OT - Anyone with twins/triplets who share the same class in school

[tripletots]

I was just wondering if anyone has multiples who share the same teacher in school. I have 9 yo triplets, gbg, and the teacher suggested putting my girls together for 4th grade because she says they seem more confident together. The principal won't hear of it because they need to be their own individual. What about academics? Has anyone ever had to fight to keep their multiples together? Anyone win?

 

[Camping Griswalds]

I was just wondering if anyone has multiples who share the same teacher in school. I have 9 yo triplets, gbg, and the teacher suggested putting my girls together for 4th grade because she says they seem more confident together. The principal won't hear of it because they need to be their own individual. What about academics? Has anyone ever had to fight to keep their multiples together? Anyone win?

I have a very close friend whom had twin girls. Her older son attends private school with my kids. The academic curriculum is very demanding. She knew one of her girls could handle it, but that the other one would always struggle. She put them both in public school together. She did not want to seperate them, and both schools seemed to agree with this. Her girls are in the same classroom, and both are doing well. The one does get some "special help" at times, but they general concensus is that they both do better when they are together. Plus it helps my friend when it's time to study for tests, projects etc. The girls are doing the exact same thing, so it makes her life easier.

 

[Tinks Girls]

I have twin girls 5.5 yrars old. They are just going into K this next school year becasue of their late b-day (Oct). Our school lets the parents choose. We are keeping them together. WE may try seperate classrooms for later grades. I truly believe that people that are not a twin or have no experience with twins do not understand the bond that these children have. Seperating them can cause a lot of undue stress.

I am glad that our school lets us choose but if they were going to say no. I was ready for a fight. My twins are not identical, so the teacher can tell them apart.

 

[triplefigs]

Here in GA we just passed a law which give parents of multiples the right to decide whether or not to have their children together or separated in public school. It was a HUGE battle against the State BOE and Administrators. Some administrators have a blanket policy of all multiples are separated, and at other schools parents wishes were granted. We have our BBG separated (our choice), but I am so happy that here in GA parents can now make that choice for their children, and not have a "blanket" policy applied to all.

http://www.twinslaw.com/Georgia.html

 

[Order66]

My twin boys have been in the same class for 3 years, preschool thru 1st grade. For pre-school there was no choice anyway as there was only 1 full-time and 1 part-time class. When they registered for 1st grade my husband had orders for Iraq deployment and I requested they stay together another year as splitting them up and missing their father for 18 months would be a tough strain on them. Our problem was with kindergarten. I did fight for what I thought was best for my kids.

The pre-school teachers recommended spliting them for kindergarten so we went with it. At that age (4) we had one child who was pretty independent without his twin and one who always wanted his brother around yet is rather bossy and always nosy about what his brother is doing. Actually at age 7 we have the same thing. LOL We thought it would be good to split them up thinking the one would do better without his brother constantly on him and that eventually the other would get over it. In fact we had the complete opposite reaction.

Bossy nosy brother loved his teacher and fell right in with his own class not even wondering what or where his brother was. Independent brother started out totally missing his brother. They had different lessons, different homework each day. To add to it he did not like his teacher at all and felt she didn't like him. To make it a trifecta, he is also ADHD with major complusion control problems and was labled "bad" right off the bat by this teacher, hence always yelled at, in time out, even had a boy at his table realize he could blame my son for stuff and get away with it while mine got punished. 2 years later he still dislikes this boy from the beginning of kindergarten. LOL. We let it go about 3 weeks into school and then we had an incident....... I requested a meeting about moving him out of the class and got the song and dance about how they'd have to discuss it with the teacher and how it's not a good idea...basically got blown off without being allowed to talk about what happened. I held them out of school the next day and demanded a meeting. There I requested he be moved to the other class with his brother (there are only 2 classes per grade) or I'd put them both in a new school. We have our boys in Catholic school so there are 10 options within a 10 minute drive of us. I even toured one of the schools that morning with the boys. After I finally had a chance to talk about the "incident" the principal, who began out quite nasty with me talking about how difficult it was to move them, checking with everyone but the pope, etc... suddenly bent over backwards if I wanted him moved today or would we just like to take the rest of the day off and start over in the new room tomorrow.

