OT:Do you and your spouse date?

[Goofy'slady]

Each other of course, lol. I mean do you have a regular date night where you spend time together away from the kids? If so how often and what are some of the things you do?

My husband and I have a once a month date night and we've been doing it now for 1year. Once a month may not sound like a lot but for us it works out just fine. It can be difficult to find a weekend night that we're something with our girls isn't planned or we're invited to some sort of get together with friends, finding a babysitter, and coming up with something different to do(we try to keep it interesting); so once a month is perfect. We even take turns planning the "date nite". This month it's my turn and this Saturday night my BFF is taking the kids over night and the hubby and I are going to the driving range to hit a few balls; he loves golf and I don't so I meet him half way and we do the driving range instead of 9 or 18 holes(shhh, but I even have fun doing this); we're having dinner then a movie. Sunday we'll have breakfast at our favorite pancake house(and no, it's not the IHOP ) and then we'll catch an afternoon movie before the girls get back home. Next month will be DH's turn and the good thing about September is that both of our birthdays and our wedding anniversary so next month's date should be really good.

T.

 

[MusiqChic99]

We try our best to plan a date night too. It's usually not monthly but at least every 3 months.

Ours is always dinner and a movie and usually some much needed shopping. We have a 2 year old son and it's hard to take him places now so we save our nights for nice resturants and the mall...both of which are hard to take my son now that he likes to throw fits.

I think it's great to have time to yourselfs to reconnect and enjoy each other. Sometimes during "regular life" things tend to be pushed to the side. I'm hoping to be able to have date nights be a little more regular for us.

 

[disneybridetobe]

LOL... What is this "date" thing you speak of?

I think we get out once every 2-3 months. We get a dinner at the CaliGrill on our trip, so I'm REALLY looking forward to that!

 

[dzorn]

We do not have a regular time, but occasionally go out to dinner or the movies without the kids. The kids also spend the night at Grandma's occasionally giving us some time alone.

Denise in MI

 

[disneymomof2boyz]

We also have a "date night" every month...or at least we try to have one every month. I love it, I think it gives us a much needed break from the ordinary aspects of life, and helps us remember that we are a couple above mommy and daddy.

We also usually do a movie with dinner, and some shopping as well. It is very hard to shop with 2 boys who are 3 and 4.

 

[Carlyzmom]

My Dad works out of town all week and comes in on Friday nights. My parents always get my two kiddos to spend the night and DH and I get our date night. Very refreshing to get some grown-up conversation and get through a meal without taking someone to the potty!!!!

 

[taitai]

We have a standing Saturday night date night. Sometimes we go out with other couples, sometimes just us. We do movies, dinner, concerts, lectures, snowboarding, tennis, whatever.

We also do one no-kids trip a year. Never more than a week but we never miss it.

It is really important to us to do stuff without our kids as they are so all-consuming when they are around that we rarely have a chance to talk.

taitai

 

[Goofy'slady]

We have a standing Saturday night date night. Sometimes we go out with other couples, sometimes just us. We do movies, dinner, concerts, lectures, snowboarding, tennis, whatever.

We also do one no-kids trip a year. Never more than a week but we never miss it.

It is really important to us to do stuff without our kids as they are so all-consuming when they are around that we rarely have a chance to talk.

taitai

Last year we did a Disney trip for our b-day and anniversary presents to ourselves w/o the children. We had a blast, not that we didn't miss the kids but it was sooo nice to experience Disney without diaper bags, potty breaks every 15mins, whining, and meltdowns in the middle of dinner. We also, took a fam vaca to the World right before so it was 2 for us last year and that was doubly nice. We wanted a small weekend get away for ourselves but after our fam vaca this year to the World, a trip to Amish country in PA and a trip to Williamsburg last week we didn't think we could afford it. Turns out that we were able to save a bit of money but oppted to use it in other ways, so no getaway trip for us this year but it's never to early to start planning next years.

 

[shane&jakesmom]

I'm not really interested in dating my husband. Can I date someone else once a month LOL

Kidding, I think it's great that you do that it's always important to find time together without the kids sometimes.

