OT 13 year old DD YES to Facebook or NO

[mejaie]

But Dad all my friends have it!

 

[CAGirl]

My teens have one but so do I...and I am their friend on there. I can keep up with who they accept for friends and what they post on facebook. Our main rule is only accept friends that you personally know. Dont accept friends of friends unless you have met face to face. Being military and far from home my kids and I keep intouch with aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. Great way to see pics of family and feel like part of their world while being so far away....good luck!

 

[ccgirl]

Personally I say no. My DD7 has been asking for a phone, tv in her room etc and I say no. I get the but mom all my friends have it. My response, although I swore I would never say it, is well I am not their mother. My sister is the school resource officer and I have just heard horror stories about the social networking sites. If you are going to be extremely diligent like the above poster that is one thing. IMHO, I would say no.

 

[Tower]

I would also say 'no'.
While my kids are 8, 6 and 3, no to TV's, phones and computers in their rooms. No cell phones until they are old enough to pay for them on their own, and not until they turn 15 and working jobs.
DW has a computer with 4 users, each with passwords that the parents know. I also have netnanny on it to control their time online and to keep out any/all social networking sites. I can't be there all the time, hence netnanny.

 

[dangler]

My kids have it, but I made the password. I go on periodically to see what they are doing.
I am on their friends list too, so most of what they do comes on my newsfeed.
I also went into Privacy and put all the settings to only friends, including photographs, so that random people cannot pull up their photos. I had a co-worker look them up and they came up with the generic picture.
So far, we've had no problems.

 

[Debbie]

My teens have one but so do I...and I am their friend on there. I can keep up with who they accept for friends and what they post on facebook. Our main rule is only accept friends that you personally know. Dont accept friends of friends unless you have met face to face. Being military and far from home my kids and I keep intouch with aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. Great way to see pics of family and feel like part of their world while being so far away....good luck!

I say "yes" with the caveats above. Your DD is 13 (very different from 8 or 10), and this is a learning experience that you can control and advise her if things aren't going well (cyberbullying can happen, and everyone needs to know how to deal with it). I like the idea of you setting the password (did that with mine and hotmail when they were younger). With your support, your DD will enjoy the good that can come from FB. Good luck!

 

[maryliz]

I say "yes" with the caveats above. Your DD is 13 (very different from 8 or 10), and this is a learning experience that you can control and advise her if things aren't going well (cyberbullying can happen, and everyone needs to know how to deal with it). I like the idea of you setting the password (did that with mine and hotmail when they were younger). With your support, your DD will enjoy the good that can come from FB. Good luck!

What are you doin' here, Debbie??? I was reading this thread and now YOUR 13 year old niece (aka my DD), who was reading over my shoulder, thinks that I should let her get FB. I KNEW that feeding your children chocolate when they were younger just before sending them home to you would come back some day to get me.

 

[momtolots]

I say yes too! As a pp said, as long as you know the password, there should be no problems. Sometimes, as parents, we have to choose what to say yes to, and what to say no to.Choose our battles) I know my kids also like to play Farmville, etc as well on fb. anyway, just my HO.

 

[Sue M]

I would say yes, but set up their security yourself. And moniter their site.

 

[rjan67]

So far, I too have said no. There are some good ideas here if you decide yes. My daughter wants it too. They have improved the privacy settings. I'm still not conviced.

 

[BitsnBearsMom]

I'm a yes too - my almost 16yo has had it since he was 14 - I know the password and am a friend so I can monitor what goes on. I don't go on unless something I don't agree with or like is posted and he knows it. He mostly uses it to play games!
I agree with the PP too that 13 is ALOT different then 8 or 6 - I wouldn't let my 10yo have a facebook page even at this point!!

 

[Puccaw]

I say yes as well. I think that you have to begin to set some liberties in place. My 13 year olds have FB, I have both of their passwords and I made them add me as a friend so that I check up on them. It is actually a good thing to see which of their friends is up to what. Just keep a close eye on things.

 

[Northstar]

I say yes. But keep an eye on it... as others have said, the only way to make sure you have some control over it is to make sure you have the password, and to check out the page regularly.

Saying no to FB for a 13-year-old very often means that they create an account from a friend's computer and you don't have any way of monitoring it.

 

[canabrits2]

My teens have one but so do I...and I am their friend on there. I can keep up with who they accept for friends and what they post on facebook. Our main rule is only accept friends that you personally know. Dont accept friends of friends unless you have met face to face. Being military and far from home my kids and I keep intouch with aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. Great way to see pics of family and feel like part of their world while being so far away....good luck!

I agree with this post. My DD is only 6 and hasn't asked yet but her father and I have an account and can see all that is posted and what she posts and her friends etc. Plus, we have family spread far and wide and it's a fantastic resource to stay connected.

I say there no harm in it and I like to pick my battles and only argue with her about important things. I do not consider Facebook an issue at all. I would not just say "no" because of rumors or that it may take a few minutes of my time to actually check on her use of it. In fact, it does not take much time at all to be diligent and watch your kids, especially when Facebook makes it easy to do just that. We can help her set her security options so only her friends can see her pics etc.... I would just watch the amount of time overall that she uses it. I think that could become an issue about life/activity balance.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

My DS13 wants to open a FB account. My answer to him - HE** NO! Sorry, Charlie, too many kooks out there! Maybe in another 2 or 3 years...

 

[Disney Dad Canada]

There are just as many kooks in real life as there are in Facebook or any other online community. My kids are too young for Facebook right now, but when they are 13 they will definately be allowed.

The most important thing in letting kids online is to teach them proper online practices, and to keep computers in common areas, like a living room, and not in the child's bedroom. It can be a learning experience for both of you, as many teenagers know much more about computers than their parents.

 

[momtolots]

There are just as many kooks in real life as there are in Facebook or any other online community. My kids are too young for Facebook right now, but when they are 13 they will definately be allowed.

The most important thing in letting kids online is to teach them proper online practices, and to keep computers in common areas, like a living room, and not in the child's bedroom. It can be a learning experience for both of you, as many teenagers know much more about computers than their parents.

I definitely agree with Disney Dad. My 17, and 12 yr old help me post my pics on fb. They said it was faster to do it for me then walk me through all the steps. Apparently, I ask too many ?'s

 

[Tantor]

I said yes to my daughter at 13 BUT I have her password and can go on her FB anytime. I also make sure all her settings are on private and she is not out there for the world to look at.......

I have a friend who said no and the son went behind his bad and opened one anyways., I'd rather have control.

 

[rjan67]

I say yes. But keep an eye on it... as others have said, the only way to make sure you have some control over it is to make sure you have the password, and to check out the page regularly.

Saying no to FB for a 13-year-old very often means that they create an account from a friend's computer and you don't have any way of monitoring it.

Good point!

I guess by being a friend, I can monitor what goes on. I also see it as a vehicle for some cyber bullying by other kids. I figure if my dd doesn't have it, it can't be a problem.

 

[Tinkermom76]

I also am a yes.

My DS is 16 and he has had FB since he was 13 but I an on his friends list, friends with most of his friends and their parents, I have the password to the computer, his FB and his email. My computer is in the living room where I can see it and none of this will change till his 18th birthday. He thinks this is unfair but I tell him that not having access to the computer except for word documents and powerpoint would suck more.

I do check his FB daily through my account and go on his account every once in a while. My son is the only one of his friends that doesn't have disgusting swear words all over his FB and there is nothing on there that upsets me. I told him the house rules apply to FB as well so no swearing or bullying. So far so good so I think I am doing my job