OT: I got blamed for not watching someone elses kid

[RMulieri]

I can not believe some people!!! I was at the local shopping mall yesterday eating lunch in the food court with DD4.At a table next to us was a Mom,Dad( or boyfriend) and a small girl ( my guess about 3y/o).The whole meal they are oblivious talking and laughing while "Mimi" runs loops around my table, tries taking DDs toy, and helps herself to Dd's lunch.I let it slide, because Mom would look over an attempt to correct Mimi.Finally, as I was attending to my own DD, Mom flips out because Mimi is gone! They lock down the mall, security comes.Mom has the nerve to tell the security guard ,while giving me the evil eye ,that "its a shame that other people can not keep an eye out for each others kids like the old days" I was shocked totally speechless...."I did manage to ask her at what point of her lunch date did she decide that mimi was the responsibility of a total stranger.They did find Mimi hiding in the bathroom, but that is utterly beside the point.What is with people?

 

[mommyof2princesses]

This is a "blame" society. no one takes responsibility for anything anymore. Of course it was your fault, becuase it couldn't of been the girls' parents fault. Everywhere I go it seems that no one watches their kids anymore. They expect everyone else to do their job!

 

[DVC Sadie]

Why blame themselves when they had you to blame? These types of parents are the ones who blame everyone else for their childrens behavioral problems.

They blame teachers or schools for not teaching manners, respect, sharing, sex education, birth control, finances and anything else that should be taught at home by the parents.

 

[waltskids]

Why blame themselves when they had you to blame? These types of parents are the ones who blame everyone else for their childrens behavioral problems.

They blame teachers or schools for not teaching manners, respect, sharing, sex education, birth control, finances and anything else that should be taught at home by the parents.

Well said

 

[disneymom8589]

I wish I could be shocked and surprised, but sadly too many people nowadays play the blame game. They know full well that it is their responsibility but it's too easy to blame other people for their own mistakes. I'm sorry you got the brunt of this irresponsible woman's carelessness.

 

[mylilnikita]

You were a lot nicer than I would have been. I would have told her it's her job not to be thinking about "wanger" sitting at the table with her and pay attention to her kid.

 

[Troop o' Goofs]

We would have been more harsh with the parent as well...saying something to the effect of....

"I'm sorry, I was too busy being a real parent and was watching my own child. Perhaps you should not rely on strangers to be a parent for your child and start acting like a parent yourself."

But then again I am from Jersey and supposedly we have an "attitude".

 

[RMulieri]

We would have been more harsh with the parent as well...saying something to the effect of....

"I'm sorry, I was too busy being a real parent and was watching my own child. Perhaps you should not rely on strangers to be a parent for your child and start acting like a parent yourself."

But then again I am from Jersey and supposedly we have an "attitude".

Yeah, i am originally from jersey too! But living in the South for 2 years and Pa for 4 has softened me

 

[nonzerosum]

Soon enough she will be blaming one of Mimi's jail guards for not protecting her in the night when she got shanked by another inmate. What an unbelievable situation. I would be LIVID. In fact, I'm livid on your behalf. What nerve.

 

[dizydreamer]

You were very kind...

I would have asked her why she went to get the security and have the mall locked down if she wanted strangers to look out for her kid. It seems that some one was taking care of her kid for her that's way the kid is gone.

My mouth usually gets me into trouble though. (but I love to make people like that feel guilty for thier actions)

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

If that wretch of a woman had tried that with me she'd be evacuating waste out of a brand new orifice...

 

[iheartdisney]

You were very kind...

I would have asked her why she went to get the security and have the mall locked down if she wanted strangers to look out for her kid. It seems that some one was taking care of her kid for her that's way the kid is gone.

My mouth usually gets me into trouble though. (but I love to make people like that feel guilty for thier actions)

Or remind her that "back in the day" parents didn't take their children to a public place unless they behaved. And not impose upon strangers their responsbilities!
Pass the blame. it is all part of the entitlement generation!
I'm hot under the collar for you!

 

[2Kds2K9]

I too would have been rude and sarcastic. Would have said, "Oh, so that is your child. Didn't think it was since you seemed to be ignoring her and not watching her while she botherd us and chose to eat my child's lunch."

Yep, we live in a society where "the other guy" is to blame. I keep looking for "not me" in my house. Feel that it's an invisible kid living here as that is the only person my kids refer to when questioned about something.

Don't feel bad. It was not your fault and the other "mother", I use the term loosely, is entirely to blame.

