OT: Opening presents at birthday party?

[nessz79]

My DS is having his first real birthday party with friends in a couple weeks (always just family before). My DH is Hispanic and we've been to a lot of Hispanic birthday parties and I've noticed that presents were not opened during the party. Growing up, we always opened presents at the party. Which do people do these days? I don't want to be considered rude so I'm clueless!

Thanks!

 

[EthansMom]

We've done (and seen done) both ways... opening and not opening at the party. IMO, it is FAR EASIER to not open at a kids' party. By putting off opening presents until friends are gone, the kids get more time to play together, parents can keep better track of who gave what present (for Thank Yous), kids don't get jealous of gifts given by others, and presents don't get lost/broken during the party.

 

[debraW76]

We've done (and seen done) both ways... opening and not opening at the party. IMO, it is FAR EASIER to not open at a kids' party. By putting off opening presents until friends are gone, the kids get more time to play together, parents can keep better track of who gave what present (for Thank Yous), kids don't get jealous of gifts given by others, and presents don't get lost/broken during the party.

I agree completely. It's fine either way but IMO easier if you wait until everyone is gone before opening for older children.

You wont be rude either way. Just do what is best for your family. Sometimes I intended to open presents but ran out of time and had to do it later. It is just what is best for your family/party.

 

[dolfinjuls]

I think if you are having a party outside of the home, it is definitely easier to wait to open presents until you're home. Most party places do not allow enough time to open presents plus pizza, cake, play, etc.

If you're having the party at home, time is more flexible and it might be easier to open presents during the party. I would wait to do presents last to make sure everything else gets done. And if you have enough time to open presents without rushing through them, then go for it!

 

[C&G'sMama]

We've done it both ways also. Especially when the kids were little we did not open the presents because we found it's hard on the other. My dear SIL is also hispanic and her family's tradition is to not open at the party. So do what's best for you and your sanity. We always thank the kids for bringing the gift, send thank you notes and give each child a "goody" bag pencils, cheap toys etc.

 

[nessz79]

Thank you! We are keeping the party relatively short (2 hours) so maybe we'll go without opening the presents...unless there's some lull.

 

[nessz79]

Also, how much free play time do you structure into a birthday party? We have a family friend who is good at face-painting and he's also going to lead some games. I'm unsure of how much free play time there should be.

Sorry, I'm so new at all this and can't seem to remember how anyone else's parties were! LOL

 

[ajk912]

If we have time, I prefer to open presents at the party that way you can do an "in person" thank you. IMO, if you open the gift and thank the giver immediately, it lessens the need for a thank you card if you never get around to sending them.

I always wonder for the parties that they don't open presents, and don't send thank you cards, I always wonder if they liked what I bought. If you don't have the moment of seeing the kid open the gift you picked out, you NEED to send a thank you card, IMO! Ok, rant over.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

I always opened presents at the party (US) and now living in the Bahamas the kids open presents at the parties. The other kids seem to like seeing the birthday child open their gift and seeing what other things s/he gets. A typical party is play (games, beach, coloring, etc), meal, cake, presents, and then play until it is time to go home. Opening the prensents more or less signal that the party is over. If the party is running over told time the parents stay for a piece of cake or the child leaves (sometimes the birthday child will open the leaving child's present for him/her to go).

ITA with OP about thank you cards!!! If giving child is not there to get a personal thank you, then send a card. Some will say send a thank you card regardless.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

Also, how much free play time do you structure into a birthday party? We have a family friend who is good at face-painting and he's also going to lead some games. I'm unsure of how much free play time there should be.

Sorry, I'm so new at all this and can't seem to remember how anyone else's parties were! LOL

Anywhere between 30 mins-1 hour...depending on the age of the children and what games are planned. the younger the children usually the shorter the attention span and more minimal the games. Bingo, musical chairs, pin the tain-(30 mins). Face painting with some games (treasure hunt, pinata, etc) closer to an hour. Kids can end up entertaining themselves too...have some large coloring books (detailed for the older kids) or board games aailable just in cast...or an art project like making book marks or door hangers.

 

[cinnamon-sugah]

At my DS last party, we played a game like hot potato for opening presents. Whoever had the "potato" got to give him a present and get a prize. I wrapped small action figures instead of doing junky treat bags. There were several upsides to this. First, I could SEE him opening the gifts and get pictures. Second, EVERYONE got to open something. Third, he could really see who the gifts came from and thank them. Also, I made sure everyone got their party favor. It was so much better than the usual frenzy.

 

[JacobsMommy11002]

We open them at the party. IMO children miss out on a great opportunity to show their appreciation and learn the social skills involved in being courteous to others, when they wait till the friends have gone home.

 

[AuroraBeauty]

For a 6 year old boy party, if the party is 2 hours you should plan on about 20 minutes of free play and then about 30 minutes of structured play/games. If you are doing face painting them do that while there is free play and each child can come one at a time. After structured play you should plan for hand washing and bathroom break before eating. Eating for about 20/30 minutes. After, the child finishes have wipes for hands and then let them go have free play until everyone is done -- max 30 minutes for food/cake/drinks -- then the last 20 minutes or so of structured play and/or face painting. Face painting can also be done after eating while waiting for everyone to finish.

