OT-No kindergarten this year

I am struggling with this. DD will be 5 on Oct 3, cutoff is Oct 15 and will be changing to Aug 31 next school year (if they had changed the cut off a year earlier, she would have to wait the extra year). She will always be the very youngest in her class but she is 100% ready for K (based on parent teacher conference and testing at her preschool).

My bigger concern is when the kids start turning 15-16 middle school/high school years. I would love to hear from parents that currently have "younger" kids in that age range to see what their experience is like.

If I do hold back DD, it would be in K or 1st. I wouldn't hold her back in preschool. I would rather have her spend an extra year learning more, not playing more.

That's my problem also. I want her to do kindy this fall and if need be, she can repeat kindy. I don't want to hold her back in elementary school. I am going to base my decision on how she handles K this fall. If she does well and exceeds, I will continue on with first grade. If she is struggling, I will let her repeat k again. I think that is all we can do! We have to give them the chance to try and see if they succeed or fail and go from there.
 
my DD is tall as well...she's the tallest in her class of all the ones actually going to K!
 
The cutoff date here is Sept. 1 and dd#2's b-day is Sept. 29. I knew well in advance that I didn't want to wait til she was almost 6 to start K. I got around it be homeschooling her for K through Christian Liberty Academy the same year she was in the 4yo preschool program. At the end of that year, when she technically should have been starting K, she was able to start first grade instead because she had already completed K, and I had documentation to prove it. She was basically a transfer student from a home school to a public school. They did make her take some tests to demonstrate her skills, and she scored a 98%.

My sister in law is doing the same thing now with her daughter who will turn 5 this Nov. and is stuck at preschool for another year. They are in a different district, so hopefully she won't have any trouble getting her daughter into first grade next year after homeschooling for K.

BTW, my daughter is finishing up second grade now and is doing great. Her teacher didn't realize how young she was until they got back the standardized test scores at the beginning of the year that list the child's exact age. (She was 5 yrs, 11 mos at the time). She said anything over a score of 100 is considered gifted, and Emily got a 136, so I don't think she's suffering from being the youngest in her class.
 
Hello! I have two sons. One with birthday July 20th, next with birthday July 18th. We "held" both boys back. The oldest (will be 15 in July) is not the oldest in his class. There are two boys older than him. He was more than ready, but I just felt boys need an extra edge. He has excelled in school, has done extremely well in sports, and has had no trouble. There was a "strange " year in fourth grade when he was more mature than other kids. But we just toughed it out, tried expanding his friendships to more kids, and he did fine. In two weeks he will be done Middle School. We have not had one problem. Honestly I think he is just older and more mature, and above and beyond peer pressure at this point. He just tried out for soccer yesterday (to start in fall) and the upper kids, all included him. Some of his other friends that are smaller, or just very "giggly" still, well they were not as accepted, and definately stood out. His class almost has a 2 year age difference in it though. Anyway DS is the tallest in his class, always has been, always will be probably. He is 6' 1" and weighs 177, so its funny at 14.

Second son is oldest in class by 2 weeks. There are actually 4 boys that all have summer b days, and two girls in his class. He is smoothly going right along where big brother did. His class seems to be even better because the "older" boys are all alike. Thrives in sports, friendships etc.

The cutoff for my boys was December 31st. Now along comes DD 8 years later. The cutoff is now August 1st. Her birthday is August 2. Not sure what to do with her. Sometimes as a girl it its by no means easy to be more mature (menstruating, developing) before others. Plus it can be hard for the girls to be taller than everyone else (read boys here) in upcoming grades. She is on track to be 6 feet herself. So not sure whether to argue her case or not. For us, the success of the boys is very rewarding, and I tell everyone I know, I have no regrets. But a girl is different. Our kids go to private school, so I can probably easily push for one day. But after the success of my sons, I am hoping my daughter will be the same. Honestly though if the cutoff had remained Dec 31, I would probably have sent her.

So what I am going to do is call the school and ask them what the ages of the other kids in her class will be. If there will be a lot of "late" meaning summer birthdays in her class, then I will let her go. But if for example every other girl in her class has birthdays by like March, I really don't want her that behind age wise. As a parent of having experienced the school thing so far, I do think you need to look beyond where they would fit in in kindergarten. Think about athletics, size, driving. Actually being a year older to make a college decision, all might be a lot better. My kids have always had the opportunity to "go up" for Math and Reading, if their abilities were leading that way, and could be with rest of class for everything else. (we choose not to do this when oldest was asked because I didn't like the advanced teach...she yells, so I said "no" )

I don't know anyone who regrets holding their kid back. I do know several who have said that once we hit the middle school years, they wish they had held them back. It's too late once they are in 6th grade to hold them back for social reasons.

