OT: I am so tired of people...

[Brightsy]

...Who can't mind their own danged business!

I had a chance yesterday to take my 4 yr. old DS w/ ASD to a waterpark yesterday. (His older brother and daddy were having a special day together.) So we had a grand time! Vinny was splashing and laughing and having a blast. The noise of some of the features freaked him a little but as the day progressed he almost got onto the slides...maybe next time.
Anyways, we had a great time until it was time to leave... (O, another tangent... he seems to finally be potty trained, over a week now w/ no accidents!!!) So, I take him potty then we go to get our stuff out of the locker. Vinny throws a fit!
I let him have his tantrum at my feet. I know when to ignore him sometimes... like then, I wasn't going to let him "win." He wasn't in any physical danger and he was just being noisy hoping I'd give in and we'd go back to the water.
So i get the stuff and carry a screaming Vin back to the changing area. We're in a stall and I'm trying to deal with the lad. I'm keeping up a running conversation with him, letting him know what I'm doing and why we have to leave. (We stayed until he got hyper-stimmed.) So i finally get us both dried and changed. I carry him out of the changing area telling him that we're now n our to KFC (he loves the mac-n-cheese there.) This whole while he's screaming at me.
I practically walk into a policman! He asks me if there's a problem, I say no. He asks why Vinny is screaming, I explain about the ASD, his stimming issues and how he's just trying to let me know how unhappy he is. The cop nods and says, "My nephew is autistic... Need help getting to your car?" I thank him and say no. I had everything under control.
I notice a woman nearby looking all pinchy-faced and disapproving. As I walk off she hurries over and says something along the lines of "That's it?"
The cop says something to her, I am out of earshot, esp. as Vinny is STILL yelling. I see a man come up, the woman's hubby maybe and pull her away.
As I walk into the lot towards my car I hear another woman say, in response to Vinny's screaming, "Jesus! She should DO something about that...some people..."

*Sigh*

Sara

 

[XYSRUS]

Yes, I know where you're coming from but, please try to see the brighter side. A. Even though the woman was nosy and rude, she was vigilant enough to ask the police to see what /if there was any true problem with a child and B. The police officer was familiar with ASDs (from family and/or training). I know it's exhausting and makes us mad at times, but i feel we have an obligation to our children, future ASD children, and the community to educate others. I'm not always of that mind set everyday, but more often than not, I will not let others suck the life and energy out of me with their ignorance. Keep your head up!

 

[minkydog]

Well, BRAVO to you for taking him to the waterpark in the first place! It's disheartening to me how many parents just avoid taking their kids places because of their disabilities.

The woman who complained went about things the wrong way, but personally, if I had witnessed this and didn't know you, I would have been concerned enough to call security too. (Of course, I might have realized your child had ASD, too )

Most people just don't know anything about autism. They think they know what a tantrum is. They even think that discipline will help
They have no idea what you go facilitate your child's daily life. I think you did all that needed to be done. You stayed calm(not at all easy in the face of a kicking, screaming child), you explained the situation, and you left when it was time. That woman didn't need to scream at you. She showed bad manners and intolerance and you can't fix either one of those.

 

[DisneyDreams4P&B]

... hear another woman say, in response to Vinny's screaming, "Jesus! She should DO something about that...some people..."

I am sure that when it is her time Jesus will do something about her attitude, lack of compassion and understanding...shame on her.

Keep your head up, your sound like a wonderful Mother, stay strong.

 

[Disneylvr]

I have actually seen some parents hand out cards that state something like "my child has autism...." I guess it may help in some situations but I also feel it is no one else's business why my child is acting the way she is. I have to admit though, I have considered getting some of those cards.

 

[Hannathy]

I disagree with some of you, I am very happy to see the woman got security when she thought a child may be being abused. Go to the community board they advocate calling police for any suspected neglect let alone a child screaming for 15 minutes. Too many people ignore children being hurt so I am glad to see people reacting to a screaming child. It is their business if a child is being hurt. I think the security guard handled it fine. I am sure it is frustrating but step back and think what it looks and sounds like to a stranger.

 

[Disneylvr]

I disagree with some of you, I am very happy to see the woman got security when she thought a child may be being abused. Go to the community board they advocate calling police for any suspected neglect let alone a child screaming for 15 minutes. Too many people ignore children being hurt so I am glad to see people reacting to a screaming child. It is their business if a child is being hurt. I think the security guard handled it fine. I am sure it is frustrating but step back and think what it looks and sounds like to a stranger.

But this woman wouldn't let it go AFTER the police talked to the OP and got an explanation about the screaming. So at that point it WAS none of her business. It is such a shame that parents with special needs children have to fear the police being called on them every time they go out in public. All the more reason for me to order those cards I guess.

 

[minkydog]

But this woman wouldn't let it go AFTER the police talked to the OP and got an explanation about the screaming. So at that point it WAS none of her business. It is such a shame that parents with special needs children have to fear the police being called on them every time they go out in public. All the more reason for me to order those cards I guess.

