Opinions on spanking children?

[castmember19]

Is it okay? Yes or no and why, in what circumstances? Do you do it?

My boyfriend grew up in a family where the kids were spanked and I still see his younger siblings (10 and 7) being spanked from time to time.

I was never spanked as a child, though my dad was but apparently chose not to carry over that method of discipline to his own children.

I don't think spanking is totally awful, but can't imagine doing it to my own future children.

What do you think?

 

[handinpocket]

I think I'm taking my refillable mug to WDW next month, I'ma gonna pool hop, I don't intend to tip my servers, I'm going to leave my shopping cart in the parking space next to me when I go to the Crossroads grocery and I'm gonna be sure my unborn son is circumcised.

 

[Aisling]

Don't believe in it. Never did it. My kids turned out very well.

But that's my style and everyone should parent the way they see fit for hem, barring abuse of course.

I used to grab my young children and make them look me in the eye as I firmly repremand3d them. Worked like a charm without hitting them.

Again, to each his own. No debate from me.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Is it okay? Yes or no and why, in what circumstances? Do you do it?

My boyfriend grew up in a family where the kids were spanked and I still see his younger siblings (10 and 7) being spanked from time to time.

I was never spanked as a child, though my dad was but apparently chose not to carry over that method of discipline to his own children.

I don't think spanking is totally awful, but can't imagine doing it to my own future children.

What do you think?

Oh boy. Ok, you are a new member (or at least a member under a new name) and are probably blissfully unaware of what a heated topic this is. I want to tell you to write another post saying "Nevermind" or just run away, but you would probably think I'm being melodramatic. Hope you have a flame suit.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

I think I'm taking my refillable mug to WDW next month, I'ma gonna pool hop, I don't intend to tip my servers, I'm going to leave my shopping cart in the parking space next to me when I go to the Crossroads grocery and I'm gonna be sure my unborn son is circumcised.

Be sure and park your car at the Contemporary even if you aren't staying on site. That's the best place to park, because you can walk to MK from there. Oh, and don't forget to hop on over to the Budget Board and complain how hard it is to save for a Disney trip while your house is in foreclosure.

 

[NMAmy]

Hold onto your hat, OP, because this is really a hot button topic!

I never spanked. I was spanked as a child and I swore I would never do that and I didn't. It seemed hypocritical to me to teach my child not to hit while hitting her myself.

I have a lovely, polite 20 yo dd who is a college student. Others who spanked their children also have lovely, polite 20 yo college students. I'm never going to win my argument against those who think it's okay to spank or who even think it's imperative to spank. I just knew it was the wrong thing for me and my family and I'm grateful that I used other disciplinary methods to raise my child.

 

[shortbun]

My Easter plans have me awake and I log on to find this. Now I'll never get any sleep.

 

[livie1205]

I think spanking (not beating) is fine if that is what you choose...I have never had to spank my dd5 and she is a a very well behaved child....I just never HAD to spank her...she is spoiled but does not act like a spoiled child.

 

[Pixiedust34]

Don't believe in it. Never did it. My kids turned out very well.

But that's my style and everyone should parent the way they see fit for hem, barring abuse of course.

I used to grab my young children and make them look me in the eye as I firmly repremand3d them. Worked like a charm without hitting them.

Again, to each his own. No debate from me.

What she said. We never spanked, but we were firm. Our kids turned out fine.

 

[FredinFL]

:

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I think I'm taking my refillable mug to WDW next month, I'ma gonna pool hop, I don't intend to tip my servers, I'm going to leave my shopping cart in the parking space next to me when I go to the Crossroads grocery and I'm gonna be sure my unborn son is circumcised.

You forgot to bring your 14yo son into the ladies public bathroom.

 

[bicker]

Actions have consequences. Anyone who believes that inflicting pain on someone else doesn't have negative, long-term impact on both the person who onto whom the pain is being administered as well as on to the person inflicting the pain is deluding themselves.

The issue reduces down to relative merit: Is the damage done to the pain-receiver combined with the damage done to the pain-giver less than or greater than what the pain-giver hopes to achieve in terms of positive impact from the infliction of the pain?

