OT - please share your potty-accident experiences and advice PLEASE!

[PlaneJoy1]

While I agree that kids will do it when they are ready -- SOME will not be potty trained until they are forced to do so. They are ready - just not willing. They just don't want the hassle of having to remember to go potty, they would rather do it in their pants and let the adults deal with clean up.

What we finally did for one child was make his clean himself up. He was almost 4 and KNEW what the potty was all about. He just simply "didn't want to". He was put in the bathroom with a new set of clothes after he wet himself and when he was finished dressing himself - he could come join the rest of us. He tested us the first day - wet himselft several times. Each time, took him to the bathroom and he was there until he had himself presentable and hands washed. He got VERY frustrated, very quickly.

Second day - one accident, Third day - no accidents and is now potty trained.

I'm not saying this works for everyone, but it did for us. We put our foot down when we knew good and well he could do it and it worked out.

Good luck!

 

[crisi]

We had to resort to similar - a child who was physically ready, but stubborn and wanted to "stay a baby." But I think if you have one of these kids, you need to make sure its one of these kids - talk to your peditrician or a child psychologist and make sure your choice of intervention is appropriate. You don't want to punish a kid for poor bladder/bowel control that isn't their choice. You do want to make them responsible for their choices.

 

[Camno's Mama]

Just had to leave McDonald's Playland today because my little guy wet his pants! I feel your pain.

Just know that it doesn't last forever. I'm not sure that I agree with the whole "they're not ready if they're having accidents" thing. I think they get distracted and have to be reminded. It's the fake it til you make it thing. Eventually, they'll remember on their own without you reminding them. My little guy does great in the house and out in public for the most part. When he's playing out in the yard, which is a lot like the McDonald's thing, he forgets.

And he poops every time he sits on the potty because he hasn't quite figured out how to do it all at once. He doesn't want to sit still for that long!!!

My best advice, after working in a two-year-old preschool for years, helping kids learn to wear underwear is...don't use pull-ups! Use the thin character underwear during the day! You don't want something absorbent. Let them feel it when they have an accident. Make sure they use the potty before they go out and know where the bathroom is everywhere you go. Don't put them in diapers every time you leave the house. (A lot of people do that).

Use the diapers for sleeping only until they are dry when you take them off in the morning. And once you make the change to underwear...don't go back. Don't let them do it for a few days and then take it away because they are "failing". Let them keep trying and let them succeed.

And I completely agree with everyone else. Don't force it just because they turn 2 or because your friend's child that is the same age is ready. If they want to wear them and they have good bodily awareness...go for it! And praise them and don't make a big deal about the accidents.

Good luck! Don't worry too much...a little pee or poop isn't the end of the world!

 

[tazdev3225]

I am now working on potty training with grandkids. My DGD was 3 when we started to try. She had huge constipation issues. My DD (her mom) wanted to try the pullups. That lasted a day. DGD thought they were diapers. I put her in regular underwear, cheap kind, she was pee trained in 2 days. She realized that when she went she was wet. She also hated the potty chair. When we switched to the toilet it was easier. BM took a little longer because of the physical problems. Cheap underwear and accidents equal the trash can. She is almost 4 and we have the potty training and the constipation issues over with except for an occasional accident. Her brother just turned 2 and could care less if he is soggy or messy. Since DD is due in Nov with #3 I will wait until the spring with DGS and give it a try. If he balks we'll try again in a few months. When my DD was 2 1/2 she was bit by a spider and had a severe allergic reaction. She couldn't wear diapers because they irritated the bite. She was trained in 1 day, day and night. When they are ready its a breeze. If they are not it causes tension for everyone and takes longer because they will fight the potty.

 

[RMulieri]

While I agree that kids will do it when they are ready -- SOME will not be potty trained until they are forced to do so. They are ready - just not willing. They just don't want the hassle of having to remember to go potty, they would rather do it in their pants and let the adults deal with clean up.

What we finally did for one child was make his clean himself up. He was almost 4 and KNEW what the potty was all about. He just simply "didn't want to". He was put in the bathroom with a new set of clothes after he wet himself and when he was finished dressing himself - he could come join the rest of us. He tested us the first day - wet himselft several times. Each time, took him to the bathroom and he was there until he had himself presentable and hands washed. He got VERY frustrated, very quickly.

Second day - one accident, Third day - no accidents and is now potty trained.

