opinions please? Buying a house

I would keep looking, no way would I buy a house with one bathroom and no way would I buy a house with a mortgage more than 25% of my take home pay.
One bathroom would be fine in a few years when the kids are out. One bathroom with a wife and 2 daughters I can say was horrible. I can't buy a house under 75% of my income. Houses will never be 25% of mine ever again.
 
I agree the first house sounds quite large and I can understand not liking how top of the budget it is. On the other hand the smaller home just because it's more economical in the initial mortgage and easier on the budget initially doesn't mean it's the better option just because of that. Absolutely financial stress is huge but so is living day to day in a house that you end up hating, doesn't work, etc. Not saying that's how it would be but just don't think smaller, cheaper means it's ideal on the day to day living either. Are you confident that the second house wouldn't have some large repairs that could come up? Not having a dishwasher makes me think maybe older? How are the resources there in the second house for getting repair work done? What the special education responsiveness for both houses? Even in the suburbs sometimes a school isn't as good as another when it comes to that resources.

I actually really like the idea a poster mentioned about the apartment part. Your son would still have a dedicated bedroom. Only you know your area's rental market but I would think right now is a good time to rent out. You could do a 12 month lease and only a 12 month lease that could help supplement the mortgage income but not put you in a long-term commitment to that lifestyle.

Ultimately though? I would probably continue to rent. Both options seem for you on one end of the extreme of each other, both having some pros and cons but neither truly fitting in with your situation.
 
I've been doing it for over a year now in my current bedroom which is about the size of a walk in closet so I know I can do it. Lol, my current setup is basically wall to wall bed with a small corner desk and a computer chair I can't even fully pull out to sit so trust me this bonus room will be an upgrade!! 🤣 I understand what you mean though

But shouldn't the point of buying a home be that you can stop living like that?
 

I'm in the "keep looking" camp. Is offering less money for house #1 an option? A single bathroom house isn't the best, especially with multiple people living there. Even after kids move out, if you have guests or something, I'd personally want a second bathroom.

And I think the "big" house will feel even larger, once the kids the move out (6 years?).
 
Here is something to think about - what will happen to your mortgage when taxes go up if you income doesn’t go up at the same rate?
I think that depends on the way a particular area taxes things if you're thinking about the first house already being the top.

In the county above me their market value that the property tax is based off of is much lower than ours but the taxing rate they end up paying in proportion to the value of the homes is more than ours.

Granted everyone will be finding out the 2023 rate in a few months (every Jan 1st the homes are reassessed) but for 2022 my husband's grandmother's place in the county above me their property tax is almost 1/3 of ours however our house was valued at 4 times the value of theirs. Our property tax amount while obviously higher than theirs is lower in proportion to the value than theirs. And for ours more of our portion of the property tax bill goes to the schools than theirs does. Another downside to the county above me is it is typically the poorest in the state while ours is the wealthiest so that increased proportion of property tax actually hurts those citizens more
 
To me, it doesn't look like either house is acceptable.

I would stay wherever I am and keep looking.

You say there were other 'in between' houses but you just weren't quick enough?

That means they ARE out there.

I don't know where you are but I think demand is going to loosen up a little.

Choices being something you aren't comfortable affording and something that functionally does not work for you, is not really a choice.
One is too much, one is too little. I agree, find one that is just right.
As for my personal preference, not sure I would ever consider a home with less than two bathrooms.
My daughter has a one bathroom home, and she lives alone and even she wishes she had a second bathroom. She is saving her money in the hopes of someday turning one of the three bedrooms into a master bathroom
 
The mortgage payment as a percentage of your take home income is really a variable thing, comfort wise, depending on your income and your other monthly obligations. I mean, right now our rent is 30% of our take home pay, but it still leaves us enough to put aside 25% of our take home into savings, because we have no other monthly obligations (no loans, no car payments, no credit card balances, etc). I would be fully comfortable with a house payment close to 50% of our take home pay, because a large percentage of our income is from guaranteed stream.

