Opposite problem from most: Parents WON'T cancel out!!

[Sammy]

Ok, I know this is weird, but let me explain:

We have been planning this WDW vacation for approx 13 months. We are gladly using points to take my parents (mom and stepdad) for their very first vacation with their grandkids. Mom hasn't been to Disney in 27 years (gasp!!) and stepdad hasn't been since the late 80's. We love them both to death and are thrilled to be sharing our Disney obsession with them.

We are now just about 30 days out, and had our "Disney vacation planning" day yesterday. Found out that DSD is scheduled to have surgery on his knee one week after we get back from vacation. We knew he had been having some stiffness and soreness in his knee, but he kept insisting he was going to be fine. Seems it's gotten so bad, that he had to have an MRI which showed bone spurs on the knee. So now he has to have surgery. Now we are thinking about rescheduling the vacation so he won't be in constant pain for 8 days, but they are insisting he is going to be fine!! They don't seem to have a clue just how much walking there will be and he doesn't want to rent an ECV. I think my mom wants to go so badly that she is in denial about the whole thing.

DH and I had a long discussion with the kids last night (11, 15, and 17) and they too are feeling that this is a recipe for disaster. I think we are going to drive to their house this week (about an hour away) and just have a very long, frank discussion with them. Disney is not going anywhere, and we can always put the trip off until he is feeling better. Either that, or he should rent an ECV so he isn't putting stress on that knee so close to surgery.

Ugh....sorry so long but I just had to vent. I always read the horror stories of members' family cancelling out on short notice, I'm just surprised to be on the other side of the coin!!

Thanks for listening,
Sammy

 

[Doctor P]

Ok, I know this is weird, but let me explain:

We have been planning this WDW vacation for approx 13 months. We are gladly using points to take my parents (mom and stepdad) for their very first vacation with their grandkids. Mom hasn't been to Disney in 27 years (gasp!!) and stepdad hasn't been since the late 80's. We love them both to death and are thrilled to be sharing our Disney obsession with them.

We are now just about 30 days out, and had our "Disney vacation planning" day yesterday. Found out that DSD is scheduled to have surgery on his knee one week after we get back from vacation. We knew he had been having some stiffness and soreness in his knee, but he kept insisting he was going to be fine. Seems it's gotten so bad, that he had to have an MRI which showed bone spurs on the knee. So now he has to have surgery. Now we are thinking about rescheduling the vacation so he won't be in constant pain for 8 days, but they are insisting he is going to be fine!! They don't seem to have a clue just how much walking there will be and he doesn't want to rent an ECV. I think my mom wants to go so badly that she is in denial about the whole thing.

DH and I had a long discussion with the kids last night (11, 15, and 17) and they too are feeling that this is a recipe for disaster. I think we are going to drive to their house this week (about an hour away) and just have a very long, frank discussion with them. Disney is not going anywhere, and we can always put the trip off until he is feeling better. Either that, or he should rent an ECV so he isn't putting stress on that knee so close to surgery.

Ugh....sorry so long but I just had to vent. I always read the horror stories of members' family cancelling out on short notice, I'm just surprised to be on the other side of the coin!!

Thanks for listening,
Sammy

Boy, I understand your concerns. The ECV route seems to definitely be the way to go--try to convince him that he doesn't HAVE to USE it but that it may be hard to change his mind after you get there so it is best to be safe.

 

[dianeschlicht]

DH has had those bone spurs in his knees for years and need replacement surgery, but he walks WDW just fine. If they say they are fine, believe them. We are likely older than they are, and we do just fine too, just now as fast as alot of folks.

 

[crisi]

Yep, if its important to them, just go. Take it easy and go slow. Have the number of the medical rental place handy in case you decide you want to rent an ECV or a wheelchair.

Your kids are old enough that it may be wise to break the kids off in the afternoon and let them enjoy the stuff they like, while you and your parents enjoy some slower quieter time.

