One crappie year, a quick Disney trip and we're still married!!(All done, 09/24)

[connorsmom911]

And here you have it...the final installment! Thank you all for your patience and I'll see you in a month (andabit) with the next trip report...Our first MNSSHP!

With fastpasses at the ready, we walked hand-in-hand as a family down the long corridor to Soarin, right in to the front row and settled into our seats, strapping Connor in between the two of us. Once again we enjoyed an awesome ride, although I think the realism did freak Connor out a little bit…”Did that ride scare you?” “Little bit.” “Do you want to go again?” “No.”

So that was the end of our soaring day. We decided to end on a high note. It was becoming apparent that Connor was getting really tired and so were we. Better to drive to the beach in the daylight too. Illuminations would have to wait for the next trip. Good thing too, because Connor was asleep before we hit I-4. I can only imagine the meltdown that might have ensued had we tried to hang out at Epcot for another few hours. It’s amazing how a bad mood and fighting all day can be so exhausting! Add in the heat and humidity and we were all done like dinner.

We had a pleasant drive over to the coast, lots of meaningful discussion and recalling wonderful memories of this trip and times gone by. I couldn’t remember having felt that close to dh in a very long time. We both agreed that we would work harder on our relationship and communicating. We checked into the hotel and enjoyed a wonderful couple of days at the beach before heading back home.

Amy joined us for the flight back and Jennifer’s fiancé flew in the night we left. As an engagement present, we went together with my parents and left our room made up for them as a surprise, since they thought they were sharing a room with my folks for the week.

I can’t really say what it was specifically that happened on this trip to Disney, other than a few of those pixie dust moments mentioned earlier, but somehow we managed to capture some of the magic that invariably surrounds you in this wonderous place and brought it home with us. Yes, admittedly we are still fighting, bickering and not always getting along, but somehow the mood seems lighter…it’s easier now to stop in the middle of a fight, stare at eachother and burst out laughing…and it’s pretty hard to keep fighting at that point. We don’t seem to stay mad for very long. There’s just no point in wasting time on it. I don’t think either one of us is taking our relationship for granted anymore. We both realize that this marriage requires work, time, and play, and we’re diligently trying at all of these. Connor has noticed the difference too I think. He’s constantly catching both of us and announcing “Family hug!!” We all squeeze together for a few minutes and it feels wonderful!

There have been some bumps in the road since we got back, but there have been some really great times too. Recently dh was asked to be a groomsman in his best friends wedding at the end of August. Back when we were having a lot of problems, dh of course turned to his friend for support and advice, which led to strained relations between the friend and me (just as my friends took my side, dh’s friend took his side, understandably). We hadn’t spoken in some time, but things were smoothed out and it was nice to patch things up with a hug the night before the wedding when he stopped by with dh before heading back to his house where dh was spending the night. I thought a lot about my relationship with dh and our wedding day as I was getting dressed for the wedding the next day. When I went to my dresser, I glanced at my wedding rings. I had taken them off last year and thrown them at dh when I left with Connor one late night after a particularly brutal fight, vowing to divorce eachother. Dh had returned them to me but I hadn’t put them back on. It just didn’t seem right to wear them when I was sure our marriage was over. Even though things had settled down in our relationship over the last few months and life was good, I still hadn’t put my rings back on. I guess I had been waiting for the right moment, something symbolic, or for dh to “propose” again or something.

But suddenly that day, on the occasion of our good friend’s wedding, I felt the urge to put them back on. I wanted to be married again. I felt like I was married again…and it felt good. I stared at them for a long time back on my ring finger. Forgot how sparkly they were. I finished getting ready and drove to the church where dh was already waiting with the rest of the groom’s party. He met me at the car and when I opened the door, he offered his hand to help me out of the car. Observant guy that he is, I felt his fingers rub the rings on my hand and he looked at me and smiled. Boy he was handsome all decked out in the tux, and I said as much. During the ceremony the priest made reference to this wedding ceremony being a time for other married couples to rejoice in their own marriage and remember what brought them together, the special times that they’ve shared and their love for eachother. Dh turned to look and me. It was like in that moment we were transported back to our own wedding day. I can’t remember whether he mouthed the words or not, but I know both of us were thinking the same thing…I do. Later at the reception, dh requested the dj play our wedding song, I’ll Be by Edwin McCain, and we shared a wonderful few moments celebrating our own love while dancing with the bride and groom nearby. Dh didn’t get much of a say in the planning of our wedding…remember now who is the planner in this family…but he picked the song for our first dance. I had never heard it before he mentioned it, but it turned out to be perfect. Listening to it now on my mp3 player, I do think the lyrics are so appropriate for our relationship…

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older…

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

I’ve still got my rings on. We’re still married. We’re still a family…and we’ve decided to try to add another baby to the family, so maybe in a few months I’ll have some good news to share. For now though, we’re just enjoying our renewed love in each other. Dh and I are heading back to Disney in October, just the two of us. Although we’re still in deep debt and probably shouldn’t spend more money on credit (although we’ve both worked a lot of overtime this summer), we both agree that the magic of Disney brought something out in our marriage that we both needed, and we decided that an “adults only” trip would be a good thing…just to make sure.

I can’t say that a trip to Disney will save all marriages, and maybe Disney really had nothing to do with it…but I’d like to think that it did. Just like getting pregnant with Connor after months of infertility…found out the day after we got back from an amazing trip to Florida. Sure I probably didn’t get pregnant on the trip, but we like to think it. And who knows, maybe this next trip to Disney in October will yield us another great souvenir…I’ll be sure to let you know!!

 

[aGoofyMom]

and maybe Disney really had nothing to do with it…but I’d like to think that it did.

If you had the conversation with him anywhere else and just asked him after a day of fighting about "having fun yet" - you wouldn't have believed him. Of course he likely wouldn't have been having fun either - say fighting all day while running errands at Walmart...regardless. It took having that conversation in that place for the magic to come out.

Although it still amazes me that a few months away from the magic and he resists going back! (and yet a few minutes there and he will likely lighten up)

I am so glad things are going better for you - it is hard to watch someone go through something like that knowing there isn't a whole lot you can do to help.

Now RELAX woman! And enjoy the pixie dust