Now they are going into 2nd grade and I haven't made a request either way. We decided to just take whatever room assignments they get. If they are together fine, if not then they are comfortable with school and friends and ready for time apart. I'd say it depends on the twins. Some twins need to find their independence away from each other and others can be their own person with their twin right there. My boys are the latter. Even in the same class they don't interact any more than any other two kids. They have their own friends, though being they are very similar boys in personality they like the same things and have some of the same friends. They are also frat twins so people don't confuse them for each other. Their friends don't even realize they are twins. (While they still don't quite get you can have a brother that ISN'T your twin LOL) I think that helps as well in that people are not seeing them as 1/2 of a set. Our school started compartmentalizing subjects so both classes get both grade teachers. One does the language classes, reading, spelling, english, etc.. the other does the math, science, health classes. So even split into different rooms they'd have the same subjects and same homework on the same days. That makes my life easier.

What I have recommended to other multiple parents I know is request what you think is right for your kids but ALWAYS state you reserve the right to change your mind should you feel that way isn't working and you want them back together/split up. I think the kids let you know when they need some space from a sibling....even a twin/triplet one.

 

[LUV2BNWDW]

I have 10 yr old twin girls. They have always been in the same class. I take each year as it comes. I always ask the teacher if it seems to be a problem in class, and it never has been. They each have their own set of friends, and don't seem to hang out together at all. Luckily my principal leaves it up to the parent as long as there aren't any problems that their teacher has mentioned.

 

[jenlynn0808]

Just thought I'd share another point of view. A few years ago I had a set of triplets (all boys) in my 4th grade classroom. They had always been together, the parents liked the idea that they would all have each other and it made homework easier because they were all doing the same thing.

Two of the boys were fine academically, but I noticed that one of them was really struggling in school. I also discovered that he was starting to have self esteem issues because he 'wasn't as smart as his brothers' (his words not mine). We had several staff meetings w/ Mom & Dad and he did end up qualifing for special assistance because he had a learnign disability.

At the last meeting, I brought up the idea of seperating him from the other boys (who would be together because we only had 2 5th grades). Mom & Dad were concerned and voiced their opinions. When I explained that the reason I wanted to seperate them was because of self esteem reasons and that this triplet was always compairing how 'bad' he was compared to the other two and thought by seperating them, he would have different experiences and wouldn't have as much to compare. I also told the parents I understood how the same assignments made it easier for them to help the boys at home, and since the 5th grade teachers switch for SS and Science they would have some fo the same assignments, but the most important thing to me was that 'triplet I'm concerned about' get the best education he can and that it is going to require sacrifces on everyone's part.

They were seperated for 5th and it did wonders for all of the boys. I know sometimes it seems random, but some of us do have very valid reasons for seperating ANY, not just siblings, students. If you want to know why we did something, ask. I've had parents ask why I put this kid here and that kid there. I've always explained and never felt like I was being second guessed. None have ever been switched and I've even had a few parents come back at the end of the year and say thanks becasue their child had a great year.

I hope another story helps!

 

[MickeyRN]

I have 11 year old twin girls They were in the same class k-3rd and in different classes 4th and 5th and will be again next year . Each year I ask the girls what they would like to do and let them make the decision to be together or not. My girls are fraternal and both have very different personaltities. Even though they are in different classes they still seem to have some of the same friends. I have been lucky in that our school system has allowed us to make the decision as to wether or no they are in the same class or not.

 

[CampbellScot]

Here in GA we just passed a law which give parents of multiples the right to decide whether or not to have their children together or separated in public school. It was a HUGE battle against the State BOE and Administrators. Some administrators have a blanket policy of all multiples are separated, and at other schools parents wishes were granted. We have our BBG separated (our choice), but I am so happy that here in GA parents can now make that choice for their children, and not have a "blanket" policy applied to all.

http://www.twinslaw.com/Georgia.html

Yes, I was wondering about this too. I don't think it should be up to schools really. Twins are not always "just like other siblings". There are scads of studies done on twins and education and the majority of them say that when twins are split up they tend to worry about the other one during the day. It can effect their socialization and their school work. Of course this isn't always the case, but parents should have the right to say if their kids are split up or not.

