OT: Need Potty Training Help....PLEASE

[disneygirl1977k]

Hey guys,
Just finished reading the "Attn. Mother of Boys" post and I am going to start the potty training process with my 22 month old DS.....I am not going to force it or anything, I just want to kind of get started, see what happens...however, I am a first time mom and would like some advice from you professionals out there.....How do I start it, Just sit him on the little training potty and tell him to pee-pee??? I just don't quite comprehend how I make him understand what you are supposed to do....He also doesn't really talk in sentences...so he is not just going to walk up to me and go, Hey mommy I need to potty, so how do I make him understand to tell me he needs to go potty, like I said I am just introducing it and I would really like some advice/help on how to do this....do I leave him in diapers like he is now, or put on some big boy undies or get those new Huggies training pants that make you feel wet when you pee-pee???? Any advice would be great, I am going to take my time, be patient, but am really interested in introducing this and he attends a private preschool as well and I know they will assist me in this......you guys on this board rock and I know I will get the help I need here....Thanks guys.
Kristy

 

[Mom to Jordan]

22mo is very young. I would first look for signs that he in deed is capable of this skill. Does he have the vocabulary to express his needs. Does not need to be complete sentences but can he say and understand "go potty". CAn he follow two step commands" pull down your pants and sit on the potty" ? Has he shown any interest? Point at you when you go potty,tell you when he has gone in his diaper? Does he wake up dry from naps, and stay dry for several hours at a time.

I am really not sure I would start yet but if you choose to do so I would buy a potty and put it in the bathroom. At night when you take off his clothes for a bath, invite him to sit on it for a minute and tell him this is where you go potty when you are a big boy. YOu might let him watch you dump his dirty diaper in to the potty. Just start taking about it and follow his lead. When I trained DS I did not use pull ups but went to big boy underpants. He was quite verbal at two and understood everything we said. We choose his favorite character and told him Barney would be sad if he pee peed on him. He was very successful right from the start at age two BUT he is the excepetion. Most boys at my preschool are close to three. As you mentioned, if you decide to try, stay very layed back and keep it simple.

Jordan's mom

 

[rt2dz]

A lot of people will tell you that 22 months is too young, but as long as you aren't pushing it (like you said) I say "GO FOR IT". I know MANY boys who are trained by 3. Actually, everyone with a couple of exceptions, who tries before 3 has trained their boys. I think that is the problem, people just don't try because they hear that it is too young to try. And my son didn't talk at all until almost 3 and was trained way before then. If it fails, no big deal. Put it off again for a few weeks to a couple of months and try again.

First, I'd buy pull-ups that they can feel wet in. It will cost you more money (get coupons online if you don't have any on hand), but it will help your ds figure out when he is going and what it feels like. Very important step to potty training.

At the same time, go buy a potty chair. Put it anywhere you want. Let him read books on it. Let your ds get used to it in play. Put it in the bathroom. Offer to let him sit whenever you go. If he doesn't want to, fine. If he sits and does nothing, fine. Here's the thing though--let him in the bathroom with you when you go. AND, especially, YOUR DH. As you well know by now, kids learn more by example than anything else.

Go buy some books to read to him. Buy more than one. I found the potty time one that was highly recommended to me was kind of useless. Also they can convey the same idea in many ways. You don't know which way will click for your son. I also got a few videos/dvds. The best is the Bear in the Big Blue House DVD, "Potty Time With Bear" (also available on video). I've given this to friends who have said it is what did the trick. We have the book too. Just start reading the books & putting on the videos/dvds without really saying anything about it. You just want your son to get an idea/foundation. Go to the library and check out a variety of them to see which ones you & ds like first if you don't want to buy.

Once you have set the foundation (and this may take several weeks), stop throwing away poopy diapers. Kind of. Take your ds to the bathroom with you and have him watch you put the poop in the toilet. Tell him that is where poop goes. Don't push anything. Don't tell him not to poop in his diaper/pull up, just tell him that is where it goes. Eventually he'll get the idea. Actually, this is what has clicked first in my personal experience.

