OT: 37 and pregnant again with #5

[jodifla]

You bring up great points from experience, Rylee. Knowledge is POWER. You were able to be prepared and provide the best possible outcome for your child.

I had my son at 40, and had the amnio. The genetic risks are pretty high at 40, and I wanted to be prepared.

 

[Disney Spaz]

I would say do the testing. I had two healthy boys in 89' and 91'. Then 15 years later I got preggie with DD. After multiple blood testing we found out I have multiple medical conditions and they suggested that there could be problems. We had the fluid behind the neck test and all looked okay but I still stressed. Every Dr's visit I was told on paper I am a medical nightmare but evey mothy the specialist did a sonogram and all was okay. I still stressed right up until she was born at exactly 40 weeks weighing 7lbs 7.9 ozs. The testing reassured me but never stopped the worrying. At my DD's birth there were so many people in the room "just in case" it was crazy. NICU was right beside me the whole time. The greatest moment for me was when NICU said they were leaving because they weren't needed, my DD was fine. The testing allows you to know and prepare so that the best people in their respective fields are there if you and your child needs them. I always say it is better to be over prepared then not prepared. Imagine what if you or the baby did need extra help and there was a delay on getting the best services for you or the baby?

 

[Rylee]

You bring up great points from experience, Rylee. Knowledge is POWER. You were able to be prepared and provide the best possible outcome for your child.

I had my son at 40, and had the amnio. The genetic risks are pretty high at 40, and I wanted to be prepared.

It was a stressful time for us, but I was so glad we had time to research his condition and find a skilled specialist. I can't imagine having just given birth, discovering a birth defect, dealing with the shock and sadness and trying to decide our next course of action, all in a matter of a day or two.

We also interviewed local Dr.'s while we were pregnant and one said he read about it in medical school and another had the medical books on his desk, referring to them during our interview. He said he would have to call in a team of specialist to evaluate the baby after he was born and follow their recommendations.

I am grateful we were able to do what was best for our son.

 

[Rylee]

At my DD's birth there were so many people in the room "just in case" it was crazy.

We had 10, counting me and my husband. I remember thinking... Just the 10 of us, how intimate!

In our case, the NIC team did whisk our baby away, minutes after his birth. My husband was torn about where he belonged, I sent him with the baby, of course, but he felt terrible leaving me, alone, in a hospital, hundreds of miles from home.

 

[Sleeping~Beauty]

Just remember the nuchal translucency will help rule out the need for an amnio. A lot of the info I'm reading here isn't including the NT test or their is misunderstanding about it. The AFP blood test is totally different then the blood tests you do with the NT.

 

[barkley]

knowledge is power.

if you are adamant that despite the results you would not choose terminating the pregnancy, and would raise the child yourself-knowing of any potential medical issues ahead of time can provide you time to educate yourself and your family about what to expect.

in the event that there are issues that may endanger your life, or may impact on the baby's chance of survival, in my opinion, you have to take the necessary steps to ensure your safety-and prepare your current children should you not be bring a sibling for them home from the hospital.

one of my former co-workers opted to not have any testing done because she was adamant against terminating any kind of pregnancy. the two children she had already eagerly anticipated their new sibling and were very emotionaly invested in it's arrival. sadly, the child never had a chance. the little girl was born without ever having developed a brain and a large portion of her skull-it was a condition that would have been picked up very clearly in something as simple as a sonogram. to complicate matters the delivery was very bad and the mother greatly endangered her life (doctors told her later had they known of the child's condition it would have been a mandatory c-section to ensure her safety). on top of recovering physicaly, and emotionaly-the mom was left to deal with 2 young children that could not fathom why mom had'nt brought home the baby she 'promised', and why mommy had left them to stay in the hospital for so long. a few years later when she became pregnant again it was an ordeal with the children greatly fearful for her safety and not willing to hear any talk of their impending sibling-the did'nt belive it was going to happen based on past experience and they were'nt going to trust being saddened and disappointed again

in hindsight she was adamant that while she would not have terminated her pregnancy she would have wanted to know so she could have prepared the children for the actual realities of the known outcome. she also would have taken the necessary steps to ensure her own safety.

 

[DawnM]

I got the blood test with #1 and thankfully it came out ok, but what haunted me is that if it hadn't, there was nothing I was willing to do about it anyway, and I would have just worried to death for nothing.

I refuse to get an amnio, period. It can cause early labor and a whole host of other problems. I told a friend of mine that and she got it anyway and sure enough, she was one of the ones who went into pre-term labor and ended up in the hospital for several days and had to get her cervix sewn shut and be on bedrest for the duration because of it.

