little bruises and she had admitted it was the dog. Yesterday I asked and she confirmed the dog. i have never seen something like this though, it is awful.

I don't know what to do. She loves the dog and wants to keep trying to get him trained. I know once he out grows puppy stage he will be a great dog. He is not aggressive just very playful. He bites me too and has ruined many clothes but never bruises me.

We keep spending money on him and I'm thinking we need to just realize this was a mistake. I cannot bear to see my child looking like she was beat. Yes, I'm ready for a call from child protection but that is the least of the worries in this situation. My child's saftey is the highest priority.

DH thinks we just need to discipline the dog more and keep them monitored. However I just feel we need to stop and face the mistake and protect our girl.

DH and I both work so the dog is in a crate for a long time during the day. He wants to run and play. The kids are also in sports so evenings are crazy as well. The dog doesn't get the attention he seems to be needing.

i just don't know what to do right now.

 

[EcbLovesMickey]

You need to invest in some quality dog training. He needs to learn the pack order and realize that your DD is higher in the pack than him. Contact your local Animal control or go to a Pet store and find a good trainer, maybe even one willing to work with you at home.

A well trained dog will be worth every penny you spend on training and more!


Good luck!

 

[diesel]

Please don’t give up on your dog yet. Most dogs are surrendered to a shelter around 6-9 months because those are the most difficult times with puppies. It will get better. Most labs stop the biting when their adult teeth come in which should be around 6 months. The one motto you must follow is a tired dog is a good dog. He needs to be exercised to get out his energy from spending the whole day in a crate. Can you hire a dog walker to let him out during the day? Do you have a fenced in yard? Play lots of fetch with him in the yard to get his energy out. And I would recommend another obedience class or at least get a good book on basic dog training techniques. Labs have a very long puppy stage that lasts longer than most dogs so they can be a challenge for the first year or so but they are so worth it in the end. Best of luck.

 

[hereyago]

Dogs are pack animals. So your puppy needs to learn he is the low man on the dog pack totem pole. Also, puppies teethe so when they chew on something, they are trying to make their gums feel better.
When the pup nips, puppies nip thier litter mates when they are little, and if you make a yelp they will stop.

But, do not go to a place thinking they will train your dog for you. A good trainer will train the humans how to train their dogs and establish alpha leaders. But it isn't going to be day of training the dog not to jump, you are going to have to work at it, but it is so worth it later on. I went to a private training place and they even encouraged the kids to come and work with their pups and show their pups they were over them.

I agree with tiring out the puppy, they have so much energy. I took my pup to his first day care yesterday and when I picked him up in the afternoon, he was just exhausted.

I wish you luck.

 

[Darcy03231]

The kids (DD9 and DS6) have wanted a new puppy since our lab passed. We pushed off but for DD's bday we got her a labradoodle. We picked this because of the non hyperallergenic/non shedding, etc. We love labs but not the shedding and DS has allergies.

DD was carrying around a stuffed puppy for months, feeding it and loving it. We knew she would need help obviously but she was showing she would atleast help.

DH and I have always had animals in our lives and our lab was our first child.

Anyway we got the puppy end of June. He is now 6 months and acts just like Marley from Marley and me. Eats everything. We had a struggle housebreaking him but he seems okay now. We even did puppy training.
However, he is a jumper and a chewer. When DD walks in the room he goes nuts and jumps all over her. DS does not have this issue, the dog will jump on him some but stops. With DD the only way he stops is if she leaves the room, I pull him off or we put him in his crate.

She no longer walks him because she would come in the house in tears because he was biting her. Yesterday she pulled up her sleeve and I was appalled. Her little arms are COVERED in bruises. Big, little, in between but absolutely covered. I was mortified. My precious baby looks like she was attacked.

I noticed before a couple little bruises and she had admitted it was the dog. Yesterday I asked and she confirmed the dog. i have never seen something like this though, it is awful.

I don't know what to do. She loves the dog and wants to keep trying to get him trained. I know once he out grows puppy stage he will be a great dog. He is not aggressive just very playful. He bites me too and has ruined many clothes but never bruises me.

We keep spending money on him and I'm thinking we need to just realize this was a mistake. I cannot bear to see my child looking like she was beat. Yes, I'm ready for a call from child protection but that is the least of the worries in this situation. My child's saftey is the highest priority.

DH thinks we just need to discipline the dog more and keep them monitored. However I just feel we need to stop and face the mistake and protect our girl.