When you feel he is getting it, just start offering to take him to the toilet. Before bath is where most people usually start, but also first thing in the morning (everyone goes then). Then just here and there. He may go, he may not, but he's learning that is where you want him to go. When he does go, praise him. A lot of people use the cheap toy, sticker chart, M&M thing. I didn't. I just did the "potty dance". Also, if you KNOW when he is going, pick him up, move him to the potty & put him on it. That helps a lot in his getting the idea.

When you feel he completely understands what to do when, just start taking him more often. Let your ds run around outside (in the back, weather permitting) naked from the waist down. Put him in cotton training pants, maybe with the plastic over it. He'll just get it.

Anyhow, that is what I do. It works really well for me, so far (pregnant with yet another boy). I don't push it. And we're done before the third birthday. And of course, they aren't "trained" until they tell you each & every time they have to go without being asked. But nighttime is another story. While I've never had a problem there either, for many--mainly boys--that takes quite a bit longer.

Wow, sorry the post is soooo long.

 

[ksoehrlein]

Glad to know someone else is in the same boat. I asked DS today for the first time if he wanted to sit on the potty, and he got SO excited! He grabbed a magazine (I kid you not) and plopped right down. He didn't want to get up from the potty to go take his bath. But the nightmare for me is, he seems to like sitting on the front edge of the potty seat. Great if he's gonna poop, but if it's pee, I'm looking at mopping the floor each time, huh? I see a long, messy road ahead!

 

[Nik's Mom]

Both of my ds's were soooo stuborn in the potty department. I started training my oldest ds at 2 years old. He showed the signs (stayed dry for several hours, was dry every morning, said he went pee in his diaper), but when it came time to go on the potty, he just sat there. Finally at 3 years old and 2 months, we gave up on the pull-up idea. We put him in regular kids underwear. When he had an accident, he could definitely tell by the mess. And would you believe, within 3 days he was trained. For my ds, the pull ups just didn't help.

Now, for ds #2, he will be turning 3 in a couple of weeks, and shows no signs of being ready. I take him to the potty every morning, but he just sits there. I guess he isn't ready yet. As soon as it get warm enough, I'll try the same technique as I did with ds #1.
Good luck to you. The key is to keep it low stress for your son. Eventually, he will be potty trained!

 

[cristbaby]

I have done childcare for 20 years and I have potty trained many children over the years. As far as what age, they're all different and will show signs in their own way. First and foremost, get him to feel comfortable with the idea of sitting on the potty even with his diaper on. Always at bath time let him sit on the potty even if he doesn't do anything. No matter what, once you decide he is ready for the potty training, have patience and understanding, THERE WILL BE ACCIDENTS! If you get upset it will only make him want to keep his diapers more. As for pull-ups, I have had very little success with them. Regular underwear and a few accidents and everything will work out. Good Luck!

 

[the kabuki]

Started my son around 28 months or so.He was a little later than my daughters' who were ready by 24 months. Let him in the bathroom with dad, see how's done so to speak!

Made a BIG deal out of picking out a potty at the store.

Bribery is a good thing when potty training! For my daughters' stickers worked, my son got a hot wheels car each time he successfully went. The hot wheels cars were .76 cents at walmarts, bought probably $30 worth, but it was so worth it.

As for the pullups, IMHO I say don't use them. I tried this with my first and noticed she just went in them, pretty much the same as a diaper. This went on for about 2 weeks we weren't having any luck. SIL told me to get rid of them, let her wet herself a few times and she'll learn quick. And she did, within a week she was fine. Nightime was longer of course, just as with the other 2 kids. They usually got the hang of that around 3 or so.

It's best to do this when you don't need to leave the house much. It will go smoother if you just commit to not going anywhere for about a week, which I know isn't always possible, but if it is it will go much faster.

Good luck!!

 

[va32h]

Personally, I think 22 months is too young, particularly when you say yourself that he is not very verbal. Can he pull his pants down himself? Does he tell you when his diaper is dirty or needs changing?

You could get a potty seat and keep it around the house, just to let him get comfortable with it. You could get some picture books about going potty and read those, if your son likes being read to. You could even get a doll that wets and try role-playing with that on the potty. But I wouldn't try much more at this age.