My little twin cousins had a VERY hard time when they first started school. The principal of their school insisted they split up after "seeing them together" and decided they were "too close"...My Auntie Kathleen was really upest but didn't want to cause a fuss.(She STILL kicks herself over this)The girls did not do well. After two months both teachers noticed that girls were very withdrawn in class. And the most heartbreaking thing of all was when they would see each other when it was time to go home. They would run to eachother, throw their little arms around one another and just cry. They had NEVER been like that, ever. When my aunt asked them why they would cry when they saw each other they said in unison "I miss my sister". My aunt was able to stand it for two months. Then she put them into a private school where they could be together. The crying stopped, the personalities came out, they participated in class and really emerged as leaders. For my cousins, their relationship made them more confident. They were given the option each year of "together or apart". They always chose together. Even though they had seperate interests and friends, they felt better together. They just graduated from Texas A&M in May. They start Medical school in the fall!!!

 

[shefor24]

I have twin girls, age 15. They were together in K- I insisted, they do have a special bond and I was afraid they'd miss each other during the day. 1st grade- separate, 2nd grade together, 3&4th- separate, 5th separate. They chose what they wanted to do. This worked out fine for us. I believe K and 1st they should be together. After K you'll know if they should be separate or not IMHO. Enjoy- they sure grow up fast! The girls are in Drivers Ed!

 

[MinnieGi]

I am a former teacher, now SAHM. In the school I taught in the parents could decide if they wanted to split or not. I really think it is up to the parents. I taught triplets and twins together and by themselves. The parents had their reasons for wanting togetherness or apart. In my case it always seemed like the ideal decision for the families. I hope your school district sees it that way too.

 

[The Disney Bunch]

My girls are six. They have been together throughout pre-k & kindergarten because there is only the one class. They will be separated for 1st grade. I am glad. I had the girls separated for speech therapy & it made a big difference. One tended to dominate the other & take care of her. When the one wasn't there, the other one felt free to talk to other kids & had to do things for herself. I want them to be seen as individuals rather than a set.

But this is my experience. I think each case needs to be looked at individually. Have you asked the girls what they think?

 

[goofymomof3]

Wow so many thoughts on this. My girls are so different. One is dependent on the other. She would never admit it...heheh They have always been seperated but on the same team of teachers so that school work was easier for us. Last year they were going to a new building ( middle school) I was not excited at all.....so I put them together. Teachers said you couldn't even tell they were sisters..... didn't sit together or anything. I felt better. Now I am deciding what to do this next year. One twin wants to be in different classes because she says we are together 24/7. The other says it doesn't bother her.....hehehe I am seperating them because I don't want the more dependent one to become too dependent on her sister. Dependant?? Dependent...... hhmm from a teacher......something doesn't look right..... oh well not checking it sorry if it is misspelled.....
I think as their mother, the school has no choice but to honor your request. If you feel strongly enough about them being together, insist...... go however high you have to go....... but know that sometimes as mothers we intend the best.....but don't always get what we wanted. If you are a praying mother, do that hehehe it always helps me. Do your girls compete?? THAt is another big thing...... one of my girls is not really smarter than the other but she catches on faster.... however this year with them together, the slower catcher beat the other one a few times....... was great for her self esteem...... Best of luch...let us know what you do............

 

[Blondiex46]

nope it is district policy that they are not together. The twinsclub or twinsworld is trying to change that. Honestly one has an IEP and in it I have it that anytime whenever possible desired by him that he connects with his twin. The twin thing you can't deny and sometimes they depend on each other. Doesn't mean they are individuals but you know they are twins first. My kids hate being twins but I will tell you when they aren't together they really miss each other. In preschool they were together and then they saw that one depended on one too much so they separated them and of course there were problems. Who knows what the right decision is but to have someone with you inutro for 9 months in close quarters get out and spend years together and then be forced to be separated because of whatever the reason has to be hard.

 

[KariC]

http://multiples.about.com/od/twinsinschool/a/twinsschoollaw.htm

This is a brief article about some of the legislation issues....I think there is info on the National Org. of Mothers of Twins website, but you have to be a member to access (and I can't remember the login and password right now anyway).

We've decided, at this point, that there is no reason to separate our twins. We'll address it if it ever becomes an issue, though. But for now, the school my kids attend is very supportive of them being together. In fact, the head of schools says their "twinship" is interesting to watch. I have a friend that actually scheduled 3 conferences (one for each twin, one for the "twinship"....seemed odd to me!).