Thanks all.
I learned with both Sage and Blaze in the last couple of years that the only way I can go on is to look for the blessings in the midst of the tragedy. I learned with the Columbia disaster that sometimes, I need to take some time, even if it's just a couple of hours, to do something totally unrelated that I enjoy that will let me forget all (or at least some of) the stress for a few minutes. I did that Wednesday, but wasn't able to find that time yesterday, unless the Tai Chi warmup (and meditation) counts. I am going to try to find it today.
My DH and I have discussed that if my mom is able to keep the house (that is in question, but DH and I both think we'll be able to find a way), that when my mom tries to go through things and throw things away over the next year, unless it's stuff that is very obviously real and true trash (she'll be allowed to throw kleenex away, for example), that we'll be intercepting any trash we can to make sure there's nothing in it that she may regret throwing away sometime later. We also won't be letting her go over there by herself and stay by herself for at least the next few weeks, and if I have anything to say about it, the next month or so. She does need to return to normal as much as possible when she can, but I'd vastly prefer that a family member or friend be with her for the first week or so of her return to that house. I'm hoping that her brother's wife will be able to do so.
May I please ask for more prayers for my mom, this time that she'll slow down and stop acting like/thinking that everything has to be decided and done in the next 10 days, and that she'll have faith in us and in God that, at least for the short term (few months), she'll be okay financially as well?
Also, for the Xanax -- a doctor prescribed that for her, but somehow we've lost it
Literally -- there are 4 pharmacies it could be in. It's not at any of them, it hasn't been picked up, but insurance says it was filled.
We weren't able to find the time yesterday to find it, so I'm going to send her hunting again today. She actually just called the pharmacist who's been their pharmacist for something like 8 or 10 years, and he said he'd track it down for us. (Another advantage to using a *pharmacy* instead of mail-order).
I don't really want to take a Xanax unless I have to. I'm already taking enough medications that I want to avoid another if I can. I do have a homeopathic method of stress relief/ etc that I'm using, and my mom is also using. (For those interested, it's Bach's Rescue Remedy, and it *is* working.) I'm also already on a mild antidepressant/anti-anxiety medicine anyway to help me sleep (have been for a couple of years), and on Monday I may call my Dr to see if I can get a double-dose of that (once morning, once evening perhaps) since I know that one's non-addicting for me and has no negative side effects on me that we've found so far. And one positive side effect of added antihistamine effects. The time that I may go ahead and ask for some Xanax is when I try to return to work. That, of all things, is the part I'm dreading the most since I worked with my dad. That's where I'm going to feel it the most.
Once I slow down enough to fall asleep (didn't happen until about 3:30 or even 4 last night), I'm sleeping hard and relatively peacefully. I credit that to a combination of the two benadryl I've been taking *anyway* for the hives, and to the prayer support. And, perhaps, to having learned through 9/11, Sage, Columbia, and Blaze somewhat how to set aside the tragedy for a few minutes, just long enough at the key time to be able to fall asleep.
Right now, I think I'm going to go lie back down again for an hour or so. Things aren't going to get rolling this morning until about 11 or 12, and I'm going to try to take this opportunity to sleep some more.
Continued prayers for you and your family 