It really all depends on so many factors.
Here my monthly property taxes that I pay with my mortgage are pretty much equal to my mortgage payments.
 
Here my monthly property taxes that I pay with my mortgage are pretty much equal to my mortgage payments.

Well, I'm talking about a PITI payment when I say "house payment."

I could EASILY afford just a mortgage here. It's everything else that gets added in that makes it prohibitive.
 
Will your son be paying you rent? Is he able to handle all the yard work?


Being house poor is no fun. In addition to the obvious costs with mortgage how much will your heat/AC/electric/gas bill be in the big house? How much will water cost? How much are the taxes and will they be going up annually? What is the difference in home insurance?

I would buy the house that is good for you for the long haul. It seems like the smaller home meets YOUR needs and leaves you extra money to do some upgrades, and like you say travel etc. Are you prepared to be stressed over costs and spending all your money just to have a bigger, higher maintenance house?

This is far off but with 2 acres and more rural (likely less zoning issues) would there be an option down the road for your son to have a tiny home on the property? Gives you both privacy and him independence.
That's something to think about, I haven't checked into the zoning laws but I guess that's a possibility to split the plot of land and build something small, I also was thinking I could look into putting on an addition too if my son stays with me permanently. There is a large, stand-alone 2 car garage on the property (sorry I didn't mention it in the original post but the garage is not super close to the house so it didn't really factor in to my decision) with the second house that has electricity and could probably be converted to living space with permits. I actually didn't look through the garage real well because I wasn't planning to use it, I'll have to ask the realtor about it. I really am leaning toward that house anyway because like you said, I don't want to be house poor and I'd rather have more disposable income. Both houses are move in ready but I feel like the cheaper house has a lot of issues with it that I'd want to change pretty much immediately for my own comfort , like the dishwasher thing, and the laundry is in the basement and I kind of hate that but there's really nowhere to convert to a laundry area in the upstairs parts of the house so I'd just have to accept that and deal with it.
 
I like the second house. You could always set aside some money over time to save up for a small addition to add a second bathroom and guest bedroom but after living there you might find you don't need it. I would always choose to be less stretched and have more flexibility personally.
 
Before you buy the second house you need to meet with the district's special ed department to see if they are able and willing to meet your child's needs. I've heard horror stories from other parents about problems they've gone through with getting their districts to meet their legal obligations.
 
I like the second house. You could always set aside some money over time to save up for a small addition to add a second bathroom and guest bedroom but after living there you might find you don't need it. I would always choose to be less stretched and have more flexibility personally.
I was thinking that too. Watching all these makeover shows perhaps there is a way to expand the kitchen and adding a bathroom with the laundry in one or the other. I think we tend to just look at what is there and not what could be there. I moved my laundry to an upstairs closet where I found dead space behind it and was able to expand the space.

That's something to think about, I haven't checked into the zoning laws but I guess that's a possibility to split the plot of land and build something small, I also was thinking I could look into putting on an addition too if my son stays with me permanently. There is a large, stand-alone 2 car garage on the property (sorry I didn't mention it in the original post but the garage is not super close to the house so it didn't really factor in to my decision) with the second house that has electricity and could probably be converted to living space with permits. I actually didn't look through the garage real well because I wasn't planning to use it, I'll have to ask the realtor about it. I really am leaning toward that house anyway because like you said, I don't want to be house poor and I'd rather have more disposable income. Both houses are move in ready but I feel like the cheaper house has a lot of issues with it that I'd want to change pretty much immediately for my own comfort , like the dishwasher thing, and the laundry is in the basement and I kind of hate that but there's really nowhere to convert to a laundry area in the upstairs parts of the house so I'd just have to accept that and deal with it.
Oooo a garage could make a great conversion. Yes lots to check on there but perhaps lots of potential.