Leigh

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

I have to say that making a comment like that to the guard or whoever it was was out of line, but she was probally freeking out inside, and just didn't know what to say. I have to somewhat simpathise with her because once I was eating in a mall restaurant - just me and my two girls. My oldest has this crazy gag reflex, and slightly choked on some of her food. The chocking was over in about half a second, but it set her off, and she starting puking all over the place!! This table of two women just sat there watching as I tried to rush her out of the booth (while making sure my 14 month old didn't fall out or anything) and one of the women actually got up and blocked my way! I don't remember exactly what I said to them, but they just sat there like innocent little dear in the headlights. Now, was it their responcibility to help me, not at all. Would it have been nice of them to NOT block my way to getting my daughter to the bathroom, I think so!! So moral of the story, ya never know whats going on with someone, especially when its an emergency involving their children.

 

[minnie2]

Yeah, i am originally from jersey too! But living in the South for 2 years and Pa for 4 has softened me

OMG some people!

I am from Jersey originally and being gone for over 10 yrs hasn't softened me I would have added can I please have the 1.99 back to replace my kids lunch since you kid contaminated it!?!?!?

My kid has Celiac( a wheat type allergy) so another kids gluten filled hands touching her foood would have sent me off the deep end long before the blame thing hapened

 

[bangzoom6877]

Totally agree with OP that parents must take responsibility for watching their own children.

I would just like to add that I think it is at best ignorant that some parents today (actually many parents) *trust* other people that are strangers to both them and their children to *watch* their children while they are engaging in adult conversation at their own table. What ever happened to "never talk to strangers"? For all that mom knew, you could be a kidnapper! I'm definitely not saying that you are, but come on, why is the parent not protecting her children? Man, I must be old-fashioned because I don't take my eyes off my kids. Even when I go somewhere with DS1, he is in the stroller, but I have at least one hand on that stroller at all times! What can I say, I'm paranoid. But better safe than sorry.

 

[iheartdisney]

Totally agree with OP that parents must take responsibility for watching their own children.

I would just like to add that I think it is at best ignorant that some parents today (actually many parents) *trust* other people that are strangers to both them and their children to *watch* their children while they are engaging in adult conversation at their own table. What ever happened to "never talk to strangers"? For all that mom knew, you could be a kidnapper! I'm definitely not saying that you are, but come on, why is the parent not protecting her children? Man, I must be old-fashioned because I don't take my eyes off my kids. Even when I go somewhere with DS1, he is in the stroller, but I have at least one hand on that stroller at all times! What can I say, I'm paranoid. But better safe than sorry.

I TOTALLY agree with you! Many times people get offended that I'll tell DD "DOn't talk to strangers" when we are in the grocery store, playground, etc., And I am sure they are VERY nice people, but she is 5, has ZERO stranger anxiety, and starts school in September, and I am TERRIFIED of her going with the wrong person!

 

[StephMK]

Sad but not surprising and why the kids today are as poorly behaved as they are! Of course, this is the same type of woman that if you did point out her little darling is walking off, would have yelled at you to mind your own business, she's fine.

I see kids all the time walking seemingly alone and finally see a parent that looks like they belong to them. Some in the grocery parking lot that always freaks me out but the parents never seem to notice or care. Scary.

 

[_queenie_]

And why exactly would it be your resposibility to watch someone else's child when not asked to?!!!

I can't believe some people, just trying to make themselves look better. Why can't they just look after their own child, if it was your DD acting out would have been their responsibility? I totally understand it when you've been asked to watch a child or are just trying to help out in a circumstance where the parent is busy with something urgent, but this is a bit inexcusable on their behalf. There's been quite a few times where a parent has had to tend another child, etc, and they ask/I offer to watch the child and it's no big deal. If say (this happened two weeks ago, with my two DDs and niece with me), someone has a 1.5yo in a highchair and they spill something, causing the mother to have to walk 50 feet to get some napkins, I'll watch the baby for that 30 seconds. Usually if I see a child come near me and their parents are far away I will do the courtesey of bringing them back or helping them find them, but if I see a child whom I'm not responsible of run away I'm not ging to chase after them, especially a 3yo (a young toddler maybe). I'd probably say that they're running away, if I went to get them I'd probably get that glare I always get when they think I'm the reason what in the case would be why they're running away. I will talk to people if I see them stuggling with a young child (such as finding one who is lost), it's definately a "been there, done that" moment for me, I try not to be such a "stranger" and usually want them to feel comfortable with asking me for help. It's all about respecting people's bussiness while still trying to help them if they deserve it, unlike these people (hate to say, but it's true). If some ignorant person in a sense sends their child to my table, completely ingnoring them, I'm going to get right on them and say excuse me. This woman clearly doesn't understand the difference between people looking out for each other and assuming the world revolves around you. My DH's motto: "You can't help those you can't help themselves." So true.

I just can't stand when people ignore their kids, never mind blame it on someone else. Even though I try to avoid the "blame game", I have to blame this woman for being completely irresponsible.

 

[Tink561]

You're much nicer than me and I'm from the south! I would have not let the girl eat my daughter's food and I would have insisted the leave our table before it ever escalated to her being lost.

I get so sick of people not watching their own kids.