OT- Angry at new Gym Help!

[brymolmom]

OK - I'm not understanding this being against family friendly....I'm thinking that the gym's policy is an attempt to BE family friendly (obviously different families might have different opinions). Just think of this....you are just changing after swimming in the women's locker room with your daughter and there is a family of children changing with a 3 and 5 year old boy.....now if your daughter has brothers or a daddy that goes around the house naked, it might not be a big deal - but if this is your 5 year old's first time seeing the male anatomy- it might not be the ideal situation where you intended to explain the differences to your daughter.

Now, that being said - 10 mos is a little ridiculous. My YMCA has a policy that any child OVER 1 year old of the opposite gender is not allowed in the adult locker room - they have to use the family locker room if it is a mom/dad with the opposite gender child. And they enforce it - the women will tell mom's walking in with walking children (never seen anyone complain about a 10 mos old tho) - to use the family locker room. I have found this policy very nice - not feeling awkward about being naked in the women's locker room where I think I might be if a 5 year old little boy was staring at me the whole time. Think of it the other way too - naked men walking around the men's locker room....you might not want your 5 year old little girl in there.

Anyway - I really like my 1 year old policy and I find it much more family friendly than it would be otherwise since I feel more comfortable allowing my dd4 to change and shower in the women's room with me without having her preschool classmates looking at her. And with dh isn't with me and I have ds5 there too - we just use the family locker room.

Sounds to me like your complaint should really be the fact that the family locker room seems to pale in comparison to the other ones - that seems to be the real problem IMO.

 

[soontobewed07]

Well it not being up to par is part of it. I pay 60/month to be a member why should I have to change in a bathroom. That is not the only reason. I am more upset that because my husband is not with me I am banned from the locker room. Also I change in the changing stall and would take my son in there. The 1pm rule IS because the teenager etc are getting out of school and swim team starts. I am going to change gyms. I will take my 60/month elsewhere

 

[G8609]

but its the mens room and I say nothing I have not seen before. It is all about protecting your kid.

I would says something about the baby though it is silly to not allow him in the ladies room.[/QUOTE]

So in essence your saying SAVE womens PRIVACY and SCREW OLDER MENS PRIVACY... WHO CARES IF YOU HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE WOULD You ACCEPT A MAN RUNNING IN YOUR SHOWERS AFTER HIS DAUGHTER if it took more then 15 seconds.... THATS SO UNREALISTIC , ITS ALMOST SET UP SO YOU CAN DO SOME " MOTHERLY" PEEPING.

Men lose there privacy as they get older... and its just NO BIG DEAL... highschool, College, and Profesional sports players, Have to deal with the media that is in tehre locker room everyday with cameras and phones and they are forced into the situation of being naked infront a room full of clothed women and men. Then you have in College 18-22 yo newspaper interns.. going into there college male counterparts locker room and showers to Interview kids in ther own class, If your gonna sit here and look for special treatment, while taken away Mens your a hypocrite in every sense of the word. You made the decision at 5 you didnt want to trust your son to see nude women, so you decided it be better for a adult woman to invade 16-90 yo mens naked bodys... REALLY GOOD FOR YOU!! Im glad being a mother and a women entitles you to that.
Everybody makes choices, and nobody should be entitled to special treatment because of those choices.
Equal results based on unequal treatment amounts to no kind of equality at all sorry but im ALL for privacy ... But more for Equality

 

[G8609]

Get a babysitter while your at the gym , PROBLEM SOLVED.

 

[scrapquitler]

Yeah...you don't want that baby looking at the other ladies ****ies

I think that is just silly. I would be complaining to the gym and telling them that I would be HAPPY to use the Family dressing room, IF it had the same amenities as the ladies locker room....silly that they don't have hair dryers, carpeting, benches, etc. And I would also be complaining that this policy wasn't explained to me prior to my paying for my membership.

I woudl seriously be considering asking for a refund of ALL fees that I had paid since I am not able to partake of the amenities promised.

 

[mommyof2princesses]

I would be contacting the YMCa corporate. 10 months old? Really? I just don't understand. And are teenagers worried that a 10 month old boy might look at them? I have a teenage daughter and I know she would't be bothered. A 5 year old maybe, but not a 10 month old.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

That makes no sense. They should not make you use a "family" bathroom to change your 10 mo.

 

[design_mom]

The gym we belonged to during the summer (for the pool) had a similar policy. NO opposite-gender children were allowed in the locker rooms, regardless of age.

They had a family locker room, too, but like you said -- it was much smaller than the women's locker room, it was all tile (floors often wet from showers, or dripping bathing suits, etc.). It was a glorified bathroom. I do think, overall, the gym was family friendly -- great kids area, lots of kids programs, always felt welcome bringing the kids in, etc. But the family locker room was lacking.

I agree that the policy seems a little silly for a 10 month old, but if that's the policy, that's the policy. My son is too old to be changing in the women's room, so we did use the family locker rooms... but I did complain about the condition of it, and the manager increased the cleaning schedule. It still wasn't as nice as the women's locker room, but...it was better.

 

[Colleen27]

As others have said, I'd be contacting the YMCA director and if necessary going over his head as well. The two Ys that I've belonged to over the years both set the bar at 5 - children 4 and under can use the locker room with their opposite-sex parent, 5 and up have to use the gender-appropriate locker room or the family restroom which has far fewer amenities (basically just a bathroom with a single shower stall, no lockers, no suit wringer, no blow dryers, etc). From what I've seen in shopping around, setting the cutoff at 4 or 5 seems to be the norm for gyms with those type of smaller, added-on family restrooms. I do know of a few newly built gyms that have an absolute rule of no wrong-gender children in the gender-specific locker rooms, but they were built with that in mind and the family locker rooms are just as nice as the men's and women's.