Before you buy the second house you need to meet with the district's special ed department to see if they are able and willing to meet your child's needs. I've heard horror stories from other parents about problems they've gone through with getting their districts to meet their legal obligations.
This is true. As the parent of a child who went through Special Ed from birth through 22 it's always important to see the programs. What I have found that it really depends on each district's mission ~ we were in a VERY SMALL district (HS grad class of 100, 1 middle and 2 elementary) and while they didn't have enough resources they were committed to spend what they had to for us. We moved to a larger district with more resources but they always wanted to bus my child far away. I know some in rural areas who are getting excellent education for their children that I know if they were in my affluent district they would get mainstreamed with minimal support. It really varies from district to district.

OP you didn't say how much support she gets but if she is planning to graduate on time, you only have two years to go. You have a decade of paperwork of what she has done and what she needs that will be most helpful transitioning and getting her proper support. For sure contact them to get a feel for it.
 
I live in a house with one bathroom and no dishwasher. It’s not ideal but you adjust. I would maybe put your son in the bonus space now or down the road. Since you have so much land, is it possible to build a garage with an apartment above eventually?

O sorry, I missed the post about the existing garage. Lots of options there!
 
That's something to think about, I haven't checked into the zoning laws but I guess that's a possibility to split the plot of land and build something small, I also was thinking I could look into putting on an addition too if my son stays with me permanently. There is a large, stand-alone 2 car garage on the property (sorry I didn't mention it in the original post but the garage is not super close to the house so it didn't really factor in to my decision) with the second house that has electricity and could probably be converted to living space with permits. I actually didn't look through the garage real well because I wasn't planning to use it, I'll have to ask the realtor about it. I really am leaning toward that house anyway because like you said, I don't want to be house poor and I'd rather have more disposable income. Both houses are move in ready but I feel like the cheaper house has a lot of issues with it that I'd want to change pretty much immediately for my own comfort , like the dishwasher thing, and the laundry is in the basement and I kind of hate that but there's really nowhere to convert to a laundry area in the upstairs parts of the house so I'd just have to accept that and deal with it.
Get @Vcize to help. :D

If you don't know what I'm talking about... https://www.disboards.com/threads/i-need-help-naming-my-disney-house.3906774/
 
I'm in the wait camp.

For me, I do think you need a second master or basement space for your son who it looks like may be with you for the long haul.

Or in our neighborhood there are 3 homes that are group homes for developmentally delayed adults. 3 or 4 adults live in a traditional ranch home and caregivers rotate shifts coming to the house to be sure everyone is safe.

We would never know these homes were here, but we know the family of one of the residents. And we do pass one home at shift change sometimes.

As your kids age to adults, i think you'll want more space than the smaller home (but not 2 acres, that becomes a lot to care for as you age) and not as much space as the large home-I would hate to heat, cool, and maintain a very large home.

Aside- our 25 year old was itching to buy a home in this market just last week. But after discussion with dh and I about upkeep and maintenance costs, and interest rates, and paying off student loand, he changed his mind and decided to wait until things improve.
 
Has your realtor set up different MLS searches for you in your desired areas? If they have not have them do so immediately so that when anything goes on the market or changes price in those areas you will automatically get sent an email with the listing so you can see it ASAP. I’m definitely in the unless it’s exactly what you want in a house don’t buy it. Buying a house is a huge purchase especially if you are looking for a forever home you plan to settle into, don’t settle you will regret it. Inventory changes all the time and it can take 4-6 months to find what you are looking for. I’m a realtor and my best advice is to make a list of all the non negotiables in what you are looking for in a house - number of bedrooms/bathrooms/ garage/ pool/amount of land/ school districts etc. Everything is so expensive now a days from repairs/new roof etc that I fell that no more than 33% of your income should go towards mortgage/taxes and insurance. We only have one life to live to be stressed out in a big house you are stretching to afford vs a smaller house where you can comfortably live in and travel and save for a rainy day and retirement is a better choice.
 


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