 

[happymommy]

Yes! Not regularly, as DH works a lot so the weekends he wants to spend time with the kids, but we do try to get out sometimes without them. Now my kids are old enough to stay home alone (we don't leave them too long or overnight of course) so sometimes on Saturday morning, we go to the gym together for 2 hours to work out together. Also, I'll feed them and then we'll go out close to home just for dinner on a Saturday. That was fun.

We used to have to get sitters - although in laws are nearby, for some reason they have never offered to come sit. Weird I know - asking them is like pulling teeth - grrr.....

Last year, we went to the Caribbean for 5 nights alone! We both turned 40 and I really didn't want to take the kids - we went to Peter Island where they would be totally bored. It was so relaxing! We swam, snorkeled, sailed, and relaxed. I think it is so good for your marriage. My dear friend came and stayed with the kids. Thank GOD for her!

It is so good for your marriage to spend time alone together. We don't do it often enough - only every few months honestly for the night out. I'd do it more if in-laws would offer to come over.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

LOL... What is this "date" thing you speak of?

I think we get out once every 2-3 months. We get a dinner at the CaliGrill on our trip, so I'm REALLY looking forward to that!

We had a baby in February...since I couldnt really go out how we wanted while I was pregnant...we said after the baby is born we would...
We have yet to get out

 

[Disney Mommy 3]

YES!!! I love dates with Mike! It's the only time we can have a full conversation!!! We have 3 kids that we dearly love, but mercy---all those interruptions drive ya nuts when you try to talk.

We use to do once a month--but lately it's been few and far between. We go eat dinner, then go to a bookstore and browse, or a little dessert place where we can visit. I really don't like going to movies for date night. I would much rather listen to him talk!!!

So, they do rate high on the list of favorite things to do. In fact, our last Disney trip we let the kids do the Kid Club at the BC and we went over to Germany for dinner. It was so nice!!

 

[kimsuenew]

My husband and I have went out by ourselves less than 5 times (and that is more than likely pushing it, in reality I can count three times) in almost 19 years of marriage and have taken zero trips by ourself.

Why? Well... because we can have "us time" at night, or when DS is elsewhere, and because we see us (and both DH and I feel the same way) as a "family unit"... we include our son in our anniversary celebrations, birthday celebrations, vactions, and simple dinner/movies out. We figure the day will come soon enough that DS will move away, we will have plenty of "us time" then!

There is a couple that we are great friends with, they have been married close to 15 years now I guess, and they have always had a "weekly date night".

I think it depends on the couple, and perhaps on how you are raised (but not always).

I know my parents never left us at home and went out, or even visited friends without us... we went as a family (four girls and their parents).

DH never had his parents do "the date thing" either however his only sibling (sister) takes multiple vacations (some lengthy and some week-ends only) without her kids and she and her DH always go out without their children... in fact eating out as a family is fast-food meals only, eating out as a couple is always done at the nicer local chain places (like Olive Garden or Ruby Tueday's).

I guess that whatever you agree on, and whatever works for you as a couple, is "the right thing"!

I know people find our way a bit odd, and I admit I find my sister-in-law's way more than a bit odd... but both marriages are strong and healthy, so what works for each of us is working well!

 

[happymommy]

I agree - what works for you may be different than others.

My son is difficult sometimes (ADHD) and I need a bit of time away for my sanity! He is in school which helps, but he demands more than my DD.

My parents went out weekly, and on vacations frequently without us. I babysat my older sister who is a quadriplegic many times as well. So I don't want to go away that often. DH's parents had a different relationship - never went on any sort of vacation with our without the kids or dated or anything. DH's first vacation was our first trip to Disney the year before we got married!

When our kids were very young, we used to take them with us to very nice places. Remarkably, when they were dressed up, they behaved so well! I always did have a plan, like a new coloring book or matchbox car, something simple, but it did the trick. We used to love to go to brunch at the Ritz (we have a couple here in DC) with them and linger all morning (I would nurse DD at the table, discreetly of course) even, and it was fun!

