OT: Does anyone else take their children out to nice restaurants?

[_queenie_]

We're definately foodies, and love taking our children out to eat with us (DS17, DD13, DD3). They're good eaters themselves, and are quiet (usually) and are very well mannered. If they're welcome, we'll take them, and if they aren't (some places don't allow anyone under 18), we don't. Anyway, more and more lately I've been noticing stares when we go out to eat. I can't count how many dirty looks we've been getting. I don't really understand it, most of the time their behavior is better than half of the adults! I guess I don't get why their simple presence is so disturbing. I know a lot of people try to have a nice night out away from their children, but unless the restaurant doesn't want us dining there, I don't see the problem.

Am I just crazy, or does anyone else notice the same thing?

 

[PrincessKell]

I think that if your kids are well behaved then what is the difference if they are there or not.

We personally do not take Georgia to many places because she has the possibility to have a melt down in the middle of dinner. We have to bring alot with us just to get us through waiting for our food. Even though she is six, she still has the emotional and social of a 3 year old. So nice places for us are out. so we just do not go period. haha i would love a nice dinner once in a while but we tend to stay with the kiddo.

I dont understand the dirty looks. I could see if the kids are LOUD and throwing things or rude. But if not, then why? I think its great your kids are awesome at nice places. or any place period. That is great!

 

[Pamlur]

I took my children from the time they were very young, and now we take my grandchildren. There are enough of us, usually, to keep the kidlets entertained, and we focus completely on our own party.

 

[mjlewis23]

We took our 8 yr old DD to a very fancy restaurant for my birthday this year. This is a restaurant where people usually don't bring kids (I have not seen a single one in there whenever I have dined). However, they don't have rules against kids, and I wanted to share an upscale dining experience with her. She is well mannered, and I was sure she would be fine. I didn't notice much but my husband said people looked at her like she had 3 heads. She was very well behaved the whole time we were there. I guess I could understand people maybe not wanting to be around kids while they are enjoying a nice, and very expensive dinner, but truly, some of the adults were more obnoxious. (like the couple a couple tables over who decided they were going to argue and walk out....nice). Anyways, I can sympathize with you.

 

[Nancyg56]

I took my children out when they were young and they knew how to behave. Now we take my DGD out to nice meals and she is well behaved. I think I understand a look initially becasue there really are folk who feel that the price of an expensive meal is enough to allow their darlings to raise a ruckus. Once you have had that experience you may look a little nervous when kids walk in on your evening out. It is a shame that children get that bad rap though. My DGD loves to go out to eat, she enjoys dressing up and the excitement of a special evening. She also enjoys her food and used her "best manners" to show the server that she is appreciative. She does understand that one rude comment or any shenanigans that disturb other diners will ensure that she is not included on the next special evening.

OP don't worry about the looks. You are giving your children training that will be invaluable as they get older. I cannot tell you how many young adults have no skills while at an upscale restaurant because they were not given the opportunity to learn under their parents watchful eyes.

 

[_queenie_]

Wow, I was beginning to think we were the only ones! I like to see other people taking their children out to eat, I was afraid I was going to get flamed.

 

[stepnut]

Sort of a funny story about us and restaurants:

My son has lots of life-threatening food allergies, and because I was so uncomfortable with eating out, we never took him to a restaurant when he was young. NEVER. The kid never knew meals outside of our own home. We never even went on vacation.

When he was about 5, and his little sister was 3.5, a friend of mine suggested taking the kids to the local McDonalds with the big play area for a much needed mom break. The idea had never occurred to me because we never did outside eating. SHe said you don't need to buy anything to eat in order to play...I didn't know that!

So I decided to take them. I figured I'd get a diet coke, bring a book to read, and let them play thier little hearts out.

We walked into the McDonalds, and my son took a look at this strange new site...people sitting at tables eating food, and he yells at the top of his lungs in a most astonished tone: "WOW!!!! This is a RESTAURANT!!!" He was elated!

He had never seen one!

I laugh every time I remember that moment.

