OT: Latchkey Kids?

[Bektasmic]

How old does a child have to be before letting them come home from school to an empty house? My little guy is only in kindergarten now and we have a great friend in the neighborhood who lets him come over afterschool to hang out with her kids (we pay her, but appreciate it all the same). They all get off the bus together and walk the block to her house and I feel great about our current situation. But I imagine at some point that situation might change (neighbors move away, son feels more independent and gets tired of playing with girls, etc...).

I know it totally depends on the child and neighborhood and length of time child will be alone, but just curious on what peoples views are on this.

 

[Dani C]

Please check your state law. They have actual laws about this topic.

 

[okeydokey]

My daughter will be in middle school next year and her bus will be dropping her off earlier than I get home, maybe 30 minutes. At 12 I am comfortable with 30 minutes, but that;s it at this point.

 

[LPNmom]

I also agree with checking your state law regarding the age. I found this website that may be of use to you:
http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm
It states the laws regarding leaving kids alone in each state. I believe that each kid is different, and parents are the best judge to decide what age is appropriate, I would not leave my 11 year old home alone till she turns 12 in the summer, and she would probably kill her sister if I did (just kidding!!!)!

 

[ms_missy66]

My daughter will be in middle school next year and her bus will be dropping her off earlier than I get home, maybe 30 minutes. At 12 I am comfortable with 30 minutes, but that;s it at this point.

My girls are a bit younger, but I can imagine being comfortable with a "12 years-old and 30 minutes home alone" rule. I know I was in middle school before my parents left me alone for any period of time. I was like 20 and home for the summer from college before they left me alone overnight. LOL!

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

In my opinion a child should never come home to an empty house, no matter what age they are.

I think teenagers are probably ok to have some time alone, once they meet up with the parent and the parent knows they made it to their destination ok...

We once had an emergency where the 10 & 8 yo had a 30 minute window where I had to leave and my DH came home, but that's highly atypical.

 

[CyndiLooWho]

I would be perfectly ok leaving a 12 yo for 30 minutes (actually, I was babysitting at that age, so I wouldn't worry about it at all is she is a responsible kid).

I leave my 8 and 10 yo for 30 minutes to run to the grocery and back if I need something, but they have very specific rules and know exactly what is expected of them while I'm gone. I'm not ready to leave them longer that. They each have a house key, so that if I'm late getting back from the closest big city (where I go to do shopping I can't do here and where all of our specialist doctors are), but I always warn them when I'm going to be there and if there is a possibility of them being home before me.

As a pp said, though, it depends on YOUR kids. Mine would be ok for a short period. Not from 2:45 - 5:30, though. They would not get their homework done and would probably kill each other b/c they couldn't go outside with their friends. And they'd have candy and soda for a snack instead of something more redeeming. LOL

 

[amylevan]

My mom is a high school teacher, and in our district there was a half hour difference in starting/ending times between each level - high school, middle school and elementary. So she was almost always home before us, but she dropped us off at a sitter’s house before school.

When I was in 3rd grade, my mom was held up for some reason or another, so she called my school and told them to send me on the bus home with a friend and she would pick me up there later. Well some genius at the school decided that they would not pass on the message since it was against school policy to allow a student to ride a different bus (but did not mention to my mom when she called in.) So I went home as usual to find an empty house, and I had no key. I was a responsible child though, and knew I was only allowed to play in the backyard, so I took myself to the back porch and sat. My mom frantically arrived 20 minutes later in a panic since she had stopped by the friends house to pick me up and I wasn’t there. The school got an earful on that one, and I earned myself a key for my responsible behavior – which I rarely had to use.

It wasn’t until I was in 6th grade that I was able to convince my mom to let me stay home on a regular basis when she left in the morning. She continued to drop my younger brother off at a sitter’s house in the morning before school, but I was allowed to finish getting ready at home and a friend’s mom picked me up on the way to school.

 

[kristinw3girls]

The law in my state is 12, but I do allow my 11yo to do it on occasion. The rules are no friends at all, no answering the phone unless it is me or DH, no cooking, (or fire in any manner). She can make herself a snack and start homework. I'm usually home 10 minutes before her, but sometimes traffic or a quick errand holds me up. She is very responsible and will be 12 this month!

