Older kid gets bigger bedroom by default?

[LindaBabe]

Grandma would say the older child gets the smaller bedroom, because the younger one still has toys and plays in the bedroom, while the older one gets more grown up furniture and usually uses the room for sleeping, dressing and study. S/he is also out of the house more for activities.

 

[low-key]

give it to your favorite kid and tell the other one he is a disappointment

 

[MSSANDRA]

Sometimes other factors come into play. My sisters boys are VERY different. The bedrooms in the house are too. One is huge, one is much smaller. The older DS really wanted the cozy smaller room and the older one the much larger. Just worked out. Our boys rooms are exactly the same but the little guy has this really cool loft bed with a desk and tons of shelves underneath, and the older one has a typical queen bedroom suit. Everyone wants to know why the younger one gets the biggest room

 

[barkley]

I agree, oldest should get their choice of bedroom (unless it's a case of a shared bedroom). And I agree the youngest benefits in different ways. Not only is (in theory) the family in better financial shape, but I'm guessing parents are also more lenient and forgiving with younger children.

my siblings and I disagree on this point, but as the youngest (with closest sibling 6 years older) I have to say this was not my experience nor the experience of many of the youngest sibs I've known.

parents are NOT more lenient-they've learned all the excuses/alibies/tricks the older sibs used so they are 'armed and ready'. if your sibs have left home already there's no one else to distract mom/dad, so I led a much more restricted life.

family may be in better financial shape, but also may be nearing (or in my teen years case entering) retirement years on a fixed income.

there's pros and cons to being oldest or youngest, in my mind the biggest con on being the youngest was having fewer years/memories with my parents vs. my older sibs.


back to the subject at hand-we based room designation on kid's needs/interests. dd (oldest) likes to sing and got tired of people asking her to take it down a notch. we designated the bedroom in our current home to her that does not have a shared wall with another bedroom. just happens to be smaller than her brother's but she's gone socializing with her friends so she doesn't spend much time there. ds (our youngest) has the larger room which works well floor space wise for his video games.

 

[PizzieDuster]

As a youngest child I'll just say now.....

This thread sucks!

Oldest always gets to pick first, gets the new stuff, gets the biggest room, etc.

Yeah, I'm still bitter.


I'd go with who has more stuff?

bookgirl, I went with who has the more stuff

Three kids. Two older boys, a daughter 6 years younger. She got the big bedroom. My argument was....she's a girl, needed the bigger closet, the bigger room because girls have kitchens and doll houses, etc., boys play with controls with their thumbs. I'm talking about xbox, etc. lol

Worked out. Both sons are away at college, she's 15 and has her big room with her larger closet.

 

[PizzieDuster]

give it to your favorite kid and tell the other one he is a disappointment

I spit out my wine.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The oldest got the room where her bedroom furniture fit.

If that is not the case, oldest gets first dibs. Then again I have 2 girls.

The house we are in now both girls have there own bathrooms, thank goodness.

 

[ShayBells]

As a youngest child I'll just say now..... This thread sucks! Oldest always gets to pick first, gets the new stuff, gets the biggest room, etc. Yeah, I'm still bitter. I'd go with who has more stuff?

As a youngest child as well I am with you. It wasn't my fault I was born last lol

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[gottaluvPluto]

Oldest usually gets the larger bedroom. Thus perpetuating the "first born (or oldest) gets the best of everything and the youngest always gets the leftovers" stigma.
Yes, I'm the younger daughter and a middle child. Don't get me started.

As a youngest child I'll just say now.....

This thread sucks!

Oldest always gets to pick first, gets the new stuff, gets the biggest room, etc.

Yeah, I'm still bitter.


I'd go with who has more stuff?

I am the youngest of three and I always got the left overs! I got everyones old clothes, old bikes ..... I never had anything new. I remember when I was 13 asking my mom for a new shirt because I never had one.

Anyway, things are very different for my children and I go out of my way to make sure my kids are treated fairly. They will draw straws or do something else to pick what person gets what room. Just because you are the oldest doesn't mean you always get the best and the youngest gets the left overs.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

I agree, oldest should get their choice of bedroom (unless it's a case of a shared bedroom). And I agree the youngest benefits in different ways. Not only is (in theory) the family in better financial shape, but I'm guessing parents are also more lenient and forgiving with younger children.

Actually, my parents had more money with with one child and they were harder on me.

Most people assume parents have more money when the youngest comes along (or when everyone leaves the house) and he/she gets everything given to them ..... not always true.

Actually, all the youngest siblings I know didn't get any benefits that you stated above.

 

[MrsPete]

Im surprised this hasn't been said yet: I would not choose a house in which the children would be given significantly unequal bedrooms.

As for older younger, i can only speak for the older children: We've had the best in some ways -- we didn't have to compete with older siblings for our parents' attention as infants and toddlers. But we have the worst in other ways: We were always held responsible for what the younger ones did -- he's too little to know better! Why didn't you stop him? We were unpaid, unwilling babysitters. I did many more chores than my younger siblings, simply because i was old enough to do them well. By the time we older kids were out of the house, the amount of work was greatly reduced. We orders had to fight for every privilege, then we saw the younger children given those same options at younger ages. In my generation, the oldest didn't automatically get everything new -- many of my clothes were hand-me-downs from cousins. The youngers, though, got hand-me-downs AND some new clothes; they always had a greater quantity than i did. First choice on small things here and there's doesn't sound like all that much in exchange.

