OT: DD won't take a bottle!

[Mommy2Abby]

I know this is off topic but I'm desperate for some help! DD is 11 weeks old and she is suddenly refusing to take a bottle. She has been primarily breastfed but I introduced the bottle at about 5 weeks and she did fine. She has been switching back and forth just fine until about a week ago, when she started refusing the bottle.

Unfortunately, I have to go back to work in a few more weeks and I don't know what I'm going to do! Obviously she can't go all day without eating.

Does anyone have any tips or tricks for convincing her to take the bottle while Mommy's away??? I've tried having other people give her the bottle while I'm not around, thinking maybe it was just Mommy that she didn't want the bottle from, but they've had no better luck. I've tried two different kinds of bottles too, Avent and Playtex.

Any thoughts or suggestions as to how to convince my stubborn DD are much appreciated. Thanks!

Mommy2Abby

 

[bedillamouse]

I'm assuming she is refusing the bottle but not you so she is eating....sounds like she has decided that you are much better which I believe is a common thing. I had the opposit issue where I was refused and they wanted the bottle. I was told that if they are hungry they will eat....I struggled with that. Have you thought about contacting someone from the the la lache league or someone like that? I know they are about breastfeeding but I'm sure they've had questions about moms going back to work and bottle feeding while at work and mommy feeding while at home.

sorry I couldn't help more.

 

[mpls_mm]

She can go without eating. My son refused a bottle when I was working. He just tended to sleep a little more during the day. My daycare freaked out but I joined La Leche and found out that some babies just prefer to not have a bottle. Some people that freak out about a baby going 8 hours without eating don't mind a baby getting 8 hours of sleep and not waking to eat. I would join one of the groups or discussion boards that are geared towards nursing and helping you continue to nurse. He did eventually go back to having breast milk in a bottle, but it was great bonding time for us.

 

[greens_in_WA]

Some tips I was given were: make sure you are nowhere near the baby when the bottle is being given. Your smell says the breast is available. My MIL gave my daughter formula (when she was a bit older) and DH and I took a night away. She felt that the breast milk was too confusing, made the baby think I should be there, so it was rejected. (All that work pumping for nothing! )

 

[deva]

I was in the same boat - my first and third were fine switching back and forth. Second wanted NOTHING to do with the bottle after about 16 weeks. Up until then she had used the Avent with no problems, but then suddenly stopped drinking from it. I tried other bottles/nipples. Heck, I tried those bottles from One Step Ahead that look like a fake breast - nothing. I went back to work part time a few weeks later. Faithfullly pumped and sent 8-10 oz every day. Sitter tried feeding her twice every day. Never drank a drop. Also tried formula when I wasn't pumping quite as much and she never took that either. She still nursed morning and night and on the days I was home from work l nursed 2 more times during the day. Dr. was not concerned because she was growing and gaining weight. We just went right to the sippy cup around a year and transitioned to whole milk. (If I remember correctly we actually gave her nursery water in a sippy starting around 9 mos and she'd drink that if she was thirsty).

Probably talk to your dr. to get some reassurance, learn signs of dehydration and check weight gain etc. I know it can be troubling, but I do think that babies will eat if hungry and if still nursing good am/pm you may be fine. Also once you start baby cereal/food it might cause less of a concern. My heart goes out to you though because no breaks since you're the primary food source.

 

[allyphoe]

She won't starve. My DD was never a fan of the bottle, and would go 13+ hours on 6-9 ounces of milk while I was at work. She didn't complain about being hungry, though, and she more than made up for it by nursing all night. I wasn't hugely successful pumping, though, and some days only got 6-9 ounces across 3 sessions and 13 hours, so it worked out relatively well for us.

 

[CLR4321]

I agree with the PP's with what they've mentioned. I wanted to ask though...what are you feeding the baby in the bottle? If it is formula, you may want to try a different kind.
I agree also to keep nursing even after you are back to work. It is amazing how the body adjusts to work schedules. I would drop my son off at daycare at 8:30am and pick him up at around 6pm. I wouldn't have issues with leaking at all during the day. Right at 6pm, like clockwork my milk would come in...and I'd better be sitting down to nurse him or would be likely to end up with a mess on my shirt! LOL! There is also the option to pump at work. Get a good electric pump that pumps both sides at the same time. If you are able to get ahold of one, the hospital grade pumps are awesome. Good luck!

