OT-impact of having a 3rd child, kinda freaking out!!

[lattemomof3]

I think a lot of it depends on the baby. My 2nd was sleeping through the night at 2 months, happy all the time, calm, sweet boy. We also tossed around the idea of a 3rd for quite a while, went for it, then had a miscarriage, so we tried again. I also did not want to regret not having a 3rd later, when it would be too late to have one. Our 3rd baby, dd3, was the MOST DIFFICULT baby I could ever imagine! She is finally sleeping through the night most nights (yes, she's 3!), had acid reflux and literally cried for 9 months straight. She is stubborn, demanding, and sometimes downright impossible, BUT we love her more than words can say, and our family can't imagine life without her! The 2 oldest have learned sharing, patience and compassion from having her in their lives, and it is a true joy to see them playing together (not so joyful when the fighting starts 2 minutes later!). This little handful of a girl has aged dh and I a good 10 years in the 3 we've had her, and we are gearing ourselves up for many adventures ahead w/ her. But she is as sweet as she is sassy, and makes us laugh every day. So my point is, even though 3 can make you crazy, you love your kids and will never regret having another. Edited to add: on the vacation front, yes, it is much more difficult w/ a 3rd, but you do it and just lower your "perfect family vacation" expectations a bit! I am so glad I have one more girl to take to see the princesses, my dd10 has grown up so fast, it makes me really treasure these days when dd3 believes Cinderella is the real deal and wears princess attire (sometimes w/ her brother's transformer mask on) daily. When you know it's your last baby, the days are bittersweet. I agree w/ the pp's who said you will know when you are done! Now when I see a baby, instead of getting that pang, I think "thank goodness that's not me!"

 

[liriel]

We had your very same worries before having our 3rd child in Jan. She was an oops surprise. We had 2 boys, 7 and 3, and were quite happy with that. We worried about finances, having 3 kids in daycare, how they boys would feel about having to share a room etc.. In all though I wouldn't change it for the world. We were lucky enough that I could quit my job and stay home with the kids (after paying day care and taxes my salary meant we would take home nothing above.), we needed a new car anyway so it prompted us to get a mini-van, and the boys adore their sister. The transition for 1-2 was harder than 2-3, and we got lucky that she is an easy going baby. DS 3 didn't sleep through the night until he was 2, so we were relieved when our DD slept through at 10 weeks. In all I am glad she is here and though we had to make changes in our lives she is totally worth it.

 

[momdad4kids]

Here it is, the first one creates nothing but turmoil in your life then number 2 comes alnog and well youve already done most of it with the first one then after that they just fall into placeOnce you have 2 kids and decide to go on from there really 4 or 6 isnt that big of a deal not like the first 2 anyhow.Now yes cars and vacations are a little bigger and more complicated but imagine living with your best friends all the time ,our house is like a 24hr sleepover most nights especially the girls room(theres 3 in there most of time). Someone said a nanny before not sure who and that works, we found it was the same money as daycare for 3 but in the end it wasnt any better,good nannys are hard to come by and when you get one they always seemed to move on ,either someone else offers a better position or they move to another area(maybe its us or our kids ,who knows?) but the not so good ones you cant get rid of so good luck with that,lol

 

[robinb]

The whole "regret NOT having one, but never will you regret having one," gets me tripped up all the time!!

FWIW, I was "one and done" and never regretted NOT having more children. I agree with the PP if you're freaking out so much then maybe this isn't the right decision at the right time. Of course ... the point may be moot and hearty congratulations may be in order .

 

[samshane]

We have 3 - 10, 8, and 7. There are 21 months between each of them. We had 2 girls, and decided on a whim to have one more. DH changed his mind shortly thereafter and thought 2 was great, but it was too late Then we had our final child, our son.

I felt it was harder going from 1 to 2 then from 2 to 3. And yah, going to places that accomodate 4 can be a little difficult when there is 5 of you - but I can't imagine life without the 3 of them (and neither could DH who quickly came around). I was the first person in my family to have 3 - and everyon seemed to have girls, my son was the first boy in a LONG time on my side. He is still the only grandson, among all the granddaughters.

I was lucky to get to be a work at home mom until my son was full-day school and then I got a part-time job at a local college during the school days - it is *perfect* for us.

Best of luck for you - everyone one has to make a decision that works best for them!

 

[dormouse72]

I have three - all three and a half years apart. They are now 14, 11, and 7. I was an only child and my mother was an only child so neither of us had a clue about dealing with two let alone three. And did I mention I'm doing this on my own?

Adults are outnumbered by children in the house. You can't hold everyone's hands at the same time. You have to worry about the older ones getting toys that could pose a serious choking hazard to the younger one. The little ones get angry when they see the older ones doing things and going places where they can't. One on one time is hard to come by.

BUT...it's wonderful to see my eldest helping her younger sister with her homework while I race around trying to get dinner. Or the middle one sitting next to the tub playing with all the bathtub toys (now that she's too big to get in the tub with her little sister). The two older girls now share shoes and sweaters. The little one made sure all her friends knew that DD # 1 was in the local production of "Seussical" - I don't think any other walk-on extra had a built-in fan club. They aren't perfect. They bicker, fight, tattle on each other. I have a Pathfinder with three rows so no one has to sit next to their sister. I'm routinely torn in fifty directions at once and trying to go to the movies together is next to impossible.

A few of my mother's friends (who have five children each) said if you can handle three, you can handle anything. It's true.