 

[srwarden1928]

I know I did it at eight, when my mother went back to work two days a week. I had to call one of my parents when I got home (they worked in the same place). I was alone for about two hours.

 

[Manda]

The link that was posted above doesn't quite tell the whole story, so make sure you look into your state laws a little closer. For instance, that chart says 14 for home alone in Illinois. The actual law states:

Illinois law defines a neglected minor, in part, as “any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor’s welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor.”
Juvenile Court Act, 705 ILCS 405/2-3(1)(d)

In Illinois, It's not quite as cut and dried as to say that your child has to be 14 to stay home alone.

That being said, I think it depends hugely on the child and there's no standard answer. My parents offered to let me come home by myself after school in 5th grade (11 years old). I only lived a block from school and we had a lot of friends nearby. But I wasn't comfortable with it and didn't start that until 6th grade. Unless my son objects, he'll likely start coming home alone after school once he starts middle school in 6th grade. Until that age, we have a great after school program at the elementary school and he'll stay there.

 

[bopper]

As many have said, sometimes there are laws and sometimes there are no laws...but personally I think around 12 is good. It passes the reasonableness test...Imagine if something goes wrong and if you were explaining it to others, you would feel comfortable saying that my 12 year old was home alone for 2 hours.

 

[mjkacmom]

My kids have started around 10. My 12 year old actually babysits her siblings, and she stays home alone frequently. Ds's friend used to come here after school, but once he turned 11, he just walks home now.

 

[Darcy03231]

My kids were in middle school before we started letting them stay by themselves. DH is home by 3-4 pm so they really weren't home by themselves for much more than an hour and a half (they got home at 2:30).

 

[delmar411]

I think while it greatly depends on the child's maturity level that starting around 10-12 is a really good age. No more than 2hrs though as after school in the winter it can get dark very quickly and kids really have no sense of real time, yk?

I will every once in a while leave my oldest (11) at home for maybe 30-60mins. I'm not entire comfortable with it honestly although I was an everyday latch-key child starting at age 8. She, while asking for the independence, also calls me like every 5mins when she is home alone. LOL Not sure why she asks to stay since clearly she doesn't want to be alone for more than 10-15mins. And she hasn't been good about following the home alone rules so either I really need to have her practice more with me near-by or just not let her until she's ready to follow the rules. (it's not life or death rule breaking but it's the principle of the matter)

 

[Mickeypooh99]

Michigan has no specific age when it is legal. My niece started babysitting my kids when she was 12. I think it depends on the kids. Mine are 7 and 8 now, and I don't let them stay home alone. The 8 year old would probably be fine. He is very responsible, but I'll wait a couple more years. The 7 year old probably wont be ready until he is much older. He is an adventurous child.

 

[crisi]

My kids have been latchkey kids since they were 8 and 9. They get off the bus and are home for about 45 minutes before we get home three days a week (the other two days one of us is working from home). The next door neighbor is generally home, the neighbor across the street works from home (and is a trained paramedic), the neighbor on the other side has both Mom and Grandma at home in the house.

We keep a password on the TV and they have rules - like having a healthy snack (and they do have a healthy snack), no one else in the house, and they are required to stay in their own yard or in the adjoining yards.

But I was babysitting siblings at nine, neighbor kids at 11, went away to college at 17 (and was taking college courses at the local university at fifteen) and trapsing through Europe by myself for six weeks at eighteen.

There are a few factors to consider:

How comfortable are you? - obviously some people are not comfortable at all with leaving kids far older than mine are home. Other people leave kids even younger than mine.

How responsible are your kids? - I have one of those really responsible kids - his sister is little less responsible, but still pretty good. Between the two of them, they don't do much wrong - and when they do they will tattle freely on each other.

What is your neighborhood like? We have a neighborhood full of people who are home when my kids get off the bus and filled with kids their age. If there is a problem, there are adults around to help.

What's your child rearing philosophy? I'm one of those parents who thinks that the sooner you start raising kids to turn into independent adults, the less chance you have of having thirty year olds living in your basement. If they are going to be ready to go off to camp, take school trips, go off to college, get married and NOT LIVE IN MY HOUSE - they should get incremental independence. Other people feel a bigger need to protect their kids from the world for a lot longer.