OT -- child afraid of storms -- HELP!!!!

[laurafaith]

hey everyone my 4 1/2 year old son is scared to death of storms. we live in a house with a million full grown trees in our yard. in may during a storm we had a huge tree uproot itself and fall -- it landed about 2 inches from our front door -- doing some (but little) damage to the roof and gutter. about 2 minutes after that my son started throwing up all over. now everytime it gets dark like it might storm or start storming he throws up -- usually just once or twice (empties stomach) -- i have no idea what to do???!??! we have tried to tell him different things -- or calm him down -- nothing works. we are thinking of sending him to a child pychologist?? any ideas. the only think that helps is if he is at my parents house he can go in the basement and i think he feels safe because he cant see it or hear it. (we don't have a basement) im just scared since i know it gets dark and rains off and on alot in florida -- i hate to see this ruin his trip -- and alot of his days here!! any ideas???

 

[Ladyw/theTramp]

When my DS was little, he was really afraid of thunderstorms... (not to the point of throwing up , though)

One afternoon when it started storming, I told him we were going to have a thunderstorm party. We got PJ's on... went into my master bedroom, sat on the bed, opened up the curtains so we could watch the lightning, and had different treats on the bed with us like a picnic! (I think the first time it was bananas and OJ and M&M's cause that's all we had!!!)

But we talked about the fact that you can tell if a stormis coming or going based on how long it is between the lightning and the thunder that follows... The shorter the time, the closer it is... and when is starts being longer in between, you know the storm is moving away..

We would watch for the lightning then start counting out loud together and when the thunder came I would laugh out loud and say how much fun that was!

He clearly thought I was nuts the first few times I laughed, but peer pressure took over and he started to laugh too... you know that half-hearted, "i'm trying to laugh, but I might cry" kinda laugh!!!!

When he started to see that the numbers were getting bigger, and the storm was going away, he started to relax.

It took several "thunderstorm parties" to quelch some of that fear, but for us, it did work....

The hardest part is finding bananas, OJ and M&M's everytime the sky gets dark!!!

Good Luck to you!

 

[mommagoofof4]

I think the previous poster had excellent advice. I would try that first. It does sound though, that your son has an extreme fear that may not be overcome by usual methods. If you try everything you can first and it does not help him then definetly ask his doctor for some help.
I feel for you, I, as a child, was also terribly afraid of storms. I would try to get into my parents bed and when they would not let me, I'd grab my pillow and blanket and sleep on the floor next to my mom. It's a terrible feeling.
Because of that I'm a sucker when my kids get scared. It's very hard for me to appear calm and not make a big deal out of them.
Good luck!

 

[TheDizMom]

Honey I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!!! I have 2 kids like that and they're nearly 11 and 6. My DS is the worst and I think he is what turned my DD into a stormaphobe because of how he reacts whenever there's a storm. We live in tornado and severe thunderstorm country and I was scared of those darn things myself until about high school. I would go sleep in my sister's room every time we had them, so I can't really fault them. We just figure they're going to be scared so depending on the time we either let them stay up until they're over, or one gets in bed with me and the other sleeps in the family room one the chaise with my husband on the couch. I figure it's not a nightly thing so we just work with it. I know eventually they'll outgrow it and until then I just remain as calm as I can so they'll see it's not as bad as it seems. On the few occasions when we've had to go to the basement for a tornado warning I try my best to make it seem like a game.

 

[pbharris4]

Same thing happened with us. We had a "microburst" come through our area and two trees hit the house..one of them broke 5 roof trusses and put a huge hole over the garage. A few more inches and it would have gone right through the 2 story family room.

Anyway, ever since then (it was in 2005) my 11 yo DD freaks out if there's a T storm..she checks the Doppler Radar on t he internet asks tons of questions even though we calmly answer them, she'll keep asking, she suddenly has to pee or go several times (nervous).

We've actually taken her to a therapist for it. After several sessions they didn't think she had much of a problem. Right, maybe the therapist should spend a night or two at our house when there are severe T storms! Anyway, she's always fine when we are in WDW. She'll even walk around w/ a rain poncho on and in the lightening, but not if it's real close. I think it's becoause she isn't at home where there incident occured. I suppose it's like Post Traumatic Stress.

