Ot Need Some Advice On Teacher

[livie1205]

ok i just need a little feedback ....i will try to make it short, my son 10 is in 4th grade and he changed schools during the school year, he has never been a trouble maker or bad kid...well as soon he started in this class he started gettting bullied by a few kids in this class,i spoke with the teacher a few times and the guidance lady and nothing was done well the other day one of the kids started in on him...your shoes are from goodwill and your clothes are from the dump...on and on and he told her to shut up and the teacher gave him a referral...and said NOTHING TO THE OTHER KID ..i did ground him because he should not have done it, then the a day later a few of the kids were talking about sex (they just start sex ed) and one of the kids tells the teacher it was just my son (he cant talk to himself) so she gives him another referral and says if he gets another one he will get suspended from school! a forth grader who was never in trouble befor this... so today the teacher says he was talking about constapation lol with some kid and another kid says to him your fat and constapated (he is not fat) so he tells the teacher and HE gets in trouble for talking about constapation! i told her in was NOT ok for some kid to call him overweight and she said well he should not have been talking about constapation! i am soooo mad right now..what should i do...i dont want this to effect his schoolwork...also i think the teacher is mad at me because my son was having trouble with his writing and i asked her to look into it and she said she was to busy so i spoke to the principal and she had him tested and did find a issue.

 

[TENIA66]

I would very clearly state to the principal the above issues, realize that you may not be informed accurately regarding the status of the other children's punishment as they can technically only discuss your own child's disciplinary action. Be sure to let the principal you want to know the schools bullying and harassment policies and what you can expect in the future regarding these matters. Ask her if your obtaining a lawyer to ensure an adequate and fair school record as well as protection from bullying and harassment from both teachers and students would help.

 

[livie1205]

thank you. also the teacher DID tell me that the other kids did not get punished because THEY said it was just my son...keep in mind the teacher did not witness or hear any of this.i have complained befor about the bullying and nothing was done and the teacher told my son she didnt want to hear it.

 

[TENIA66]

generally principals run from words like "bullying" "harrassment" "attorney" "school board"..............

 

[wdwfamilyinIL]

I had a similar incident with my middle child last year at school. I was getting a lot of reports from my oldest child that he was always seeing my middle son get hit, or kids making fun of him. He is a little delayed for his age, but that is no excuse. Like your son, we had one note after the other, and even had to go into the office and talk with the principle because it was my son who was in trouble. I want to start by saying you know your son, and stand true to your ground. When we went into the principle I told her what I was being told, and about all of the reports that were coming back to me, and I asked how it was my child who was always being in trouble. I even went further to ask if she promoted bully like behavior in her school. Of course she said no, so I asked why nothing was being done to the other children. She tried to say that she wasn't aware, so again I reminded her of what was going on. She never did admit to anything that day, but when we left I told her that if this behavior went on I would be going to the school board, and I would keep going higher up until the matter was corrected. Needless to say, I havn't heard of anything else. While there was always some issues with the teacher, things calmed down there a lot. My oldest started seeing other kids get in trouble for picking on his brother.
I personally think teachers have their favorites, and there is nothing that we can ever do about that, but when they cross they line hold your ground. Nothing gives them the right to treat your child that way, and if they didn't see it with their own eyes then how can they disipline your child?

 

[livie1205]

thats just it...they didnt expect me to stand my ground..i know my son, we are very close and i know he is not perfect (to me he is lol) but i know this lady was crazy when she said HE was the only one...out of a whole class of 10 year olds? come on now...he has not had this issue until now, also i told her that he is starting to have hormones so they are going to talk about these things..i just had THE TALK with him and just told him not to talk about those things with little girls...but she also said well i split the kids up in class but what she did was put the other 2 kids at other tables with other kids and put my son in the back of the room alone!does she not know this is going to effect him as far as the way he feels about himself....i am so upset.yeh gets into a little trouble every now and then but he is a sweet kid and i teach him good morals and to tell the truth...his feelings are really hurt...i dress him nice and his shoes are very nice...i know how this hurts i was very poor when i was growing up and my parents did the best they could and my kids are way better off then i was and they are NOT snobs..

 

[Merriwind]

Definitely sounds like you need to move beyond the teacher in dealing with this. I would try the principal or AP asap. Good luck!

 

[Nanu57v]

Definitely sounds like you need to move beyond the teacher in dealing with this. I would try the principal or AP asap. Good luck!

I agree!

 

[CampbellScot]

You should make an appointment with the principal. Be very clear and concise about the issues you are having in regards to your son. Don't call his teacher crazy, don't go in "complaining" about the teacher having favorites. You need to go in with very clear statements about your displeasure with the current situation in regards to your son and his sudden "trouble maker" status and the steps you are willing to take to correct the situation. Make it clear that you are aware that your son is not blameless in the situation and that you have dealt with his misbehavior at home. I would go in with a pen and paper and ask the pricipal about their bullying and harrassment policies. Ask him/her what the next step should be after meeting with him/her if the problem is not corrected.

