OT- Possible new addition to our family !

[mykidslovesdisney]

We have 4 beautiful children. DSS is Matthew 17, DS Jordan is 8 (adopted at 24 days old), DS Samuel is almost 7 ( adopted at 18 days old) and DD Isabel 4 yrs old (adopted at 2 days old). We are currently a foster family for our adoption agency. We have fostered 7 babies since Sept 06. We do the interm foster care from birth to placement. Longest has been 1 month. Anyways we received a call from our social worker asking us if we knew of any AA couple or mixed couples that would be interested in adopting a baby that has been in foster care since mid June. They have had no luck find him a forever family. They stated they had 2 families that both turned down the chance to be a family. One family did not want any bp contact- photos and update, the other family did not want to pay the agency fee since they were orginally trying to adopt thru DCF where adoptions are free. Our hearts broke when we heard that. We are currently deciding whether or not to adopt this little boy. We did TC a yr after DD was placed w/ us but w/ no luck. We have had 2 failed pregnancies in the last 14 yrs- unexplained infertility. Somehow this baby is tugging at our hearts. Our children are all on board for a new addition. DH said he will give us his answer on Monday. DS 7 states he want to be a forever family vs a foster family since the babies have to leave. I have been trying to talk to the DC that even if Dad says no to this baby that we will still have babies in our lives thru foster care. IF we do adopt this baby we will probably start to foster again in 1 1/2 -2 yrs. I do feel a little guilty about wanting this baby bc we are currently the only family that fosters for the agency and we have been extremely flexable with them. They are in the process of recertifying DS 8's foster family again. We would be a little tight on space. DSS lives w/ us everyother weekend. The boys would have to share their room w/ the baby once he outgrew his bassinette. We are not really concerned about the fees since the tax rebate is available. I haven't slept in 2 nights - my mind is going 100 miles an hr. Waiting till Monday is hard but IF it is a yes then the wait is alittle longer since we take off for Disney in 10 days. The foster family that is caring for him are willing to keep him till we get back. They are also heading on vacation w/ him too. I would take him earlier but I really don't think Disney is a great place for a 1 1/2 month old. It is doable but not what we had planned. Just waiting till we get back will be hard too!

If you read all this thanks for hanging in there! I am soo excited but it is another 2 nights to go till DH makes the decision.

 

[jenandkam]

I think this is fabulous!!!
I have been thinking about fostering and/or adopting for awhile now, but have not yet taken the plunge. I don't know if I am strong enough to let the kids leave after I've grown so attached to them. I think it takes a very special person to give so much of themselves.
I hope you and DH make a decision that will make everyone happy and fulfilled.
I'm curious though - why did it have to be an AA or mixed family? Is that something that is required to place a child of color? Just curious because I am a single, white mom with a mixed son. If I did foster or adopt I would want it to be a child of color so my son didn't feel that I was rejecting his ethnicity by bringing in a child who only looked like me. I'm not sure if folks who don't have mixed race families can understand those feelings, but I definitely have them!
Good luck!!!!

 

[mykidslovesdisney]

The birthparents requested the family type of the adoptive family. We are a mixed race couple. I totally understand your comment too. I would love a child even if he/she was purple! Our children are all different races- Perivan/AA, jamacian and our DD is our little 'united nation' she is Native american, italian,irish, PA Dutch, AA and Causician. We went to our agencies rally-a day when all depts are on display for every employee to learn about each department. My dd and I were there as adoptive/foster family representatives. The director of the agency had asked if I would attend a local church meeting to encourage more AA families to adopt. I said I would be happy to do so but have not anything back yet. We had such a good friendship w/ DS8's foster family that it encouraged us to be a foster family too. DS8 was their 1st foster baby- they were fostering for the agency while waiting to adopt- it was a new concept the agency was trying. We are also very close- considered as 'family'- to our 1st foster baby. He recently turned 6. We had considered our family complete but something is making us rethink it. DH and I are both from large family - he is 2 of 12 and I am 5 of 6. Our last little foster girl went to a single mom who had been waiting w/ the state to adopt a toddler. She waited 2 yrs and recently changed the age requested and was quickly paired up w/ our foster baby. We do miss the babies. It is a little hard but we have been on the receiving end and know who special it is to help 'make' a family. My kids are a little sad when they leave but know it is just a phone call till the next one comes.

