OT: New York, son not into it :(

[ebtbmom]

I'm thinking about doing a last minute Easter weekend up to NYC. DS and I have never been (DH many times) and I think it would be great fun! He's totally not into it, he's actually said that he'd rather stay home with my mom because:
1. he doesn't want to get mugged
2. it's too big and takes a long time to get anywhere
3. it's dirty and it smells
4. there's nothing he's interested in there.

Don't ask me how he knows all of this seeing as how he hasn't been!

Anyway, I feel bad about DH and I going without him. I feel like every travel experience is fun, but also a learning experience and NYC is a huge learning experience. Will he be missing out on a great opportunity if we leave him behind? Will he just make us miserable if we drag him along? I think that once he's there he might like it, but you never can tell.

Of course, me and DH could have a great time getting to experience fine dining and art museums, something we couldn't enjoy with DS along.
What's everyone's opinion?

 

[momofrrr]

I think I would sit him and down and show him everything there is to do and if he is still set on not going then go and enjoy a nice, grownup, weekend. I would totally love that!

 

[kimmylaj]

is he into video games? there is the nintendo store.....
seriously i think he would love nyc, there is nothing like it.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Geez, where did he get his NYC knowledge, 80's movies??! It's much more than getting mugged, and it's not really a "dirty" city anymore. Cabs can take you anywhere you want to go, and quick! NYC is a very cool place that has something for everyone.

Is it just that he wants to stay home? Friends, girlfriend, etc?

 

[SmallWorld71]

Well, I suppose it depends on the kid, but my DS11 loves NYC! We have relatives who live in Brooklyn and stayed with them this past summer. Some of DS' favs included: visiting the Statue of Liberty, The Museum of Natural History, walking over the Brooklyn Bridge, eating dinner in Chinatown, seeing the sights in Central Park.... There is TONS for kids that age in NYC! There was so much more that DS would have loved to do that we didn't have time for.

Funny he should mention safety. Because of having family there, I have been to NYC many times over the years. The overall feeling of safety in the city is so much better than it was when I was a kid and the city is so much cleaner! The people were so polite. Unlike in Disney, my children and I were offered a seat EVERY time we boarded public transportation and I don't have any really little ones. The only thing that my DH and kids felt was a little overwhelming at first, was the sheer height of the buildings. They were constantly looking up while walking! I didn't feel any less safe than an any other city (and more so than in some.)

I would do a little research based on his interests. There is something there for everyone.

 

[Zeebs]

I am probably what you would call mean, as I would put him in the car/airplane and say tough it is a family trip, you can come and enjoy it.

I am sure he will have a great time, even some of the museums are well set up for kids.

Good luck with your decision.

Kirsten

 

[luvmy3]

Some people are just not big city people and I can totally relate to your ds. When my kids or dh say lets go to the city I never want to go, but when we do I end up loving it (what we do, not the city). However since your ds is 11 I would tell him its a family vacation and there is so much to do and see that he is bound to love it. Take him to the Ripley's believe it or not museum and Madame Tousseau's wax museum

 

[brymolmom]

I would bring him (unless you WANT just a dh and you weekend - those are good too). Kids really shouldn't have much say in family vacations, IMO - or you'd miss out on a ton of fun stuff that they just don't 'get' until they're there and having a blast!

 

[okeydokey]

I am probably what you would call mean, as I would put him in the car/airplane and say tough it is a family trip, you can come and enjoy it.

I am sure he will have a great time, even some of the museums are well set up for kids.

Good luck with your decision.

Kirsten

Me too. My 14 year old nephew didn't want to do a couple of things our families had planned on our last vacation, but ended up enjoying them a lot.

At 11 he doesn't get the power to decide the family vacation.

 

[woodkins]

I'm thinking about doing a last minute Easter weekend up to NYC. DS and I have never been (DH many times) and I think it would be great fun! He's totally not into it, he's actually said that he'd rather stay home with my mom because:
1. he doesn't want to get mugged
2. it's too big and takes a long time to get anywhere
3. it's dirty and it smells
4. there's nothing he's interested in there.

QUOTE]

I grew up just outside of NYC and still live in the suburbs of it & I am not sure how old your son is, but his reasons are all waaaay off base and incorrect.

