One of the funniest things I've ever heard at WDW:

[evilqueenmindy]

My parents brought me to MK in the 80's, I was like 3 or so, we got on the old Mission to Mars and on "liftoff" I yelled "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO MARS I WANT TO STAY AT DISNEY WORLD!!!!" I blame them for failing to explain this.

 

[Disney Fool]

I have a bunch of others, but those are my favorites.

Well, don't stop now,...tell us!!!

 

[evilqueenmindy]

I overheard a guy on the bus from POR to Epcot explain to others in the party how the moderate buses were much nicer than the value buses, but the ones for the deluxe resorts biggest and way more comfortable, and didn't make any stops.

 

[JLTraveling]

Well, don't stop now,...tell us!!!

All right, one more. This didn't happen to me, but to a friend. He was selling hot dogs out of a cart. Some woman walked up to him looking very confused.

Woman: Excuse me. Do you know where I can buy a hot dog?

Friend (holds up a hot dog with a pair of tongs): You mean like this?

Woman (excited): Yes, yes! Just like that!

Friend: I'm sorry, ma'am. I have no idea.

Woman (dejected): Oh, well thanks anyway.

She actually walked away!

 

[Disney Fool]

Where do these people come from?

 

[ChildAtHeart82]

All right, one more. This didn't happen to me, but to a friend. He was selling hot dogs out of a cart. Some woman walked up to him looking very confused.

Woman: Excuse me. Do you know where I can buy a hot dog?

Friend (holds up a hot dog with a pair of tongs): You mean like this?

Woman (excited): Yes, yes! Just like that!

Friend: I'm sorry, ma'am. I have no idea.

Woman (dejected): Oh, well thanks anyway.

She actually walked away!

 

[Rhonna]

I think it was first published in 1971 in a book of children's rhymes called "all the way to Pennywell"; however, apparently it had been around before that time. Rumor has it that it was actually made up by soldiers in Vietnam in the 1960s, but as far as I know no one has ever been able to confirm the origin.

I can't believe it was published! That's funny. The humor is so grade school boyish - if it did come from Vietnam soldiers no doubt they were on something, huh? I wonder how many playground ditties are actually published for posterity?

 

[smidgy]

When I was a CM I heard it all, but my favorite was...

"ma'am, do you work here?"--- me "yes how can I help you"-- my thought "no, I just wear a hoop skirt, and a puffy off white shirt because I think it is cute"

while working at MK
guest-"ma'am, can you tell me where I can find The Haunted Mansion?"
me-"yes sir, it is at Disney's MGM Studios" (it was DHS yet)
guest- "where's that, I don't see it on the map"
me-"well it is a different theme park"
guest- well this is disney world isn't it?
me-"yes your are at MK, the haunted mansion is at MGM, and it is all a part of disney"
guest-"WHAT do you mean 4 themeparks!!!"

speaking of clueless CMs...

we were at Epcot once when the dancing fountain in the middle of Future World was walled off, being refurbished.

on our way out, we asked a Cm at the exit turnstile when the dancing fountain would reopen. her reply" WHAT dancing fountain?" us: "the one in the middle of Future world, that dances to music "
her" I don't know anything about a dancing fountain".. ok, nevermind.....

 

[goofyernmost]

On one trip, we were taking the boat from WL to MK when a girl near me pointed to the Contemporary and asked, "what's that?" Her father replied, "That's Space Mountain" I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud.

Oh look...it's Space Mountain.

No wonder I could never find it. I always thought it looked different.

 

[Enchantress01]

Kind of along the same lines, but it was my own mom who said something funny.

A couple years later we were all at Disney together again, and somehow that story came up. Someone must've mentioned the loops, and my mom to proceeded to say "The RnRC doesn't go upside down! I wouldn't have gone on it if it did! I don't go on roller coasters that go upside down!" Somehow, after going on it all those times, she didn't realize she was going upside down, and now refuses to go on it, claiming it's too scary! Unbelievable!

Too funny! It reminds me of our last trip. At Epcot, my DD12 refused to go on Test Track or Mission Space although I assured her neither was scary. She flattly refused. I thought, oh no, I'm doomed to the "boat rides". The next day at HS, we arrived early and she decides she definitely wants to ride ToT first. (who is this girl?) Completely baffled, I kept asking her if she was sure. She insisted. So in case she was still brave after ToT I told her we'd better get fast passes for RnRC (my favorite!) first. She told me not to bother because there was no way she was going to ride a coaster (she was convinced all of the coasters had loops!). But I managed to talk her into getting the fast passes. We headed back over to ToT and mind you, I you're typical type A, high octane type! Pleeeease, how scary could ToT be when I ride RnRC all of the time! Well, but let's just say, I was screaming like a baby; my stomach was in my throat and I was begging them to stop the ride (I know, totally embarrassing). I was sqeezing my daughter so tight I think I cut off all circulation to her brain!! She kept telling me it would be alright and squealing with delight! (I still think she only liked it due to the lack of oxygen!) Just when I couldn't take it anymore-the nightmare stopped. I don't remember how I made it out of there but when we reached solid ground she said, "Let's do it again!!" But I had one up my sleeve. I told her we could after RnRC so we headed over there. She was pretty nervous all the way through the cue. But I told her it was nothing compared to ToT. Well we took off! Again, she was screaming with delight and when we got off she looked at me and said, "Mom, that was amazing! Thank goodness there were no loops!" Yup. I told her about the loop at the beginning and told her how brave she was to do the loop, then braced myself for her response. She paused and said, "That is definitely my favorite ride!" I was so happy we shared leaping outside of our comfort zones together! And now we share a favorite ride. (of course we rode Test Track and Mission Space the next day, laughing and repeating - "I'm not riding this if it has loops!!!)

