OT-bedroom help

[mumom95]

I can't believe this is even a discussion. The only two options that make any sense are putting the two youngest together or putting the baby in your room. You may not sleep well with the baby in your room, but you and your dh are the ones that decided to have a fourth child when there isn't enough room in the house, so you should be the ones sacraficing.

You honestly considered making your 13 year old son sleep on the couch so you wouldn't have to deal with a newborn baby keeping you awake?

 

[gonzo76]

Tell the steppies to save all that ice cream and pool money for an apartment of their own and then you will all have plenty of room!!!

I remember that thread. Op was so mad that her stepson spent HIS money on ice cream and not WDW. Money that he received from his mom. This thread is no different. I feel so sorry for those kids. OP, You really should be ashamed. I know I would be!!!!

 

[Ceila]

I remember that thread. Op was so mad that her stepson spent HIS money on ice cream and not WDW. Money that he received from his mom. This thread is no different. I feel so sorry for those kids. OP, You really should be ashamed. I know I would be!!!!

Wait - I'm confused. The OP just got back from a trip last week or so with just her DH and her 19-month-old. I remember reading a thread about it. Did the older children go or not? Why were they supposed to be saving up money for WDW? Or are they going on one of the trip in the OP's countdowns?

 

[la79al]

My sister took DD and I 2 weeks ago for my birthday. The kids did not go, nor did my husband because my mom and sister paid for everything. Me, my DH and the kids will be going in the spring. The kids think it is June but I cleared it with their mom to take them out of school so we are going in April.
ETA: when we got back last week and I told the kids about our trip, they were kind of glad they did not go along BUT they are also very glad that we had a 'practice trip' to make the next trip even better/easier.

 

[la79al]

And I have reached a decision on bedrooms. Everyone has to move around but everyone will continue to have a room. DD will be sharing with either DSD or the new baby. I'm going to wait a few months to decide which. And to the pp who asked about DD waking DSD up---nothing wakes DSD up. She has begged for DD to move into her room several times but we haven't really needed to consider taking her up on it. We still may not.

 

[seashoreCM]

I would suggest not mixing genders in a room.

The infant should be in the parents' bedroom for ease in nursing.

How about a different room arrangement every 6 months (or upon every visit by the stepkids if visits are several months apart)?

Family hints: http://www.cockam.com/family.htm

 

[BellesMom72]

My sister took DD and I 2 weeks ago for my birthday. The kids did not go, nor did my husband because my mom and sister paid for everything. Me, my DH and the kids will be going in the spring. The kids think it is June but I cleared it with their mom to take them out of school so we are going in April.
ETA: when we got back last week and I told the kids about our trip, they were kind of glad they did not go along BUT they are also very glad that we had a 'practice trip' to make the next trip even better/easier.

I'm glad all the kids will get to go on the next trip and that you changed your mind since back on this post (http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=21916372&postcount=7) you said you'd never consider taking your 'steppies' back to disney and didn't care if they felt left out.

 

[Ceila]

I remember that thread. Op was so mad that her stepson spent HIS money on ice cream and not WDW. Money that he received from his mom. This thread is no different. I feel so sorry for those kids. OP, You really should be ashamed. I know I would be!!!!

Wow, I found that thread. So sad for those kids.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2199724&page=11

