OP - First let me say, I am so sorry for your loss nd the pain you are feeling.
Rest assured that what you are feeling is perfectly normal.
I had a MC in June of 2006, and I still have the pain in my heart for the child I never held.
I found comfort in knowing that she will never have to experience the pains and sorrows of this world. But the most comforting thought for me was knowing that she has the greatest babysitter of all watching over her - Jesus.
I picture her in His arms and playing with him, and I am at peace with my loss.
I do know how you are feeling as your SIL looks forward to her child's birth.
My miscarriage happened the same day my DD24 gave birth to my first grandchild.
Talk about a bundle of mixed emotions!
It is very difficult to deal with your own pain as you watch someone else bask in their joy.
It is ok to feel jealous and angry and sad, and everything else you are feeling. It's part of the grieving process and it's normal.
The only advice I can give you is to give yourself time. You will never stop feeling the loss of your child, but it will get easier to deal with as you go.
I found therapy in planting a wonderful garden in memory of my daughter. DH went out and found a beautiful tree to plant, and we surrounded it with a garden full of flowers. We found a bench with a very touching saying on it, and when any of us feels bad, we go sit in the "Katie Garden" (that was what we named her).
We also buy an angel ornament for her every year to hang on our Christmas tree.
Our Katie was due right around Christmas, so it has been very hard on us the past three holiday seasons.
But each year is a little easier. This year we are even going to be able to bring ourselves to put up our light display again, something we haven't been able to do since the MC.
In dealing with your SIL, talk to her. We made sure anyone else in the family, including DD24, knew how much pain we were feeling, and they all understood our reluctance to be around other babies and pregnant moms. Just be open and honest, and your family should understand.
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Rest assured that what you are feeling is perfectly normal.
I had a MC in June of 2006, and I still have the pain in my heart for the child I never held.
I found comfort in knowing that she will never have to experience the pains and sorrows of this world. But the most comforting thought for me was knowing that she has the greatest babysitter of all watching over her - Jesus.
I picture her in His arms and playing with him, and I am at peace with my loss.
I do know how you are feeling as your SIL looks forward to her child's birth.
My miscarriage happened the same day my DD24 gave birth to my first grandchild.
Talk about a bundle of mixed emotions!
It is very difficult to deal with your own pain as you watch someone else bask in their joy.
It is ok to feel jealous and angry and sad, and everything else you are feeling. It's part of the grieving process and it's normal.
The only advice I can give you is to give yourself time. You will never stop feeling the loss of your child, but it will get easier to deal with as you go.
I found therapy in planting a wonderful garden in memory of my daughter. DH went out and found a beautiful tree to plant, and we surrounded it with a garden full of flowers. We found a bench with a very touching saying on it, and when any of us feels bad, we go sit in the "Katie Garden" (that was what we named her).
We also buy an angel ornament for her every year to hang on our Christmas tree.
Our Katie was due right around Christmas, so it has been very hard on us the past three holiday seasons.
But each year is a little easier. This year we are even going to be able to bring ourselves to put up our light display again, something we haven't been able to do since the MC.
In dealing with your SIL, talk to her. We made sure anyone else in the family, including DD24, knew how much pain we were feeling, and they all understood our reluctance to be around other babies and pregnant moms. Just be open and honest, and your family should understand.
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