 

[Enchantress01]

And everyone who works there is a cast member no matter what their job is. There is no ride attendants or waiters in the resteraulnts, no lifeguards or bus drivers, no sales clerks. They are all just Cast Members.

Yes, that one used to confuse me. I thought CM's were only those in the shows and parades!

 

[Enchantress01]

That is freaking HILARIOUS!!! ....and, boy have her parents got their hands full!!! Wow.

My favorite!

 

[lugnut33]

Just the other day we were in Sunshine Seasons at Epcot and there was this English family next to us. They weren't having the greatest time I could see that just by the way they were sitting. Anyways, they have about a 5 year old boy who is obviously high strung. The father tells the kid to sit, which the kid does but says something back. To which the father leans down close to the kids face and says, "You will not disrespect..." at which point the kid literally spits a huge lugi right in dads face. I laughed, but dad was furious after that and I was a little worried about the kids welfare, but they ended up getting up and leaving.

 

[wdwtheplacetobe]

That is from the "Simpsons"!
The rest goes like this: Batmobile lost a wheel, the Joker run away - hey!

Lovely!

I, too...sang it WAY before the Simpsons...however...the Simpsons creators are about my age..so maybe they are reliving their childhoods.

 

[Missytara]

A few years ago, I got on the TTA, thinking it would be a wonderful leisurely way to get off my feet for a bit and just close my eyes and enjoy the ride.

A mother and her son (probably in his 20's) were on the ride a few seats before me.

Suddenly, I hear this woman scream at the top of her lungs as it starts getting dark - I realize we are going through the tunnel near Space Mountain. At first I thought she was afraid of the dark or something.

But, I mean this woman was screaming at the top of her lungs and wouldn't stop.

Finally, she screamed to her son, "I told you I am not going on that ride, you get me off of this thing right now."

She thought we were riding into the Space Mountain Ride itself. Ugh.

 

[topolino]

That is from the "Simpsons"!
The rest goes like this: Batmobile lost a wheel, the Joker run away - hey!

Lovely!

No, it is from playgrounds and schoolyards of America. I sang it as a kid in the 1970s.

 

[schriverl]

A few years ago, I got on the TTA, thinking it would be a wonderful leisurely way to get off my feet for a bit and just close my eyes and enjoy the ride.

A mother and her son (probably in his 20's) were on the ride a few seats before me.

Suddenly, I hear this woman scream at the top of her lungs as it starts getting dark - I realize we are going through the tunnel near Space Mountain. At first I thought she was afraid of the dark or something.

But, I mean this woman was screaming at the top of her lungs and wouldn't stop.

Finally, she screamed to her son, "I told you I am not going on that ride, you get me off of this thing right now."

She thought we were riding into the Space Mountain Ride itself. Ugh.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

Two years ago I was riding RnR with my two 10 yr old daughters. Since they rode together I had to ride alone. They put a single rider next to me, a man of about my age. We talked about our respective kids and then he asked me if it was my first time riding, I must have looked scared. I told him yes it was and he said, "Don't worry, you'll be fine, you've given birth before, this is nothing."
I looked at him and said "No, I adopted!" And at that moment we took off. The look on his face was priceless!

I would have paid to see his face.

Here's a good one...

While riding Spaceship Earth, there was a 20ish couple in the car sitting behind us. They were intently listening and watching, obviously very into it.

We got to the part with the Egyptions "pounding reeds flat", and this is what I hear:

Narrator: (sorry, this isn't going to be verbatim...it's just from my memory) "This Unknown Egyption, pounding reeds flat, created the first paper. With the invention of paper, Egyptions created the first written communication, and unfortunately, the first taxes".

Rider behind me: "Thanks, a** hole!"

All right, one more. This didn't happen to me, but to a friend. He was selling hot dogs out of a cart. Some woman walked up to him looking very confused.

Woman: Excuse me. Do you know where I can buy a hot dog?

Friend (holds up a hot dog with a pair of tongs): You mean like this?

Woman (excited): Yes, yes! Just like that!

Friend: I'm sorry, ma'am. I have no idea.

Woman (dejected): Oh, well thanks anyway.

She actually walked away!

I laughed for a good 5 minutes over this one.

 

[pwdebbie]

Hate to tell you this, but that version predates the Simpsons. We sang it when I was a kid. Batman was originally airing way back in those olden days . . .

Most of you are saying you sang it in the 70s. Well, when I said "olden days" I was talking early 60s. That's well before the Vietnam era!

 

[DrD]

Remember, 90%+ of guests have no plan at all. No TGM, no RM, no TP. Even with RM, I always grab a map, but I don't notice many other people doing so.

Some have a guidebook, but the vast majority of people turn their brains off when they go to Disney. Thank heavens for them--by evening they're waiting in the 90 minute line for Peter Pan, while we do three rides in that time.

I thought they provided TP?

and what the heck is TGM and RM? I thought I was ready for my trip but now I wonder.....