 

[jenandkam]

Ahhh......I understand. There are people who think that a white person can't understand what it is to be a person of color enough to raise them - I've had that debate before for obvious reasons. My ex-MIL had those concerns after DH and I divorced. I guess I can see where the argument is coming from, but of course I could not agree less. I just feel that at the end of the day all we really want is someone to love and someone to love us back and make us feel safe. Obviously I don't think there is a person on the planet who could love or raise DS better than I.

I commend you and your family for choosing to do that for so many kids who would otherwise not have those basic needs.

It seems to me that you and your DH are not the type of couple who looks the other way when your feelings are telling you to do something. Here's hoping DH sees the light by Monday if this is something you really want, and it sounds like it is!!!

 

[ZPT1022]

what did you end up deciding?? If it were up to me I would adopt everything in sight- babies, cats, dogs, etc....... so I'm just curious what you all decided. How have you liked fostering?? We're in CT as well so I'm particularly interested in your experiences

*~*Becky*~*

 

[darlak]

Please let us know your decision. I'm a birth/adoptive/former foster mother. Our motto was "There's always room for one more." We stopped fostering because I wanted to return to work in my field (Child Protective Services). I'm now volunteer coordinator/case manager for our county CASA program. For me, it was time to move from one way of making a difference to another. Or at least, most days I think I'm making a difference. Then there are those days....but I had those in my 12 years as a foster mother as well.
May God's grace be with you whatever your decision.

 

[mykidslovesdisney]

Yes is the official decision. We are beyond thrilled. We have named him William Joseph. He will be home the day after we return from Disney. I spoke w/ his foster mom this morning. She said he was quite a screamer She is going to try to email me a photo. Also said we can visit but I am unsure if we will-- I won't be able to leave him!! We been tossing up the idea of bringing him w/ us to the world but I just don't think it is the best decision- he is so young. Plus he isn't missing out on anything. He will be going every year i do want to meet him but doing it after disney is okay too.

Thank you for all the wonderful comments and welcomes. We absolutely loved fostering. I am like the OP who commented on taking them all in. I would if I could. This one is really pushing the occupancy limit in our house. Good thing they are little for a while!

We spent the evening do a little shopping for him. DD is on a quest to locate the perfect blue blankie for him. She has been attached to her pink blankie since day 2. I told her that was the 1st thing I brought for her when I found out she was going to be a girl.! She loves that story. My mom went shopping and brought all the wrong sizes She said she would exchange them for the right size

To the ZPT1022 you are welcome to PM is you'd like. I love to get to know another dis addict like me. Maybe we can start a support group

Okay now 2 countdowns going- Disney and William! I guess I need to bring the calender to disney w/ me? Naaa, I don't want to keept track on how quickly my trip is ending. Ooh the shopping I can do there for him!

 

[MommyBoo!]

Congratulations! This trip is going to be hard for you - you're going to be having fun but you're going to be thinking about him....

 

[KMZOB]

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!!

 

[jenandkam]

I'm so happy for you and your family!
While I think it is probably wise not to bring William with you to the World, it is going to be a challenge for you. Try to relax and enjoy your vacation because your hands will be wonderfully full when you get home!

 

[isla bonita]

It sounds so exciting. Congrats to your family.

 

[aesalsa]

What a wonderful story and wonderful news! Congratulations on the new addition, and God bless you.

 

[portia9]

That is wonderful-congrats on your new little man!

Yvette

 

[LJRJR]

What a wonderfuld story. You must be an angel from heaven! Congratulations, now when you leave WDW you wont get depressed, look what you are going home to. Best of luck to everyone in your family, and have a great trip.

 

[Rustysmom]

Congratulations!!!

 

[terrypoohbear]

Congratulations!! I have an adopted son who is 4 now and for the 1st 3 months of his life, he stayed with a foster family from our adoption agency and they were so wonderful with and for him. God works miracles and you sound so blessed. I have always wanted to be a foster mom too, but I can't let go of a baby once they are in my arms. Have fun with all your kids!!