Online Dating

[Scouter]

Disney cruises have single minglers type things I believe. I've told myself that next time I cruise I *WILL* be brave and check one out.
But yes! I wish there was more Disney friendly ways to meet like minded peeps because in a few years when the kids are no longer interested I'm going to need someone to do Disney things with me :-D ... And mebbe open the odd jam jar or catch a spider or something.

I did a few of those things on a cruise that I was single. They're weren't many of us there, I think less than 10, as most people go with families, but I met a few people that we were friendly with the rest of the cruise.

 

[Scouter]

I never jump to WhatsApp, that's a red flag for me. I counter with either a flat "chill!" (And they get uppity, drop them)) or suggest ******* - this way you can chat without disclosing your phone number ;-) at this point if they get pushy or neggy, be done. If boundaries won't be respected at this early stage? Red flag. I mean carry on, but it's a red flag.

ds

I just deleted his message or whatever (not too familiar with how to use Hinge) and will just ignore anything from him. I usually miss red flags, for decades actually, but I think I saw that one quickly! Maybe I'm finally learning at my old age.

 

[shawthorne44]

I haven’t read this entire thread so if it’s a repeat I’m sorry. But every time I go to DL with my kids I think “THIS is where I could probably find the perfect guy for me.” Lol.

There might be something to this.

DD and I used to go to Six Flags on Saturdays fairly regularly. DH worked on our future (now) house while I did the single mother routine. If DD found a friend to hang out with, bonus. One Saturday every stinking kid was with their divorced dad. The dads either wanted to hit on me, or thought I was using my kid to hit on them. It was quite annoying. I complained to a work buddy who is divorced. He said, "Well, it was the First Saturday" I asked what that meant. He said Dads often get 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends since Moms usually get holidays. So, if you have a kid the right age, that might genuinely be an option. Bonus would be that he is likely genuinely divorced.

 

[disneychrista]

Hmmm, not sure if he really intended on getting together at all or was trying to be polite before?

Honestly, when there's been a break in convos like you had, and he pretty much ghosted after the date?
Don't go back. Nope. Onwards and upwards!!!
I haven't come across any man who is down for "just saying Hi" that behaved like your dude did previously.

Plus, isn't it nice to feel wanted? Even for conversation? So when they ghost or shelf you? Cut loses and walk away, don't look back.
Unless they're keeping up their side of a friendship too? Bye Felipe!!!

I had my doubts on why he said he didn't want to pursue things and his intention of getting together at some point. If I hadn't been in his "neck of the woods" I wouldn't have reached out. His non-response was my answer. I am okay with it.

Yes I have enjoyed lots of online conversations that could never translate to real life. But in real life, I don't give up easily and I try to take people at their word. In this case he said he would like to get together sometime. I was near where he lives so thought I would reach out. There was no expectations, no harm in it.

 

[disneychrista]

Is meeting a guy at his house for a first meeting, get to know you, first date really a new thing? Declining seen as not trusting them? I just had a second guy suggest this. Maybe I am really not up for dating in 2021

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

Is meeting a guy at his house for a first meeting, get to know you, first date really a new thing? Declining seen as not trusting them? I just had a second guy suggest this. Maybe I am really not up for dating in 2021

Trust your intuition. Sounds dodgy to me.

 

[disneychrista]

Trust your intuition. Sounds dodgy to me.

Oh, it is not happening.

 

[RogueX]

I haven’t read this entire thread so if it’s a repeat I’m sorry. But every time I go to DL with my kids I think “THIS is where I could probably find the perfect guy for me.” Lol.

Ogas needs a singles night.

Wellllll...you never know. I actually met my first husband at EPCOT. He was a cultural representative from Morocco. After talking with him for a while, he gave me his phone number and after sensing my hesitancy, actually asked "do you trust me". Just like in Aladdin....

 

[shawthorne44]

Is meeting a guy at his house for a first meeting, get to know you, first date really a new thing? Declining seen as not trusting them? I just had a second guy suggest this. Maybe I am really not up for dating in 2021

That isn't a thing. Also, of course you don't trust him. You haven't even met him.
Unfortunately the dodgy guys like this are overrepresented because no one is snapping them up.

 

[disneychrista]

That isn't a thing. Also, of course you don't trust him. You haven't even met him.
Unfortunately the dodgy guys like this are overrepresented because no one is snapping them up.

The first time a guy suggested it, we had chatted for many hours over a few days before he suggested this. I had some sense of who he was and didn't find any red flags when I looked. But still wasn't something I was comfortable doing.

This new guy I literally had a 10 minute conversation with.

 

[ronandannette]

Oh, it is not happening.

Even if they have no ill intent I’d rule them out just for being so completely obtuse as to not realize how awkward that request is.

 

[Pyotr]

Is meeting a guy at his house for a first meeting, get to know you, first date really a new thing? Declining seen as not trusting them? I just had a second guy suggest this. Maybe I am really not up for dating in 2021

No. Absolutely under no circumstance do that.

 

[disneychrista]

Even if they have no ill intent I’d rule them out just for being so completely obtuse as to not realize how awkward that request is.

I do also understand some of the reasoning. Living in a small town where everyone knows everyone, it is hard to keep things from being known. Who wants everyone you know knowing you were out on a date with someone and ask a bunch of questions if it doesn't work out. But still not something I'd entertain for a first meeting.

 

[Mysterian]

Is meeting a guy at his house for a first meeting, get to know you, first date really a new thing? Declining seen as not trusting them? I just had a second guy suggest this. Maybe I am really not up for dating in 2021

Not really a “new” thing, but feels like a Ted Bundy thing. Home is where the soundproof dungeon is, skip it!

 

[Piglet99645]

True. I would hope anyone suggesting a bar for a first date would not suffer from alcohol addiction.

And there is no way of knowing this.... hence, no bars for me.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

And there is no way of knowing this.... hence, no bars for me.

I mean you could have that happen anywhere alcohol could be ordered wouldn't you say? That a person you're on a first date with who has an alcohol addiction knowingly orders alcohol doesn't just occur at a bar. It's the responsibility of the person who has an alcohol addiction to not order alcohol where ever they are at. You don't have any way of knowing if anyone you're going on a date with has an issue with that irrespective of the venue.

 

[shawthorne44]

One really nice location that DH had our first meet was La Madeleine. What made it great is that we had food to eat, but no waiters. We met at the tail end of the dinner rush, so no one was fussing at us for taking a table. But, if it hadn't worked out, we could have ate and run. Since we didn't have to wait for our food, the eating part was over with quickly. As it was, we ended up getting hot chocolate or something because we sat there for a few hours.

 

[disneychrista]

That last guy is never going to meet. Cut him loose.

Well it is official. He is not interested. No surprise there.

So, in summary, I have chatted with a couple dozen guys over the course of just over a month. Had 3 first dates, no second dates. 3 "let's get together" that never happened. One proposed let's go a hotel and 2 let's meet at my house. I am currently not engaging with anyone. But the search continues.

 

[Buzz Rules]

Well it is official. He is not interested. No surprise there.

So, in summary, I have chatted with a couple dozen guys over the course of just over a month. Had 3 first dates, no second dates. 3 "let's get together" that never happened. One proposed let's go a hotel and 2 let's meet at my house. I am currently not engaging with anyone. But the search continues.

Don’t give up on finding Mr. Right. Love is a battlefield (a relative of mine is watching 13 going on 30 right now ).

 

[disneychrista]

Don’t give up on finding Mr. Right. Love is a battlefield (a relative of mine is watching 13 going on 30 right now ).

Not giving up but I would be lying if I said that it is not discouraging.