I found that with my son, he didn't "get it" until I actually "caught him in the act" of peeing and said "there, that's what you need to do in the potty!". My older two are spring babies, and I started potty training them the summer after their 2nd birthdays. I let them run around the house in a shirt (or dress, for dd) and bare bottoms. This made it easy to scoop them up and plop them on the potty seat.

I never used pullups and I don't recommend them. I found that my kids were perfectly comfortable peeing in the pullup - which didn't motivate them to get to the potty in time.

We had lots of accidents, but it only lasted a few days, and I just had the carpets cleaned at the end of the week.

 

[moopdog]

Are you confused yet?!! It's too young...no it's not... yes it is... ha ha!! It just goes to show you that every child is SO different. In my opinion it's not too young, but that's me and my experiences. For fun, I pulled the potty chair out for my DS when he was just 13 months old when it was so obvious he was trying to poop and I sat him on it...he pooped, we all cheered. I admit it was mostly for fun to see if he would, etc. But from that point on, I started taking him "pee" about every hour or so I would just have him stand when he peed, just like a boy does. We did that for a while, then moved it to every 2 hours and we started noticing that he seemed to be waiting for us to take him and "holding it". We messed around like this for some time, it didn't seem like I was the one who was trained as some parents like to put it, because I can either change a diaper every 2-3 hours, or take my child to the potty every 2-3 hours... guess which is easier!

By 18 months he was totally done, except pull-ups at night. We went from pull-ups during day (which he would tend to pee in more often than undies) then to underwear (washed at least one set of clothes per day for a few months) to nothing by age 18mos. We did not have luck with the potty chair, we went and bought a toilet ring for our toilet, and a stool so he could get on and off as he wished. For some reason that was a better arrangement for us.

NOW my DD almost 2.5 on the other hand who is totally done now (thank the Lord) did not have the desire to train until right around her 2nd bday, before that she actually refused to sit on a potty! So, we took the point and didn't push it. Now she's totally done and even wakes up once in the night to go on potty, so she can wear undies at night (if we were brave enough).

That's just how we did it... good luck with whatever works for you. If your son is too young, you'll be able to tell I think!

 

[Robundrh2o]

Thank heaven for little girls, I have always heard that training girls was easier than boys. My DD was about 22 or 23 months when we started the potty training and the worst part of it was over in about a week. Like one of the other posters mentioned we used bribery. Only instead of stickers I found some cheap Disney Pins on e-bay. Everytime she told us she had to go and actually went on the potty she would get a pin, if she waited to long and had an accident we were supportive and helpful and explained that accidents happen but we took a pin away. Pretty soon she had a backpack full of pins and we said bye-bye to diapers.
The hardest part was after she was trained explaining to her that she doesn't get the pins anymore

 

[rt2dz]

I just wanted to point out that the feel wet pull-ups have only been around for about a year. That means anyone who used pull ups over a year ago, basically was just using a glorified diaper. And those DO NOT work real well, but the feel wet ones work like heavy training underwear with a heck of a lot less mess. There is a big difference between the two.

I also wanted to add--why I was re-checking this post...

when I suggested reading all the different books & videos, don't make it like you're running the all-potty-all-the-time channel. Just slip them in here and there. Pair the potty books, one at a time, with the other books you are reading. Just pop in the potty video/dvd during regular tv time. Slip it in with the normal stuff so it isn't a big deal.

We also used the toilet seat ring (with handles) when teaching our boys to poop for the most part. We had the seat in the bathroom for when we were going to offer to let him go to. And we taught standing and peeing almost from the beginning. I just found it much easier. Not to mention a heck of a lot more sanitary when out in public (you just lift him up).

And, GOOD LUCK! Don't let negative comments stop you; just your ds, if he isn't ready.

 

[SueM in MN]

I just wanted to point out that the feel wet pull-ups have only been around for about a year. That means anyone who used pull ups over a year ago, basically was just using a glorified diaper. And those DO NOT work real well, but the feel wet ones work like heavy training underwear with a heck of a lot less mess. There is a big difference between the two.