How to know? Each person can inject their own perspective, but such comments are easily dismissed by simple contradiction: I think your perspective is wrong and mine is correct. However, in this case, one tool we can use is to look rationally at the foundation of each perspective for clues to the actual truth. Is the perspective soundly founded? ... or are there objectively clear signs of fallacy on which one perspective or the other is based?

I think it is very telling that most folks who advocate infliction of pain as a human disciplinary tactic refuse to accept and consider the long-term damage that such action causes, to the pain-receiver and to the pain-giver, as well as to society as-a-whole. Generally, when an advocate refuses to acknowledge realities like that it tends to indicate a realization that, when all the considerations are taken into account, what they are advocating will end up with a failing grade. They will fight tooth-and-nail to blind themselves and others to the realities that undercut what they're advocating, presumably because they're unable or unwilling to pursue other approaches that accomplish the same ends without causing harm. They'll extol the short-term benefits and ignore the long-term ramifications.

So while I don't find the anti-spanking perspective unequivocally definitive, by itself, the fallacy on which the pro-spanking perspective is typically dependent helps make clear that spanking is not the right answer.

 

[bombygriz]

I was spanked when I was very small, and it has NOT helped me in any way. In fact, when my mother took it beyond spanking to some general hitting and physical harm, it had long-term effects on my psychological health. I am ALWAYS going to cringe when someone raises a hand at me, whether it's to hit me or not. When I am angry I sometimes hit people, if I am close to them, because it is subconsciously what I was taught. I'f fifteen and I still hit people. Does that sound nice, or what? As someone who is a victim of parental physical abuse (which, IMO, includes ANY act of striking a child), I will NEVER lay a hand on my child when I am angry. It is completely uncalled for to use violence to teach a child. It has several psychological effects that can be embarrassing and hard to overcome in the long term.

 

[abdmom]

Spanking was one of the reasons I had difficulties as a younger person interacting with those older than me. It's also the main reason I rarely see my mother today. In fact, my siblings rarely visit as well.

 

[aprilgail2]

Never felt the need to use violence on my child- only thing spanking teaches is that its ok for a person to hit you as long as they are bigger than you! There are much better ways to parent a child than using violence on them.

 

[Jennasis]

Couldn't we all just back away slowly?

 

[abdmom]

Couldn't we all just back away slowly?

The damage on my psyche was so severe that if I can stop one child from being spanked, it will be definitely worth a few posts on a flaming thread.

 

[bombygriz]

Never felt the need to use violence on my child- only thing spanking teaches is that its ok for a person to hit you as long as they are bigger than you! There are much better ways to parent a child than using violence on them.

^This. It's probably why I've had problems with bullying as a child and ended up in an abusive relationship as a teen-because all along I was taught that someone bigger than you can make you hurt and it's perfectly fine, plus, it's your fault.

Sometimes I don't understand why you would ever hit your child if your whole goal was to protect them from harm...

 

[disneyjunkie]

Is it okay? Yes or no and why, in what circumstances? Do you do it?

My boyfriend grew up in a family where the kids were spanked and I still see his younger siblings (10 and 7) being spanked from time to time.

I was never spanked as a child, though my dad was but apparently chose not to carry over that method of discipline to his own children.

I don't think spanking is totally awful, but can't imagine doing it to my own future children.

What do you think?

If this nasty rain doesn't stop, I will be stuck inside most of the day. I was thinking I'd spend the day cleaning the closet then I read this thread. Forget the closet, I'm watching this show.

I think I'm taking my refillable mug to WDW next month, I'ma gonna pool hop, I don't intend to tip my servers, I'm going to leave my shopping cart in the parking space next to me when I go to the Crossroads grocery and I'm gonna be sure my unborn son is circumcised.

Don't forget to pick up a stroller for your 16 year old or a leash for the younger kids.

Be sure and park your car at the Contemporary even if you aren't staying on site. That's the best place to park, because you can walk to MK from there. Oh, and don't forget to hop on over to the Budget Board and complain how hard it is to save for a Disney trip while your house is in foreclosure.

If she's lucky, some kind person will come along and post a pretty map showing her how to get from the community board to the theme park board to the budget board.

 

[bombygriz]

The damage on my psyche was so severe that if I can stop one child from being spanked, it will be definitely worth a few posts on a flaming thread.

There's someone else? *hallelujah* I feel the same way too, I've had social problems as a result of this and I'm not happy with it. We're in this together.