OT-How did you announce your pregnancy?

[trayletha]

So...I wondering how/when to break this news to our DD - she's going to be 9 in November (see surprise trip below) but by then I'll already be 20 weeks. It is going to be quite the shock (it was to me too). We've only got the one, and she's been the only (only child AND only grandchild - BOTH sides) for nine years. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! Please tell me about your "spread out" children and how the get along and interact. Oh boy!

 

[kristinanderic]

So...I wondering how/when to break this news to our DD - she's going to be 9 in November (see surprise trip below) but by then I'll already be 20 weeks. It is going to be quite the shock (it was to me too). We've only got the one, and she's been the only (only child AND only grandchild - BOTH sides) for nine years. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! Please tell me about your "spread out" children and how the get along and interact. Oh boy!

I announced my first pregnancy at christmas. I gave each one of the grandparents a framed photo of the ultrasound.

My second pregnancy I announced it at my son's birthday party. I had him wear a shirt that says "im going to be a big brother". He was only 2 so he doesn't really understand that there is a baby in mommys tummy. He just pokes at my belly and says baby....boy is he gonna be surprised in January when we bring home his brother!!!

My brother and I are 11 years apart, I really looked up to him growing up...I'm sure your new baby will look up to his/her big sister as well.

Have you discussed with your daughter the possibility of having a sibling?

 

[Mickeyluver37]

We told my mom on her birthday by getting a grandmother card and signing 3 names. I had wanted to do something big when we told the kids, but we just couldn't take it and told them after my Dr's appt. We will have the age gap thing as well, and our kids are ecstatic and can't wait to help!

We broke the news at 10 weeks because we had a sono that day and were pretty sure it was safe to spill the beans.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

Congrats!
With my 2nd DD --I "announced" her to my DH by placing a hot dog bun in the oven. When he came home from work- he naturally asked, "What do you want to do for dinner?"..I told him to go look in the oven. He goes, "Soooooooo,........ we are having bread?" I said, "Noooooooo... its a bun"...."Get it?" He goes, "So we are having a cold hot dog bun for dinner?Did you not go to the store this week?" I impatiently go, "Its a BUN and its in the OVEN...GET IT???? BUNnnnnn.....in the Ovennnn??????????????"

........"and thats what we are having for dinner? I don't get it..."

THEN I tried a more obvious approach with the rest of the family on Christmas morning, I got my older DD the "big sister" shirt. Nobody would read the darn shirt..about two hours into Christmas morning I got frustrated and say, "Did anyone notice her shirt?????" ...My mom goes, "Its not very Christmas-y..." My sister goes, "Was that a hand-me-down from a friend?"

Boy- my whole family is DENSE.

 

[HannaBelle]

First, congratulations!!!! ​

Has your DD ever said anything about wanting siblings? My DD is 9 as well and has been/still is asking for a younger sibling. (Apparently her older brother is not enough )

I think a girl that age would be happy to have a baby in the house...at least on the good days!

I am 6 years older than my younger brother and we have always had a great relationship. My BFF has a sister that is 10 years younger than she is and they too have always had a great relationship.

I don't think you should worry too much!
MomNeedsVacay..that is too funny!!!

 

[emh1129]

Congratulations! I'm sure she is going to be just thrilled.. what exciting news!

 

[NLK]

My DD was 5 when we found out we were going to have another one. We decided to tell her first before anyone else. She was also like you DD, the only grandchild, and greatgrandchild not to mention, the only niece on both sides. So needless to say had gotten a lot of attention. So we got her a book about being a big sister and a shirt and told her we were going to have a baby and she was going to be the best sister ever. Of course it might be alittle different because ours was 5 and yours is 9. But what we thought would make it special for her was we let her tell all our family. She loved it. She called all our family and friends and told them she was going to be a big sister. She loved everyone screaming and yelling and how excited they were. It also got her invovled in the birth from the start and included her in the pregnancy instead of resenting it. That's just how we did it, I hope it gave you some ideas.

 

[ILoveDisney&Cruising]

Boy- my whole family is DENSE.

I LOVED both of your announcements!!!!!

At my son's 1st birthday party, the last present he opened was an "I'm a big brother" shirt. Boy, was my MIL po'ed! She didn't think she should have been told like that in a group setting. Oh well we tried getting together with her for weeks prior so we could tell her 1-on-1 but she never had time for us.

 

[kami2199]

Wow! You are living my life! I'm due with #2 in 7 weeks and my dd will be turning nine shortly after that. We didn't have a chance to do anything really unique as I had told a couple of friends I was expecting before the ultrasound visit. One mentioned it to her SIL and the SIL mentioned it to her niece which is my dd's best friend! So, I found out that she told her the night before the ultrasound visit and had to tell dd before she found out from her best friend! ( I was actually going to frame the U/S photo in a sister type picture frame and give it to her. ) I didn't have much time to tell her so DH and I just sat her down and said "GUESS WHAT!" She was super excited...but that has really started to wear off and she is starting to show some jealousy issues now already - little comments about how much we've had to buy for the baby and now she will have to share me, etc. Just wanted to warn you of that!