We were supposed to go to DW sometime next spring/summer. Tonight DH officially called the trip off. It's really been building up but I'm still not happy about it. See, DSS has a few hundred dollars at his moms house that he won. He said he is saving it all for vacation with her this summer but he has already spent some of it. We told him he should bring some of it here to put in his bank for DW. He said he wouldn't be allowed. So tonight he tells me that he got in big trouble for trying to bring 75 cents to our house to put towards DW. I know he is blowing it out of proportion but I sort of say whatever and walk away. I am literally 5 steps away and he asks me if he can get his curfew extended if he goes to the late swims at the pool. I ask him where he is getting money for the late swims. He tells me he will just bring money from his moms house. I don't even answer him, I just walk away. And then on my way into the house, I am met by DSD who is on her way to the ice cream stand. I ask her where she got money for ice cream because just last weekend she blew through $5 she brought from her moms house and then asked us for money to go to the pool. She tells me that she got it out of her bank, meaning her DW money. We have ice cream in the freezer, the exact kind she is headed out to get but she doesn't even bother checking for that. I tell her that I hope she enjoys her ice cream more than she would enjoy DW because she's not going to be able to have both. She continues to the ice cream stand. I walk into the house and tell DH I am tired of this whole money thing. He asks what is going on and I tell him and he calls the kids into the house and tells them the trip is off. He tells them if they have more important things to do with their money then he has more important things to do with his money too. We have about half the money set aside already so who knows what's going to happen with that. I'm just sick of trying to police the kids and their money all the time. They don't get an allowance here and we were going to start since they will be here a lot this summer but now I'm totally against it. I will not have money to do a whole lot this summer and I know if the kids end up bringing money from their moms house, they will spend it at the ice cream stand or on other stupid stuff and I don't even care. I have found some free/really cheap stuff to do this summer and other than that, they will be playing outside. I'm pretty bummed about the trip being off though. DD and I are going in December with my sister and DH is not a DW lover anyhow but I was looking forward to the girls going on rides together and DSD introducing DD to all the characters. Maybe the kids will make some great turnaround by the end of the summer and DH will change his mind.

 

[BellesMom72]

Your mom paid for your DD and you to go?


On thebump you said you were paying to go on the trip, not that your mom or sister was paying for it. Remember you asked if you should use the money for a trip to Disney or for christmas presents?

If your mom was paying for the trip, you could have used the money you planned to pay for yourself to take your other two children!

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/17182509.aspx?MsdVisit=1

 

[mumom95]

I'm glad all the kids will get to go on the next trip and that you changed your mind since back on this post (http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=21916372&postcount=7) you said you'd never consider taking your 'steppies' back to disney and didn't care if they felt left out.

That's really sad

Would you mind if they started calling you "steppie".

 

[gonzo76]

My sister took DD and I 2 weeks ago for my birthday. The kids did not go, nor did my husband because my mom and sister paid for everything. Me, my DH and the kids will be going in the spring. The kids think it is June but I cleared it with their mom to take them out of school so we are going in April.
ETA: when we got back last week and I told the kids about our trip, they were kind of glad they did not go along BUT they are also very glad that we had a 'practice trip' to make the next trip even better/easier.

I don't care if I get points or not. Someone needs to speak up for the children. You are so blatant about how you feel about your step children. It is sickening. I call crap on they were glad you took a "practice" vacation. I truly hope for the sake of those children you will see what you are doing. Sadly, I think you really don't care.

 

[iheartnmr's]

I remember the ice cream/swimming thread and felt so bad for those kids.

Just remember, since you were thinking that you'd stay here when your husband moves, you marriage must not be on solid ground. I would be pretty careful karma doesn't come back to bite you in the butt. How you are treating his kids now may be how the new wife some day treats yours. Think past the end of your nose and start treating these children with some respect.

You marry a man with kids, you marry the complete package.

You are the epitome of the wicked stepmother stereotype.

 

[Magic Mom]

Oh no, not you. Definitely the OP.

I was shocked when I read that quote I posted. How can she be resentful of her own husband's children? They are innocent in the whole deal. They didn't ask for the divorce, they didn't ask for their dad to marry the OP, and they didn't ask for more siblings. And yet she acts like they are the cause of all of this. How can she resent those kids feeling at home in a place they spend 50% of their time??? Everything she posts about them just reeks with hatred.

But the biggest blame goes to the dad for tuning a blind eye to this. There is no way I (nor my DH) would ever let anyone treat our kids like second class citizens. New spouse or not.

 

[crashbb]

How about a different room arrangement every 6 months (or upon every visit by the stepkids if visits are several months apart)?

I think that this is actually a pretty horrible idea. Changing rooming arrangements every visit (or every 6 months) gives the kids no stability. They cannot get the feeling that they have their own space, when they have to uproot and move all their belongings so often.