What we have done is watch the weather and let our DD know ahead of time to "prepare her mentally." And we stay calm and say it will be ok and if it's get too bad we'll go in the basement. But since you don't have one,,,get your child invloved in a game to get his mind off of it. Also, remain calm yourself. For a while after the trees hit our house I was really nervous as well because we live in a heavily wooded area as well and every time there's a hurricane around texas or Florida a lot of times we get the heavy T-storms or sometimes small tornadoes, but that's not often. It's been pretty good since 2005 (knock on wood!) It's going to take some time for him to see that not every T-storm is going to drop a tree near your house. Also, if there are any big trees that are really close to your house, I'd suggest getting them cut down asap.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I love the thunderstorm party idea!

I also remember a Franklin book where he is scared of thunderstorms. - It has those sound buttons to push and everything. Maybe you could read it together when it's not storming?

 

[Mom2Evie]

The only thing that is going to help is time and reassurance from you. My DD5 was accidentally sent home from school as a walker and an afternoon squall popped up in May. We actually live out of zone, so she was lost in a neighborhood by the school during this. Add to this the evening news covering a local child getting struck by lightening during that very storm and you have a bad mix. Within a few days, she was scared of so many things, including the cloud getting dark like rain was coming. Before this, she'd been fearless.
It's gotten much better as time has past, but she isn't 100%. All we could do was talk to her reassuringly about that afternoon and tell her how great she handled it. We validated her feelings & fears as well. We told her that we understood why she was scared and that its okay to be scared. We reminded her that being brave means sometimes being scared but facing it & being strong. So, as storm after storm rolled through here during the Spring, with each one we'd remind her that everything was going to be just fine.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My son has always been afraid of thunderstorms but for a different reason -he has Asperger's symdrome and all loud noises bother him (fire drills at school can be hard too). Luckily, we get maybe one thunderstorm a year where we live (San Francisco Bay Area - not much extreme weather here at all!). But we do travel and he's always watching the news to get the weather reports (he's 12 now and this issue still bothers him).

When he thinks a storm is approaching, he gets severe anxiety and can't stop stressing out about it. He says he wants to leave wherever we are - go home or back to the hotel. We don't want to always give in because we want him to see that he can survive a thunder storm and be OK. He knows that he can come to mommy or daddy and that we will help him cover his ears if it gets too loud. At home, he gets under a blanket and puts his head in my lap until it's over. We had some thunder during a trip to Denver this summer and he was pretty good about it so I think he's growing out of it.

I guess my best advice is that kids' fears are very real to them. Do what you can to make the situation more comfortable. My son is 12 and able to understand what's going on. A 4 year old will have a harder time dealing with it. I bet your son will grow out of his fear as he gets older. Hang in there!

 

[yasmina]

For some reason, my dd9 has become terrified of thunderstorms. We've done everything to try to help - we watch the weather channel radar to see how bad/long it will be, we "snungle" together, dh & I LOVE thunderstorms and act like heathens (go outside and dance in them on occasion!), but still she shivers and shakes. Eventually, she will outgrow it.

Just hug and reassure hime that everything will be fine. I still remember when I was 4yo & scared of a thunderstorm my dad holding me and singing "Raindrops on Roses" from the Sound of Music. Since that day, I was never afraid of storms. I sang that to him the night he died while holding his hand, and told him that it was ok to go "home".

 

[BlueJeansGirl]

My DS 5 is terrified of storms too...he was fine until he was 3 and we rode out Hurricane Katrina here on the MS coast. Bad idea! Ever since, he is terrified of storms...the sky gets dark, and he is like a magnet to my backside. It was worse in the beginning, but we talked about how the rain is "singing to us". Now that he sees that everytime a thunderstorm rolls through, it doesn't mean that something bad is going to happen...he is getting better. I think staying calm, and turning into something positive is the key. Just in the last few weeks (with weeks of rain every afternoon) he talks about how he sleeps better when the rain "sings him to sleep". Baby steps, just baby steps.

 

[workinmomof2]

I am 40 years old and to this day a loud crack of thunder can send shivers through me. My family thinks it is because when I was a little girl a fireworks factory blew up near our house. The entire neighborhood went nuts because people actually thought we were being bombed. It is hard to believe now but knowing the state of the country at the time it is reasonable.


Anyway, back on topic. I think you should ask him how he is feeling and what you could do to make him feel better. Sometimes trying to reassure just makes things worse because he may feel that you are not understanding his fear. I have been there. It maybe something like having an emergency kit of his own ready that he can use like a flashlight if the power goes out, some of his favorite candy, sort of like his own survival kit that he can create. Also, if he fears that a tree could hit the house, create an exit strategy with him sort of like you do when you create a plan to exit in the house in case of a fire. Remember to let him help with the plans. He will feel better if he is allowed his own input.

Counting between the thunder and lightning does work.

Good luck. Remember he takes cues from you so make sure that you stay calm.