 

[Maggie'sMom]

I went through this with DD. I introduced a bottle at 3 weeks (after nursing was well-established), and DD took it fine. We were offering a bottle just a couple times a week while I was still on maternity leave. Then just a week before I was due to go back to work, i.e. 11 weeks, DD decided to refuse the bottle. It took a few days of trying to get her to take it again. I let DD's dad (my now ex) offer it to her while I left the room. The first couple days we gave in really easy. After about 5 minutes of her refusing (and screaming her head off because she was hungry), I'd go ahead and nurse her. But with my impending return to work, we decided to force the issue. We picked a feeding and I left the house to run some errands so I wouldn't cave. DD's dad just kept offering the bottle until she took it. IIRC, he said it took about a 1/2 hour before she gave in and took the bottle. Throughout her first year, she never ate a lot from the bottle, even when I was working full-time and she was at daycare. I think she ate just enough to tide her over until I was there to nurse her and then she'd fill up.

So keep trying! Have someone other than yourself offer the bottle, and you should at least leave the room. If your DD knows you are right there, she'll keep refusing until she gets what she really wants: You!

ETA: I assumed you were offering expressed breast milk in the bottle. If you are offering formula, that could be an issue. Also, I remembered that someone told me the temperature could be an issue that would cause DD to refuse a bottle. The milk might be a little too warm or a little too cold. And lastly, try a couple different types of nipples on the bottles. You might find that she takes one type better than another.

 

[bumbershoot]

Some people that freak out about a baby going 8 hours without eating don't mind a baby getting 8 hours of sleep and not waking to eat.

That is possibly one of the most brilliant things, on this subject, I've ever read. Awesome! And true.


OP, be sure to try (or have others try) NOT using the actual bottle...perhaps spooning the expressed milk, or tipping a tiny amount of milk in a cup (put a tiny amount in the cup, so if it all spills out it's not hurting her or wasting too much milk). Maybe even a medicine syringe.

Although DS didn't have expressed milk that young, when he did, it was actually frozen. I never did heat up any milk for him; he just drank it cold, when he drank it. (he even put up with an apparent lipase issue...to me, the milk smelled awful, but he drank it up when we had a reason for him to not have it from the tap (so glad I didn't have to scald it))

 

[kacaju]

Also, I remembered that someone told me the temperature could be an issue that would cause DD to refuse a bottle. The milk might be a little too warm or a little too cold.

That was my dd. She is 13 years old now, but I do remember having to get that temp. *just right* or she would refuse a bottle.

 

[princess pooh]

Did you try changing bottles or nipples? I figured out that my son would refuse bottles because he didn't like the nipple anymore. I think I went through 3 different kinds before he started with a sippy cup.

 

[baybemama]

My son did the same thing. We had Avent bottles and he was okay with it at first and suddenly he flat out refused it. We switched to Dr. Brown's and he gobbled it down! I highly suggest trying a few different bottles. After talking to several other moms, making a switch often helps A LOT. Dr. Brown's bottles are excellent...I think the smaller nipple makes it easier.

 

[Manda]

My son was the same way. I sent bottles to day care in 2 ounces (or less) and they'd offer him frequently and he'd take the minimum amount he possibly could throughout the day. Then he'd nurse from the moment I got him until he went to sleep. And then often at night, too. It worked out okay, he certainly didn't have any issues gaining weight. At least at our day care, the teachers were used to this type of problem because it's pretty common.

I worried about it a lot though in the days leading up to work. I know it's stressful for Moms. {{hugs}}

 

[Macduffy]

I've heard of babies that would simply wait until Mommy home. My son did this when I went back to work (but he was 12 months old). She won't starve I promise. The first few days will be hard but she will take it I promise!
GL!!!!!!!