1. Crime is waaaay down in NYC, I am 33 and have never been mugged nor have any of my friends and there were many late nights in areas we probably should not have been walking around in after a night of "fun"

2. You can get anywhere in NYC very quickly, probably much faster than jumping in your car and driving in NC. You can walk, take the subway, cabs etc. The subway is very safe (I take my 7 yr old dd on it by myself all the time). NYC is actually pretty small in area which is why you can walk from one place to another relatively quickly. The streets are designed in a grid pattern so it is also easy to navigate.

3. NYC is not the NYC you see in the movies. It is not dirty, it is a city. Yes it smells, but not like garbage, more like hot dog and food carts!

4.Not sure exactly where you live, but if he has things he is interested in at NC, there is no way there is nothing he is interested in at NYC. There are all types of museums, central park, the central park zoo, NY aquarium, FAO schwarz, nintendo world store, sony interactive museum, south street seaport, broadway shows and amazing restaurants!

I hope you bring you son an show him that there is a world outside of his normal life and that it is okay to try new things.

 

[sk!mom]

I'm thinking about doing a last minute Easter weekend up to NYC. DS and I have never been (DH many times) and I think it would be great fun! He's totally not into it, he's actually said that he'd rather stay home with my mom because:
1. he doesn't want to get mugged
2. it's too big and takes a long time to get anywhere
3. it's dirty and it smells
4. there's nothing he's interested in there.

Given the fact that several of his reasons are irrational, I would make him go and plan things that he would enjoy. I would be concerned that he is so close minded at such a young age.

 

[ebtbmom]

Given the fact that several of his reasons are irrational, I would make him go and plan things that he would enjoy. I would be concerned that he is so close minded at such a young age.

I know I opened this up and posted my question and asked what people thought, but I was wondering if he would really miss out on a great learning experience by not going to NYC if I left him home. I didn't really want my kid criticized! I wasn't viewing him as being closed minded, but rather having a pre teen (11, nearly 12) quirky attitude that's probably just a phase that he'll outgrow. He's enjoyed, and wanted to go on, our trips to LA, Philadelphia, Washington, Bahamas, etc. For some reason, NYC doesn't seem to appeal to him.

I don't usually let him opt out of family vacations, but this isn't a real, planned out family vacation. I had a little $ left over from DLR and literally, asked DH 2 days ago if he wanted to do this. It's kind of last minute, spur of the moment (for us anyway!) so that's why I wasn't insisting that he go.

 

[ebtbmom]

Geez, where did he get his NYC knowledge, 80's movies??! It's much more than getting mugged, and it's not really a "dirty" city anymore. Cabs can take you anywhere you want to go, and quick! NYC is a very cool place that has something for everyone.

Is it just that he wants to stay home? Friends, girlfriend, etc?

GIRLFRIEND?????

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I sure hope not anyway

 

[frndshpcptn]

New Yorker here -

I think he should definitely come and see what we are about.

The city is safe - as safe as any other metropolitan city in the US. I walk around by myself everyday and many of my friends have kids here and all are just fine.

As far as big, you can tell him that Manhattan is 1/2 the size of Disney World - it just seems big because of the tall buildings and larger-than-life reputation

I love it here - I hope he decides to give it a shot - it's a great place to visit.

 

[balletmom97]

I don't see where OP mentioned DS's age...unless he is a young adult (16+) with a job, who can care for himself while you are out of town, I would tell him it is not his decision.

Of course, I am known in some circles as a "mean mom".

Our standing rule is that no one person gets to dominate the trip with their wants and needs...and that includes whining/pouting about not wanting to be there!

Everyone picks ONE thing that they really would like to do/see and we schedule those first. Then we fill in based on general interest, schedule and cost. No one but my son really wanted to spend 3 hours watching the blacksmith at Colonial Williamsburg, but it didn't kill anyone. (Yes, at a point it felt like it might, but I followd the "no whining" rule!)

It is never too early to learn the art of compromise.

 

[Zeebs]

He is 11 according to the OPs signature.

I don't think he is closed minded, but I am a big believer in trying things once. If he doesn't like it he doesn't have to go back would be my view on it.

Again good luck.

Kirsten

 

[disykat]

I would bring him (unless you WANT just a dh and you weekend - those are good too). Kids really shouldn't have much say in family vacations, IMO - or you'd miss out on a ton of fun stuff that they just don't 'get' until they're there and having a blast!