That was about 4 years ago, and we still don't do a lot of restaurants. I have since taken them to a few, and we've even been on vacation! But to take them to a nice fancy place...oh no! They're wanting to be entertained every second, and that's exhausting for the time it takes to do some fine dining. Bob Evans is about our limit of sophistication.

If I see you in a fancy restaurant, I'm looking at you with envy! I LOVE fancy restaurants, but I'm going to have to wait a few more years to take my kids!

 

[nascar-j]

My DW and I were older when we adopted my DS. We're in our late 40's and he's 10 now. We generally eat out somewhere (sit down restaurants) 2-3 nights a week. We've done this since we got our son 8 years ago. Every once in a while we would get a look at some of the nicer restaurants but I never really cared. Maybe that's part of being a 40 something. I don't care what others think anymore. We get more comments from other parents, especially when we take one of his friends with us. They don't understand why we would take a kid to a $30-40/person type of place. I tell them that I enjoy good food and I enjoy being with my son.

j

 

[Wit]

My Partner and I take our girls to various restaurants all the time. The only time we leave them out is if it is a date night, or if children are not permitted (which is VERY rare). We usually go to Chicago, which we live just south of, for our fine dining. It must just be a regional/cultural thing because we have never once been given looks for having our children along. Our girls are well behaved, and our oldest (10) likes fine dining better, because there is less noisiness than your local Applebees. She has ADD and high noise volume tends to irritate her.

I think as long as your children know how to dine, there should never be looks. If there are, just look back . It's up to us as parents to make sure our children know how to act and many different circumstances. If you don't give them the opportunity to experience something, you won't have the opportunity to teach them. Smile at glares I say! It usually works when we get stares for being a family with openly gay parents.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

My kids have been to nice restaurants since they were little. Quite honestly, it is usually with my parents. They are foodies and can afford it. Once a hostess walked across two parking lots to borrow a high chair for us! She did say she had done it a couple of times before... There is a restaurant in Indy that just changed their policy to 8 and above. Only my oldest fits that. My dad talked to the owner, and we are allowed. I will say we get funny looks at that one. My kids are very well behaved. I actually think they are better behaved at the nicer restaurants than at an Applebees. There is something about dressing up. We also don't hesitate to take them out if they start to act the least bit out of hand. It has happened to each once and never again!

 

[hoosiergirl7]

My MIL & FIL celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary in March 07 and we took them to a pretty nice restaurant. All told there were 12 of us including 4 kids DNiece 5, DNiece 3, DS 3, DNiece 1.5 and all 4 kids were very well behaved. I don't remember seeing a whole lot of other kids in the restaurant. The few times I've eaten there it's been mostly adults.

DH is turning 40 in April and we are taking our WDW vacation during that time and have ADR's for Narcoossee's. We are taking our DS, now 4 with us and won't worry about it because he eats out often enough he knows what's expected of him and how he's supposed to behave in a restaurant. DS is also much better behaved after a nap so we will make sure that he gets one that day.

I've just come to the conclusion not to worry too much about what other people think. I get enough people staring at us because we're the parents of an adopted child who is bi-racial (Caucasian/black American) and hopefully soon to be parents of a little girl from China. Can't wait for the stares from that!!!

 

[hoosiergirl7]

My kids have been to nice restaurants since they were little. Quite honestly, it is usually with my parents. They are foodies and can afford it. Once a hostess walked across two parking lots to borrow a high chair for us! She did say she had done it a couple of times before... There is a restaurant in Indy that just changed their policy to 8 and above. Only my oldest fits that. My dad talked to the owner, and we are allowed. I will say we get funny looks at that one. My kids are very well behaved. I actually think they are better behaved at the nicer restaurants than at an Applebees. There is something about dressing up. We also don't hesitate to take them out if they start to act the least bit out of hand. It has happened to each once and never again!

Which restaurant is this? I'm a native Indy gal and go home all the time to visit my parents and siblings. We'll be moving back in 3 yrs and I CANNOT WAIT!!!!