 

[soonerfan2008]

For the bedrooms, I'd put your in the smallest bedroom alone (not sharing and past the age where he likely sprawls on the floor to play with toys). I'd put the middle girls together in the largest bedroom. On nights your toddler does not wake up, there is no issue, and if she does wake up her big sister- then that just comes with the territory of having a sibling, even on a school night. (Just like everyone is reminding the original poster that she has 4 kids to consider, well, the kids have siblings too, and sometimes they are a nuisance.) Put the baby in a room alone if sleeping in your room will not work. Then the boy is alone, the girls can share (and will probably love it some days and hate it others), and the baby is alone. It also means the 50% of the time the older kids are not there, you do not have to worry about them waking each other up.

 

[gonzo76]

I was shocked when I read that quote I posted. How can she be resentful of her own husband's children? They are innocent in the whole deal. They didn't ask for the divorce, they didn't ask for their dad to marry the OP, and they didn't ask for more siblings. And yet she acts like they are the cause of all of this. How can she resent those kids feeling at home in a place they spend 50% of their time??? Everything she posts about them just reeks with hatred.

But the biggest blame goes to the dad for tuning a blind eye to this. There is no way I (nor my DH) would ever let anyone treat our kids like second class citizens. New spouse or not.

I totally agree. It is outrageous. I'm wondering if this is the reason the father was thinking of moving out?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I only brought up the couch because when we have discussed hypothetical future children, DSS has begged to be able to sleep on the couch. He's going to have to move out of his room but if we can't set up an acceptable bedroom somewhere else in the house, it will just be to the tiniest bedroom. Unless we can come up with a way to turn one of the bigger rooms into 2 rooms. I am considering doing a few trial runs of DD sleeping in DSDs room. I know the toddler and baby sharing a room makes the most sense but with DD waking up every few hours and a newborn, I have a feeling I would be in the nursery at least once an hour. The baby in our room will not work. I really tried that several times with DD and nobody slept at all. Any ideas on an easy way to make one room into 2?

I am not in the practice of telling anyone how many children they should have as it is none of my business but you don't have room now and you want your StepSon to sleep on a couch. What if you have more kids? Do they get moved to the garage?

 

[mjkacmom]

My twins slept in the same room for 6 years, and learned to sleep through each others cries. It took a little ferberizing, but the only reason I kept them together so long is because they learned to sleep when the other was up, and I didn't want to risk lack of sleep putting dd6 together with dd8 too soon. Even at 6, I was nervous that ds6 wouldn't sleep well alone.

 

[soonerfan2008]

For the bedrooms, I'd put your in the smallest bedroom alone (not sharing and past the age where he likely sprawls on the floor to play with toys). I'd put the middle girls together in the largest bedroom. On nights your toddler does not wake up, there is no issue, and if she does wake up her big sister- then that just comes with the territory of having a sibling, even on a school night. (Just like everyone is reminding the original poster that she has 4 kids to consider, well, the kids have siblings too, and sometimes they are a nuisance.) Put the baby in a room alone if sleeping in your room will not work. Then the boy is alone, the girls can share (and will probably love it some days and hate it others), and the baby is alone. It also means the 50% of the time the older kids are not there, you do not have to worry about them waking each other up.

 

[tinker&belle]

As far as the sleeping arrangements go, don't assume that because your oldest had difficulty sleeping and kept you up the new baby will too. Our older DD didn't sleep through the night for the first year and it is still touchy. Our youngest has slept through the night from almost the beginning, so much so we had to wake her up for the first two months to eat.

If it were me I would go with the baby in my room (at least try it out) in a co-sleeper or bassinett. I can understand not wanting to wake the toddler up, so keep the baby in your room until baby is sleeping mostly through the night. Then move the baby in with DD.

I dated someone whose Dad had a 'new' family and he had the basement and not many personal things. He resented it. Big time. I shared a room with my brother (I'm female) until six and was sad when we moved and I had my own room. Babies and young children don't understand/care about gender. The older ones need to feel at home and understand family dynamics.