OT co-ed sleepover b'day party for 7 yos

[QueenGoblin]

Looking for some objective advice.

My DD is turning 7 at the end of January and would like to have a sleepover birthday party. There is only one snag...her closest school friend is a boy. She and her friends have not entered the "boys have kooties phase", so they often play as a group with this boy and they all get along very well and our families all know each other, etc. etc. I cannot imagine excluding him from the party, but at the same time, I know, at least when I was growing up, sleepover parties were single sex only.

My initial thought was to invite everyone to a dinner time party and then have the sleepover as an opt-in for the kids who are ready for it (one or two of her female friends are probably not ready for a sleepover anyway).

So, should I invite everyone and note that those who want to sleep over can, and just hope the boy's parents decide to pick him up after dinner? Or is there a better way around this? Or is it not a big deal because they are still so young?

 

[courtneylauren]

Just talk to the parents and tell them you would like him to come to the party but could they pick him up at whatever time you set as bedtime.

 

[RMAMom]

I think 7 is waayy to young for a sleepover. I would have a party and invite her class and let her enjoy the afternoon with her classmates and then they can all go home!
They grow up fast enough and sleepovers are one of those things that should
wait for another couple/few years. IMHO

 

[Merriwind]

My DD is 11 and her best buddy is the 11yo boy across the street. We have had sleepovers, not parties, just our two families. (He has an 11yo brother, so he's part of the package.)

Their mom and I talked about it a lot before we first did this. They were probably 8 or so and had been begging for a sleepover. We decided that since it's not a big deal to them, why should we make it one? The relationship is completely innocent, best friends. He comes here and plays Webkinz or watches a movie, they go there to play Wii or Xbox, outside, they ride bikes, throw footballs and shoot baskets. They haven't done a sleepover since last summer. They may be starting to "get" some of the societal boy-girl sleepover stuff and that's fine.

Sleepovers are always in the living room right outside the parents' bedroom. Since we live in FL, we have one level living, so that's easy. (It's the only room big enough for a 3 person sleepover anyway.)

Why don't you talk to his mom? She may want to pick him up anyway. He may not want to sleepover with a whole bunch of girls. Share your comfort level and see what she thinks.

I hope your DD has a wonderful birthday.

 

[dougsmom98]

I would not combine the party and the sleep over at all. I would have a birthday party one day and allow my daughter to have a sleep over with several select friends on another day. I personally don't think it is appropriate to have boys and girls sleeping over together at all. I get that it is innocent, but there is no way I would let my kids sleep over with boys and girls.

 

[KateMW]

I have no issue with a coed sleepover at that age. Just talk to the other parents BEFORE your daughter mentions it to the other children. That way there are no hurt feelings and no weirdness.

I think 6-7 is a perfect age to start sleepovers for most kids. Some aren't ready, some have been ready for ages! My daughter is going to sleep away camp this summer for a week! She's very independent though.

 

[KateMW]

I personally don't think it is appropriate to have boys and girls sleeping over together at all. I get that it is innocent, but there is no way I would let my kids sleep over with boys and girls.

Can I ask why? What are 7 year olds going to do?

 

[QueenGoblin]

I think 7 is waayy to young for a sleepover. I would have a party and invite her class and let her enjoy the afternoon with her classmates and then they can all go home!
They grow up fast enough and sleepovers are one of those things that should
wait for another couple/few years. IMHO

Yeah, I was kind of surprised she wanted one already but she and her friends have been asking for one for over a year I'm pretty sure they will all be out by 10pm.

I thought about inviting the class type thing, but she is not friends with many kids in her public school class yet. She went to a Kindergarten that was part of her preschool and most of her friends are still from that school (including the boy who just by luck ended up in the same class with her in public 1st grade). If I invited her whole public school class and her friends from the neighborhood/last year I would have 35 kids in my little house. I'd have to body surf to get to the fridge.

 

[kathie859]

My kids are now all grown BUT when they were little we had a bijillion kids in the neighborhood and often they would have a group sleepover (especially in summer in tents in the backyard). When the oldest of the group got to be around 9-10ish, we stopped the co-ed sleepovers.
Even though I think it's fine for your daughter and the neighbor boy to be friends and have a sleepover at this age, I think it's unwise to allow him to stay over with girls from school. As a parent of one of the girls, I may be a little miffed that this was allowed without my consent. SOOO...if you are really committed to doing the group sleepover with the boy, you have to call every parent and tell them the plan.