I'm not saying this works for everyone, but it did for us. We put our foot down when we knew good and well he could do it and it worked out.

Good luck!

absolutely agree with you.DD refused to use the potty because of the eas e of just putting on a new pull-up.She would get so distracted by tv, toys etc.But the minute she soiled a pull-up she would drop what she was doing and go change herself.

 

[las3888]

Well, I just wanted to check in and say thanks for all the good words of advice. Potty training is such a mixed bag. To me, there are those kids who are trained so fast, and then there are others who just sludge along. To me, I can understand why that happens...it is a lot like learning to use a fork or to put pants on. It takes a lot of experience and practice until it gets perfected. I understand those who have posted that if they have had accidents after a few days, they just aren't ready. I understand what you mean...not sure I totally agree, but there is definitely a readiness factor that needs to be there. However, I have had too many kids that I know (friends, niece, nephew) who have resisted until the bitter end (almost 4) and it was just a matter of diving in. I don't see DS as coming to me ever and telling me he is ready to give up diapers. He doesn't have older siblings or much if any peer pressure or peers to help him 'decide' on his own either. So, we are forging ahead. I have pulled back and stopped twice now prior to this. I feel in my deepest mother's intuition that in this case to pull back now would not be the right thing.

We have had a lot of good successes. Yesterday, DS went both #1 and #2 for the first time outside of the house (at grandma's), and for the first time on a big potty (with a cushy seat adapter). He was very very proud of himself. He has had other good successes too, but then most days we have had about 1, maybe 2 accidents (it has been since Sat) that we took the diaper away completely (except at night). I just don't think stopping now would be the right message. He has done well, he's just isn't 100% (that's for sure).

Today, he did have an accident in the AM, but my new potty chart only rewards him when he comes to get me for potty (this is per my pedi's advice, and yes, pedi has checked him a few mos ago and given big green light for going ahead). So, he did try to get me just a while ago. He was standing there holding his wee wee. He tells me, look mom, I'm pushing on my wee wee! I said, why? Because I have pee and poo in there! Well, I rushed up and got him to the potty (he did resist a little). Then we had success. I told him what a great idea that was for him to hold it in like that etc.

I just have to say at least in my case with DS, things are happening, it's just like I said...it's like learning to use a fork...we keep trying and plugging along until we get really good at it. In the meantime, I just have to get used to dealing with accidents along the way. I think cheap underwear is a great idea. Right now we are using training pants. He has no clue the difference between that and regular underwear...to him when he has an accident, it dribbles down his leg and as he said this AM--it makes me feel hot. He knows and can feel it and I think that is all a good thing in understanding. The training pants just give us a little bit more absorption in the underwear, so therefore a little less on the pants, socks, shoes, and floor. Every tiny bit helps.

Also, I agree with another PP who just had an accident at the McDonald's play land. I think a big part for DS is that he is distracted. It just isn't fun to stop what you are doing and make time to go potty.

Thanks again for all your posts. Somebody really said it best...the last thing you do will be what works.

 

[bzzymom]

Last year, I had the same worries about being potty trained for preschool. I didn't push DD. Then in July, she started wanting to sit on the toilet to go, and she was out of diapers the next day. It was very quick. We put a pull up on her at night still. She has had maybe 5 accidents since last summer, usually in the bathroom, not getting her panties pulled down in time.

 

[mommapoppins]

While I agree that kids will do it when they are ready -- SOME will not be potty trained until they are forced to do so. They are ready - just not willing. They just don't want the hassle of having to remember to go potty, they would rather do it in their pants and let the adults deal with clean up.

What we finally did for one child was make his clean himself up. He was almost 4 and KNEW what the potty was all about. He just simply "didn't want to". He was put in the bathroom with a new set of clothes after he wet himself and when he was finished dressing himself - he could come join the rest of us. He tested us the first day - wet himselft several times. Each time, took him to the bathroom and he was there until he had himself presentable and hands washed. He got VERY frustrated, very quickly.

Second day - one accident, Third day - no accidents and is now potty trained.

I'm not saying this works for everyone, but it did for us. We put our foot down when we knew good and well he could do it and it worked out.

Good luck!

