OT- Looking for Opinions on Tattling

[Kellyscrapbooks]

I'm curious about everyones opinions on Tattling and its effects on the 'Tattlee'. I have a 3 yr old and she plays consistently with a little girl whose about 6 months older. The little girls Mom watches both of them while I work.

For a while now, the older girl tattles to her mom about what my daughter is doing. This is pretty consistent throughout the day. Can be actual bad behavior from my daughter..or as simple as "Mommy, I asked XXX a question and she won't answer me".

I work from home, which is why I can usually hear what is going on. and I'm constantly hearing Mommy, XXX is doing this...Or Mommy, XXX won't share Of course I want my daughter to behave properly, but I don't think a 3 year old should be determining that.


Her mom usually trys to say "don't tell me, tell her" but I think the tattling should be nipped in the bud.

What are your opinions??

Also as a follow-on question, should the tattlee be punished for something the tattler told an adult, If the adult did not see it herself??

My policy on tattling is
1. It's not tattling if something happening is dangerous or involves physical violence.
2. It's not tattling if you have tried to resolve it yourself and it didn't work
3. Otherwise tattling is a punishable offense itself.

So... if Cheyenne and Travis are playing in Cheyenne's room and Travis hits Cheyenne with a block and Cheyenne tells, it's not tattling

or if Cheyenne and Travis are playing in Cheyenne's room and Cheyenne keeps taking blocks away from Travis and he has asked her to stop multiple times and she continues to do so and he tells, it's not tattling

However.... if Cheyenne and Travis are playing in Cheyenne's room and Cheyenne knocks over a block tower Travis was making (or vice versa) and he comes and tells, she gets in trouble for being mean to her brother and he gets in trouble for being a tattletale. It makes them work out their problems and keeps the uproars to a minimum MOST of the time.

As far as whether or not to punish if I havent' seen the transgression, my kids usually confess if asked. If they say that it wasn't what happens, there is usually a little investigative work done on my part (plus a "is it the type of thing that so and so usually does?) and no matter what I end up separating the kidlets after a situation like this for a while.

 

[jennifer293]

I substitute in kindergarten a lot..and let me tell ya those kids are the MASTERS of tattling....this is what I have witnessed when a child comes up tattling:

Kid comes up and says Mrs. XXXX so and so is doing XXXX

Mrs. XXXX says: Are you bleeding?

Kid: NO

Mrs. XXXX: Are your bones broken?

Kid: NO

Mrs. XXXX: Are you dying?

Kid: NO

Mrs. XXXX: Is this an emergency?

Kid: NO

Mrs XXXX says: OK, then go sit down...

and it works every single time..I have gotten to where I do this with my own kids and they don't tattle anymore because they know what I am gonna say so it is useless..


May not work for some but it works for me and Mrs. XXXX (no I am not Mrs. XXXX) LOL