Isn't that the truth? One of myfriends had a visit from CPS because some busy body watched her go to her car and "stuff the child in the trunk" Duh, she wasn't stuffing the kid in the trunk, she was changing her diaper.She laid her in the (clean) trunk so her 9yo wouldn't roll out into traffic and she thought she had some privacy. Apparently not. It's bad enough you've even gotta change a diaper on a 9yo, you don't need Mrs Kravitz watching your every move.

 

[Disneylvr]

It's bad enough you've even gotta change a diaper on a 9yo, you don't need Mrs Kravitz watching your every move.

And people like Mrs. Kravitz, who believe they know signs of child abuse, should educate themselves on autism and other not so physically apparent disabilities and their symptoms as well.

 

[SueM in MN]

But this woman wouldn't let it go AFTER the police talked to the OP and got an explanation about the screaming. So at that point it WAS none of her business.

I totally agree. I think before that, it was understandable (with screaming, etc.) that someone might call security. It could have been something different than what it turned out to be. Once it was reported though, it was not the woman's business any more.

 

[Joanna71985]

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

 

[Brightsy]

Thanks for all the support! In retrospect I AM glad she called security, I mean what if it had been a case of abuse and no one did anything? That would be awful!
And the policeman was very nice and non-confrontational. The woman was out of line afterwards, yeah, but...it takes all kinds, right?

I'm just glad I was able to keep my cool. I've noticed that as Vinny gets older I get a little more patient.

Now here's my next big fear, the lad's getting bigger all the time. Right now I can still pick him up and schlep him around...but what happens when my 40lbs screamer becomes a 70lbs screamer?!? YIKES!
Guess it's even more reason to hit the gym!!!

Sara

 

[minkydog]

Now here's my next big fear, the lad's getting bigger all the time. Right now I can still pick him up and schlep him around...but what happens when my 40lbs screamer becomes a 70lbs screamer?!? YIKES!
Guess it's even more reason to hit the gym!!!

Sara

We have a saying: When a farmer carries a baby bull over the fence every day, at the end of a year he can carry a full grown bull.

My Baby Bull is almost 100lb. Believe it or not, I can still lift him and carry him for short distances.

Cathy--strong like Bull...Tater-fed Woman

 

[dzorn]

God give us patience to deal with our childrens difficulties and THE NOSY PEOPLE. You handeled everything beautifully. Just remember next time let the nice security guard carry your bags to the car and letting you concentrate on your son. Not to mention the look it would have gave the busy body to have him help you out!

I also have a T-shirt for my daughter

It says something like


I may not understand what you say to me

I may have severe temper tantrums

I may have some odd behaviors

I'm not naughty or spoiled

I have Autism

I'ts in the wash but I got it from National Autism Association Web site.

You can also make your own card with Avery Business Card for the Computer


Denise

 

[SueM in MN]

We have a saying: When a farmer carries a baby bull over the fence every day, at the end of a year he can carry a full grown bull.

My Baby Bull is almost 100lb. Believe it or not, I can still lift him and carry him for short distances.

Cathy--strong like Bull...Tater-fed Woman

Another strong Bull Woman!
I can fairly easily carry my youngest DD from her wheelchair to bed or bed to bathroom (about 5-15 feet) - she is about 86-88 pounds.

My oldest DD can easily pick her up and carry her too - and oldest DD only weighs about 110-115 pounds herself.

My DD and I both use excellent body mechanics to pick her up (we've ben told that by Physical Therapists). The person who has the hardest time lifting her is my DH, because #1, he doesn't do it every day and #2, he tries to use his superior strength as a man and doesn't use as good of technique as we do.

 

[SueM in MN]

I also have a T-shirt for my daughter

My DD has 2 T shirts that I just had to buy for her when I saw them.
One has a picture of a kind of "goth", but sweet looking girl and says:
I give myself very good advice, but i very seldom follow it.

The other one has an illustration of the oldest girl from the Lemony Snicket movie and under her it says something like:
First Impressions can often be entirely Wrong

 

[Brightsy]

We have a saying: When a farmer carries a baby bull over the fence every day, at the end of a year he can carry a full grown bull.

My Baby Bull is almost 100lb. Believe it or not, I can still lift him and carry him for short distances.

Cathy--strong like Bull...Tater-fed Woman

Oh I like that!!!! Thanks!

Sara

 

[MikeS.]

The lady did the right thing by calling the police and I don't see a problem with her asking the policeman afterwards, what's up? I too would want to know why this woman has a kid that been carrying on for several minutes.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

The lady did the right thing by calling the police and I don't see a problem with her asking the policeman afterwards, what's up? I too would want to know why this woman has a kid that been carrying on for several minutes.

I agree. Not to mention after a while, the screaming would have made me bananas.

 

[KathyRN137]

And people like Mrs. Kravitz, who believe they know signs of child abuse, should educate themselves on autism and other not so physically apparent disabilities and their symptoms as well.

I'm afraid that with the current rising epidemic of ASD, all the "Mrs. Kravitzs" out there will eventually have a son, nephew, or grandson on the spectrum. .

Sorry you had a rough time; been there!