 

[Granny]

I agree with Diane and Crisi....if they really want to go, try to make it as good a trip as possible while being sensitive to your DSD's knees. I also agree about the part where the kids break off from time to time.

You don't want the kids to remember this as a disaster trip...so I think if you all discuss being a bit flexible it will work out well. It sounds like your mother and stepdad are really looking forward to the trip with their children and grandchildren. If they say they are fine to go, I'd take them at their word.

Hope your trip is a great one!

 

[DVCLiz]

Just go ahead and have an ECV rented and delivered to your resort, in case. It would be cheap insurance if you get there and see he really needs it, and not that much of an expense if he can get around. Don't let it ruin your trip - just put it in place so it's there if you need it. You don't really have to mention it to him before you get there, either. Just tell him when you get there, "We thought we'd rather have this if it would help you have a better trip than have to struggle all week and make things harder for you."

 

[Plutofan]

One thing to consider is if you have a wheel chair you will get on rides a lot quicker. Just a thought.

 

[jco_direwolf]

I would say, if they don't want to cancel because they think they can make it okay, then it shouldn't be a problem. If they don't want to cancel because they don't want to "Ruin plans", they might want to re-think. This is really only something you can find out from them.

That said, EVERYONE should be prepared if there is a problem, they can go back to the room/resort and take it easy. With the Disney transportation, it shouldn't be a problem. There is a lot of walking involved at Disney now. You might want to save Animal Kingdom for a day or two into the trip, so everyone has a feeling for how the legs are holding up.

johno

 

[lovinthemouse]

If your parents think it will be fine. Then let it go. Go and have a good time.

 

[ClarabelleCow]

If your parents think it will be fine. Then let it go. Go and have a good time.

I agree - the kids are old enough to take off on their own, as are you! If Mom and Step-Dad, say its okay, then its okay. If he gets sore, go to the front of the park and grab a wheel chair or ECV for a while, or they can head back and hang in the pool or hot tub. I wouldn't make a big deal about it, sounds like spending time with the kids and you are more important, and they may be just as happy bing at the resort, seeing you in the am and pm and going to dinner!!

 

[DVCLiz]

One thing to consider is if you have a wheel chair you will get on rides a lot quicker. Just a thought.

This really isnt true for most rides any more.

 

[SueM in MN]

One thing to consider is if you have a wheel chair you will get on rides a lot quicker. Just a thought.

That is not correct information.
At AK and the Studio, all the attractions have "Mainstream Lines", which means the lines are wheelchair and ECV accessible and people using those wait in the same line with everyone else.
Epcot and MK are older, so some of the lines are not totally accessible. As they built new rides and renovated older ones, they did make Mainstream Lines as much as possible.

Regarding renting an ECV without telling him, we did that on our last trip for my FIL. He had previously used and ECV at Epcot and the Studio, so we thought he would welcome having an ECV waiting for him. He didn't say anything to us, but we could tell he was not happy. He would not touch it.

Several people have posted on the disABILITIES Board over the years that they have pro-actively rented an ECV. Some have had good experiences, some have had bad - one woman posted that it caused a big arguement between her and her companion and they didn't talk for a day.

I, personally would not rent an ECV again without discussing it with the person. If you decide to do it, you do need to be prepared for whatever his reaction is - good or bad.

 

[MinnieGirl33]

You never know what tomorrow will bring.

If they say they will be fine... just go & enjoy.

 

[dianeschlicht]

(snip)I, personally would not rent an ECV again without discussing it with the person. If you decide to do it, you do need to be prepared for whatever his reaction is - good or bad.

I totally agree with this. It would be demeaning. If he decides it's needed after a day of park walking, you can always go to the front desk and ask for the number of one of the rental places and then get it with his knowledge and approval.

 

[Sammy]

I would say, if they don't want to cancel because they think they can make it okay, then it shouldn't be a problem. If they don't want to cancel because they don't want to "Ruin plans", they might want to re-think. This is really only something you can find out from them.