As for opening gifts, that can take awhile depending on how many kids. I'm more for opening gifts at home but that's b/c I've been to many parties where at least one child (er., parent?) either forgot the gift at home or has to wait for payday before buying the gift or ordered it online and it hasn't come yet. DD just went to a party and the gift we ordered was backordered an even though scheduled to arrive in time it didn't. DD was in tears when the boy opened gifts and kept saying **NAME** where's your gift? The boy's mom was mortified and tried to let him know it's OK to just move on. But, they're kids. I had already told the mom (our neighbor) that it didn't arrive but we'd bring it over -- and sure enough UPS did a Saturday delivery while we were at the party -- when it arrived. But, it made for an awkward moment. I'd say that opening the gifts took about 20 minutes for 10 gifts and it was more of a race to hurry and open them so the birthday boy could go play. Also, you run the risk of the birthday child voicing his/her true feelings. I've heard lots of 'Oh, I already have that', 'This looks stupid', 'I don't like this', 'But I wanted ..... instead'. Honest thoughts but nonetheless makes a parent cringe.

Just my 4 cents. I wish you a great celebration!

 

[kacaju]

I have 3 girls, the oldest is 15 so we have had our fair share of Birthday parties.
If we have a home party (which we have mostly had) we ALWAYS open the gifts in front of guests.
I have 2 hour parties 2pm to 4pm on a Saturday. The kids come in they do a craft, they have cake we play a few *old fashioned* party games (pin the tail, hot potato, musical chairs etc..) Then they open the gifts. I don't understand how people think this is so difficult!?!

We have the girls sit in a circle and either play hot potato gift, so whatever gift the Birthday kid has in her hand when the music stops is the one she opens. They always read the card first (this gives me a chance to write who the gift is from) Or our new game is for them all to sit with their gifts and we go with whoever Birthday is next...we go through all the months until all gifts are opened.

When my kids were smaller I ALWAYS reminded them to be polite when opening the gifts and if we already have it we DON'T want to hurt the child's feeling who gave it to you. You say Thank you...and move on. Same goes if it is a gift you don't like.

I have had many comments from the guests on how much fun they have. The best was the little girl whose Birthday is a month after my daughters.
She asked me if she could have her party here!!

 

[canadianmom2three]

JMO, and I hope it is not offensive, but what is the point of the friends bringing gifts to the party, if the birthday child doesn't open them with the friends? IMO a birthday party is a time to celebrate with friends, and if that celebration includes gifts, they would be opened during the party. If I didn't plan to open gifts during the party, I would state on the invitation "no gifts please" (which we have done many times). I think it is waaaaaay too many gifts anyway, my kids have enough things already, all they really want is to have fun with their friends.

 

[mjkacmom]

I've found it to be regional - here in NJ, presents are usually NOT opened, especially if the party is out.

 

[mommyof2princesses]

I have lived in two regions...NY and NC. And I never knew people didn't always open giflts at a party. I love watching kids open presents and love how the gift giver gets so excited to have their gift opened and appreciated. They all love it...it is another activity at the party to them.

 

[PollyannaMom]

We always open gifts at the party. I figure that if people took the time to choose something special, they want to see you open it.

Our last party (age 8) was 2 hours, and we divided it up like this:
15 minutes (as they arrived) for a craft
15 minutes for the cake
1 hour for the entertainment
1/2 hour for opening gifts and playing with them

We set the order of opening based on a couple of kids who were getting picked up early, but I've been to parties (like others mentioned) where they did it in birthday order, and the kids really liked that!

 

[TammyLynn33]

CanadianMom I agree 100% about the gifting thing. For the past 3 years we have asked no presents and that donations be made to a selected charity that means something to my kids.

The kids dont need more stuff they learn about giving and it may make the other kids think a little when they have big parties of their own and expect tons of presents. Luckily my kid is always playing hockey on sats so we've missed the majority of parties there are so0 many and the cost of gifts..UGGGHH

 

[Annabelleasb]

JMO, and I hope it is not offensive, but what is the point of the friends bringing gifts to the party, if the birthday child doesn't open them with the friends? IMO a birthday party is a time to celebrate with friends, and if that celebration includes gifts, they would be opened during the party. If I didn't plan to open gifts during the party, I would state on the invitation "no gifts please" (which we have done many times). I think it is waaaaaay too many gifts anyway, my kids have enough things already, all they really want is to have fun with their friends.

Well said~ I was ready to post the same comment, then I read yours....

Ironically, my daughter is at a birthday party right now. I think she would be upset if her friend didn't open up the gifts she picked out for her. I know the saying is "it's not about the gift," but face it, yes it is...especially when your at a child's birthday party. They want to open them up as much as the friends want to see the gifts opened.