The thing that worked with our dd was showers. When she was 3 she hated showers, so if she pottied in her panties we had to get her cleaned up in the shower. It only took a couple of showers before she decided she didn't like showers and would rather go potty on the potty chair than have an accident and have to get cleaned up. Hopefully it goes as well with 2nd dd who is almost 3. This thread has made me decide it time to put her in big girl panties and just let her learn that way. She already tells me sometimes and she's been doing pretty well with pull-ups but I think its time for real panties.

 

[3mickeymom]

I carry a large plastic peanut butter jar in my car at all times. I have three boys who are now older, but I will not lie, there have been times when one of them really really needed to go and he has used it. Once, we were stuck on a bridge for two hours due to an accident. I was very glad I had that big jar for him!! As for potty training, it is hard. I wish you luck and patience.

 

[justhat]

My son is potty training and after about a week or so decided he did not like his potty chair or the potty seats for the real toilet. I guess cause no one else uses them here, so he wanted to be like us. Well he's small (25 lbs) so he doesn't fit on the real toilet so I sit him on it backwards. He fits perfectly this way and loves to watch the bubbles he makes in the toilet when he pees in it.

And while I know it works so well for many people, I don't totally agree with the wait till they're ready and it will happen in 1 day kinda thing. I think it's a process that needs to be learned, and if you can do it in a day now, you could have done in it a week a few months ago.

With that said, we started my daughter in underwear at school at 22 months (at the request of her teacher) and she was totally trained, day and night, at just under 25 months. No pressure on her. If she had an accident, we cleaned it up and that was that. No comments on it or anything. When we took her out, she often wore diapers, and also wore diapers overnight. After about 2.5 months of this (there were many potty successes, always when she was naked, but with underwear it was hit or miss) she seemed to just get that even with clothes on, you still use the potty and that was the end of the accidents. And that was even after taking her to WDW the week prior and having her in pull ups there all week.

So in that sense, yes, she seemed to suddenly be 'ready' and trained overnight. But had I not been putting her on the potty for the previous 2.5 months, would she have been ready at 25 months? I'm thinking no cause I really think she needed the months of exposure and practice.

Now my son, well, he's 21 months and pretty close to being day trained. Haven't thought about nighttime with him yet, and I think I'll wait till the summer on that. Months back, when he was 19 months, he decided he was not wearing diapers. Fine with me. But he also apparently didn't want to wear underwear or use the potty either. Not so fine with me. So after a week of him peeing all over the house, I forced the kid back into diapers. With my daughter, she'd tell us when she had an accident. My son, well, he just peed all over the room and went about his business.

So back into diapers he went, which was a huge struggle of holding him down to paste that diaper onto his body, then get him in some sort of outfit that he couldn't remove or he'd take his pants down to get the diaper off. He got over that after a couple of weeks, but again a few weeks ago, he decided he's not wearing diapers anymore. This time though, he's all about using the potty. It started on our Disney cruise last month because he wanted to be in the Mickey pool and I told him only big kids who use the potty can swim in there, babies in diapers need to stay in the ear. That day he peed on the potty.

Last week we took away the diapers at school and home, though he still uses them at night and I put one over his underwear when we go out, and he's been doing well, considering he's new to this and young. He has had many accidents of course, but this weekend he began telling us when he had an accident, and even telling us he had to use the potty before he had an accident. So he's getting there. I expect it will be another month or so before he's really trained, but again, no rush, no pressure. If he has an accident, we clean it up, no big deal.

My thinking though, is that it's way easier to train kids young, even if it takes months, because once they hit those oppositional toddler years, teaching them to do anything can be a battle. My hope with my son is that using the potty becomes 2nd nature to him before he hits that stage.

ETA: We also keep a potty in the car, called the Potette. It's a portable toilet that comes with plastic bag liners with an absorbant insert in them. Great for long car trips.

 

[TravelinGal]

My thinking though, is that it's way easier to train kids young, even if it takes months, because once they hit those oppositional toddler years, teaching them to do anything can be a battle.

I have to agree with this completely! At 28 months, DS was still pretty compliant. At 3 1/2, I'm sure we'd have had a real battle on our hands if he wasn't potty trained yet. He's certainly becoming more vocal and opinionated lately... He's still a 'pleaser', but he's becoming more and more stubborn - just like his dad!

 

[budbeerlady]

I will admit to being a briber. DD was perfectly able and halfway willing.

She loves Chucky Cheese, we told her if she stays dry/clean for the week we would take her the next weekend to Chucky Cheese. She didnt even wet once after she heard that. The best $20 I ever spent in that place.