 

[katie111]

My kids are younger, ages 5, 4 and 9 months so we don't go to a lot of fine restaurants with them. However, we do go out to eat a lot. And because my husband works long hours, often times I'll take them out to eat by myself. I can't tell you how many strange looks I get. The other night we went to the Olive Garden & I swear half the place was staring at me. I can't tell if its pity, or just "what the heck is she thinking?" or what. My kids are very well behaved at restaurants & as a matter of fact 2 different tables stopped me on the way out that night & told me how impressed they were with them. I think kids need to go out in order to learn how to behave in a restaurant. Also I feel like its great family time when we can just sit & talk without any distractions like phones, TV, toys, etc. I know as they get older we will definitely start taking them to nicer & nicer places and we'll be confident that they'll have the manners to handle it.

That being said, I do know that occasionally when I have a girls night out with my other "Mom" friends, we do kind of secretly hope that we won't be seated next to anyone with kids. However, if we are, we usually just end up discussing how cute they are anyways.

 

[Snow Shoe]

All three of our children have been taken out to nice restaurants all their lives. Now they are taking their children out also. WE have no problems taking the grandkids to any restaurant, fastfood or sit down knowing that they will behave properly without any major disciplen problems. If you don't take them out, how can you expect them to behave well when they are out?

 

[CapeCodMouse]

We have been taking my DS out to restaurants since he was in a baby carrier. He learned very early on the importance of manners and we learned to bring several things to entertain him so we could eat. He also is not a picky eater - he will try everything and anything at least once. We have gotten the same dirty looks from people when we have showed up with him to a "fancy' restuarant, and those same people end up stopping by our table on their way out to compliment him on how well-behaved and quiet he is. I have to say, the invention of the portable DVD player with headphones has helped a lot. Most of the places we go, we go to frequently, so the waiters and waitresses know my son by name, and will sit down with him for a few minutes to see what movie he is watching. If he is not doing that, he is playing with his action figures, or coloring and drawing. I think I have only removed him from a restaurant once - and it only took that one time for him to smarten up and never do it again

 

[brightvalleyjrts]

Well, since I don't cook, we eat out a lot. At least 3 or 4 times a week. My boys are 2 and 5, and they do great while out to eat. We always have people come up and comment on how well behaved they have been.

The problem is when we do eat at home, they are usually obnoxious!

 

[jetprincess]

Maybe they are staring b/c your kids are so well behaved!!

 

[ktrain]

I work as a waitress and I love to see families with well behaved children out to eat. I can always tell families that actually are used to sitting down at the table and eating as a family at home. They are the ones who are well behaved in restaurants. I always compliment parents on children with good manners. There is nothing better than seeing a five year old order for themselves and and say please and thank you to the waiter. Just as there is nothing worse than seeing a child climbing over the back of a booth or running in the aisle in front of a waiter with hot coffee or a heavy tray.

I have an eight and a ten year old who have been dinning out at all types of restaurant since young ages and am very thankful that we began "training' them early.

 

[eliza61]

. If they're welcome, we'll take them, and if they aren't (some places don't allow anyone under 18), we don't. Anyway, more and more lately I've been noticing stares when we go out to eat. I can't count how many dirty looks we've been getting. I don't really understand it, most of the time their behavior is better than half of the adults! I guess I don't get why their simple presence is so disturbing. I know a lot of people try to have a nice night out away from their children, but unless the restaurant doesn't want us dining there, I don't see the problem.

Am I just crazy, or does anyone else notice the same thing?

Generally, I did not take my kids to fancy restaurants until they were 9 or 10. I think it's because most of the fancy restuarants in my area are usually very quiet and have a dimmed light, romantic groove. Even though I think my kids were pretty well behaved, they were still noisey and to try and hush a 3 year old for 90 minutes is hard. Most kids are well behaved but are still kids, so I know when I'm out for a romantic evening with my sweetie, I will try to go some where sans kids. I try to remember that just because I'm a mom and I love children, not every one has to feel that way. Even as a mom of 3 I hate when people bring newborns to the movies if they can't get a sitter.

 

[okeydokey]

I think families with children get a bad rap in restaurants because just about everyone has had a bad restaurant experience with kids at some point. You know the ones when the kids are up walking around and crawling under tables and the parents just sit there and don't pay attention. Unfortunately it gives us all bad reputations. It's the same on airplanes when families with kids take their seats and everyone around them dreads it.