OT - how do we prepare our dd for having to put down our dog...........

[bear_mom]

Our dds are 11 and 8, our dog is 13. She is really starting to go downhill and according to the vet is suffering from spinal cord degeration. There are times she really struggles to get up, especially when she lays down on the hardwood. I have strageically laid out rugs for her to use and she is learning to use them.

Dh and I can see in the last few weeks how she is struggling more and more. We aren't at that point yet, but anticipate sometime this winter....

Older dd is VERY attached to Allie and also suffers from some anxiety issues. She has made comments before about kennelling her and what if something happens to her while we are away. She tends to get something in her mind and worry about it a lot - to the point where it can affect her sleep.

I'm not sure if it would be better to start talking about it now, waiting until a day or two before, or just telling them that she died while they were at school (really don't think that is the best option, but throwing it out there).

Thoughts???

Emily

 

[wenrob]

Gosh it's such a hard thing especially when they have grown up with them. We had to put down our beloved black lab three weeks ago, he was almost 15yrs old. My oldest is 14 and unfortunately our Angus got bad overnight. We didn't have a choice and had to do it while she was at school. We worried that she would be upset with us for not telling her but she said she preferred it that way. When she was six we had to put down my 13yr old Yorkie and I tried to explain it to her beforehand, it made it way harder on the both of us then it had to be. I know there's a big age difference there but I honestly believe it would have been easier to tell her he passed while she was at school. Considering your DD's anxiety, preparing for it might increase that. My DD would have worked herself into a mess for the entire day or days. It was bad when we had to tell her he was gone but it would have been worse IMHO if she had to think about it for days. It may not be right for everyone but it's what worked for us.

Good luck and I'm sorry you have to make that decision.

 

[sshaw10060]

Your children (especially the older 2) our all old enough that they can understand what is going on. At that I age I usually recommend that they be included in the discussions so that they understand and support why the decision is being made. It will help to provide closure.

The other decision you have to make is whether or not they want to be present for the euthanasia. This varies widely from child to child and even adult to adult. You will have to decide what is best since you know them best.

There are a couple of nice books on the subject for children. They may be a little immature for the oldest, but may help the younger child cope.

Hope this helps.

 

[dmccarty]

We have had to put down two dogs with another dying while we have had kids.

The dog that died just got very sick, very fast and died after being ill for a couple of days. Not much you can do in that situation. With the dogs that were getting worse we simply pointed this out to the kids from time to time. They knew and they could see the dogs getting worse. We also told them to enjoy their time with Kelly and Chase since they did not have much time left with us. The kids were also told that they might come home one day and the dog might be gone.

We had to put Chase down after two cancers. After the first cancer she had a couple of years and then another bump showed up. During surgery to remove the bump, the Vet came out shortly after starting and said the cancer had spread and Chase only had a few months. Do you want us to put her down? We said no. Chase lasted another 6 months or so. At the end we knew it was time. She found a quiet spot and did not move much.

A team of Vets from three different practices had treated Chase. When it was time, one of the Vets came to our house to put her down. We did not want to move Chase so the Vet came with a helper to carry Chase away. Chase was a Golden and was the DW's dog. Kelly was a GSD and was "my" dog. I had to hold Kelly back from Chase when the vet was ending Chase's pain. Kelly wanted to be next to her buddy. When Chase died Kelly started to howl....

Kelly lived a few more years but eventually had problems walking and I think feeling in her hind legs. We took Kelly to different vets but none could really help her. Eventually the walking got worse and she lost control of her bowels. At night I got very little sleep since if she moved I would wake up thinking she needed to go outside. Many times she did, but she could not make it outside and would poo in the house trying to get to the door. Our house has finished concrete floors so cleanup was easy but I still got very little sleep for close to a year. But Kelly was hanging on and it was not time.

Then she could not control her pee. She could barely walk. It was time. She would leave a trail from her bed to the door. BIG mess even on concrete floors. At this point she was in pain and not moving much. She only moved when she had too. It was time. She knew it and so did I. You could see it in her eyes...

We had moved from our old house and had a new vet who lived in our neighborhood. We scheduled a time for her to visit the house to put down Kelly when the kids were in school. When the Vet got the house Kelly got up to say hello which was not easy for her to do. I told Kelly to lay down on her bed which she did. Then the Vet ended Kelly's suffering. Kelly was so dehydrated the Vet had a tough time finding a vein that would work. It was time.

In both cases the kids knew the dogs were in bad shape. We had told them and they could see it. Since we had told them that the dog might not be home when the got to the house from school they were not that surprised when it happened.

We had all three dogs cremated. Their ashes our still with us. Some people might not like this but at least I know where my dogs are located.

My FIL had a dog for many years. Both he and the dog were having health issues and my FIL could barely walk at the time. The FIL lives out in the country in the middle of the woods. One day the dog wanted outside so he let her out. She ran deeper into the woods and went into a brier patch and died. She did not want to die in the house. She knew it was time. My FIL was really torn up because he could not retrieve her body. But the dog knew what she was doing....

I really believe that the dogs know when it is time and so will you. But it still hurts.

Good Luck,
Dan

 

[daneenm]

Not an easy thing. i would say, you know your children best and know how they would react. When we put down our Beagle last spring, we knew she was fading (same type of issue getting up, senility, etc) but the day that we had to make the fateful decision, it was rather sudden. So our children knew that she was aging and we had discussed that when we thought she had not quality left to her life we would have to help end her suffering. That day, though, we had to make a decision while DD13 was away - DS9 was home and knew we were headed to the Vet and that might be the outcome. They both did OK with it.

No matter what, it is really very hard - you are losing an important part of your family. I still miss her every day and sometimes still think I hear her tags jingling in the bedroom where she slept. Hang in there.