 

[Mommy2Abby]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I appreciate the reassurances that she won't starve

I have tried two different bottles already, the Playtex Nursers and the Avent, but maybe I will try the Dr. Brown's as well. I just don't want to spend a bunch more money on bottles that I'm not going to use.

I will also definitely try leaving the room when DH feeds her from the bottle. I haven't been right next to them when he feeds her, but I have usually been in the room, and I do tend to cave pretty easily when she cries...it's just easier to nurse her

For those who asked, I am putting expressed breast milk in the bottles, but maybe I should try formula??? Maybe the breast milk is too much of a signal that it should be coming from Mommy.

I fully intend to pump after going back to work to help keep my supply up, but I'm a little nervous because I didn't have great success with pumping after I had my first. It's been going ok this time around, but obviously I'm not in a situation where I have to do it constantly yet.

My worry is that if she goes all day without eating at the sitter's, she'll want to nurse all evening/night. With a 2 year old at home to take care of as well, and a DH that travels for business, that's not really practical.

Hopefully she will change her mind about the bottle in the next few weeks.

For those who had children who never took the bottle, how little is too little to start with a cup? Thanks!

Mommy2Abby

 

[Dismom55]

This is not really much help, I never breast fed my kids, so taking a bottle was all they knew, but my son was born in August, right away he started having breathing problems (I have many allergies and apparently so did he), because of all the congestion in his nasal passages and the drip down his throat he either could not suck to nurse or did not want to because of pain (doctor would do nothing, kept telling me he did not have allergies), anyway I finally decided since my son was losing weight to feed him with an eye dropper, taking ever so little each time and putting it in his mouth. He was newborn at the time so I propped him a bit more in a sitting position in my arms as I was concerned he might choke, it worked for us.

Just a note a few day later I took my son to another doctor and as soon as the PA walked into the exam room, she just blurted out your son has allergies and here is how we are going to treat him. A few days later he was back to the bottle. Now 17 yr old and healthy as a horse.

 

[deva]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I appreciate the reassurances that she won't starve

My worry is that if she goes all day without eating at the sitter's, she'll want to nurse all evening/night. With a 2 year old at home to take care of as well, and a DH that travels for business, that's not really practical.

Hopefully she will change her mind about the bottle in the next few weeks.

For those who had children who never took the bottle, how little is too little to start with a cup? Thanks!

Mommy2Abby

PP here. If you already have a baby that sleeps through the night, I think you'll be fine. My DD did not have any adjustments to her nighttime schedule and kept sleeping 12 or so hours straight at night. I really don't think you need to look at it as swapping a day feeding for a night feeding - if that was the case you'll end up exhausted! If you start feeding her in the middle of the night again, I'd be extremely cautious about falling into a "routine" feeding - one she doesn't need, but she is accustomed to to get back to sleep. She'll get enough milk from the times that she does nurse (you could probably get 3X per day - morning, early evening and right before bed) and once you start solids she'll be getting additional calories that way as well. Again, check with your ped. if you have concerns.

I introduced the cup as soon as my little one could sit up. Still struggling with the bottles, we tried the avent soft spouts which are a flexible sippy top. She still would not take breastmilk or formula, but would take water this way, so we just let her have it and then made the transition to a cup with milk and got her fully weaned around one year.

 

[chrisw127]

My heart really goes out to you. I had to use a syringe for a while with one of mine. Medela also makes a thing called a "finger feeder" which is essentially a tube you wrap around your finger (only works if the baby likes to suck on a finger, which most do). The finger feeder is really easy to use, although feeding can take a little longer than with a bottle. I know everyone says they "won't starve" but I'm sure the last thing you want when you go back to work is to think of your baby being hungry and this might give you some peace of mind. These are both good, short-term solutions.

Here's a link to give you an idea of what a finger feeder looks like: http://www.motheringfromtheheart.com/HazelBaker_Finger_Feeder.htm. You can get them from any lactation consultant or medical supply store that has breastfeeding products.

Good luck.