DH and I both work so the dog is in a crate for a long time during the day. He wants to run and play. The kids are also in sports so evenings are crazy as well. The dog doesn't get the attention he seems to be needing.

i just don't know what to do right now.

I think you hit the nail on the head here. It really doesn't sound like you have enough time to devote to the dog, especially a puppy. It sounds like everyone is gone most of the day and into the evenings (which is a lot like my house) and there really isn't enough time to devote to the puppy. He's not getting enough exercise which in turn makes him "hyper".

If you want to keep the dog you're going to need to make time available to him several times a day for exercise/training. If you can't/won't do it, the best thing to do would be to find someone who has the time to put into him.

My kids begged for a dog too and we never gave in because of the time contraint issue. DH and I both work and our kids are/were involved in lots of extracurricular activities. A puppy/dog would have been a disaster because we really don't/didn't have the time to put into caring for one.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[mjkacmom]

My friend has a labradoodle, and even now at 2, she's full of energy. She's a SAMH, takes the dog on a long walk during the day, lets her out in the yard, and the kids play with her after school. I can't imagine putting such a high energy puppy in a crate all day long. Try to hire a dog walker, and make sure she gets a couple miles in when you get home from work. I also agree she needs more training - I thought labs acted like puppies for the first 3 years or so?

 

[worm761]

I agree with Darcy. It sounds like you don't have the time for a puppy. Maybe try to find the puppy a home and then adopt an older dog. This way your kids can still have a dog but you won't have to worry. Maybe go for a smaller breed too. I have less problems with short hair dogs and my allergies than with long hair. We have three dogs. One is over 8, one is almost 4, and the last is a 10 week old puppy. I keep saying that my favorite one is the over 8. She is old and crabby but not nearly as hyper as the puppy. I am 8 months pregnant so the hyper puppy gets to me right now. I have NO idea what I was thinking when I gave in to getting another dog. But we love all our dogs. Find a dog that is more mellow in temperament but still youngish. Our 4 year old dog is mellow sometimes but does have hyper moments. We have an odd assortment of dogs though. The over 8 is an adopted Pekingese, we found her at the pound. The 4 year old is a bull mastiff/ rot mix. Very good dog. Wouldn't trade him for the world. He is HUGE though. Weighs almost 100 lbs and is still growing. He should max out at 150. The 10 week old puppy is a Jack Russell. He is new to us so we are still getting used to him. He bites and chews on everything but his toys. Typical puppy. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[dfchelbay]

We've always had two dogs. When we couldn't be with them, they could play together, get exercise together and occupy each other's time and attention. I know you feel overwhelmed with just one, but perhaps a second would alleviate this problem you're experiencing. If not, then the dog most definitely needs ALOT of exercise. Not just walking, but running. Labs are sporting dogs that love to be outside and love to run and burn off all that energy. Is there a dog park or a play group where you live? Maybe you need someone to come to your house middays and exercise the dog. Good luck.

 

[Scurvy]

Lab mixes can be great pets, but they do tend to be very energetic and they do like to chew. Most Lab and lab-mix owners could relate to "Marley and Me" when it came out because so many of their dogs were just like that at one point. It sounds like a lab mix wasn't a good choice for your family. It also sounds like you might not have the time needed to devote to a puppy right now.

I think that you have two choices: either invest the time and money to properly train the dog, or give the dog up. Unfortunately at six months old he is past the "cute puppy" stage and it might prove to be difficult to rehome him. Taking a lab mix to a shelter isn't a good thing - there are so many of them in shelters right now that most of them don't find homes in time and are killed. So if you decide to rehome him you really need to try to find a new home yourself unless whoever you got him from will take him back or you can find a no-kill shelter. If you choose to keep him, you need to get him obedience training and you also need to train yourself and your family about how to interact with a dog like that. The children should not ever be left unattended with the dog. You also need to make sure that he is getting enough exercise and attention. There are lots of great resources (books, websites, obedience clubs, etc.) to help you learn to deal with him if that is something you are willing to do.

 

[cassiez76]

we took sushi, our yellow lab (who will be 2 next month) to pet smart for their puppy classes. she still jumps on her grandmother (her favorite person in the world!) and she steals stuff to chew, but she is much better than she use to be. i was at my wits end most days (since i was the one home all the time).

she's very gentle with my 10 month old son, but can be really rough with me! she's so rotten, but my baby girl

i highly recommend training. you'll see a difference if you practice with yours!

