Opinions Please!!!

[M.K. Poppins]

I'm having a hard time trying to decide if I should invite my coworkers to our wedding. I know that sounds awful, but we're trying very hard to keep the guest list to 120 or less and you know that if you invite 1 you have to invite them all. Our EM told us that to stay w/in our budget we reallywon't want to go over 120. If I invite coworkers w/o guests I'll still be adding 15-20 people. (they're all women, so I'm wondering if I could get away with not inviting husbands, etc. - what do you think about that?) Most of these girls are new to my school this year, so I haven't known them for very long, and none of them are what I would consider close friends, but I feel blessed to work with them, we all get along very well and I'd love to share our day with them. I'm just not sure how I would feel if I was in the position of not being invited...they know about the wedding, they know it's at Disney, and some of them have made comments to me about how cool it's probably going to be...HELP!! And if I don't invite them, how can I say that it's because their presence would push us over budget??? That's awful! I know that not everyone that we invite to the wedding is going to come, but the majority of our guest list is family and very close friends, so I don't anticipate that many people won't be there...sorry so long , but DH2B doesn't like to talk about this, he just thinks it will be easier to not invite any "extra" people...what do you think?

 

[nkkilala]

Poppins,
I know a little about the problem you are having. I am already having a hard time limiting my guest list and I haven't even booked my wedding date yet! I have decided to keep it to only people I REALLY want there. I look at the list and think, Will I regret not having this persone there, Will I be looking for them at the reception and wanting to talk with them, if they don't meet this criteria than I put them off the list. It is really hard but I can't invite the whole world, which is what I would like to do....Open wedding everyone welcome! But we all know things just don't work that way. I hope this might be of some help to you.
Ultimatley it is your day and your budget.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

Personally, we ran into a similar issue when we looked at our first guest list- over 300. Both DH's parents are teachers and they work in separate school systems. DH went to the school where his father works. For that reason, his parents felt trapped. We did not end up inviting anyone except the people who DH was close to.... about 6 teachers. We ended up inviting about 165 and had 68 show. The counts were at 72 or so but there were a few last minute emergencies, etc.

Although most of your guest list is family and friends, you will still be shocked how many are unable or unwilling to attend. I would not keep the girls in the office up to date as to your progress with invitations or guest counts as you receive the RSVP. When you receive enough RSVPs with regrets that allow you to invite them, invite them. If you don't, then you can pick and choose (might not be a good idea) or not invite anyone.

Do you live locally? If you don't and this is a travelling thing, it would seem very wrong not to not invite them with a guest or significant other. How would you like to receive a wedding invitation for a Disney wedding, live in Chicago, and not have the "go ahead" from the host to bring a friend or loved one with you? Not very fair. If you're local, it's a horse of a different color. I, personally, wouldn't do it, but it doesn't mean you can't.

HTH!
xoxo

 

[twojo21]

my opinion dont invite coworkers. when asked say family only.

also married couples should always be invited together.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

my opinion dont invite coworkers. when asked say family only.

also married couples should always be invited together.

What about engaged or serious couples? If I was invited to a wedding after I had been dating Brye for 3 or 4 years- and we were living together, etc- I'd be really hurt.

 

[twojo21]

i meant to include serious couples, etc. i dont think a guest should be invited that far away without a guest irregardless of marital status (its theyre vacation too) unless theyre invited with family.

 

[hmgolden]

We invited all my co-workers. But I work in a small office - at the time there was 6 of us total and 2 of them would have been invited anyway as they were close friends. Those 2 were the only ones that came.

And just to echo what the other said, serious/married couples should always be invited with their SO/husband.

 

[M.K. Poppins]

Good points to ponder!! I am local, and none of the guests in question would be travelling more than 40 minutes to the wedding. I know that etiquette speaking, you are right about the significant other / spouse thing and I'm only considering it because of numbers...at the same time, that would double my number of "extras" and I've hardly met any of the husbands except for 1 or 2...I think I'm grasping at straws here, but wouldn't it be better to be able to invite just the girls if I know that there's no way we could afford to invite them+guests? Or am I just being plain ol' tacky???? - Tell me, I can take it...

 

[TInk218]

We are having the same problem. But I think an important thing to remember is that no matter what you do some people are going to be offended. We are not inviting my office, I work for my mother and there are many people who we would like to attend but when it comes down to it you have to look at who has really been a part of your life. Even though you see your coworkers everyday you may not consider them a significant part of your life. Do you hang out with them outside of the office a lot? Or are they someone you only see at the office? I know in my situation if we were to invite all my coworkers we would have over 200+++ invitations go out. However, about 75 of my guest list is just my immediate family not even cosidering my fiances side. So in my case more sacrifices had to be made. Whatever you decide to do dont fret about it!

 

[JandJ]

I can sympathize on a MUCH smaller scale. We had an Intimate so talk about limiting the guest list! My friends, co-workers, and extended family all knew they would not be invited to the wedding and because of that I didn't expect gifts or anything, but they through me two showers, a bachelorette (at Disney), and many sent wedding gifts. DH and I were so surprised by this!

The point is, people understand. They know how expensive a wedding is, especially at Disney, and especially a big wedding (anything over 10 guests is big to me ). I think your co-workers will be understanding of your budget constraints.

Best of Luck

 

[Codie]

I would just emphasize that you are keeping it "small and personal"...people know right away that that means only family and the closest of friends. My criteria for both disney and my local reception (which yours would be both) was 1) family and 2) friends that have been around and that I expect to be around in the distant future!

 

[hmgolden]

Good points to ponder!! I am local, and none of the guests in question would be travelling more than 40 minutes to the wedding. I know that etiquette speaking, you are right about the significant other / spouse thing and I'm only considering it because of numbers...at the same time, that would double my number of "extras" and I've hardly met any of the husbands except for 1 or 2...I think I'm grasping at straws here, but wouldn't it be better to be able to invite just the girls if I know that there's no way we could afford to invite them+guests? Or am I just being plain ol' tacky???? - Tell me, I can take it...

While I understand your dilemma, I think not inviting their husbands would be 'plain ol' tacky'. If I were to receive an invite to a friend from work's wedding and DH wasn't also invited, I would be offended and I wouldn't go. I would rather not be invited to the wedding than be invited without DH.

 

[M.K. Poppins]

Yeah, that's what I thought I guess we're just going to have to wait and see what our final numbers will be and how our cost is going to look in relation to our budget...if this is the hardest decision we'll have to make, I guess the rest will be smooth sailing!!