I agree. My kids have been nay sayers on almost every trip we've taken at that age. My youngest was 13 when we went to NY and WDC and he hated everything. Especially amusing was his opinion that dh and I were going to "get us all killed" because we looked like tourists. He didn't want us to do anything where we looked like we weren't natives - a bit hard to do when you've never ridden the subway, don't know your way around without a map, etc. (This was ds -, this was us - obviously in it for the attention.)

I remember my parents having to drag us places as well. I really appreciated all the places they took us - though I probably didn't show it at the time.

 

[aussietravellers]

We are heading to NY for the first time in Sept before our trip to WDW. We are SOOOO excited, including my DS . My DS saw a clip on NY in a travel show a year or two ago and ever since he has been really wanting to go. In the show there was a story was on FAO Schwarz! He tells people he is going to NY to a huge toy store where he can make his own matchbox car

I have also just bought him this puzzle, like a jigsaw but it isn't flat, its built up. Anyway its of the Empire State Building and has added to the excitment of the trip as we will go to that building.

Anyway you could find some video footage of NY, maybe on youtube or trip advisor, showing cool kid orientated things in NY, like FAO Schwarz, there is a big ToyRUs too I believe too, there is the Bronx Zoo (If he likes Zoos) or the Zoo in Central Park, the museums (the natural history museum looks amazing!). I would find something that he likes, find video on it and show him, that may change his mind. These images or thoughts he has in his head, he must have read or seen something to put them there, so maybe you could find some recent published articles online and show him the safety of NY currently, if he can see for himself, information to change his mind that may help too. Good Luck with it

One quick question on the NY subject and sorry to hijack the thread. I've been told that the natural history museum in NY is the museum that was in the Night at the Museum movies, is that correct?
If it is, OP, that may be another thing you can show your son, how cool to see the museum that was in that movie.

 

[ebtbmom]

I agree. My kids have been nay sayers on almost every trip we've taken at that age. My youngest was 13 when we went to NY and WDC and he hated everything. Especially amusing was his opinion that dh and I were going to "get us all killed" because we looked like tourists. He didn't want us to do anything where we looked like we weren't natives - a bit hard to do when you've never ridden the subway, don't know your way around without a map, etc. (This was ds -, this was us - obviously in it for the attention.)

I remember my parents having to drag us places as well. I really appreciated all the places they took us - though I probably didn't show it at the time.

It must be the age, because he wasn't like this when he was younger. Lately he doesn't feel like going many places. We take several trips a year though, so maybe he just doesn't love to travel like me and DH do, and I can handle him having a difference of opinion. Even at home he tends to be a little more of a homebody than I am. Like right now, he's complaining about having to go to a shoe store for new shoes for him! Right now, as I'm typing!!!

 

[ebtbmom]

We are heading to NY for the first time in Sept before our trip to WDW. We are SOOOO excited, including my DS . My DS saw a clip on NY in a travel show a year or two ago and ever since he has been really wanting to go. In the show there was a story was on FAO Schwarz! He tells people he is going to NY to a huge toy store where he can make his own matchbox car

I have also just bought him this puzzle, like a jigsaw but it isn't flat, its built up. Anyway its of the Empire State Building and has added to the excitment of the trip as we will go to that building.

Anyway you could find some video footage of NY, maybe on youtube or trip advisor, showing cool kid orientated things in NY, like FAO Schwarz, there is a big ToyRUs too I believe too, there is the Bronx Zoo (If he likes Zoos) or the Zoo in Central Park, the museums (the natural history museum looks amazing!). I would find something that he likes, find video on it and show him, that may change his mind. These images or thoughts he has in his head, he must have read or seen something to put them there, so maybe you could find some recent published articles online and show him the safety of NY currently, if he can see for himself, information to change his mind that may help too. Good Luck with it

One quick question on the NY subject and sorry to hijack the thread. I've been told that the natural history museum in NY is the museum that was in the Night at the Museum movies, is that correct?
If it is, OP, that may be another thing you can show your son, how cool to see the museum that was in that movie.

I bet it would be cool to see the museum. He loved the movies! Thanks for the suggestion, I had forgotten about that.