 

[reginaastralis]

Congratulations!

My brother and I were twelve and ten when my mom became pregnant with my little sister. I turned 14 two months after she was born. We have the closest relationship. She comes to me for advice, and I get to take her out and get her away from my parents. My parents told us in the normal boring fashion of sitting us down to have a family talk. LOL, I was mortified.

To be honest, my brother and sister have never gotten along. Seriously. She misses him to pieces now that he's gone, but he still sees her as annoying, someone who "took his place". His words, not mine. He never got over his middle child syndrome. He's stationed in California, and last year when my mom picked him up from the airport, they were fighting all the way home. She LOVES him, but he doesn't want to give her the time of day.

Add to that, I now have a daughter. My sister was seven when Julie was born. We went to an older sibling class at our local hospital. Jordyn was one of the older ones there, but she got to learn a lot about babies that day. My sister is also showing some of the signs the pp mentioned, about how the baby gets everything. We've really tried to work with her and show her how equal they are, but there is a bit of resentment.

Good luck, I'm sure not everyone is like my brother. We hope he'll like her, one day.

 

[trayletha]

I sat down this morning to read over this thread and I now have tears running down my face, I've been laughing so hard!!

Thank you all for the congratulations!! And big Congratulations to all the other expecting mommies who replied!!

kristinanderic

Have you discussed with your daughter the possibility of having a sibling?

and

HannaBelle

Has your DD ever said anything about wanting siblings?

It has come up a few times over the years, but not very often in the last few. We've had fertility issues, it took seven years to have our first so while there was a possibility we viewed it along the lines of winning the lottery - it probably wouldn't happen twice.

NLK

She called all our family and friends and told them she was going to be a big sister.

I love this idea, I think it would go a long way to involving her and maybe reduce some of the jealousy.

MomNeedsVacay - OMG I almost wet my pants - my family is the same way, I better just come right out and do it or they won't have a clue!

kami2199 - I love to stay in touch if you didn't mind - it sounds like we'll have a lot in common.

Thank you again for all the replies - I don't feel quite as scared and like a freak now!

 

[jennifer293]

I have 2 sisters..one is 2.5 years older than me and the other is 10.5 years younger than me. My older sister and I have NEVER been close..it was almost like we were not related. She never treated me like her little sister. She was always so jealous of me because I was a sick little girl and always in the hospital which took away a lot of attention away. My baby sister and I have always been close. I tell everyone I raised her because once she was about 2 my parents left her with me a lot while they went out with friends and such. I am 31 now and she is almost 21 and she lives 3 hours away (in college) and my older sister lives about 15 minutes down the road and I have seen my little sister more than I have my older sister.


As far as telling: With my first we bought the grandparents books called " The ABC's of grandparenting"...DH's parents got it right away and the tears became pouring, but since my parents already had grandchildren they took a little while and finally my little sister says " Oh my gosh, did he knock you up?" (she was 12 at the time) I said, " I guess you could put it that way"...lol My dad looks at DH and pats him on the back and says, "GOOD JOB"...I was so embarassed.

With DD#2, I found out in September and I called my mom up and said", Do you have anything going on May 5th"? She says, " I don't know..that is a long time off..why?" I said, " I am going to be in the hospital", she starts crying and says, " OMG..are you ok..what is wrong with you"..I said, " Oh nothing much..I will just be in there having your fourth grandchild and I thought you might like to be there"...she about flipped out!!!! I let DH call his parents..his mom was quite the B@#*H about it. She couldn't understand why we would want another child when we already had one (DH was an only child). She hasn't been very close to DD#2 at all.....His father loves them both unconditionally and the same for his step-mom.

They are almost 4 years apart. They fight like cats and dogs, but wouldn't trade the other for anything in the world!!!

 

[NotUrsula]

I've got a 14 wk old girl and a 10 yo. boy. My answer is that we just sat him down at the dining room table and told him gently. His response was, and I quote: "Wow, that's a shock".

After he heard the news he withdrew for a while, and once things got obvious and people started asking his opinion, he was heard to utter the word apocalypse a few times. Now he pretty much ignores the baby for the most part -- he doesn't hate her or anything, but he really doesn't get what all the excitement is about. I think he'll find her a lot more interesting once her motor skills really kick in and she can be really played with. A girl might react more positively, especially if she was big on dolls when she was little.

None of the "older sibling" classes around here are geared to a grade schooler -- we ended up arranging a private hospital tour with a doula so that he could understand what would happen. I knew that putting him in a class with a bunch of preschoolers would NOT be a good way to convince him that this was a good thing.