Good luck to the OP and everyone else. It's a tough decision.
 

my oldest missed the cut off by 1 week. She is now 13 and now I can say I am glad she had to wait.
School gets much tougher as they get older. This was the first year (7th grade) she actually struggled with her schoolwork.
When she was 4 going on 5 I remember talking to a friend about how *horrible* it was that she had to wait the year.
My friend whose child was getting ready to go to college that fall looked at me and said, don't rush her, you will have one more year with her before she goes to college.

I have never forgotten that, and it is so true, she *only* has 5 more years left here at home before college, had she gone a year early I'd have only 4 more years of her being here!! YIKES!!
This is all good. She will be the first of her friends to drive. I will be sending a 19 year old off to college, not a just turned 18 year old who will be away from home while being an *adult* for the first time.
 
I'm certainly not saying to wait til the end of the school year to say anything. Just give the teacher a couple of weeks to get to know your child, and do the begining of the year assessments. Then if you are getting the feeling your child isn't getting enough contact the teacher.
The problem is that so many parents say these things upon first meeting me and then when the child enters my class, they are not as advanced as the parents have led me to believe. If your child has been evaluated by an oustside source, I would definately present that to the teacher. We love having information like that.
Remeber, you know your child best, but Kindergartens around the country can differ greatly. I would try to talk to someone at the school about what goes on in Kindergarten. Kindergarten is much more academic than many people are aware of.

So you don't think my mother should have informed my Kindergarten teacher that I could read, add, and subtract? I'm honestly wondering. As for the outside testing, that's a little unnecessary in some cases. She could have grabbed the nearest book and given it to me to read in front of her, if she wanted to, or asked me to do a few math problems on the spot. I just think it's crazy not to say ANYTHING about a child's strengths OR weaknesses to a teacher. Then again, I guess my opinion doesn't count since I won't be sending my child to school...partly because I think it's a little unnecessary for someone else to try to get to know my child and 29 others when he could already be learning... I was just curious what you thought about my situation as a 4 year old entering K.
 
This is all good. She will be the first of her friends to drive. I will be sending a 19 year old off to college, not a just turned 18 year old who will be away from home while being an *adult* for the first time.


Okay, this thread is really making me wonder...
I was "only" 18 years and 5 days old when I went off to college. I got straight As my first quarter, and didn't do anything stupid or self-destructive, either. I guess the way I see it, if I do my job right, I won't have to worry so much about my son going off to college and doing the right thing. People like to see that as naivete, but I can assure you I know firsthand how possible it is. I guess I just give older teens more credit, assuming they had appropriate guidance in their formative years.:confused3
 
In Missouri our cutoff is July 31. DS1 has a June 26th birthday and will go when he is 5. DS2 has an August 12th birthday and will have to wait until he is 6. If both of them had late or early birthdays I would feel better, but they will be 2 years apart in age, but 3 years apart in school.

When I was in school it was an Oct 31 cutoff, so I had friends that didnt turn 5 until October.
 
Okay, this thread is really making me wonder...
I was "only" 18 years and 5 days old when I went off to college. I got straight As my first quarter, and didn't do anything stupid or self-destructive, either. I guess the way I see it, if I do my job right, I won't have to worry so much about my son going off to college and doing the right thing. People like to see that as naivete, but I can assure you I know firsthand how possible it is. I guess I just give older teens more credit, assuming they had appropriate guidance in their formative years.:confused3


Every freshmen I met the first month of college was "only 18". Some of us were actually 17, soon to turn 18. That's the norm around here as far as I know. Does this mean that in 10 years 19 will be the average age of a freshman entering college? Most of us that were "only 18" managed it just fine, including most of the parents on this board I'm assuming.
 
I didn't say outside testing was necessary, I just said if you have it give it to the teacher. I thought I remembered someone mentioning it in a previous post. Also, most preschools give some sort of progress report.
I also didn't say you shouldn't tell a teacher about your child's strengths and weaknesses. I should have written a bit more clearly, but I was worried my post was getting too long. As there are many here who seem to have upcoming K students I will clarify again. Most of the time when parents tell me their child can "read" I soon find that said child can recite a few books they have memorized. The same goes for many children whose parents say they are "gifted". That is why my advice is to give teachers a chance to get to know your child. The first couple weeks are all about setting routines, so it's not like your child will be missing some major instruction. Then you could contact the teacher and see what she and you can do to accelerate your child's learning whether they start early or not.
BTW I am not suggesting that any of your children are not really reading. As you all seem literate I'm sure you can tell the difference, but many parents cannot and that is why it is hard to believe a parent's assessment of their child.
 
when I went to K the cutoff in FL was different I was 4 and turned 5 in Nov. I also started college at 17 turning 18 that fall...big bummer, I couldn't even get into TJ's after 2am since I wasn't 18!!
 
Also it seems to me that almost everyone now a days thinks their child is , "GIFTED." Well my kids were what I considered average, normal, like honestly most of the population. They both tested in the 95 % for the nation on standard testing. What this has to do with peer pressure, or maturity?????? Nothing!!!