So....all that said, I simply said NO to even the bloodtest the second time around. Unless you can assure me that everything will be fine and you can fix whatever is wrong and I will 100% NOT go into preterm labor, I refuse all testing, period.

It was better peace of mind all the way around for me. I would deal with any issues when the time came.

Just my .02 opinionated cents on the issue.

Dawn

 

[DawnM]

Please note that I am not against a sonogram/ultrasound and did have these. I am just leary of amnios and that initial blood test has a HIGH rate of inaccuracy, from which you would need an amnio to clarify. It was just too risky to me personally.

Dawn

knowledge is power.

if you are adamant that despite the results you would not choose terminating the pregnancy, and would raise the child yourself-knowing of any potential medical issues ahead of time can provide you time to educate yourself and your family about what to expect.

in the event that there are issues that may endanger your life, or may impact on the baby's chance of survival, in my opinion, you have to take the necessary steps to ensure your safety-and prepare your current children should you not be bring a sibling for them home from the hospital.

one of my former co-workers opted to not have any testing done because she was adamant against terminating any kind of pregnancy. the two children she had already eagerly anticipated their new sibling and were very emotionaly invested in it's arrival. sadly, the child never had a chance. the little girl was born without ever having developed a brain and a large portion of her skull-it was a condition that would have been picked up very clearly in something as simple as a sonogram. to complicate matters the delivery was very bad and the mother greatly endangered her life (doctors told her later had they known of the child's condition it would have been a mandatory c-section to ensure her safety). on top of recovering physicaly, and emotionaly-the mom was left to deal with 2 young children that could not fathom why mom had'nt brought home the baby she 'promised', and why mommy had left them to stay in the hospital for so long. a few years later when she became pregnant again it was an ordeal with the children greatly fearful for her safety and not willing to hear any talk of their impending sibling-the did'nt belive it was going to happen based on past experience and they were'nt going to trust being saddened and disappointed again

in hindsight she was adamant that while she would not have terminated her pregnancy she would have wanted to know so she could have prepared the children for the actual realities of the known outcome. she also would have taken the necessary steps to ensure her own safety.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I used to work with a woman who had her 5th baby at 42. She was also of the mindset that she would have the baby no matter what might be wrong with him so she didn't have any of the prescribed testing done.

The baby was born with Down's Syndrome. She had to do a lot of scrambling to learn about Down's after he was born. The child is now 9 years old and she's still working hard to get him services, etc. She said once that if she had it to do over again, she would have had the tests. She still would have had the baby, but she would have been more prepared when he was born. She now knows that there are many resources and support groups that she could have tapped into while she was still pregnant. She said having the child and finding out he had special needs left her feeling bewildered, on top of being exhausted. He needed several heart surgeries, which is often typical for babies with Down's. My friend wishes she had been more prepared and knowledgable before he was born. Just something to think about.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

A couple of weeks ago I met a mom who had a 2 week-old with D/S. She had every test under the sun, no "markers" for Downs, and didn't find out until after she had given birth. I was already on-the-fence about having testing done with our next baby, but that sealed the deal for me. I'll still have routine ultrasounds, but I'm not bothering with the AFP/quad-screen/whatever they call it or an amnio. I wouldn't have an abortion anyways, so there is no point IMHO.

 

[jodifla]

A couple of weeks ago I met a mom who had a 2 week-old with D/S. She had every test under the sun, no "markers" for Downs, and didn't find out until after she had given birth. I was already on-the-fence about having testing done with our next baby, but that sealed the deal for me. I'll still have routine ultrasounds, but I'm not bothering with the AFP/quad-screen/whatever they call it or an amnio. I wouldn't have an abortion anyways, so there is no point IMHO.

It doesn't sound like she had every test under the sun. An amnio would certainly catch Downs.

The OP, at 37, is actually stastically pretty young. We sat down with a genetic counselor before we decided to do an ultrasound. At 40, and there beyond, your chances of having a genetic problem grow incredibly.

I had a great doctor, so had no fear of the amnio causing me any trouble...it was an easy procedure.

There's a lot you can prepare yourself for before the baby is born as previous posters have said...you can have everything set up support wise and medical wise before the baby is born and you're not exhausted and overwhelmed and trying to breast feed and understand your child's health needs and dealing with all the questions from family, your children, your friends all while trying to get some needed sleep and heal yourself.

It just perplexes me that people don't want to be as prepared as possible. (Although, at 37, it's probably not all that necessary. for 40 and beyond, I think it should be pretty mandatory.)

