OT: Parenting help needed 2 year old very high maintenance

[SalandJeff]

Sounds like she is just not ready yet. 2.5 is pretty young. My dd wanted to take gymnastics. She was in daycare full time at the time.

We tried gymnastics when she was 3.5. She really wanted to get out there and do it with the other kids, but just could not separate. Same as your situation, all the other kids went out with no problem. It was a large class. The school let me go out and sit on the side with her, but after a couple of weeks, they said that "all the other parents will want to go out and sit" blah, blah (it was their idea to start with, so it kind of annoyed me that they said this). So we just stopped going.

Fast forward 1 year and we tried again, at a different center. We go on Weds. so the class is about 8-10 instead of the larger Sat. classes. For the first couple of weeks she had a hard time going out there, but would go for a little longer each time. She loves it. She's not the best and can't always follow what the teacher is telling them to do. But she is having a lot of fun. Give her a year (or two!) and see if she wants to try it again.

 

[nessz79]

Thank you soooooo much for all of your replies!! You all have made me feel so much better. Thank you for telling me it is okay. I needed to hear that. I was just concerned because the other 2 year olds were following along and mine wasn't.

Don't worry about that . My first son was "high maintenance" ultra until he turned 3. Then, everything changed and he is now an angel. We get compliments on him from every adult who works on him. He is usually the most well-behaved child in a class. Go figure!

We didn't change the way we parented him, it was just a developmental change in him.

She is probably just a little shy. Until they are 3 or more, they don't have the verbal and reasoning skills to understand things like social groups, etc.

 

[nikkers]

Thank you for all of you kind words. You have all made me feel soooo much better. Sometimes it is so exhausting having a 'high maintenance' child. It is nice to know I am not alone, and it will get better.
I pulled my DD from dance class. Maybe in the next year or 2 she will be ready? I am definately okay waiting!

 

[labdogs42]

I'd pull her from the class. I have a spirited child, too. I feel your pain! This book is a great resource! Pick up a copy when you get a chance. It will make you feel WAY better and give you some great ideas about how to deal with your DD.

 

[scouthawkk]

DS did the same thing at that age...only with ice skating. He has been on skates since 16 months. He loved it, and as he got older, asked for more lessons. Right around 2 1/2 he said he wanted lessons (we asked, he said yes...many times) so we signed him up again. Well, once he got out there, he didn't want to do anything except throw himself on the ice and lay there. All the other kids were following the teachers, marching around on the ice, tossing the little stuffed animals and then going to pick them up. But not mine! So we skipped a class. He got really mad, threw a huge fit. So we went back the next week, and he did the same thing. Out of the 7 classes we paid for, I think he only really "skated" in one! That was the last round of skating for a while. But, now at 6, he is back on the ice, having a great time, and getting ready to start hockey skills classes in the spring. We still don't know what snapped in him that one round, but he's been fine since.

 

[design_mom]

Your DD sounds like my DD when we started gymnastics class at 3yo (which she *begged* to do because her cousin did them... and which she talked about all week, every week.)

She would not participate (at least, not in anything that she didn't feel like doing at that moment) and was disruptive to the class. We finished the session but did not sign up again -- and, in retrospect, we should have probably pulled her out mid-session.

She was/is still interested, so we signed her back up after she turned four and it has made *ALL* the difference. I'm not sure if it's because she's older now, or if she just understands that we will not continue if she doesn't participate/behave... but she's having a blast.

I think you should pull her out. If she's still interested in 6 months (or a year), then try it again.

 

[littleteapot]

I dont think you would be sending the wrong message to pull her out.
Shes 2.5yo. And forcing her to go when she obviously is having issues is just going to flag her (and you) as being the bad kid.
Try again next year.
Borrow dancing dvd's from the library is she wants to dance.

I agree with this one! If she is always disruptive, it isn't fair to the teacher or the other kids to keep her there. Six months can make all the difference. Try again at 3.

 

[*pixie*dust*]

I dont think you would be sending the wrong message to pull her out.
Shes 2.5yo. And forcing her to go when she obviously is having issues is just going to flag her (and you) as being the bad kid.
Try again next year.
Borrow dancing dvd's from the library is she wants to dance.

I think this is great advice. Maybe she just isnt ready right now.

 

[BeckyScott]

I just wanted to add-

Before you decide that she's disruptive and it's being unfair to the others, talk to her teacher. Sometimes we as parents see things differently. And maybe the teacher has had other students just like your daughter and she doesn't think it's a big deal. Not saying you shouldn't pull her out, but I'd get some feedback from the teacher first.

Another thing, the parents who sit back while their perfect kids are in class. We used to take taekwondo and the same thing happened there, and even some parents did the drop-and-run every time. I'm not a big fan of drop-and-run. Anyway, youngest DS has autism and even in the preschool level class he still wasn't blending in very well. I had spent some time talking to some of the other parents so they all knew what was going on, and they were very understanding. But at a certain point it became obvious that he needed a "para", he needed one at school so it was reasonable that he'd need one at taekwondo, and since there wasn't anyone available, I did it myself. Which of course put me out there on the floor looking like an idiot most of the time, but I was at a point where I just didn't care what anyone else thought. I noticed that when there would be new shy students, that the instructor would let a parent come out on the floor with the child for the first few lessons. Many parents balked at this, not so much because the child didn't need it, but because they felt silly or embarrassed to be out there looking silly in full view of the other parents. However, having said that, we did have a really great instructor who was willing to do whatever we needed so that DS could be included. I don't know if this is an option for you, but it's something you could consider.

It turns out it was a trick of course, because after a very short time I'd been convinced to take lessons myself to better help him. But I needed some exercise anyway....