Sending kids on to school early, or homeschooling etc is a difficult decision. No one can foresee what the future may bring. Just because your child is "above average" now, does NOT mean this will stand the test of time. Albert Einstein flunked in school, was socially stunted, yet considered one of the greatest minds in our history. Personally I am striving to raise good people, in the best environment I can. If they are in college just turning 19 instead of just turning 18, I don't think it will matter. I want them to be able to have succss in life, in the beginning of school, outside of school, and in college, and as adults. There is life beyond Kindergarten.
 
Our cutoff date with our public school was September 1st. My daughter's birthday is September 5th. When I phoned the school, they told me that my daugther had to go through IQ testing and other testing that only 2% of the kids in the NATION pass. Once she passed all of this, she STILL had to go to summer school.

I then phoned my local Catholic school, had her tested (they tested every child entering kindergarten) and she's just finishing up her kindergarten year. Yes, she's the peanut of the group and is still only 5, when other kids this year turned 6. She will turn 6 when all of the other kids will turn 7...Oh well...not that big of a deal to me.
 
The dates are very strict in my state as well. The cut-off is Oct.1 and my DD will turn 5 (kindergarten age) on Oct. 4th. I would have to send her to private school for two years if I wanted to enroll her early.

I was stressed about this because DD seems very ready. She knows alphabet and has pre-reading skills. Plus this means another year of daycare. But last year I had twin boys. DD has done great with the additional to the family but now I think having her at home for an extra year won't hurt anything. My BFF started her little boy this year. He seems so big now!

I only have two issues with DD staying home 1) she is too big for some of the daycare procedures--she doesn't need a nap, she knows most of the stuff they teach 2) she will be older (chronologically) than most of the kids in her grade and able to do some stuff first like drive...first is never good for that!
 
I am not saying there is anything bad about just being 18 and going off to college, yes most of us were. I was just trying to point out that I have her one more year at home before she goes off to college. When you have a 4-5 year old you don't always think that far ahead, I never did until my friend whose *baby* was going off to college pointed it out to me.
They grow up so fast that now I am VERY thankful I have 5 more years of her being home instead of 4 years.

And does it hurt to have her be home that first year as an adult and still be in HS?
I'll let you know in 5 years, right now I am thinking it is a good thing.
 
I have three girls, all with late august, late september birthdays, we live in NJ, our cutoff is Oct 1. My oldest will start kindy in the fall, but she could of gone last year. I was honestly not the least bit worried about how she would of done in Kindy, but I truely believe that the age gap only widens as they get older. Plus, my thought is why push them ahead, they have the rest of there lives to do school and work, a extra year as a kid will not hurt her. She was not the only kid we know held a year, we have 9 friends, in the same situation, only one person sent her kid, and she fully admited it was so she did not have to pay for daycare another year. I did lots of research, lots of talking to teachers, and parents, I never talked to a single person who regretted holding there kids, but almost everyone I talked to who sent there child would say, well, if I had held so and so a year, I bet they would of done better in this area.
And, yes, I believe it really affects a college age student when they are the youngest, the research I have done has found that 90% of college freshman had a very hard time adjusting to the classes, freedom, the whole life style change, depression was much higher that first year, drinking much higher, drugs, all of that, and the group it is highest in is the young freshmen. I know, a lot of it is how you raise your children, but I also live in the real world where I realize that no matter how I raise my children, they are going to be kids, who try things, and I want to give them the best advantage to life I can. I feel that advantage is by making them slightly older before all of those grown up things are throw upon them.
It really comes down to what YOU feel most comfy with, and you know your child best. Good luck in what you decide!
 
I wonder what will happen to the average age of students starting college. My DD turned 8 in February. You would think that since our cut off is Sept. 30th that she would be in the older half of the class. It turns out that she is not. In fact more than half of the kids turned 8 before Christmas break. Technically that is only three months into the age cut off. Almost every summer birthday had already turned 8. I see some kids (clearly not all) with birthdays at the end of the school year and they seem very immature. Clearly every child is different but I am very happy that my DDs are supposed to be in the older group since that actually makes them younger than average.
 
Take it from a mom who has a DD with a birthday on Aug. 17th, be thankful that someone else made that decision for you. My DD7 went to school two weeks after turning 5 and I have regretted my decision to send her everyday. She struggles to just stay on grade level. She is also a great deal immature to her classmates. I wish I had listened to my to inner voice and kept her home for an extra year. I have asked the school to retain her and they won't even consider it, you know that whole "No Child Left Behind" initiative. It lowers their statistics, so we work hard at home, and she has opted to go to Summer School this summer, so she is ready for 3rd grade, I am very proud of her for making this decision, she does see her own struggles as difficult and she doesn't like to struggle. Good Luck! I hope you will be ok with their decision.
 


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