We told him second, after my MIL, because we didn't want her to find out from him, since she has a history of responding badly to these announcements, and we didn't want DS to be the only witness to her initial unguarded reaction. We told him the next day. The thing is, we've had several losses that he was unaware of, so we didn't tell them until the 22nd week, because we wanted to be sure that there was actually going to be a live baby. We didn't tell the rest of the relatives until the day after she was born. Actually, I still haven't sent out my formal birth announcement; there are going to be lot more shocked people in the world once I do that this weekend.

I guess the only "advice" I would offer is to be sure to tell her alone, not with other people present. Her initial reaction may not be positive, and you don't want her to be questioned by others about that, or made to feel that how she feels is wrong. Besides, it's a big deal, and she deserves your full attention at that moment.

BTW, I might as well mention that I'm the youngest in my family, and 12 yrs. younger than my next oldest sibling. Family lore has it that there was no joy in Mudville the day that my mother told them, either.

 

[pigget74]

All of my kids bdays are in September so here are their ages---newborn, 2, 10, and 13. They go boy girl, boy girl. Numbe 3 my mom did not respond well to. We were building a house and I was showing her whose room was whose and that is when I told them of the nursery---she responded not to well--then she was great about it. With number 4 I was worried about telling mom--so while we were in Disney I sent her some flowers and the pot says sprouted on it and the card said I will srpout in Spetember. With the kids--number 3 they were both very excited--with number 4 only DD was excited. Oldest DS replied, "Oh MY GOD!!" We don;t know if he was upset or if he realized what mom and dad had been doing All the kids are vey happy with little sister.

 

[blackforest]

We had had 3 ectopic pregnancies, so both of our DD's 12 and 5 are adopted! When we found out that we were getting DD #2, we gave DD #1 a gift bag with a binky, and a bib that said, "My sister is the best!"

So, here we are videotaping the "grand reveal" and we tell her that we have a surprise for her!! So, before she opens the gift bag, DD says, "Oh, did you get me a puppy?" Well, over the tears and the laughter we said no, a new brother or sister, then she really started in! Between her tears and laughter and ours we are all a mess!

 

[traci]

you could have a family dinner. put a hotdog "bun" in your oven. have them open it and see who gets the message first

 

[traci]

Congrats!
With my 2nd DD --I "announced" her to my DH by placing a hot dog bun in the oven. When he came home from work- he naturally asked, "What do you want to do for dinner?"..I told him to go look in the oven. He goes, "Soooooooo,........ we are having bread?" I said, "Noooooooo... its a bun"...."Get it?" He goes, "So we are having a cold hot dog bun for dinner?Did you not go to the store this week?" I impatiently go, "Its a BUN and its in the OVEN...GET IT???? BUNnnnnn.....in the Ovennnn??????????????"

........"and thats what we are having for dinner? I don't get it..."

THEN I tried a more obvious approach with the rest of the family on Christmas morning, I got my older DD the "big sister" shirt. Nobody would read the darn shirt..about two hours into Christmas morning I got frustrated and say, "Did anyone notice her shirt?????" ...My mom goes, "Its not very Christmas-y..." My sister goes, "Was that a hand-me-down from a friend?"

Boy- my whole family is DENSE.

I should have read all the posts first

by the way I love this idea!!

 

[tweedlemom]

My DS was 9 months old when we found out we were pregnant again. We waited until I was 12 weeks pregnant, then at the end of a family dinner, my husband announced that we had made plans to go to Disney World. He said, "yeah, we'll be going to Disney in April 2008 because the kids will be 5 and 6 years old then, and we think that's a good age to bring them to Disney." Everyone just said, oh that's nice, until my SIL said, "Did you say kids???" All were shocked and thrilled!

 

[sskem96]

I found out I was pregnant the day of my bridal shower. We already had our honeymoon to Disney planned, so when we returned from the honeymoon and had family over for the opening of the wedding gifts, we gave our parents the souveniers we had bought them at Disney. They were Disney mugs that said "Grandma" and Grandpa" on them. DH's stepdad said, "I think I got the wrong one" and we said no, that's the right one, you're going to be a Grandpa in December!

DD10's best friend was 8 1/2 when her brother was born 2 years ago. They get along great. She even gets him dressed in the morning before her mom is even up sometimes!

 

[coolbeans]

My DD was 10 when her brother was born. I think it's different when the older sibling is a girl. She was very involved from the moment we found out. she went with us to all my doctors appts, and "helped" the doc find the heartbeat (think cold gel on my warm belly, she got the giggles), she was there when we saw the vital boy parts, and was the first one to hold him after DH when I had the c-section. She was involved in picking out his coming home outfit, packing his diaper bag, my hospital bag and her entertainment bags. She stayed in the hospital room with me and DH all three nites that I was there. I think that made a huge difference. DS is 18 months now and DD is 11.