 

[amyj1024]

Get this book.. how to raise the perfect puppy by Cesar Milan. Talks a lot about what you are experiences, while you have a lot of work ahead of you, you do need to start by getting the dog to realize you and ALL Of your kids are pack leaders and are the ones in charge, not the dog.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Just noticed you live in Pittsburgh. I taught obedience classes for years. I could suggest a good place for you to go if you're interested. PM me your location if you are.

I agree with the majority. The dog is not going to teach itself. You need to find the time for this pup. The situation will just get worse.

And unfortunately with Labradoodles, two hyper breeds are bred together. This is a common misconception with these designer breeds. You could get the worse traits or the best. No guarantee this dog won't shed and looks like he picked up the hyper trait.

Good luck, the pup as well as the family definetly need some formal training.

 

[robinb]

We have a standard poodle, so I can speak to that part of your mixed breed. Poodles have springs in their legs ... for the first two years I thought I should have named our dog "Tigger" she would just bounce and bounce and bounce. Poodles are also quite "mouthy" and it took a full year to get ours to stop using her mouth on our hands, pant legs, gloves, etc. My DD was the last to win our dog's respect because she wanted to be a "sister" and not a "leader". Instead of playing with our dog like a human she would play with her like a dog. We finally broke her of that and the dog came around.

If the dog is respectful with everyone else in the house, concentrate on having your DD do training. Maybe even have her (and her alone) give the dog something really great like hot dog pieces when she does her training. My DD moved from sit/down/stay to shake/bow/sit pretty/beg/etc. The training will help establish the pack order for the pup. Some obedience classes offer a family class where your DD can come along and do the training.

 

[kacaju]

if you want to keep the dog you need to find a good obed school. you nned to make the time to train the dog.

 

[crisi]

Six is also a hard age with a large dog. She isn't big enough to be physically intimidating to the dog.

I'd get a dog walker to take the dog out for a half hour walk every day. I'd get a trainer to work with the dog. AND, I'd work with your daughter to get her to be the boss of the dog. That was hard with our dog and our daughter as well. He immediately got that my husband was Alpha and that my son and I were higher in pack order than him - but it took him a few months to put my daughter in the right spot - above him - in pack order. Her high voice and small stature weren't helping - nor was her attitude.

And I'd consider dropping the sports before getting rid of the dog. You took on a huge responsibility with the dog

 

[tammymacb]

And people PM me asking about my signature...

I'm trying to carefully reply, as these situations make me angry. You said you had a dog before. Did you not get it as a puppy? Puppies are a lot of work. Kids are a lot of work. Puppies and kids are cute, but more often more work than many people can realistically handle. You appear to be in that group.

First of all. I am a big fan of adoption. I currently have 4 greyhounds aged 2-10 who were all adopted as adults from racing. I also have a 4ish year old Boykin spaniel who I adopted from the local SPCA. 4 large dogs- 5 dogs?? Lots of work? Less work than a lab mix puppy. However, I know my tolerance for chewing and messing and have a full time job so I know better than to go and buy a puppy that I don't have the time to properly train and exercise.

Puppies are not expendable! By you "getting rid" of your unwanted puppy, another dog in the shelter will die. No two ways about it. Room has to be made. I'd encourage you to research a breed specific rescue ( though lab mixes aren't technically a breed ) and at least give the puppy a chance at foster care, training and adoption into a responsible home.

I'm sorry your puppy is chewing on your daughter. Being crated all day he/she is not getting the exercise, physically or mentally that he needs. That's a fact. It doesn't sound like how you are handling the problem is helping the situation either. Labs are puppies for a long time. You can't make them grow up faster. Crating them all day long and then expecting a calm, well behaved puppy when you get home is unrealistic.

I don't recommend you get rid of puppy and then adopt an older dog. I think you need to wait a long time, until you have more time, and have done some research before you bring another animal into your home. Shelters are too crowded already.

 

[Hannathy]

It isn't the dog's fault! It simply isn't getting enough exercise. We have a 5 month old pup and I can't begin to imagine it being in a crate all day and all night, my goodness. Ours gets a 3-4 mile walk 4-5 times a week and a shorter walk or trip to the dog park on the other days and even with that she has her rambunctious moments.

You wouldn't expect a preschooler to sit in class at a desk all day and still nap and sleep. Why a baby dog? This needed to be thought of before getting a dog.

