OT: Dilema - Keeping me up at night... (Advice please!)

[disykat]

I'd have him move and you stay for now. You can start job hunting. See each other on weekends. It will then become more clear to you whether you are willing and ready to move. I don't see the rush - you aren't married yet.

I would not move and become unemployed for someone I wasn't married to. You could find yourself alone with no income if it doesn't work out. Wait awhile, see how you feel about spending some time apart, do some job hunting, etc.

 

[Marseeya]

True. But a engagement implies a "ring and a date". Without it your are just living together. Hence the problem she has leaving her family and job. Honestly would you do that for a "boyfriend"? Think about it.
So she moves, finds a job, and then they "break up". She has a lot to lose. He does not.

No, I probably wouldn't uproot myself for a boyfriend, but for a fiance or husband, no question.

I went back and read her first post again and I'm not clear on how long they've actually been engaged. She says they've been together five years and they are engaged and looking forward to getting married -- so the question is, how long has the engagement been out of that five years?

I guess we'll have to wait for the OP to come back and answer that!

Oh, and OP, I'm glad you got to sleep on it and you feel better about it. Things often do look better in the morning.

 

[misslissa]

Ok... wanna hear what I'M gonna do??? DF's new job gives him a 3 month probation. We're going to live here for that three months, and then depending on how that 3 month review goes... we'll decide what is going to happen. Possibly we'll give our 2 month rent notice then. I'm not hurrying anything by any means, but I like to think ahead and have a plan.

DF seems pretty determined to NOT have to commute that far... 'cause the new job happens to be in a city that we both travel to alot. And, I'm not sure if I mentioned this but I only work 6 months of the year, so I realized that realistically, a pay cut of several hundred dollars a month wouldn't make that big of a deal in the long run. I've been looking for something where his new job is... it just sucks how low the pay seems to be.

Anyway, and as for people not knowing my age, and asking about "a ring and a date"... I guess I called for that by posting a personal thing on this board. So, here goes...

If you check out my sig. I'm 22 and DF is 24... almost 25. I don't mean to toot our own horns here but we're both pretty smart. When I met him, he had just finished college (3 years) at the age of 20. I was 17... I was starting college, I also finished a 3 year diploma at age 20. We were kind of both sped ahead in our schooling. So, I had that to deal with. DF proposed when I was 18 and we set a date immediately. But then, some opportunities came up and I went to Europe to teach college. Tourism. So, our date was moved. Then, we moved in together. Things between us have been peachy. No new date yet, but I don't doubt him. And, I have a nice BIG ring on my finger... I hope that sheds a little more light.

 

[Marseeya]

OMG, am I blind??? Did you have that in your sig the whole time?



Sorry, I don't really look at sigs except to see the pretty pictures.