For what the Y charges for their membership, I'd absolutely expect either a more reasonable rule regarding using the women's lockers with my child or a more useable family locker/changing room. Otherwise, I'd take my money elsewhere.

 

[brymolmom]

My Y's policy is no opposite gender kids over age 1 in the locker room. And it is strictly enforced. I would oppose this policy only if we did not have an actual family locker room. We do have one, it isn't as 'nice' as the Women's (no hair dryers, etc), but I do follow the rules since they do offer an alternative that is at least adequate. I don't think I'd consider a wet bathroom adequate. So I would argue your case.

That said, if you think about it from the management's perspective - you are in a lose/lose situation. There is NO WAY they are going to come up with a policy that makes everyone happy. No way to do it - period. So I do feel bad for them having to try and still ending up with unhappy people all around. I mean, when my dd and I are changing for the pool - I would NOT want a 3 year old boy standing there looking at our bodies. I, personally, wouldn't care - it wouldn't bother me (although I would hope he would make any nasty comments ). But I think it would make my 6 year old dd uncomfortable and rightly so at that age and for several years to come for her.

If I was in your shoes OP, I would maybe 'lobby' for some improvements to the 'family locker room/restroom'. Insist they put some benches in there...Keep the floor cleaner and/or put some wet/dry carpet in there, put hair dryers or hand dryers up high for hair drying. Also in our family locker room there is a pack n play in there so that parents have a spot to stick their really young ones while they have their hands full. I would make an appt with the 'board' and make a list of things that should be done. And use the argument that you pay just as much as those who are able to use the 'better' locker rooms so these SMALL improvements are the least they can do.

 

[U2_rocks!]

I don't see an issue with them wanting you to use a family locker room (though for a 10 mo old it's a bit ridiculous), but then they need to equip it properly! It sounds like the locker room is sub-standard for families, and that isn't right.

 

[klacey1]

Well it not being up to par is part of it. I pay 60/month to be a member why should I have to change in a bathroom. That is not the only reason. I am more upset that because my husband is not with me I am banned from the locker room. Also I change in the changing stall and would take my son in there. The 1pm rule IS because the teenager etc are getting out of school and swim team starts. I am going to change gyms. I will take my 60/month elsewhere

I completely agree with you, OP. Why advertise as "family friendly" if they don't offer family friendly amenities? I'd ONLY be okay with being told to leave the ladies' room IF the family room was equal. Even so, knowing me, I'd be miffed that people got their panties in a bunch over a 10 month old!

Get a babysitter while your at the gym , PROBLEM SOLVED.

I see you're new to the boards. Please don't be so rude. The reason OP wanted to join a family gym (I'm assuming) is so she could have a place to bring her son...which she has every right! If I was paying $60 a month for a family gym, why on EARTH would I pay a baby-sitter, too?? The headline "man up" was incredibly condescending.

 

[simba20]

My YMCA has huge signs on both the women and men's locker room doors that say "NO CHILDREN." When she was 8/9 month we did a Waterbabies class, but I used the family locker room and ddin't take chances and having anyone complain (I wasn't a member then so I paid the non-member fee). Luckily, my Y has nice family locker rooms, in which there are 7 seperate bathrooms in the family locker room that have locking doors and sinks/showers/toilets.

Now that my daughter is 2.5 I've had time to think about it. We are now doing Tumbletots, but I still use the Family lockerroom. My daughter is at the age where she's likely to scream out "That lady has big ****ies mommy" So I definetly do not want complaints.

 

[kohlby]

The Y in the city next to me doesn't allow kids in the locker room at all. I can't remember if it's 14 or 16. Even a 3 month old girl isn't allowed in the women's locker room! They do have family changing rooms but they fill up fast and the floors are always wet. It was riduculous to me that my 3 year old and 6 month old couldn't use the regular locker room with me. So, I avoid that Y as much as I can. I don't like their policy. But they're allowed to set any policy they want. You can't get more "family friendly" than the Y in general so I was very surprised when my 3 year old took swim lessons there.

My local Y doesn't have a policy like that. (But it also doesn't have a pool and is much smaller). I won't take my oldest son into the locker room simply because I don't think it's appropriate and there's no need to. (He's 6). But my 10 month son and 3 year old daughter have been in there many times with me.

 

[indimom]

While I would be irritated also; I blame society, not your gym. We force places like the gym to make these types of rules to protect their facility from a potential lawsuit. There isn't much they can do about it - either have the rules and enforce them or risk being sued when an incident occurs.

 

[Colleen27]

Get a babysitter while your at the gym , PROBLEM SOLVED.

Um, the OP's child was swimming too, which at that age at a YMCA means a "mommy & me" type of class. She'd look pretty odd if she started getting a sitter to attend that one!

 

[KandD]

I agree with others that not allowing a ten month old boy into the women's locker room is an absurd rule BUT I think the real issue is the condition of the family locker room.
You pay good money to attend the gym, if they want you to follow their rules which you agree to by being a member, then they need to keep up their end of the bargain too. Gross locker rooms are NOT acceptable.

 

[Mkrop]

This thread is from 2008!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Get a babysitter while your at the gym , PROBLEM SOLVED.

Ummmm.... You have 2 posts and both are in this thread. You joined in order to dredge up a thread from 2008?