Basically, you need to let the principal know that you aren't just complaining. You are looking for solutions and are willing to go above his/her head if need be. As someone stated above, schools tend to listen closely when issues of bullying policy, harrassment, lawyers and school boards are brought up. These things are meant to be threats either. You need to be willing to go all the way if you feel your child is being bullied or unfairly treated and the school is doing nothing about it.

It sounds like your son is pretty normal in regards to conversations...my nephew talks about gross things all the time and he is 14. I'm sorry that people are saying hateful things to him. That is very hurtful and he shouldn't feel unprotected and harrassed at his school.

good luck!

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

I would possibly request that he be moved into another classroom.

Ordinarily, I would never offer that advice (I have a 12 yr old who immediately goes to the "teacher is mean" defense when he gets in trouble), but I have an acquaintance who ultimately had to have her daughter removed from a teacher's classroom. Some other parents were nasty to the Mom about it, but to be honest, some things go beyond just a normal personality conflict. The little girl was stocky (not overweight, just linebacker like, as my oldest DD is), but short. So she was in like a size 14 pant, but they were too long. This teacher would tell her she looked sloppy because her pants were cuffed! Anytime she had a problem with the work or another student, she was sent to the principal's office. She was also told numerous times when she asked questions that "a five year old could understand this, is there something wrong with you?" At the parent teacher conference, the teacher told her mother than unless she could stop being such a "problem" she would have to repeat 3rd grade. It got to the point where she would actually throw up before school because she was so nervous. This child had straight A's in second and has had straight A's since this time period (she is now in 8th grade). She has never again been written up for anything in school. She had no problems once she was moved, either.

It sounds like for whatever reason this teacher may have a problem with your son. As I said, I am one to always give the teacher the benefit of the doubt, but something like the constipation thing??? Spare me. The other kid can insult your son and then he gets in trouble for talking about constipation?? Unreal.

I agree.....talk to the principal and definitely use terms like harassment and school board. They HATE that. I have great respect for teachers and what they do, but as in any group, there are many good ones, and a few not-so-good ones, and it sounds like you may have found a not-so-good one.

 

[aprild873]

I am going to agree with some of the other posts and say take your concerns to the principal and if you still dont feel the issue is resolved, go higher. No need to even bring the issue up,go with what you feel.
When DD was in 4th grade, we also were having some issues in the classroom, though not necessarily with the teacher, but with other kids in the class and was so bad she was getting sick on the same evening every week. Apparrently ther were a few boys on the class that were saying some mean and nasty things that really shouldn't be coming from a 9 yr olds mouth anyway to her and 2 other girls. I was beginning to think the absolute worst was happennning before she finally admitted to her stepmom what was going on. To make a long story short a meeting was held with the assistant principal, and she actually had the nerve to accuse DD and the other girls of making all of it up. A 9 yr old doesn't make up the words that were being used,especially if they never heard of them before. Eventually we did end up having to go to the superintendent of the school district,and this was after we found out the assistant principal was a neighbor of 2-3 boys involved in the whole mess, which therefore gave her a biased opinion to begin with.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you can get this issue resolved. 4th grade is a tough time, not only for the students, but the teacher as well (DD's teacher though very nice, seemed to have lost control of the classroom to a point). DD is now in middle school which brings it's own set of challenges to the table.

 

[nessz79]

Wow. As a high school teacher, I would definitely go to the Principal. At my school (I know it's different...but schools are generally similar), a parent that would call in something like that to the principal or vice-principal of curriculum would definitely be taken seriously. They would definitely look into it. And if they dont' do anything, go to the school board.

I'm really sorry your son is going through this!

 

[Mommytink]

I am a teacher and I know in a lot of states they are now passing laws that mandate that schools have a bully policy and take all complaints seriously. If they do not they can be held liable. A few school districts near me have been sued over it.

Good luck

 

[Darcy03231]

We had a similar situation in 4th grade with my son. I scheduled a meeting with the principal and when that resulted in nothing being done I had my attorney send a letter to the principal outlining what my son told me was going on, the fact that I met with the principal and that nothing was resolved. He copied it to the superintendent of schools. Believe me, that got their attention. The situation was resolved very quickly after that.

 

[livie1205]

thanks for all the advice...i spoke with the ap yesterday and she agreed with the teacher and said he was the ONLY kid that has gotten a referral in that class...well i went to the school today and sked for his records and sat down with the PRINCIPAL and she said...due process was NOT done and that there HAS been other kids in trouble in that class and even one suspended! she even encouraged me to make a complaint about ap and teacher and said she would investigate the whole thing...i showed her all the comments on the report cards since kindergarden and they ALL said things like ..sweet boy...joy to have in class...always happy...so on and so on ...anyway i told her to call me when it was done and i expect the bullying to stop...

 

[TENIA66]

Good job for you, congrats with the progress!!

 

[slduck]

I am so glad that you talked to the principal. I am a high school teacher and bullying is taken VERY seriously in our school. If your child doesn't feel safe, the he will not learn. I would push to change his class if possible. You son really needs to feel that he has an adult ally in the building. It sounds like you are in a touch situation. Good luck and keep us post!