As far as size and dog my DS is a very slight 11 yr old (52 lbs) but because he started walking her being pack leader the darn dog ranks him higher I think than me!! so it is the attitude of the human not the size, and our puppy is a good size girl a lean 43 pounds at exactly 5 months (vet estimates 90lb range)

IMO if the sports are important then while the kids are playing you or DH need to take that time and walk the dog instead of watching as I guess you are doing now.

I get very angry when people get rid of pets because they don't want to do the work needed. this was an animal not a toy that can just be thrown away! The PP is correct if you give it to a shelter there is no guarantee it will find a happy ending and if does then absolutely another dog already there won't. Is this what you want on your conscious and on your kids?

 

[robinb]

Six is also a hard age with a large dog. She isn't big enough to be physically intimidating to the dog.

I'd get a dog walker to take the dog out for a half hour walk every day. I'd get a trainer to work with the dog. AND, I'd work with your daughter to get her to be the boss of the dog. That was hard with our dog and our daughter as well. He immediately got that my husband was Alpha and that my son and I were higher in pack order than him - but it took him a few months to put my daughter in the right spot - above him - in pack order. Her high voice and small stature weren't helping - nor was her attitude.

And I'd consider dropping the sports before getting rid of the dog. You took on a huge responsibility with the dog

I agree with most of your points. I think my DD was 7 when we got our dog and the dog did not respect her in the proper pack order for the reasons you mention. Honestly, it's really more about training the people/kids in the household to be good leaders than the dog to be a good follower. Our dog knew it instinctually, my DD just wanted to be her friend.

I am going to disagree about one point and I know I'm going to find myself in a DIS "pit of hell" for it 'cause people really do love their animals here . While I agree that getting a dog is a big responsibility that should not be taken lightly, as a "swim mom" I could not see making my DD give up her sport for a new puppy that was not working out with our family. So many good things come out of kids participating in sports. Participating in sports builds confidence, coordination, physical conditioning, teamwork and respect for just a few. If the OP's kids are in competitive sports they also have responsibilities to other people: their teams and teammates. Now, I'm not saying that animals are disposable because they are not. I have taken in my share of strays and rescued animals that someone didn't want. BUT ... if an animal is not working out with a family then the family may have to make the difficult decision to re-home that animal for both the welfare of family and that of the animal. I have only had to re-home an animal once and that was a rat that bit my DD twice, once so hard she needed stitches. That rat went back to the rescue society from which I adopted her.

Personally, I think that the OP can work through her problems with the dog and her DD. Training on the part of the OP and DD will go a long way. A dag walker is a great idea. Maybe she can hire a neighbor kid to do it when they come home from school while her kids go to sports practices. Six years old is a tough age for a kid to have a dog and 6-months is a tough age for a dog. They are both babies.

One more thing that wasn't mentioned. The scratches and bruising on her DD seemed to come as a complete surprise to the OP. That means that she is leaving a 6-year old alone with the 6-month old puppy. From my own experience, that's a no-no. I had to learn it myself that allowing my 7-year old to play alone with the puppy was not good for the child nor the dog. My DD was playing with the puppy like a puppy and not like a human and was also getting herself scratched and bit. That unsupervised play needs to stop because all it is doing is reinforcing the wrong pack order for the puppy.

 

[Hannathy]

Folks in her signature the DD is 9 a big difference from 6 and old enough to deal with a puppy.

I agree they shouldn't give up all sports but if the kids need to go to sports then a PARENT needs to take over the responsibility they signed up for with the dog and exercise it. Kids don't need both parents hovering over all practices and games.

 

[tonga]

I'm firmly in the camp that says that puppies are not expendable and you don't get rid of them just because they are acting like puppies.

We have a 2 year old golden retriever, and she was really hyper and big on the biting to get attention when she was a pup. She was home in a crate all day, with my mom coming by mid-day to play with her for an hour or so, but it wasn't enough. We started to take her to doggie day camp at Pet Smart a few days a week, and it made all the difference. She'd come home from there exhausted, and on the days she stayed home she was still calmer. Now that she's almost 3 we don't take her there as often, but if we have plans to be out for the evening we take her to day camp during the day so she won't be alone all day and all evening.

Another suggestion is to watch how your DS acts around the dog to try to see why the dog only does this to your DD and not to DS. Is she giving the dog attention when it jumps up at her. Teach her to turn her back on the dog when it acts that way, so she's not "rewarding" it with attention. She needs to be involved in training, so that the dog knows she outranks him in the pack.

Good luck - I know the puppy stage is hard! But it's so worth it once the dog matures a little.