Who has it better? Doesn't matter, given that none of us can change or choose where we end up.

 

[Bluestars]

Im surprised this hasn't been said yet: I would not choose a house in which the children would be given significantly unequal bedrooms.

As for older younger, i can only speak for the older children: We've had the best in some ways -- we didn't have to compete with older siblings for our parents' attention as infants and toddlers. But we have the worst in other ways: We were always held responsible for what the younger ones did -- he's too little to know better! Why didn't you stop him? We were unpaid, unwilling babysitters. I did many more chores than my younger siblings, simply because i was old enough to do them well. By the time we older kids were out of the house, the amount of work was greatly reduced. We orders had to fight for every privilege, then we saw the younger children given those same options at younger ages. In my generation, the oldest didn't automatically get everything new -- many of my clothes were hand-me-downs from cousins. The youngers, though, got hand-me-downs AND some new clothes; they always had a greater quantity than i did. First choice on small things here and there's doesn't sound like all that much in exchange.

Who has it better? Doesn't matter, given that none of us can change or choose where we end up.

This was my experience too. I never had my own room. I had a stereo in my room that I purchased myself. No TV. I had to buy my own clothes in high school. I never had a car.

Compare that to my younger siblings who had new clothes bought for them, they each had a car purchased for them when they were old enough to drive, and they had their own rooms with TV sets. My parents were much better off financially and were able to move into their dream home, where my younger siblings grew up.

With my kids, they were all able to have their own rooms but money was tight when my oldest was younger. We never took expensive vacations and I constantly had to divide my time between work and each child. My youngest child definitely has an easier life. He's been on some great vacations that we weren't able to take when all of the kids lived at home. But yeah, he got the smallest room and had to work his way up when his siblings moved out. In the long run, he's had it the best though.

 

[Jennasis]

When we moved into our big fancy house when I was a kid, my parents gave ME (the middle child) the larger bedroom (which was the home's original master bedroom before they added on a master suite). I never questioned it as a kid...just thought I'd hit the lottery. My older sister never complained. I was 12 and she was 16. Younger sister, 6, got the smallest bedroom.

Their reasoning was that in our previous home, my older sister had her own room for so long while I had to share with the baby for 6 years (of torture!).

However you do it, do what works for your family!

 

[VAfamily1998]

In our house, it was more about the location of the room, needs of the child than the size.

When we moved in, our kids were 6, 4, 2 and newborn and there were 3 kid bedrooms--one large, one medium, one small. Two kids were going to share a room (the 4 and 2 year olds) so they got the biggest room. The medium size room was closest to the master bedroom, so the newborn got that, which meant our oldest actually got the smallest room.

It's been several years since then, and now our younger two children share the big bedroom, and the 2nd child has the medium size bedroom, and the oldest still has the smallest bedroom.

 

[VAfamily1998]

Im surprised this hasn't been said yet: I would not choose a house in which the children would be given significantly unequal bedrooms.

It's not always a matter of choice. If you live in an area where property values are high, it's a seller's market, and your budget/income is fairly low, you can't always be so picky.

 

[Granny square]

I'd give the oldest first pick. They will be gone in a few years and the next child moves up.

As far as best and worst, my older son has had far greater punishment and far more rules than the third. We just didn't have a clue.

 

[Disney Doll]

I swear I think I must have been a really weird kid. I was the youngest. We had a 3 bedroom house. My parents had the larger room on the 1st floor. I had the smaller room on the first floor. My brother had the whole 2nd floor. It was a small Cape with an oddly placed stairwell going up to the 2nd floor so there could only be one bedroom up there.

I don't ever think it hit my radar that he had a bigger bedroom.

 

[sweetdana]

So my kids have it backwards..

I had a perfectly, baby, girly room painted while pregnant with DD8.. pink, purple, butterflies..

When DD1 was going to be a girl I have DD8 option a room maker turning the boring beige extra bedroom into a young ladies room.. or keep the bigger room.. and we paint the boring room for the baby..

DD8 now has fun loud color stripes, and the smaller room (by actually 2 feet), and DD1 has the perfect baby room DD8 had prior.


(note, we have 2 bedrooms in the basement that are nothing rooms, I am sure 1 day the older one will move into 1 and it is MUCH bigger, and then when she moves out.. DD2 will jump all over it as well.. 2K sq foot of unused pretty private space seems like a win when she is bigger. )

 

[stargazer2892]

Growing up my sister and I chose the rooms we wanted. Since we moved quite a bit it was never a huge issue. Though military houses tend to be quite square so don't think there was ever a huge issue about who's room was bigger since it probably was only bigger by a foot or so.
DS does have a bigger room by 1 foot but his room also only has one awkward window in the corner, DD how ever has two big windows that make the room look much bigger but it way more of a PITA to configure. Now DS's room was picked simply because we can see his crib from our bed and it didn't feel right moving him in to the other room.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Well I will be the one that deviates...lol. When we moved to our house (four bedrooms upstairs). One master, then two of them were about equal size (one with 2 closets) and one that was smaller then other other two. My kids at the time were 3, 15 and 16. Since the 16 year old was going to be out sooner he got the smallest room and the three year old being a girl got the one with the two closets. LOL. Now of course my then 16 year old didn't go away to school so was here the longest...go figure! But he moved to the downstairs bedroom once the baby came, and then we built him a really really big bedroom in the basement.

I wonder if that is where all his anger stems from... .