Good luck in planning a Happy BDay for your dd.

 

[JUJU814]

Personally, no way on earth I'd have any co-ed sleepover..ever..and if my child were invited to one, she wouldn't be sleeping over if it were co-ed.

I think 7 is a little young, but it really depends. My daughter, now 18, had a sleepover at our house when she was 7, but I didn't leave the kids at all...all night. I slept on the living room couch even.

 

[happymommy]

IMHO 7 years old for a slumber party is quite young. You are basically babysitting the children. You can have a party without the "sleeping" part. I would never want to be responsible for kids at that age overnight! I would never get any rest.

 

[Crazy4Disney72]

Personally I think 7 is too young for a sleepover, or at least my DD and most of her friends would not have been ready at that age. My DD will be 10 in March and she will be having a sleepover party, her first. As for boys, NO WAY! Different people have different values, but for our family, boys and girls that are not related do not spend the night together.

 

[AliceinHalloweentown]

I think 7 is waayy to young for a sleepover. I would have a party and invite her class and let her enjoy the afternoon with her classmates and then they can all go home!
They grow up fast enough and sleepovers are one of those things that should
wait for another couple/few years. IMHO

I was having sleepovers at 4 years old.

However, I've never had a co-ed sleepover.

I'd just have the parents pick him up around bedtime- that way he could still join in the fun.

 

[AliceinHalloweentown]

Wow! I'm surprised at all of the people saying sleepovers are too early at 7! From about 4/5 I was having sleepovers and by the time I was in elementary school it was about every weekend with my best friend.

 

[mousebymarriage]

I wouldn't worry about the co-ed thing at 7 years old however, many 7 year olds in general are not ready to spend the entire night away from mom & dad. In our house we did "movie nights" for a long time instead of sleepovers. "Movie nights" were great because the kids came in their P.J.'s, ate pizza, made ice cream sundaes, played games and watched a movie. Movie nights usually ended around 11pm-12am and the kids got the sleepover fun without having to spend the whole night away from their parents. Movie Nights were co-ed if that's what the kids wanted because really it was no different than the kids just having friends over to play. The other parents liked the "movie night" idea too.

 

[mumom95]

I would ask his parents to pick him up after the dinner/party part.

At that age there probably wouldn't be anything inappropriate happen but just in case, you don't want to have to deal with the other parents if something does.

A friend of mine's daughter went to a girl only slumber party in 2nd grade (the girl was turning 8). My friend's daughter came home the next day telling her mom she learned all about what sex is (and what she told her was very specific and correct). Apparently one of the girls had already had "the talk" with her mom and proceeded to tell all the other girls.

 

[KateMW]

I do see the point about the other girl's parents, so maybe have another kind of party all together?

 

[hmacmahony]

My kids have had sleepovers for years, and years, and my oldest is 8.
We also have had coed sleepovers, both of my oldest girls best friends, from birth happen to be boys. Personally, I am not worried about my 8 year old having a coed sleepover, I know my daughter, and her friend, both are very naive and immature. Not worried in the slightest about anything bad happening.

We have talked it over with all the parents, and will continue to let them have sleepovers until we decide they are too big. I will not punish my kids because their best friends are boys.

But, my girls also had big sleepovers for their birthdays,we did do girls only. Then we had a seperate sleepover with each of their friends that are boys.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Nobody really does sleepovers here so you wouldn't get anyone staying the night probably. However, regardless of my opinion of sleepovers, I think 7 is too young and there is no way I would let my child go to a co-ed sleepover. I know they are young and innocent etc. but I think it sets a precedent. Why is it okay at 7 and 8 but not at 9 and 10?
Have a fake sleepover. Let the kids all get picked up at 10 or so.

 

[VeroBeachGirl]

As for boys, NO WAY! Different people have different values, but for our family, boys and girls that are not related do not spend the night together.

Right on Mama! I agree with you 100%.