 

[loveswdw]

I'm 35 and pregnant with DS #2. We did no testing with DS #1 (I was 31) and he was fine except for a congenital defect in his heart (small holes). Those all closed up in the first year (he had to make several trips to the cardiologist). Otherwise he was fine. And his issues wouldn't have been detected by any of the tests.

I'm due to deliver #2 this week (Wednesday in fact unless he decides to come sooner on his own). We opted for no tests this time too except for the nuchal translucency screenings. And my doctor didn't really give me any choice. She basically said here's your appointment for this specialized ultrasound. Since it was an ultrasound that was fine with us. I wouldn't have done an amnio anyway. But the nuchal translucency tests came out great. My last ultrasound was just 2 weeks ago (baby hadn't been very active so doc wanted to check). Ultrasound tech said everything looked fantastic and the baby looked great. So hopefully no worries!

Good luck with #5! You are much braver than me! I think we are probably finished at #2!

 

[Aliceacc]

Good luck with #5! You are much braver than me! I think we are probably finished at #2!

That's what I thought after we adopted #1. Mother nature thought otherwise

 

[HopperFan]

A couple of weeks ago I met a mom who had a 2 week-old with D/S. She had every test under the sun, no "markers" for Downs, and didn't find out until after she had given birth. I was already on-the-fence about having testing done with our next baby, but that sealed the deal for me. I'll still have routine ultrasounds, but I'm not bothering with the AFP/quad-screen/whatever they call it or an amnio. I wouldn't have an abortion anyways, so there is no point IMHO.

I agree, she did not have "every test under the sun". Chorionic Villi Sampling or an Amniocentisis would have picked up Down Sydrome. They are the only tests that are definitive. If she was relying on all the screening tests for giving her a firm answer, she was misinformed. They are for screening only, and many times are inaccurate one way or another.

I don't promote tests one way or another, very personal choice. The plus for those who will not terminate is that they have the time to become knowledgeable and make plans in the event there is a problem. Finding out there is a problem at birth can be very traumatic....I have seen that many times as the parents at my DS school were involved in contacting these parents immediately after birth to give them information. Some were devastated, and had they known prior, maybe could have enjoyed the arrival of their child.

PS I have a child with Down Syndrome and had the CVS testing twice, once each way it is possible. Zero side effects. Know many folks who had both CVS and amnio being I was in the Down's community and yet to know anyone who had complications from these tests. Most of us were very particular as to who we let perform these tests.

 

[Val]

Again, congratulations. Had my first DD at 28, my second DD at 32, my DS at 36 and my 4th at 37. DD is now 10 and I am just plain old.

Speaking as both a psychobiologist and an "older" mom, I agree with Barkley that knowledge is power. But, that is MY opinion, and not necessarily yours. My first question to moms is 1) would knowing information early on change your mind about continuing the pregnancy. You have already answered that question. The second question is whether knowing bad news would a) either help you because you could get experts lined up and help you be better prepared to deal with the issue, or b) cause you more stress just worrying. If the answer is a), have the testing. If the worrying (and potentially needlessly, given the high false positives of many of the tests) would be worse than knowing, skip the testing.

You must decide what is best for you and your family. Again, I found knowledge was power. However, the geneticists were smucks in that they talked in statistics rather than human terms. If I had been a young mom with no knowledge of probablity, I would have been terrified that my baby was in terrible shape.....they cover their arses for liability reasons and don't always speak in "real people". Be informed and be prepared.

Also, remember that clear screenings don't guarantee an absence of later problems. Even a healthy baby can have later problems. Our DD10 has progressive bilateral hearing loss that is most likely congenital. It was not detected until age 5! We deal. She is not "disabled" (although she is LOUD!), has noisy friends (who are driving me nuts with their girl screams right now!), and is absolutely perfect in our eyes (but don't hold me to that when she is 16- I've already been through 2 teen girls!). DS12 has been to ER more times than I can count for various cuts and broken bones. I know he is well over 100 stitches so far....Dear family friends have a 16 year old DD who is absolutely beautiful, smart, kind, loving- all the things that any one could hope for. She is also a heroin addict and in and out of rehab. As much as we want, we can't protect our children from the bumps and bruises in life, and sometimes even bigger dangers. But, we do the best we can and in general the great majority of us turn out okay.The bottom line is probably that none of us are perfect. Some have a little more visible imperfections that others- some of those imperfections are present at birth and some take years to emerge. Still, to tell you the truth, I am not sure I would WANT to live in a world where everyone was perfect!

Good luck in making a most difficult decision. Congratulations on the upcoming arrival of another DIS member, and give extra hugs and kisses to those other 4. I still maintain that babies are a sign from God that He still has confidence in the world, and the world should go on. God Bless!