OT - Feeling Angry and Sad Right Now

[Decorated_Dust]

I have not been on the boards very much since I moved to East Tennessee, mostly because of the reminder that I'm far from WDW and might not be going back soon. However, I felt the need to come back and rant to an understanding crowd. I know there has been a fair share of sadness on these boards as of late, and I'm sorry if this seems superfluous in that context, or if it is adding to the problems, but I can't say anything significant on Facebook, and I can't hold it in any longer.

I have been working in the mental health field for about a year now in a direct care setting. I have tried to maintain the milieu for a group of girls who are in serious need of treatment. For ten months, I thought I was doing the right thing, but I can't say that anymore. I feel like I have lost the fight. While I am looking for another job at the moment, that doesn't stop that fact that once I leave, I will probably be the last staff that believes in what our program used to be...in what it is supposed to do. Now it is not doing that, and it is literally making me sick to my stomach.

In a few weeks, I will be starting graduate school and going for my Masters in Social Work. Once I receive that, I hope to make a difference in a leadership role, and what I have experienced thus far will play a pivotal role in that. However, right now I feel very helpless, and I feel like a variety of patients are not being done any favors because of the attitude of the higher ups and my coworkers in my facility. On top of that, I feel like any effort I make now will be for naught, and that I should not even try lest I become more sad and angry.

I know it is easy to say that I should just find another job, but for me this is different. This is my passion. I have been at this place for almost a year, and have seen what a success it could be. Now it is a shell of what it once was. To a lesser extent, it reminds me of my passion for Disney. After spending my whole life feeling it's magic and realizing how wonderful it is, seeing some of the things the leadership is doing now makes me sick. This is not just a theme park to me, but a piece of my life. I finally understand why Pete gets so angry.

I made this purposefully vague because of privacy reasons, and I'm sure this is just my hyper emotions talking, but feelings are feelings. For anyone who made it this far, thank you for letting me vent, and please pray for my patients as well as myself. I feel like I can't say anything else except for a very well-known prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference....just for today. Amen.

 

[AnneR]

{{hgs}} Dust - I actually remember your excitement in moving to Tennessee. I am sorry that your current position is so frustrating!

I too work in the mental health field and know that it can be extremely challenging. The people we are trying to help need so much help. Yet funding for services is almost always bare bones.

The other challenge in what we do is that we have hope that peoples lives can be better but sometimes they don't carry that hope themselves.

I commend you for your plan to get yours Masters in Social Work, we certainly need good Social Workers committed to this field.

My advice - learn all you can from this experience, don't be afraid to try another position, you may find it more rewarding.

For me, I stuck out those tough years in direct care and now am in the leadership position - I get the honor of making key decisions, hope I am doing a better job of listening to those out there on the front line and of course hear that I don't understand

 

[Kimberle]

I'm sorry you're fealing so down, now. Working in the mental health field is very tough. I'm sure you've seen/heard things that would make our toes curl. Try and focus on the "good" you've done and the people you've helped. I'm sure there are many who've benifited from your loving care. Best wishes finding a job you love.

 

[mrzrich]

You are not alone.

I am a hospice nurse who has watch administrative decisions really change the amount of time I am able to spend at the bedside. The job isn't what it used to be, and I have the worst case of compassion fatigue I've ever had.

I always felt I was called to this job, but lately I am seriously thinking about leaving.

I really have no advice to offer, only this hug

 

[DrMomof3]

I'm sorry! I don't work in mental health but I work in health care in an inner city setting. When you can't get the cooperation of the administration to help care for those in serious need, it is incredibly frustrating!!! (I'm lucky that one of our hospital's missions is to care for the inner city population that I serve.) I know that if I felt that my hospital no longer cared about the patients who need us most, I would have to leave.
I hope you find a way to continue to be passionate without breaking your own heart!

Amanda

 

[AlbertZeroK]

Being on the other side of the mental health field, I can tell you clearly, one person can make a difference. We are unable to have children and have become foster parents in order to adopt children. Last Thanksgiving, we were given the opportunity to take a 14 year old girl out for Thanksgiving dinner because she had no family that wanted to have anything to do with her. This girl has been in foster care for 7 years with multiple foster homes, two failed adoptions and 2 long term residential care facilities. To make the story short, in March, she was placed in our home on a 6 month adoptive placement trial. Our family is stable, she is flourishing in fact and on Sept 15th, we can adopt. We are lucky she was taken off all her psychotropic medications and she's recently stopped taking other medications she no longer needs, in fact, she takes a thyroid pill and vitamins! (Exceedingly rare for a child with her history.)

Now, my wife and I are very passionate about what we do, I too can understand Pete's passion. This child in our home is our child, OUR daughter. And while we've had training that is rare for foster parents in our state, I can tell you, every day, I thank two people in her past. Two mental health professionals, one councilor, one staff member, two people who she will always remember, two people who never gave up on her. Two people she still speaks highly of.

It is not rare to find shining lights in children's lives. All it takes is someone to listen, someone to care, someone to be there. I can't thank those people who have helped my daughter so much in her life. Please never forget how much one person can matter to a child!

 

[DiRTyBuNNy]

Hey, another DISer in East Tennessee! Sorry about your job. I go through that a lot myself but I just really have to keep powering through with the knowledget that I do a great job and I am effecting people in a positive manner and that's what really matters.
--DB

 

[*NikkiBell*]

I am so glad you came here to rely on us for support. Never be sorry for venting or asking for positive words. It cleanses the soul.

 

[Decorated_Dust]

Thanks everyone. It's good to know that I'm not alone. Talking about it always makes me feel better.

I actually still love it here in East Tennessee and would not trade my move here for anything. The job I have now was the gateway, and I will always be grateful for that. Now, God has something else in mind for me. I just hoping it manifests itself soon.

AlbertZeroK - God bless you for doing what you have done. So many of the kids I see have been put in the system and then adopted as teenagers. I also see several who have been put back in the system when parents are not able to handle it anymore. What a blessing it is that your daughter is well and happy. It is always encouraging to hear stories like that.

 

[lttlmc3]

wow, I'm really sorry about your job. But I totally understand about not being able to talk to anyone about it. Here is a place where people will not judge you. Here, I have been very open about hardships in my life concerning my husband and our current bankruptcy. The Dis is a place I know I can vent and still have people talk to me without any kind of judgement in anyway. Sometimes it's soo much easier to speak to those who are not in the box of the situation.
Anyway, I live just outside of Nashville and I want to say hello!