We have also hired an overnight sitter for one night to go to the Ritz and just spoil ourselves. It was fun for all of us - they liked the sitter (she was a college student studying teaching, had a lot of energy). That has been years since we did that, until our one trip without them last year.

For the PP who had a baby in February - congrats! I found when they were babies, though, they could just get settled in their jammies and fall asleep in the stroller while we enjoyed a nice dinner. It's when they are older (like now) they want different stuff - and they bring their Nintendo DS always - not the best manners but they have something to do while we do grownup talk.

 

[Disney Mommy 3]

Wanted to add to my previos post. We didn't start doing the date thing until the last baby was about 3--I don't leave my kids with many people and my parents don't live close enough to help me out. We always do everything with our kids included--so date nights periodically are great for us. I too have friends who leave their kids a lot. One girl in particular does not work, and pays some one to keep her kids 3days a week!! Her and her hubby always go out of town for 2-3 day weekend trips and leave their kids with grandparents. For us, that's too much--but for them it's the only way!

Our first date nights were started because our church started a parent's night out for those of us with smaller children. The majority of us weren't getting any time together and it was great because it was people from our church who keep the kids in nursery on Sun mornings.Our kids were comfortable and their friends were there-so it was great for all of us. Plus it was a good way for our nursery department to get extra money for new toys or playground stuff

I think I may have to remind them how great this was, I feel the need for a date night......

 

[3goofyboys]

We go out for dinner or a movie about once a week. I'm lucky in that my parents and my MIL both live close and adore our kids. In fact, we probably wouldn't go so often, but both sets of grandparents practically shove us out the door! We usually don't leave until our younger DS is in bed, then our older DS gets some special one on one time with the grandparents, plus for my MIL especially, two kiddos under 3 can be a bit daunting. I think it's great for our marriage, often it's on these dates that I remember great things about my husband that might have been forgotten in the wonderful insanity that is having small children.

 

[AKBAFB]

Just this summer, in fact, I hired a babysitter for a standing engagement every Tuesday evening for date night. I finally felt ok leaving the kids at home with a sitter since the youngest is 3 now, and it felt like the only time DH and I ever talked was either to vent about work or communicate stuff like "the kids have a dr appt wed" or "did you pay the cable bill?" type of things. I was thinking we just needed some time to enjoy each other again - and it really has been wonderful! Now that school is starting (and dance, and cheer, and football, and volleyball, and sunday school, etc...) we probably won't be able to keep it every week, but definitely once a month!

 

[katied]

YES! I think DH and I are really lucky because my MIL is just 1/2 mile away and will watch DS for us every week (or more) so we can have a dinner out, or see a movie, or whatever. Sometime's its a nice meal out, sometimes it's a more simple meal, but it is nice to have a few hours a week of "adult only" time. Plus MIL likes her one-on-one time with DS - so we all come out ahead.


(I'm reading this and thinking a few years back, "lucky" is not the word I would have used about having my MIL so close)

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

You better believe we have date nights. Its the only thing that keeps me sane.

I like to spend time wih my DH and have conversations without the kids prying and over hearing something we may not want them to hear. I love my kids, but feel that it is DH's and my time to reconnect as a couple also. Which IMOP is very important.

We also try and go away by ourselves once a year. My mom is close and retired, so she watches the kids, which I know I am very lucky to have because most people don't have that luxury.

We haven't been away alone for about 1 1/2 yrs because we built a house last year, but during our WDW trip in October , we are putting the kids in the Sandcastle club for a night and doing the F&W festival alone.

And 2 days ago he surprised me and booked a trip to St. Lucia for just him and I for March of next year. We've been married 18 years but have been together since high school. Guess he's not all that bad.

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

My mom lives a block away and my children love to spend every Friday night with her. My daughter has been staying with her for the last 2 years and my son started staying over in January. So, DH and I have every Friday night for just the two of us. When the children have early morning ball games, they do not spend the night. This summer my DD had softball tournaments for 3 weekends in a row and could not spend the night with Grammy. It about killed her! I am grateful for my Friday nights!!! It did take only about 6 years with no dates.