I wanted to add the "feel wet pull ups" are very different than the regular ones. My niece tried the feel wet ones and after wetting a total of 2 of them, her DD was trained and did not urinate in them ever again.
SShe told her mom that they felt "yucky", so they definately do feel different than the regular pull ups.
Another hint that we used before the feel dry ones came along is to have the child wear regular underwear and then use the pull up over it. That way, they can feel the wet underwear, but you don't have to deal with so many wet clothes.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I had a hard time finding the feel wet pull-ups. I finally did find one pack, but I'll hold off on potty training for now, since we leave for WDW on Friday. It is so important to keep a routine going with potty training, and I don't think we can do that at WDW. SueM, great idea on using regular undies under the regular pull ups! I will definitely try that!

 

[Disney Enthusiast]

My DS just trained in January (once we got back from our WDW trip) and he just turned 4 this month. It was easy for the tinkle, but the #2 was traumatic and excruciating (for me). The doctors told me to "Wait until he indicated he was ready," but he never did. He would hold it until he went to bed or literally scream when I held him down on the pot too frustrated to let him go any longer. I was sitting in the potty area for an hour and a half at a time trying to be there when he had to go. The problem w/ the #2 is you never know when it's coming. The tinkle, you could take him in every hour and give him lots to drink. Much easier.

As far as my DD..... She started telling me she had to go "poo" about a month ago (18 mos.) and has gone 4 times now on the potty. Maybe it's because she is my 2nd and I'm better at it now , or maybe it's because the whole gang scrambles into the bathroom when my DS goes and she watches and mimics what he does, or maybe it's because she's a girl. Who knows. But there was no screaming, crying or training involved. One day, she pointed to her butt and said, "Poo Poo." I thought she was telling me she already went and wanted changed, but when she ran to the potty, and I put her on it, by golly, she went. And I didn't even have training on the mind. I had just finished w/ my son and thought I would need months to recuperate. Apparently she was ready and that's what it's like for a child to show you indications that he/she is ready. Good luck.

 

[disneygirl1977k]

Thanks guys....I truly appreciate the advice and suggestions....I am definately going to try to "feel wet" pullups. I had read that a lot of times boys will never "act" ready and I am just going to try to start with him, take our time, see how it goes....he can definately pull his pants down and take off his diaper and if I ask him if he is wet he will grab at his diaper so I think he will comprehend pretty well, he is not very verbal as far as words or sentences, he can talk, as a matter of fact he babbles 24-7 and has a good vocabulary, so we are going to start with the potty words and see how it goes, I think he will pick it up and his preschool will help me out. So I am off to buy the little potty and give it a whirl, wish me luck....and thanks guys for the help, however, I definately will be putting him in pull-ups for our August trip to Disney....I know how excited even older kids get and would skip going to the bathroom, so we will be working towards it.
Kristy

 

[HenDuck]

My DS was potty trained at 3 1/2, right after he returned from his first trip to DL.

We brought out the potty right after his second b-day. We explained to him what it was for and played with it. He sat on it from time to time that first year, but didn't do anything in it. I think he liked the idea of sitting on it, but didn't really get the whole idea.

It wasn't until just before we went to DL that he really showed interest. We figured we wouldn't push it until we returned. Within one week after the trip, he was fully potty trained.

My biggest advice is not to push. Show him what it is and how to use it. Let him sit on it and "pretend". Give him lots of encouragement even if he just sits on it.

They really do know when they're ready to train. Unless your child has some developmental difficulties, I wouldn't worry about it. When they're ready, as long as you've introduced the basic idea to them, they will almost train themselves.

Good luck!

 

[Zoesmama03]

Don't let anyone tell you 22 months is too soon. The worst that can happen if you are NOT forcing it is that he won't be interested and you can back off and just kinda let him "play" with it.

My dd(21 months tomorrow) isn't 'really really' verbal(does have 30-40 words and some small phrases) but can remove her shorts and pull down a pull up(I wouldn't normally use them but they were a gift from MIL) or training pants by herself. She tells me potty by signing it but rarely goes when I take her after she usually is telling me that she has went "potty". She did once in the bath tell me potty and went after I took her out to go. I do the potty cheer and introduced stickers which right now she gets regardless of actually going.

I find that bare bottom approach to be most helpful. She notices right away that she has gone and sometimes stops after a dribble long enough to get to potty.