That said, EVERYONE should be prepared if there is a problem, they can go back to the room/resort and take it easy. With the Disney transportation, it shouldn't be a problem. There is a lot of walking involved at Disney now. You might want to save Animal Kingdom for a day or two into the trip, so everyone has a feeling for how the legs are holding up.

johno

Yep....I think it's a combination of the two. I really don't think they realize the huge amount of walking involved. DSD can't even make it around the Mall without sitting down every few stores. Also, I think they know how much planning went into this trip, and he "doesn't want to ruin" it for everyone else. Sigh....I'm just going to have a talk with the two of them and take it from there. Hopefully, he'll agree to an ECV (wheelchair would be completely out of the question), or if not....the two of them will agree to take some time away and relax at the resort.

 

[SueM in MN]

I totally agree with this. It would be demeaning. If he decides it's needed after a day of park walking, you can always go to the front desk and ask for the number of one of the rental places and then get it with his knowledge and approval.

I want to add that with FIL, we had given them the names of the rental places so they could call if they wanted to on trips several years in a row.
We had also told them we could call and rent one for FIL since they had expressed some uncertainty about how you did it, etc.
So, we did think it would be welcome.

 

[castleri]

Yep....I think it's a combination of the two. I really don't think they realize the huge amount of walking involved. DSD can't even make it around the Mall without sitting down every few stores. Also, I think they know how much planning went into this trip, and he "doesn't want to ruin" it for everyone else. Sigh....I'm just going to have a talk with the two of them and take it from there. Hopefully, he'll agree to an ECV (wheelchair would be completely out of the question), or if not....the two of them will agree to take some time away and relax at the resort.

Sounds like a good plan and since you are at the point of points going into holding if you cancel that comes into play. Maybe once he sees how many ECVs are being used it will help him be more accepting. I would get some quotes from some of the offsite rental places that will deliver one for you. Maybe he is afraid that it will actually be worse after the surgery or that something will go wrong and he won't be able to go then. Good luck and have a wonderful trip.

 

[deedeetoo]

I agree with others that you shouldn't rent something without their consent, but have the rental phone numbers just in case.

We went last year with Mom who is 72 and has some trouble walking. We tried to talk her into renting an ECV or letting us push her in a wheelchair. She was adamant that she did not need it. Well, it turned out she was right. I couldn't believe it but she kept up with us through 7 days of park touring. Of course, we did try to take it a bit easy because of her, and find places to rest in the shade, etc., but I was really impressed with what she could do. After the trip, she said the only day she really felt like she was "in trouble" was when we were at Epcot World Showcase after Illuminations and had to walk all the way back to the bus. She didn't say a word to us at the time.

We are going back this year, and are planning to rent a park wheelchair when we go to WS but she is insisting she can do everything else. I will have all the rental phone numbers with me, just in case. I have also told her that the next time she feels she is "in trouble" to tell us so that we can help her. You might want to make sure that your step-dad doesn't hide it if he is having a problem like my mom did that day.

 

[DVCLiz]

I'd still make the arrangements ahead of time, or I'd at least have it ready to order as soon as the need became apparent. This to me doesn't sound like a "needing to be respectful of a disability" but a "stubborn old man who is making things difficult."

But anyway, I hope it works out whatever you decide and you have a great trip!!!

 

[Deb & Bill]

What kind of knee surgery is he having? I had a total knee replacement seven weeks ago. I am walking with a cane (better than I was walking before with my old knee, just slower). I expect to be cane-free by the end of May (if not before) in time for our trip to FL. I just didn't expect this much pain from this surgery. Me and Loratab have become good friends at night.

We went in Nov and I had a hard time walking around. One night we got a wheelchair at Epcot and I used that for the evening. For the most part, my cane got me around okay. We just slowed it down for the old lady.

Once my physician decided to do the knee replacement, I got on the surgery schedule as soon as possible. It needed to be done. If your SD can wait until after the vacation, it might not be that bad, just something that needs to be fixed so that he can enjoy a better quality of life.