I introduced the potty when she was younger purely as fun/enjoyable "toy" basically. She loves it and sits on it every time I go to the bathroom myself. She usually is clothed and diapered. I plan to try some more bare bottom and training pant time this coming weekend. She has responded well the 6-7 times she has gone pee before. I think it would only take a little more repitition on a more daily basis and she would "get" it.

Sure it is sometimes said to be more like the parent is trained if you start too soon but my thought is most 3 years olds need help wiping so not like you can train them at 2 and never have to do anything from then on. I certainly think and KNOW kids can be trained by 2. They are all different they all learn at different rates and some are more interested than others.

 

[SammieG]

My Sil stated potty training her first son at 22 months... and I started my son 18 months later than my SIL... guess whos child was potty trained first? yes, mine..

She now wishes she had never started - it took her eighteen months to get him dry day and night. It took my son less than a week...

personally, unless you have a child really demonstrating the signs, I wouldnt bother until they were older. Those first few months are so difficult anyway - having to know where the nearest bathrooms are everywhere you go..
Knowing you have approx 30 seconds from the time they tell you they need to go and they time they "go" !!!

Good luck! its fun!

 

[Pooh Crew]

Our situation was a little different because I had triplets, but I had made up my mind early on that there would be no battle over potty training. I waited until my girls were three and "really ready" (meaning fully verbal, fully understanding, dry all night every night) then we scheduled a bathroom weekend. Saturday morning we got up, took off the diapers, went into the bathroom and sat down on their potty seats. I gave them water until they would not drink anymore then moved on to milk, juice, and soft drinks...anything to get more liquid in them. I also gave them pretzels to make them thirsty and pears and apples to help "move" them. We made a huge deal over any successes and even called the grandparents to brag. Once they had done everything, we put on panties and left the bathroom. Every twenty minutes, we went back in to try to potty. That stretched into thirty minute periods, then forty-five, then so on. We put pull ups on for the night then started again in the morning. By the end of the second day, my girls were done. One daughter had one accident, the other never had an accident. We kept put pullups over their panties at night just in case, but they never had an accident.

My triplet son was a little different. I have another son who is fifteen months younger than my trio, so I really wanted to do both boys together. I waited until my youngest was showing all the signs and then went to work on the oldest. I took away the diapers and pullups and put him in underwear. He completely understood and never had an accident. My youngest was trained before he was 2 1/2 simply by watching his brother and wanting to copy him. Even at that age, no accidents.

I personally waited, but I understand that is not for everyone. I did not want to deal with months of potty training, accidents, and control issues. I also am slightly germaphobic and had heart palpatations at the mere thought of taking four toddlers into a public restroom! My advice is simply to not stress...if he does not "get it" in a few days, put it off for another few months then try again. Once you get past this stage, no one will ask when he was potty trained and it won't matter one bit!

 

[minkydog]

I suggest trying potty training in the summer. I have done with both my older kids. I call it the $75-and-2-weeks method. You choose a time when you can stay home for 14 days--no errands, no shopping, no preschool. Stay home. Have visitors. Block off "delicate" rooms. Go outside and take DS's diaper off'; give many drinks. sooner or later he will pee. Praise, oooh,ahhh--look, you made peepee! Keep giving him drinks. Look! More pee pee! Leave pants off. Oops, there's peepee in the living roon. Uh-oh, there's peepee in the kitchen. Here's Daddy--Daddy peepees in the toilet. Give more drinks; sit DS on toilet(backwards worked great--he can watch the peepee go in the toilet.)This goes on for 2 weeks. It is messy. Get over it. At the end of two weeks, DS will understand how to go potty. At that point, have your carpets cleaned.

And for all those people who say you have to "wait until they are ready"--I just don't buy it. I did back then,but I don't now. We are trip training our nonverbal,severely mentally handicapped son(he has an IQ<20--that's about 9months-1yr). Left to his own devices he would have never "been ready." After much intensive work(sitting on the toilet every 90 min, lots of clapping and singing) he not only knows when he has to go, but has begun to pull his pants down to tell us--not a pretty sight in Home Depot, let me tell you. We put him on the potty for 20 min. every day after lunch and every evening after supper, as well. It has taken some time for him to be successful but he is about 95% BM trained now and 60% urine trained.

Cathy--mom to John & Eleni, trained before age 3, and Christian, still working on it.Yay!